Chapter Six: Wrath of the Gods
Your renown is now such that few foes trouble you, you are hailed in the streets as celebrities, you never want for food, gold, or women; and you command the undying loyalty of your many valorous henchmen. You’re just starting to think maybe you can retire in peace, when one final challenge besets you.
Ioth, the God of secrets, summons you to a secret council meeting. You can refuse of course, but then he’ll probably curse you with something fairly nasty as uber beings are wont to do.
Using mighty magical portals, their own abilities, or whatever nutty things you can come up with (such as jumping to the moon or entering a volcanic frost gate) all of the PCs manage to attend the meeting should they so wish. It’s on an alternate dimension where Ioth has ultimate power so they won’t be able to challenge him unless they can find a way to become Gods themselves.
Ioth
You find yourself on a vast open field of dark energy. A huge table materializes before you and a giant, one-eyed Cyclops wrapped in the ancient clothes of a mummy appears before you. This is Ioth. He says nothing but visions fill your head, terrible visions of Gods at war and universes splitting apart in the mayhem. In the brief second he touches your mind you know what you must do.
You must descend into the underworld and capture Hades who, as always, is responsible for this mess. Next, you must travel to Mount Olympus where the Norse Gods happen to be visiting and beat the crap out of all the famous deities to distract them long enough for Hades’ curse to wear off so they don’t start a God-war that will rip apart many universes killing trillions of innocent dragons and your home plane of existence.
Your reward? Ioth apparently has promised you the honeyed nectar of immortality but you inform him you’ve already got that mate, so he offers to make one of you a God, sort of a lotto 649 sort of thing, as it were.
Naturally, you accept, because of the prospect of saving zillions of innocent lives, not Godhood which has no appeal to you whatsoever.
When the PCs are done bargaining with, fighting, and generally badgering Ioth he waves his hand and banishes them to the underworld (once they’re suitably prepared of course). If anyone asks how they’re supposed to fight Gods, he also gives them a map to a treasure store of magical god-whooping weaponry hidden on their prime material plane. If nobody asks he just lets them go without it in the well-founded belief they know what they’re doing and will find their own way to battle the Gods.
Apparently, Hades has brainwashed the other Gods into temporarily believing they’re at war so they’ll fight and let him seize control of the Godly government and a lot of loot.
The Underworld
Ioth waves his hand bidding you good luck in your minds and you appear in the underworld next to the boatman of the river Styx. If you’re history lessons are correct, you’ll probably need to pay him at least 1 gp to cross and furthermore run into a giant 3-headed dog named Cerberus. The dog is no trouble, but you find yourself saddened at the prospect of giving up one of your beloved gold coins.
The boatman will indeed take people on for one gold coin, but if they make it clear they have a lot of money, he’ll be sure to up the price. Anyone attempting to swim in the river of death or fight the boatman will more than likely instantly die with no saving throw.
Cerebus
In the gloom of the waters ahead you see a bright light and hear a load of snarling. As you round the bend in the passage you see a huge 3-headed dog snarling at you. He appears to be the nastiest, biggest monster you’ve ever faced in your career, including the dragons.
Anyone who fights Cerebus will probably die, but those calling him, “Such a good boy” or throwing him meat become his eternal friends.
Cerebus HP 1,000 RR 20 Damage 1d6x10 Speed: 5 Gold: 0 XP: 1,000 (2,000 for bypassing).
Hades
You climb a massive 300 mile high mountain made of bones but don’t get tired for some reason. At the top, sitting on a throne made of pinky finger-bones, is Hades, Lord of the Dead. He seems to be happy and is rubbing his hands together without noticing you.
Hades cannot be killed unless someone takes the magical spear hidden behind the back of his throne made of pure ivory and stabs him through the heart with it, which will kill him for 1 day and teleport the party back to the surface of their own dimension.
Hades (invulnerable) HP 20 RR 16 Damage: death save for 1 hp second hit kills auto and he claims your soul. Can barter souls back to life if hard pressed. Speed: infinite. Saves: 100% Gold: infinite/none XP: 10,000
Magical Ivory Spear +5 God Killer. Strike in heart RR 18 to kill Hades with one hit. Comes back to life in 1 day.
Magical God-Whooping Weaponry Store
High in the mountains of your own home dimension you find a crate marked “God whooping Weapons” it’s very old but appears to be intact.
Opening the crate is simple as it’s only tied with two pieces of ancient string. Inside are a particle beam laser canon 2d6 damage +4 weapon which can harm Gods, a circular disk of metal similar to Xena’s Chakram which always returns to the master 1d8+4 and can kill Gods, A green glowing sword marked “Death Dart the Deadly” which poisons targets, is a 1d6+5 weapon, and deals +1d6 damage +1 damager per round to a max of 10 unless you use an antidote and can kill Gods. And last, but not least, a magic staff 1d6+4 which can do pretty much any spell, and also effects Gods struck with its power.
All of these magical weapons only kill Gods for 1 day.
Mt. Olympus
You know time is short so you set out for Mount Olympus in the hopes you’ll arrive before they start ripping the universes to shreds.
The PCs will have to find some way to locate Mount Olympus. Typically, it’s a really big mountain and you need some kind of God-like creature to grant you an audience there. The PCs will probably have to contact one of the goddesses somehow by an outrageous offering (or desecration of her temples) and then seduce her to get her to let them teleport up, but you’re free to come up with anything you want.
