She folded her arms and narrowed her left eye at me. “Listen, if we’re gonna make this work we need to get something straight right now. You’re going to be in pain and it’s not going to be fun, but if you’re going to be a complete derk when we do this, I won’t be sticking around. I don’t like being treated like that.”
“You mean jerk,” I responded.
“No. I mean derk. You’re being both a dick and jerk at the same time.”
My head flinched back slightly as I frowned. “Isn’t that the same thing?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s like double the assholeness.”
“That’s another made up word, Paislie. You can’t describe a made up word with another made up word.”
Her lips twitched as she held back her smile. “Who says so?”
With a blank look, I said, “Everyone!”
She rolled her eyes and sat down next to me. “I read through all your medical notes. I need to ask you something.”
My heart dropped as she stared at me with a concerned expression. “Okay. What?”
“Has anyone talked to you about the excessive amount of nerve damage you sustained and the possible lasting effects?”
“That explains the weird tingling sensation.”
“You’ll also have random pain as they heal.” She turned her body to face me. “I want to be one-hundred-percent honest with you, Malcolm. I don’t think anyone has up to this point and I’m not sure if it’s because they were trying to keep you positive or what the reasons are.”
I swallowed hard as my heart felt like it was about to pound out of my chest. “Jesus Christ, tell me, Paislie.”
“Don’t use God’s name in vain like that.”
She was stalling. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. “Please, tell me.”
“You’re going to keep an open mind and not fly off the handle and say something mean?”
I sighed as I looked at her and was held captive by how beautiful her emerald eyes were. “Yes.”
She looked down and fiddled with her hands before looking back at me. “With as much nerve damage as you have, coupled with the knee damage, you could have lasting effects. Such as pain that radiates in your leg, numbness on the side where a good portion of the nerve damage was, or you might not regain full strength of your leg and will need a cane to walk.”
Bile moved into my throat as I stared at her. Not one fucking person had said anything to me like this. Not one damn word.
My hands shook and Paislie noticed right away. “Are you saying I might not ever be able to drive a racecar again?”
“I swear to you, Malcolm, I will do everything in my power to get you back to one hundred percent, but I need you to know we might not be able to get past ninety.
I locked my jaw down and clenched my teeth together as I balled my fists. The anger was moving through my body at warp speed and all I wanted to do was hit something.
Hard.
Paislie saw it immediately and her next response was not one I was expecting.
She stood and then sat down on me, straddling me as her warmth pressed against my dick.
“Malcolm,” she whispered as she pressed her lips to mine and the surge I felt the first time we kissed flowed through my body again. This time it was ten times stronger. My hands gripped onto her hips as I dug my fingers into them, trying to release the anger somewhere.
“Kiss me back, Malcolm. Kiss me!” she demanded against my lips. My hand came up to her neck as I pulled her closer. Our kiss turned rough as I sucked her lip into my mouth and bit down on it while she gasped.
The moment she rocked her hips against me, everything vanished and all I could think about was her . . . sitting on me, pressing her pussy against me and both of us getting worked up.
My grip on her lessened as she ran her tongue along my lips before pulling back and leaning her forehead to mine. Her chest heaved along with mine.
“It was the only thing I could think of to take your mind away from the anger I saw building.”
“It worked,” I barely said as my voice cracked. Her eyes glanced down to where my rock-hard dick was throbbing in my jeans.
She placed her hands on my chest and pushed back as she stood up. “I’m sorry I did that. I don’t think well when I’m under pressure and I acted unprofessionally.”
My head was spinning with what she just told me and how my body wanted more of her. She’s sorry she did that? She acted unprofessionally?
I took the cane in my hand and stood up. Paislie walked behind me in silence as we made our way back to the truck. When we got in, she started it and asked, “Where are we going?”
She acted as if nothing had happened between us, and it pissed me off that it bothered me so much.
“World Cup Café.”
The only thing spoken between us was the driving directions I gave her to get to the café.
Once we ordered, Paislie tried to make small talk, but all I kept hearing in my head was what she said.
“So, what do people do for fun in this town? My friend, Annie, is coming this weekend and wants to hang out.”
My head snapped up as I looked at her. “Bars. There’s a lot of bars. Barnett’s Pub or Crickets to name a few.”
She smiled and looked away.
After paying for the check, we made our way out to the truck. “You can head back to the ranch.”
The drive was pure fucking torture. I was still reeling over the way her body felt against mine, and on top of that, I kept replaying that damn kiss. I wanted to reach over and touch her. Anywhere, I just needed to feel her soft skin anyway I could get it. Her hands held the wheel like she had a death grip on it.
When we finally pulled up to the house, I tried like hell to get out of the truck before she came around to my side.
How could she crawl on top me like that and then act like nothing had happened? I was confused, in pain, and pissed off.
She placed her hand on my arm and I jerked it away as her eyes widened in surprise. “I’m fine.”
Standing frozen in her spot, she watched me as I made my way up the stairs and into the house, slamming the front door behind me.
