“I’m sorry. But we’ll come back real soon,” I promised.
While Brianna kept the kids out of the way, I put down planks and drove the lawn mower into the trailer. As I was latching the tailgate, Brianna smiled at me and said, “You’re way more fun than the people I work with.”
“After what you’ve told me about them, that’s not much of a compliment,” I said.
That made her laugh.
It was a nice laugh.
She followed me in her car back to my grandparents’ house where I parked the truck and trailer. Then we drove to a park where we rented a boat. I rowed us out into the middle of the small lake where I began trying to row the boat in a tight little circle. I wasn’t real good at it and ended up splashing a lot of water with the oars. Brianna sat in the back of the boat, facing me, trying to keep from getting wet, and laughing at my lack of skill. Finally, I gave it up and let the boat drift.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
“My mom and dad used to go fishing together before they were married. My grandparents told me all about it. My mom didn’t enjoy it much, but she did it anyway.”
“How come?”
“I don’t know why. I guess maybe because my mom and dad were intrigued by each other.”
“Intrigued?” she asked. “Is that the same thing as attracted?”
“Not in the beginning it wasn’t.”
“So what are we doing here, following in your mom and dad’s footsteps?” she asked.
“That’s right. Let’s try an experiment. Let’s be real quiet and see if anything happens.”
“What do you think is going to happen?”
“I don’t know. Some kind of magic I guess.”
“I’ll close my eyes.” she said.
“Good idea. Me too.”
After a minute, I opened my eyes. She was looking at me.
“So, what do you think?” I asked. “Anything magical happen?”
“I found out you squint your eyes like a little boy when he’s told to close his eyes for a big surprise. It’s kind of cute.”
“A guy like me does not like to be called cute.”
“Well, that’s too bad. You are cute anyway, whether you like it or not.”
“Do you want me to tell you what I like about your face?” I asked.
Suddenly she looked worried. “No, that’s okay.”
Then I knew what the problem was. She was afraid I might somehow let it slip that I cared about her. If I told her she meant more to me than the music we shared or the Monopoly games we played, then, because of Thomas, she’d be duty-bound to insist we quit seeing each other.
I liked her too much to risk that. I shrugged my shoulders. “Actually, I don’t like your face that much. It’s pretty much an average face in all respects.”
She splashed some water at me and smiled. I think we were both relieved.
“The only thing I need right now is some shade,” I said. “Let’s take the boat back and do something else. This was a dumb idea.”
“No magic, right?” she asked.
“That’s right. Not a single bit of magic.”
We spent the rest of the day with my grandparents, helping them do some yard work. And then, of course, they asked Brianna to stay for a barbecue.
After dinner, Brianna and I took a little walk. We ended up on the street that led to the train station, the one we had walked together several times while we were on our missions and going to or from my grandparents’ house.
I thought about the battles we had had when we were competing over who was going to teach Eddie and Claire.
“Can you believe how we treated each other when we were missionaries?” I asked.
Brianna shook her head. “You were so rude,” she said. “I could hardly stand to be around you.”
I looked at her in disbelief. “Me? How about you? I had never met anyone more . . . more . . .”
“Spiritual?”
“No.”
“Diligent?”
“No.”
“Capable?”
I had been ready to take up the fight all over again, but when I looked at her, I could see she was just having fun, and it made me laugh.
“I know,” she said. “I really was a pain. Always trying to protect my turf. I can’t blame you for hating me.”
It was my turn to apologize. “No. I was the one who was out of line. I was so insecure, I took everything personally. I’m sorry for the way I acted.”
In the time since our missions, we had never really talked about the war we had fought. It was something we had needed to do. Now it had been put to rest.
She left at nine-thirty, promising to pick me up at seven-thirty the next morning for church.
Sunday morning, promptly at seven-thirty, I saw her pull into the driveway. I grabbed my scriptures and headed out the door to join her.
“You look nice,” I said.
“You too.”
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
“A little. How about you?”
“Yeah. You’ve got such a good voice. I don’t want to mess it up for you.”
“You won’t.”
“If I do, I’ll stand up afterwards and take full responsibility.”
She patted my arm. “Don’t worry about it. Everything will go fine.”
“Thanks for letting me do this with you.”
“Are you kidding? It’s been so much fun . . . to practice together.”
“Yes, it has,” I said.
“Oh, I got an e-mail from Thomas last night.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Really well. He asked about you.”
“What did he want to know?”
“Oh, you know, just the usual. Like why I’m never home when he calls.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him about us practicing for today.”
“Sure, we had to practice a lot because I haven’t played since high school.”
“I told him that.”
“Good.”
“I think he was a little jealous,” she said.
“Of me? No need for that.”
“That’s what I told him.”
“Good. I’m glad you did. I wouldn’t want Thomas worrying about us. I want all of his energy focused on passing the bar exam.”
