Chapter 13
“Tizzy, what if I say, you are wrong on all three counts.” he repeated himself “ I am in not marrying Trisha, I am not going to let you leave, and yes I am in love with you.”
Tizzy could feel the room spinning. She was sure her eyes were playing tricks on her and that her ears were being deceived. Then she felt his hands take hers. And the next minute the tears were once again rolling down her cheeks. She seemed to have been crying a lot this past week. This time she took off her glasses to wipe away the tears. Oh God, she thought, the room is spinning.
“Grant, I ..” she began
Grant had seen the symptoms before. This time, he held the glass of water to her mouth.
“Drink it Tizzy.” He said. Her breathing was not affected and Grant decided a paper bag was not required.
A couple of minutes later, when Tizzy seemed calmer he said “Let’s go Tizzy. Let me take you home.” Supporting her with one hand he led her towards the entrance. Stopping at the reception to pay the bill, he found Roger was by his side.
“I’ll take care of it Grant. You go.” Roger said. They shook hands and Tizzy and Grant walked out.
They drove the whole way in silence. Every few minutes Grant would look at Tizzy seated beside him. He was still not sure of her feelings but he did notice one positive sign. Tizzy no longer had her glasses on. Instead of going to her place, he drove straight to his. He lived in a Penthouse at the city’s edge, and the moment Tizzy saw the view, she knew why. The Sydney Harbour Bridge was dead straight ahead. Every room in the apartment had a water-view. And the vision was breathtaking from each of them, but none so lovely as that from the balcony. So much so that Tizzy refused to leave it, so they sat and talked there. During the course of the night they told each other everything about their lives, they cleared all the misconceptions, and finally at 4 am they finally said the three magical words, I love you. The first thing Grant did after that was to release her hair from the hair band. He never wanted to see it tied that way again. At 4.15 am Grant took out a small box from the pocket in his jacket and asked Tizzy to be his wife. And his beautiful Tizzy with her flyaway hair and shining cobalt blue eyes, said yes, without any hesitation. And this time when their lips met, Tizzy knew, things were as they were meant to be. Her breath seemed to stop, her heart thumped, and the world spun around her, but for the first time, she was glad for all of them.
At 6 in the morning they decided it was too late to sleep. Instead Grant offered to cook the breakfast,
“I can see why you bought this place. The view is worth dying for.” she said
“Well we can keep this place for our private getaway, but once we have kids, I don’t think it will be a safe environment to bring them up in.” he said casually.
‘Kids’ oh hell, she had forgotten. He wanted kids. Suddenly the shine went out of morning. No, she told herself. ‘You can’t do this to Grant. Not your Grant. Even if he stands by you, somewhere a part of him will feel let down. Feel cheated. Tizzy, what were you thinking when you said yes’ she told herself. She had to move fast. She had to think fast. They had talked about everything, but not kids. She should have told him everything before saying yes. How could she have forgotten such a major issue.
“Do you want to eat it on the balcony” Grant asked. He repeated it a minute later but when she still had not heard him, he went and knelt down beside her.
“Tizzy, what’s wrong?” Grant asked
Tizzy looked at him. He was so good looking. He would have such beautiful children. She reached out and hugged him.
“I am sorry, I just realized that I have to go home to feed the dogs.” she said
“Is that all? Phew, I was worried. I’ll drive you home after breakfast, and then if you are up to it, we can go to work. Otherwise I will let you rest and come back for you after my meeting.”
“I feel guilty now. You should have slept.” She said
“Not on your beautiful life, I can catch up on sleep any time.” he pinched her nose
“In that case, I will do as you say and have a bit of rest at home. Would it be alright if I take the morning off?” She asked trying to sound official.
“Since the boss is very happy today, let’s give everyone the afternoon off.” At first Tizzy thought he was joking, then saw that he meant it.
“Grant, don’t say anything at work. I just want a few days to get comfortable with everything myself. Then you can tell everyone.” she pleaded
“You are happy about it, aren’t you Tizzy?” he asked
“Sometimes I think I am going to wake up from my little fairyland and find myself alone again. This time the loneliness is going to hurt.” she replied
“In that case, I will never let you wake up. And to demonstrate the point.” with that he lifted her up in his arm and carried her towards the bedroom. He looked at her face, and instantly knew he had done the wrong thing. He could see the fear written on her face. He could feel her tremble.
“Tizzy, it’s ok, hell I should have known better”. With that, he set her down, but held her hand as they walked to the table.
But for Tizzy her little utopia was gone. Kids, marriage, sex, she may never be able to give him any of these. Grant deserved better, he deserved the lot.