I’d give anything to have a mindless fucking right about now and was half tempted to call Ashley and see if she was still hanging with that douchebag.
By the time I reached my bedroom, the pain was so bad in my leg, I was sweating. My cock was still throbbing and all I wanted was some kind of relief.
Pulling my phone out, I pulled up her number and sent her a text. If I was lucky, she’d be here within the hour and I could forget the way my body was feeling, both from the pain in my leg and from Paislie’s touch.
After hitting send, I closed my eyes and tried to forget everything.
I PACED BACK AND FORTH in my bedroom as I chewed on my thumbnail. “I can’t believe I did that.”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reached back for a pillow and buried my face and screamed into it. I knew he was getting angry and I should have just let him deal with his emotions, but I used it as an excuse to get closer to him. To feel his lips on mine.
Fucking hell. I practically begged him to kiss me while I rocked my body against his. Then I acted as if it never happened.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I reached for my Kindle and pulled up a book I was reading. It was far from the romance books I usually read. This book was recommended by Elizabeth. The Christian-based book was supposed to help me find my true inner self. The only thing I wanted to find was how not to be attracted to Malcolm.
Two and a half hours had passed since we got back from Waco. I couldn’t take the silent treatment anymore. What we needed was to define the boundaries. Clearly, me jumping on top of the man paying me to help in his recovery was crossing a line.
I stood and dropped my Kindle onto the bed. “This is bullshit.”
Racing into the bathroom, I checked myself in the mirror and pulled my long dark hair up into a ponyta
il and set out to talk to Malcolm.
We were two grown adults who clearly were attracted to one another. We needed to figure out a way to keep that under control while I was here . . . working . . . for him.
As I made my way through the house, I knew he wouldn’t be upstairs. I checked the back porch, the front, the kitchen, game room and both living rooms. Malcolm was nowhere to be found.
I stared down the hallway that led to the master suite. I knew which door was his bedroom because it was damn near straight across from the personal gym we were in this morning, which was ten times better than the gym I belonged to at home.
Pulling in a deep cleansing breath, I headed down the hall. Checking the gym, it was empty. Turning, I passed a long table that had a beautiful sculpture on it, which I had admired this morning. They were in a small niche that was on the wall opposite Malcolm’s bedroom. Lifting my hand, I went to knock when I heard voices.
I held my breath as I leaned in closer. It was a female voice.
Did she just moan?
I slammed my hand over my mouth to keep from throwing up.
Oh. My. God.
He was fucking someone? It felt as if someone had kicked me right in the stomach as I quickly took a few steps back, bumping right into the table. Before I could stop it, the sculpture rocked and tipped right over, smashing against the travertine floor.
Fuck!
I dropped to my knees and started quickly picking up the pieces. Tears pooled in my eyes as I prayed for the strength to keep them at bay. Please, God. Please don’t let him come out here. Please don’t let me see who he is with. How stupid could I be to think this would work? How stupid was I to think I could work him up into a frenzy and then just walk away and he would be totally fine? He was a man. They only thought with their dicks.
The door opened and I trained my eyes onto the broken pieces of clay.
“Paislie, are you okay?”
I tried desperately to keep the sob from escaping, but failed. He reached down and placed his hand on my shoulder, causing me to pull away.
“Don’t touch me!” I cried out a little too loudly. Not wanting to look at him, I reached for another piece and felt my finger slice open.
“Jesus Christ, Paislie, just leave it be and I’ll get someone to clean it up.”
Standing, I tried not to look at him. When I saw the towel wrapped around his waist, my mouth fell open. “I . . . I didn’t . . .”
The overwhelming feeling of hurt fell over my body like a blanket. “Your finger is bleeding,” Malcolm said as he reached for my hand. I shook my head and pulled it back.
“This was a mistake. I’m leaving.”
His eyes widened in fear. “W-what do you mean you’re leaving?”
A single tear fell from my eye as I brushed it away with my fingertips. “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry.”
A woman came walking around the corner and smacked right into me. She was holding a tray full of something that fell to the floor. She was dressed in all white.
“Oh crap! I’m so sorry,” I mumbled as the woman cursed softly.
“Jessica is going to be pissed now. She likes to have the rocks heated up to the right temperature.”
I reached for a rock and yelped as I fell back onto my ass. “What in the hell! Why is that rock hot?” I exclaimed.
“For Mr. Wallace’s massage. Great. You go back there and tell her what you did, because she will be very upset.”
“She already interrupted the zen we had, so don’t worry about it, Natalie. Mr. Wallace has asked us to leave.”
I sat there on the floor looking up at an older woman also dressed in white. She placed her fingers to her temple and let out a long, drawn out moan. Kind of like the one I heard in Malcolm’s . . . bedroom.
Oh holy shit.
Fuck. My. Life.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Her eyes shot down to mine and said, “Trying to find the inner peace. The quiet that makes everything okay. Mr. Wallace was in need of finding it and now you’ve just brought all this negative energy.”