“I agree . . . totally.”
We were early enough that we had the chapel to ourselves. First Brianna warmed up. Then we went through the song a couple of times, and then had a short prayer.
We decided to sit in one of the side rows near the front. The meeting wouldn’t start for another half hour, so we each opened our scriptures and spent time reading. As the people began coming in, I wondered if someone walking into the chapel and seeing us sitting next to each other would think we were a couple. I could see how that could happen because of how close we were sitting to each other.
Our part of the program turned out much better than I’d even hoped for. I managed to make it through with only one tiny mistake. Brianna’s amazing voice filled the chapel with beauty, and, even more important, it brought the Spirit into the meeting.
When we sat down again after we finished, she reached for my hand and squeezed it and leaned over and said quietly, “Thanks. You did great.”
“No. You did great!” I whispered.
She nodded, and I put my arm around her and gave her a squeeze. For an instant she relaxed in my arm, but then she moved a few inches away.
During Sunday School, we sat in the first row and both participated in the lesson by answering questions and giving comments.
It was a substitute teacher, and he didn’t know who we were. “Let’s see, you’re Brother and Sister . . . ?”
“Actually, we’re not married,” I said.
“Oh, sorry.”
“No problem,” Brianna said. “We both enjoy music. That’s what brought us together.”
I nodded, seemingly in total agreement.
After church,
on our way out of the parking lot, Brianna turned to me and said, “Since we’re over here, would you like to see where I work?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Twenty minutes later we got out of the elevator on one of the upper floors of an office building. She unlocked a door and led me into a suite of offices. Her office was actually a cubicle surrounded by other cubicles.
“This is home,” she said.
I couldn’t help noticing her desk was clean.
We moved a chair from the adjoining cubicle so we could both sit down.
“So, what do you do here all day?”
“Mostly I do research for one of the more established lawyers. As soon as I get a little more experience, they’ll give me more responsibility. But, actually, this is only a temporary job. When Thomas and I get married, we’ll be living in Michigan. His dream for us is to some day have our own practice.” She paused. “Some day he hopes to run for governor.”
“It’s great you both know what you want to do. I was going to major in information systems, but now I’m not so sure.”
“What would you rather major in?” she asked.
“Well, that’s just it. I’m not sure. It’s been so much fun working for my grandfather. If I could, I’d just keep doing this for the rest of my life.”
“You’re so smart though. You could do anything you put your mind to.”
“What’s the point of doing something your whole life you don’t enjoy?” I asked. “Do you love everything about your job?”
She looked around her tiny cubicle. “Some things you do because it’s like you have to pay dues to get where you want to go. That’s what this job is for me. It’s just a stepping-stone to something I really want.”
“And what is that? To make a lot of money?”
“No, to make a difference, to improve conditions for people, to be a champion for the underdog.”
“How many underdogs come in here in a day? I mean, let’s face it. The only people who can afford to come here already have lots of money. So what good are you really doing anybody?”
Her voice turned stern and unyielding. “I’ll get to where I want to be, Adam. Don’t you tell me I won’t.”
I’d said too much. “I’m sorry.”
She stood up. “It’s okay. Let’s just go.”
As we got in the car, I said, “So, how far do you live from here?”
“About ten minutes away.”
“Could I see your place?”
She sighed. “I don’t think it would be appropriate for us to be alone in my apartment.”
“I just want to see it, that’s all. I mean, it’s not a big deal.”
“I know.” She sighed again. “But what if Thomas called while you were there? What would I tell him?”
“The truth. That we’re just friends.”
“I don’t want him to be distracted while he’s getting ready for the bar exam.”
“Okay, no problem.”
When we pulled into my grandparents’ driveway, my grandfather came out to talk to Brianna. “How did you two do on your song in sacrament meeting?”
“We did great,” Brianna said with a big grin on her face.
“I wish we could have been there, but they have us teaching Primary in our ward, and the kids would miss us.”
“That’s okay.”
“You’ll eat with us, won’t you?”
She paused. “Well, the truth is I feel guilty eating all your food.”
“Nonsense, we’d just throw it out if you didn’t eat with us. Please stay. It’ll be ready in just a few minutes.”
I knew that Brianna was trying to put some distance between her and me, but it’s very hard to turn down my grandfather, so in the end she agreed to stay.
We warmed up to each other a little bit while we helped my grandmother set the table and lay out the food.
We ate in the dining room. The food was good, and my grandparents took so much delight in having Brianna there, that she couldn’t help feeling welcomed and loved.
Just after dessert, the phone rang. It was Lara, my second mom, calling from Salt Lake.
Because she had insisted on me taking piano lessons, one of the first things I told her was about the song we’d done for sacrament meeting.
She was delighted.
“You want to hear it?” I asked.