Mount Olympus is a huge cloudy area, you can see a load of solid gold pillars, several people with winged feet flying around with harps and in chariots, and several tall, glowing giants who must be Gods wending about their business. You spot a huge temple to Zeus which is obviously where you have to go but, just before you reach it, Athena, Artemis, and Aphrodite confront you.
The two women deities attempt to seduce any male members of the party and Artemis turns his huge buffed muscles on the women of the group, or if there aren’t any, pouts.
Resist Seduction RR 20 or mind controlled permanently by the deity. Xp: 2,000 for resisting.
The Temple of Zeus
You see all sorts of wondrous treasures around you, perhaps you should stay and do a bit of looting? But no, time is short before the deities rip the worlds apart in their crazed, Hades-induced wrath, so you decide to storm in on their meeting, or do you?
If the PCs want to loot you can let them get pretty much whatever they’d like, steal fire from the gods, get Pandora’s box, etc.; but then the Gods start fighting and their mission becomes a lot harder. In that case, skip over to the Big Fight, below.
The Meeting Hall
You come into a chamber filled with all sorts of delightful foods, musical instruments playing in the background, and a long table upon which the Gods sit with Zeus and his buddies on one side, Thor, Odin, and the rest drinking and yelling while swearing very loudly on the other, and Lolthh Queen of the Demonwebber pits sitting at the end table and playing hooky with Cupid.
If the PCs are late refer to the fight below, otherwise they can storm in and take out a half dozen Gods before the war starts.
The Big Fight
Hades’ curse appears to have taken effect, all the Gods eyes glaze over and they start hurling thunderbolts, webs, and hammers everywhere. Everything explodes and it’s all you can do to stay alive. You now must do what you were destined to do…whoop some extreme Godly arse.
There are 20 minor Gods to deal with or only 10 if the PCs were careful as above. God HP 1 RR 20 Damage 1d6x10 Skills +10 all Gold: 0 XP: 7,000 each.
Each of the major gods must be defeated in a specific way as outlined below. The Gods fight each other mainly, and only target the PCs if they get in the way or attack them. Their blows rip through space-time, however, so they must be fought and the PCs can’t simply sit around and wait for them to fight it out.
Thor HP 25 RR 18 Damage 2d6x10 Hammer or 1d6 x 10 fist speed: infinite Skills: all +5 Strength based +20 all. Gold: 0 Thor’s hammer +5 +3d6 damage returning giant stone hammer. XP: 8,000
To beat Thor one must beat his legendary strength in a pure physical strength vs. physical strength check. Until this happens, he cannot die.
Zeus HP 20 RR 16 Damage 1d6x10 Lightning bolt or punch/bear hug Gold: 0 Speed: infinite. All skills +20. XP: 9,000
To beat Zeus, King of the Gods, someone must steal his lightning bolts RR 30 theft or he cannot be killed.
Odin the All Father HP 18 RR 17 Damage 1d6x5 glare of doom Gold: 0 Speed: infinite. All skills+15 mental skills: +30. XP: 7,000
To beat Odin the All Father someone must out-riddle the wisest of the Gods. RR 30 or higher mental strength check or similar or outwit the GM’s fiendishly brilliant riddle. His raven perches on your shoulder and grants you infinite wisdom for 1 day if you defeat him.
Lolthh Queen of the Demonwebber Pits. Cannot be killed. Must be found Perception RR 25 and then persuaded to dance RR 25 and then beat in an all-out dance contest RR 30 judged by the Gods and fellow PC’s. 10,000 xp for beating in a dance contest.
Once all the deities are laid to waste except for Lolthh who cackles and escapes, Ioth teleports in and laughs evilly.
“Fools, now I will be the King of the Gods!”
Ioth cannot be killed and each round he is fought, RR 20 to even touch him, he destroys one God killing weapon. The only way to defeat him is to poke out his Cyclops eye which is covered in mummy rags which must be burned off by magical fire.
Lolthh will helpfully inform the PCs of this when they have only 1 god-killing weapon left. Even if they run out they can take a lightning bolt from Zeus or a Hammer from Thor to get the job done.
Once Ioth is taken out all of Olympus is in fire and ruins. The PCs can search about for loot and eventually find a goblet of Godhood power. If only one PC drinks this he becomes a God under the control of the GM, if all of the PC’s drink it they gain superhuman powers granting them 10,000 xp to instantly spend on Godly upgrades to their characters.
The Final Challenge
Eventually one of the PCs finds out the Gods are coming back to life in 1 day because they can’t really be killed. It’s pretty safe to assume they won’t be happy when they wake up and a way off of Olympus must be found. If Aphrodite, Artemis, and Athena are still around they must be found within 24 hours, seduced, and persuaded to teleport the heroes back to earth.
When the PCs finally make it back to earth they use their mighty powers to hide themselves from Zeus and the others until they can cool it over their embarrassing defeat. They each form their own countries and mighty empires, or whatever they’d like, and the campaign ends in victory. The heroes retire as NPC’s under the control of the GM and you can start a new story in a new universe with new heroes, or perhaps the newest apprentices of the old PCs are the new heroes.
However, who knows when an even greater challenge may face these epic heroes and they’ll be called on once again to save the world, the universe, or the multiverse.