“Oh,” was all I said. By the time I had my wits about me, Natalie had picked everything up that had fallen off the tray and both women were retreating away as they whispered, but loud enough for me to here.
“She ruined the whole environment. Next time I will insist he comes to the spa.”
Staring at them as they walked around the corner, I continued to sit on the floor like an ass.
“Why are you on the floor?”
His voice no longer sounded angry. He seemed relaxed. Yeah . . . I wonder why.
I slowly stood and turned to him. I froze in place as I got a good look at him.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Father in heaven, help me for I am about to sin.
My tongue instinctively ran along my lips as I took in the glorious site in front of me. Malcolm had an amazing body. His chest was broad and his abs looked like something out of magazine. The towel wrapped loosely around his hips, not leaving anything to the imagination.
My lower stomach clenched as my nipples hardened.
“I’m sorry I interrupted your little ménage à trois.”
The smile that spread across his face pissed me off. “What were you doing at my bedroom door?”
The heaviness in my chest made it hard to breathe. No . . . the fact that he stood before me almost naked made it hard for me to breathe.
“I wanted to apologize for my . . . my um . . . um . . .” I couldn’t even think straight with him looking at me the way he was.
“You’re what?”
Finally shaking the thoughts running through my mind of Malcolm taking me up against the wall, I shook my head. “My actions earlier on the bench. It was insensitive of me to lead you on the way I did and my reaction was not at all professional.”
He lifted a brow and stared at me. “You said you were leaving.”
Trying not to focus on the V that dipped down into the towel, I mumbled, “What was that?”
“You said you were leaving.”
The way his blue eyes were looking at me had me so confused . . . like I wasn’t already confused enough, I needed his intense stare to add to it.
“You want me to leave?” I asked.
His face softened. “No. I don’t want you to. But you said you were.”
My lips were dry, but I was afraid to lick them.
My hands came up over my face as I let out a frustrated sigh. “I can’t think straight with you standing in a damn towel!”
Spinning on my heels, I took off as fast as I could for my room. I needed space between Malcolm and myself.
A lot of space.
I COULD HAVE EASILY TOLD Paislie that Jessica and Natalie were there strictly to give me a massage, but I kind of liked the idea that she got what she deserved.
Making my way into the kitchen, I gave Clarisse a wide grin as I slowly made my way over to her and kissed her on the forehead. “Smells really good. What’s for dinner?”
“Fish tacos.”
“Yum.” I glanced around and when I didn’t see her anywhere, I sighed. “Have you seen Paislie?”
Clarisse looked at me like I had grown an extra head. “She didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” My heart dropped.
“She said things weren’t working out; she left a little bit ago, Mr. Wallace.”
All the air from my body escaped in one breath. “S-she left?”
Clarisse nodded. “I thought you knew.”
Shaking my head, I turned and headed out of the kitchen, “No, I didn’t know.”
Grabbing my truck keys, I moved as fast as I could.
“Malcolm! You can’t drive!” she called out. I ignored her and made my way to the truck where I slowly pulled myself in. My truck wasn’t a standard so I could drive fine.
Turning it on, I hit the gas and barreled down the driveway. Hitting the talk button on my wheel, I said, “Call Paislie.”
“Callin
g Paislie.”
My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as I drove faster.
I had to catch her.
I had to find her.
“You’ve reached the voice mailbox of Paislie Pruitt. Please leave—”
I hit the hang-up button as I yelled out, “Fuck!”
Once I got to the end of the driveway, I slammed on the brakes. Paislie’s car was pulled over to the side. Throwing my truck in park, I carefully got out and made my way over to her as fast as I could. My leg was throbbing but I ignored it. My chest tightened with the knowledge that she only made it this far.
Her hands were on the steering wheel with her head rested on them. It was clear she was crying and that about killed me, knowing I was the reason she was so upset. The only thing I could focus on was her and making her understand how sorry I was.
I opened the door to her car and reached in for her. She didn’t even look up as I pulled her to me, and she wrapped her arms around me while crying into my chest.
After a few moments, she pulled back and looked at me. All I saw was sadness in her eyes. I’d never felt my heart physically hurt like it did with the look on her face. I’d give anything to turn back time to just a few hours ago.
“What are you doing to me?” she whispered. “I don’t know how to feel around you and that scares me to death.”
My eyes closed as I said, “I feel the same way.”
Her hands clutched onto my shirt as I looked back into her eyes.
“The only man I’ve ever loved left me.” Her body shook again as tears fell freely once more. “He didn’t want me and I couldn’t understand what I did wrong. I just wanted him to love me. I begged him to love me.”
Lifting my hand, I used my thumb to wipe away her tears. “Paislie,” I spoke as my throat grew thick.
“I swore a long time ago I would never let another man into my heart to hurt me. Then I met you, and everything has been turned upside down. You do things to me . . . things that make me want to give you my very soul.”
My breath caught as her words hit me.
She covered her mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut before dropping her hands and saying, “I would be completely destroyed if I let you in and you hurt me.”