* * * *
Tyler slipped in and out of consciousness, not knowing where he was or what was happening. In those rare moments he would drift awake, he felt as if he were lying on something soft. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried, he could never stay conscious enough to open his eyes or sense anything more than pressure on his back.
In the blackness of unconsciousness, he dreamed of a strange world filled with beings that were human, yet not human. At times he was himself, the human Tyler, but other times he was one of the other creatures. Everyone spoke strange and exotic languages, and although Tyler couldn’t understand what they were saying, an occasional word suddenly came to life, offering a glimmer into his strange surroundings. It was disconcerting, and Tyler felt alien and alone.
He was a part of this dream world, yet he knew it to be a dream. A whole lifetime of this alter-ego passed like a movie in his mind—a movie in which he had an active role. He was lost in this other life and clung desperately to what he knew was Tyler—or what he thought was Tyler.
Frustrated, he demanded that others in his dream call him Tyler, not Admiral as they kept referring to him. But despite his insistence, everyone would peer at him strangely before laughing it off. His frustrations grew, but the strange world ignored his pleadings.
He couldn’t remember what had happened, and he struggled to piece it together. Unfortunately, the other life intruded, forcing him back into the strange world he did not comprehend. A world where he knew he didn’t belong. He fought against it, trying to will himself awake, to escape from the alien surroundings, but it was useless, the movie played on with Tyler trapped in the role of the Admiral.
At one point, he found himself on the bridge of a large vessel. He barked commands as people scurried about him, moving to execute the orders he didn’t even understand. It was surreal as he didn’t even know what was going on. Helpless, he looked upon the scene, a part of it, yet still apart from it.
Something serious was happening, that much he’d figured, but he still didn’t know what. His other self continued barking orders as an occasional word drifted into Tyler’s consciousness, making sense. Words like armament, condition, and prepare, reinforced Tyler’s sense that something serious was taking place.
The scene played out, until Tyler felt the room shake. Deep sounds rumbled off the walls, forcing everyone to grab onto anything that would hold them steady. Tyler or his other self desperately grabbed for the arm of a nearby chair, but missed as he was flung across the room slamming into the side of a console. A bright light flashed across his eyes as a searing pain ripped through his left side. Stars swam through his vision as he slipped back into a dark oblivion of pain. He felt his mouth move to scream, and then he woke upright in a bed, his screams echoing into an empty room.
His mind reeled with confusion as he sought an explanation. Was he awake this time or was he trapped in another dream world? It felt real enough as he moved his hands around his body. A painful spot on his left side brought back memories of the bridge and slamming into the console, but he was certain that was a dream. Or had it?
The pain was real enough, but for some reason, the body didn’t feel like his own. He stared around the room looking for something familiar, something to bring clarity to his situation. It was a bleak, utilitarian room with blank white walls that belied no signs of where he was. He looked down at the bed. White linen sheets covered by a cream colored blanket all seemed normal enough. At his side, a small table held a lamp and small electronic devices with several lights, one blinking blue. Again, no help.
He searched his mind for clues. But the other self intruded, memories that were not his own swam to the surface despite his efforts to suppress them. Through only a force of will, he brought back his own memories. Thosolan, the glowing orbs, his predicament, everything flooded back. Suddenly, visions of a dying ship and being sucked into a dying body sprang into his consciousness.
It all made sense. He was still in the body, trapped in what appeared to be a hospital room. Was he still in space? Was this a floating hospital ship? The single window in the room to his left was covered by a blind, blocking his view. However, light seeping around the edges indicated he was no longer in space.
He assumed he was on the blue planet he’d originally seen before being distracted by the battle over the moon. He carefully felt his face, and the lack of nose seemed to confirm what he’d already known. He looked at his hands and stared blankly at the unusual three pronged nails protruding from each digit. It was strange and alien.
The dull pain along his side, back, and legs intensified as he sat quietly. The minor exertions sapped his strength. He fell back onto the pillow exhausted but willed himself to stay awake. At least here he felt more like himself, despite the new body. Occasional flashes of the other memories shot through his mind, but he was quickly able to ignore them.
He lay motionless staring at the ceiling, wondering where he was, or better yet, who he was. Wasn’t this what he’d wanted, a chance to experience other worlds, other people, and new experiences? It was, but now he wasn’t certain he was actually prepared for it. The glowing orbs were one thing, but an intelligent life-form held great unknowns. Who was this creature, what did he do on the destroyed ship, and what life did he have here on their world? Tyler could sense and see visions of the creature’s memories, but like the hidden alien inside, he was scared to let them surface.
Go on, take a chance, and experience the life you have taken! The voice of the alien tempted him as his fears grew stronger. He didn’t want to lose himself to the memories, losing what was left of Tyler and becoming the Admiral.
That was it! The memory had come forth unbidden, but he knew he was an Admiral. Like a floodgate opening, the memories of the battle above the moon overran his ability to stop them. Names, faces, places, everything began to intrude. Panic gripped Tyler and he fought to keep the Admiral’s memories at bay. Slowly he pushed them into his subconscious, leaving only his own thoughts and memories. A few scant thoughts about the battle lingered, and Tyler realized that something had gone terribly wrong to cause their crushing defeat. He knew that the ship he’d been on was the best they had. If they had lost that, they were severely crippled.
Tyler felt naked against these other thoughts. So crisp and militaristic, they didn’t mesh with what Tyler thought of as himself. He pushed them aside and began falling back to sleep, the exertions taking what little energy he’d had. He wanted to stay awake, but the exhaustion and pain forced him into the blackness. At least this time he didn’t dream.