Aryan had informed Harman on the possibility of Soumya being treated medically. The trend hadn't caught up in India yet but was common in the western countries where people due to various reasons had gender assignment operations. He had been clear to Harman about it being an expensive and thorny path but to Harman it had been a ray of light in his otherwise bleak existence. Maybe if God was smiling they might actually be able to live like man and wife.
The thought alone gave him great joy; he though decided to talk to Soumya regarding this matter. She had every right to reject this notion; after all, she would be the one going under the knife. More so he did not want to make decisions for her. It was time she started doing that for herself. Their ride back home was pleasant and filled with cheerful chatter, something Harman missed immensely.
It was a relief in itself that the family had gone to bed and they quietly made their way to their own bedroom. It hurt Soumya to think that Harman had to resort to such secrecy on her account. Nonetheless, she was happy that she got to spend quality time with him. Having changed she reached the bed to find him deep in thought.
Soumya: "Aap soye nahin?" Concern was evident in her eyes.
Harman: "Tumhara intezaar ker raha tha" he smiled.
He noticed the mention of his mother set her nerves on edge. It only meant that Preeto had successfully implanted fear in Soumya's heart and mind regarding herself. Harman pulled her in his arms settling her on the mattress beside him. Taking her fingers to his lips he kissed them softly.
Harman: "Nahin tumharey baarey main" he informed her making her look at him in surprise.
Soumya: "Koi baat hui hai kiya?" she was terribly afraid now.
Harman: "Nahin baba har baat jo main sochta huun pareshaani ki nahin hoti." He cradled her running his fingers against her smooth cheek. He noticed she had calmed and watched him inquisitively. "Agar aaj main tumsey kuch maangun Soumya..." he looked at her, doubtful on asking her to make such a sacrifice for him.
Soumya: "Harman jee aap mujhey dara rahey hain" her heart started running a mile a minute. Why was he hesitant to finish his thoughts, was it something of grave portent. Taking his hand in her own she tried to move away when he stalled her, gently pulling her back to him.
Harman: "Soumya main chahta huun hum doctor sey tumhara checkup kerwa lein. Aryan keh raha tha chances hain keh tum theek... mera matlab hai... Pata nahin lekin jaana chahiye" he was frustrated now. Why couldn't he just speak his mind to her? Why was it that when she gazed at him through her hazel pools he felt lost, his conversations blank? Soumya could gauge his trepidation and laid his hand on her heart.
Soumya: "Aap jo kehna chahte hain woh bol dijiye main sun rahi hun" she encouraged him and turned her face to him. She was so giving it melted his heart.
Harman: "Soumya ho sakta hai tumharey ilaaj sey hum waisey reh sakein jaisey pati patni rehtey hain."
He broke the news to her gently observing her eyes go wide in astonishment. Did she even know what a sexual relationship pertained to he wondered. He sighed then. Aryan was right this was going to be a very thorny path to tread. Not that his mission to love and then to save her had been a cakewalk. He alone knew the affliction her separation and subsequent disappearance had caused him and he did not want that imposed on either of them again. He simply had to know the extent of her genital malformation only then could they chalk out their next course of action.
She stared him speechless, what did he mean by that. Live like man and wife. Like the way Kalsi lived with her husband. She did not have the slightest inkling of what a full-fledged sexual relationship referred to but her heart beat fast every time Harman touched her. Her cheeks reddened with his intense gazes. Was it possible there was more than just laying with him. Her silence had him perturbed. It was like watching a child figure out how to use the Abacus the first time, and it was killing him.