She ate in silence. Grant tried to joke about his cooking to break the ice. And while she smiled a lot, she said comparatively little. She insisted on washing up while he had a shower. When he returned she was once again on the balcony. The balcony she knew she was never going to see again. For finally, she had made the decision, that was truly right.
She was extra lively on the drive home. She told herself, that she must be careful, so that Grant did not guess anything. Once he had seen her safely inside, he took her in his arm. This was going to be her last kiss and she did not want to let him go. It would be so easy for her to be selfish, surely after losing so much in life she had the right to have Grant. But even in those self-absorbed moment she knew, she could never do that to Grant. That would not be love. When Grant left, her eyes lingered on his retreating figure. This would be her last memory of him. He had said he would be back at 11 so they could have lunch together. That meant she had no time to lose.
She waited until the car drove out of sight. And then she raced around. First she packed her suitcase. Then she got the dogs into the car. She also put in her laptop, artwork set, and other essentials. Then she locked the front door. She popped over to the florist and gave Pammy a letter to give Grant when he came at 11am. She was going to leave it beside the door, but then feared it falling into the wrong hands. She told Pammy an emergency had come up and she had to go out of town. She did not know when she would be back and asked her to ring Becky if there was a problem with the house. She also left her email address with Pammy. She asked Pammy to feed the birds and the fish.
By 9.30 am Tizzy had left her suburb well and truly behind. She took the freeway and headed north. At Gosford she tried to check into a motel, only to find that no one would let her keep the dogs with her. Where could she go now? Becky and Roger would alert Grant. She had no family. How she missed one now! Then she told herself, Tizzy, you do have a friend. She stopped at a phone booth and rang Peter’s number.
“Tizzy, my child, I just got a call from Becky. I hear congratulations are due. I am really happy for..” again he was cut short.
“Peter, I am not marrying Grant. I need your help. Can you put me up for a few days? Just until I can sort myself out.”
“Does that mean you want me to ask you to move in?” Peter asked with a laugh “I’ll meet you at home. The address is 15 Bellamy Close, Bellevue Hill”
By 10 am Becky became frantic. She had been trying Tizzy’s phone for over half an hour and constantly got the answering machine. Finally she walked into Grant’s office. She called him out of the meeting that was in progress.
“Grant, did Tizzy say if she was going out. It’s just that she won’t answer the phone.
She could be sleeping, but I am just not getting a good feeling.” Becky whispered. Grant tried ringing and met with the same fate. “Look I’ll just rap up this meeting, and drive over to her place. I was meeting her at 11 anyway.”
Once again, Grant found his concentration was lost. Somehow he got through the meeting. As soon as the last person walked out, he grabbed the car keys and left. Becky was standing by the lift, “I am coming too.”
“Becky I need you here. I need Roger and you to hold the fort.” He said
“Ring me as soon as you are there. Here take these keys. I look after a spare set for her.” She pushed him into the lift
“Thanks, you know my mobile number. Keep me informed.” the lift doors shut on Grant’s words.
Grant drove quickly but safely to Tizzy’s place, thinking all the while that she must have fallen off to sleep. He himself had found his eyes shutting until he had about six cups of black coffee. .
Then he thought of his engagement and a smile broke through. He could not believe his luck at the turn of events. He had been carrying the ring ever since the night he had spent at her place. Then their relationship went on a roller coaster ride, but the ending was worth everything. There was only one small problem, the fear that came into her eye on seeing the bed. Thank God, for Becky. Knowing what was causing the fear, meant he knew how to act when that fear arose. Tizzy was going to share his life and home. He was prepared to wait for everything else. He had been a celibate for over four years now, what are a few years more.
Tizzy looked at the house from where she stood at the gate. The long driveway was edged by blue gums. She was sure a koala balanced on one of the branches.
“Who is that?” a lady spoke into the intercom
“It’s Tizzy. I have come to see, Peter Branson.” Tizzy could feel herself getting nervous.
“Come in Tizzy. Just drive up to the front steps.” the lady said in a friendly voice.
“The gates opened and she drove in. The driveway must have been a good five hundred meters and ended in a circle around the fountain. She parked the car and got out, glad so glad to see Peter’s smiling face and his outstretched hands.
“Betty, this is Tizzy" then addressing the dogs "yes yes I hear you both." Then he turned to Betty and said," and her dogs." They laughed
“Tizzy this is Betty Branson, my wife.” He was beaming
“I am so glad to meet you. I am sorry I misunderstood. I thought Peter lived alone. I hope I am not intruding.” Tizzy felt embarrassed.