“I would love to hear it,” she said enthusiastically.
We set the phone near the piano and did our song.
“Oh, that was so wonderful! Brianna has a beautiful singing voice.”
“Here, I’ll let you tell her that.”
I gave Brianna the phone. “My mom wants to talk to you.”
“Oh, yes, Adam is taking good care of me. He’s such a nice guy. You must be very proud of him,” Brianna said. They talked for ten minutes, and it made me glad they got along so well.
Finally Brianna handed the phone back to me.
“We got some mail for you from BYU,” Lara told me. “Do you want me to forward it to you?”
“No, just go ahead and open it and tell me what it says.”
“Hold on.” A long pause. “It’s an invitation to freshman orientation. You’re supposed to RSVP. What shall I tell them?”
“I’m not sure.”
“They’ll need to know in two weeks.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
“Also, your father and I need to know if you want to work part-time for us while you’re at BYU. You could do it from a computer at school.”
I hated feeling that pressure from her. I hesitated for a bit, then said, “I’m not sure. I’ll have to let you know.”
Lara apparently thought I was worried about something else because she said, “We checked. They have filters that block pornography, so we think you’d be okay.”
I felt embarrassed because it was the first time I realized my dad had told my mom about the problem I’d had before leaving home. Also, I worried that Brianna might be wondering why my face was turning red.
“Actually, on that topic, Mom, I’m doing really well.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. We’re proud of you for honoring your temple covenants.”
“Mom, I need to go now.”
“Think about working for us, will you? It’d be good for us and bring in some extra money for you.”
“Okay, I will. Thanks, Mom. Nice talking to you.”
When I hung up, I wondered if Brianna could tell I had felt embarrassed at what my mom had asked me.
She didn’t seem to notice, probably because she had her own issues to deal with, namely that we were fast becoming very good friends even though she was planning on marrying Thomas.
“I’d better go,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll see you around. Is it okay if I don’t walk you out to your car?”
“Of course it is. We’d just end up wasting another hour or two if you did.”
“That’s probably true.”
I gave her a halfhearted wave after she’d thanked my grandparents and was on her way out the door.
I was in no mood to attempt another drawing of her. For one reason, I could never do her justice, and for another reason, I knew it was a waste of time to invest any feelings in a girl who was about to get married.
While my grandparents took a nap, I sat at the piano and played hymns and then, tiring of that, started to come up with a song. At first it was just a song reflecting how I felt, but after an hour I realized I was writing a song for Brianna.
It made me mad that I couldn’t get her out of my mind, that whenever I had a moment to spare I’d start drawing her face or writing her a song.
I’m setting myself up for a huge disappointment, I thought.
9
On Monday, Brianna was too busy at work to come for dinner, but she did drop by a little after eight- thirty. We went into the kitchen and had cookies and milk.
“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” she said.
“Sure.”
“Thomas called me last night after I got back to my apartment. He wants to come down and see me Friday night. If he comes, he’d stay Friday night and then head back sometime Saturday afternoon.”
“I bet you’re excited to see him,” I said, trying my best to hide any jealousy I was feeling.
“Yes, I am. It’s been a while since we’ve been together.” She paused. “There’s just one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, of course he could stay in a motel . . .”
Suddenly I got it. “There’s no reason for that. Why don’t we see if he can stay here? I’m sure my grandparents would be happy to put him up for the night.”
She nodded. “I’ve already talked to them about it. When your grandmother called me at work to invite me to dinner, I told her Thomas was coming, and she insisted he stay with them.” She paused. “The thing is, I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”
“Look, you and I are just friends, okay? I’ll be fine with him staying here.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely. He can stay in the guest room. It’s such a big house, we’ll probably never even bump into each other and even if we do, we’ll get along great. I mean, we have a lot in common. We both think you’re wonderful.”
And so it was arranged.
Although I’d said Thomas and I would get along, the truth was I didn’t even want to meet him. I wouldn’t have, either, if he’d kept to the schedule he and Brianna had arranged for his visit.
The plan was that Brianna would pick him up at the Newark airport at seven. She’d drive him to the house so he could meet my grandparents and drop off his stuff, and then they’d go out to eat. By the time they got back, I’d probably be in bed. They’d be gone most of the day Saturday, and then she’d drive him to the airport to catch a night flight to Detroit.
Early Friday evening, about the time his plane was scheduled to arrive, I was in the basement of one of my grandfather’s apartment buildings, trying to bring order to the tenant storage room. It was a slow process that involved asking the tenants to come, one at a time, to the storeroom and identify their stuff, which I then tagged.
At nine o’clock, I figured Thomas had long ago showed up at the house and left with Brianna, so I drove home.
I drove past the house slowly to make sure Brianna’s car wasn’t there, went around the block, and then pulled into the driveway.