“Not at all, my child, Peter has spoken so much about you that I feel I already know you. And we would love the company.” Betty spoke, looking intently at Tizzy.
Peter had gone and let the dogs out and they ran wildly about on the lawn. A butler appeared and took the suitcases. Peter opened the back gate and let the dogs into the yard. He then shut the gate again. “They’ll be safe there.” he told Tizzy.
“Why don’t we take you to your room first and then we can have some morning tea.”
Betty directed Tizzy up the steps.
“It’s the first room to the right. Yes the purple one.” Betty and Peter followed closely
Tizzy entered the room and let out a small gasp. It was the loveliest room she had ever seen. It was as though Betty had recreated another era. The furniture had to be antique. “It’s just beautiful. I think the most beautiful room that I have ever seen.”
Tizzy said with sincerity.
“This was our daughter’s room.” Peter added
“Your daughter, are you sure it’s alright for me to use it. I mean the memories.”
“Tizzy, that’s our daughter, there on that wall.” Betty pointed out
The next moment, Tizzy swayed. Peter and Betty rushed to her.
“Mum, th..hats my m.u.um.” Tizzy stuttered Then she looked at Peter “ You are Grandpa? And Grandee? You are not dead? When did you know? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“The first time I saw you gasping for breath. Your mother had that problem too. Every time I saw you, another piece fit into the puzzle. After leaving your home that evening I went over to Becky’s place. The stories matched up. Tizzy, apart from your eyes and hair, you have inherited another trait from your mother - the desire to run. I had to ensure I did not make you do that too. I came back and rang Betty.” Peter said
“And I flew down straight away. Trizella, there is so much we need to say, to hear, but first won’t you tell us about today. What made you ring Peter?”
Tizzy related everything, to the very last detail.
“You should have trusted Grant. Not every man wants everything. And Grant loves you dearly. I saw that in him at the restaurant.” seeing Tizzy’s raised eyebrows “yes it was all a set up. Becky and Roger were to bring Grant there. Peter had already told them where you both were dining, and I had been told, ‘if you want to see your grandchild, come to the restaurant and a table would be reserved’ She smiled at her husband “At sixty four my husband was quite a match maker.” Then she became serious “Tizzy, we lost a lifetime with Cynthia and you, because she ran. Don’t lose a lifetime with Grant, doing the same thing.”
“But I will be half a wife, is that fair to him. I am not much help to him at work. And I will be even less at home. That’s not what I want for Grant.” Tizzy tried to make them understand how she felt.
“He must be sick with worry. At least let him know that you are safe.” Peter said
“I will let Becky know. Pete..Grandpa, no more match making. Don’t tell them where I am.” She again pleaded
“OK I promise,” he said
Grant looked at the house and knew something was wrong. He rang the bell, but Tizzy did not open the door. Neither did the dogs bark. He hesitated a moment. If he opened the door and the dogs were there, they could very likely pounce on him. Yet if Tizzy had fallen and needed help, he did not have a moment to lose. He turned the key and the door swung open. Before he could step in, Pammy came running across
“Mr. Mallaby. Tizzy left this note for you. I am sorry but I have left a room full of customers. I better rush back. It was nice seeing you. I am Pammy, by the way.”
Before he could utter a word, Pammy was gone.
Grant stood at the door and ripped open the envelope. Tizzy’s note unfolded in his hands.
‘Grant, I should never have said yes. I got carried away with the moment and all that talk of love, that I forgot the two most important things. You deserve your own children. I may never be able to have them. I don’t know if Becky told you, that the two stab wounds were both in my abdomen. I took one in the uterus and the other in my left ovary. Only a miracle can see your dream coming true with me.
Secondly, even you saw me freeze this morning. I have been like that since the attack. A platonic love affair is no basis for a marriage. I won’t do that to you. I won’t let myself, be that selfish.
I am leaving Sydney. I don’t know when I will return, if I ever do. I have taken the last of the files I had to complete, with me, and I will courier them to you when they are ready.
Take care of yourself. I am sorry for running away. It’s a family trait. When the going gets tough, we keep going.
I don’t know how else to say how sorry I am nor do I know how else to end this letter.
Tizzy
While Grant was reading her letter, Becky had opened her email.
‘Becky, I am fine. Tell Grant I have left a letter with the florist. He will know which one. I don’t know when I will be back. Take care of yourselves and that little baby. I would have rung but that detective in you would have traced the call back to me. I could not risk that.
Love Tizzy
After that she had sent Grant an email too. It basically repeated what she had said in the letter, just in case he did not get it.