Madame Pennyweather looked to the heavens as if to say Ana had spoken her thoughts exactly.
“Now,” Ana continued, adjusting her purse on her lap, “I agree with Philip. He trusts them both and he’s not concerned about their relationship. He’s right. Their marks are the most important thing and as long as they keep those up I believe it is best to treat this for what it is…simple young love.”
“Yes, yes, it’s nothing to fret about,” Said Edmond. He was sitting tall in his chair and looking straight at Madame Pennyweather. It was a bit intimidating, to be honest, how his voice filled the room as if they were wasting his time, “Oliver and I have openly and frankly discussed his relationship with Silvia. I know what’s going on with them and I know about his intentions. If it were my other son, I’d agree that distance might be in their best interest, but mind this is Oliver we’re talking about. Oliver has a good head on his shoulders. He and Silvia are involved, certainly, but it’s innocent. It’s puppy love. Let them alone. It may pass in time.”
“Please understand,” Professor Fields offered, “That we really have their best interest in mind.”
“We all have their best interest in mind,” Madame Pennyweather agreed, “Or none of us would be here. I believe we've all had the opportunity to express our concerns. Oliver, Silvia, do either of you have anything to say?”
I shook my head. Oliver was dead silent for about ten seconds before he stood up. “Bollocks,” He told them, “This is complete bollocks and all of you know it.”
And with that, he took my hand and the two of us walked out of the room.
I’d never seen Oliver so angry. He was shaking as we stood in the corridor waiting for his parents. When they emerged, Ana rubbed his arm gently and whispered something to him in Welsh that I couldn’t understand.
He nodded. “It’s not right, Mum,” I heard him say in English, “Why do they have to be involved at all?” He trailed off into Welsh, speaking so quickly that even the few words of the language I might have recognized were a blur.
She rubbed his arm again, “I don’t know, Ollie. You just can’t let it get to you.”
He dropped his cheek down against the top of her head and hugged her. “Thank you, Mum, for being on our side.”
“We’re always on your side,” Edmond put his hand on Ollie’s shoulder and then turned to me, “Headmistress has sent for Alexander. We’d like to take the three of you and your dad out to dinner since we’re all together. We don‘t get this chance often, do we?”
“No, Sir. That’d be lovely.”
“Silvia,” He shook his head, “Don’t call me sir.”
Alex arrived about the same time Daddy quit chatting with the professors. We went to dinner in town. It took a little while, but Alexander was able to break Oliver’s foul mood.
“Professor Lucas is just jealous,” He assured his brother quietly when our parents were not listening, “That mingy bird couldn’t get laid in a home for the blind. And as far as Professor Fields, she could wander into a forest of hammers begging for it and never get nailed.”
Ollie began to laugh. By the time we got back to school, the whole thing was a joke.
Oliver and I tried to cool our public displays of affection from there on, or at least not display them where a teacher could see us. We still had detention from time to time, but the general over-reaction of the staff had waned and soon the other students got tired of our snogging and quit talking about it.
Spring came over Wales it seemed overnight that year. The mounds of snow melted away into mud and then dried to allow the grass to become green once again. The sports teams regrouped and the students began to wander about the quads. Frisbees flew, cricket bats swung, and the ear splitting musical tones of Merlyn attempting to sing “Tore Adore” echoed across the lake. Lance found a girl who was actually shorter than he was and we saw a little less of him.
“He’s pulling an Ollie,” Alexander coined the phrase one rainy Saturday morning when we were sitting together on the sofa in the fifth year common room waiting for Oliver to be released from detention. He’d gotten caught planting boiled eggs under Josh McGuigan’s mattress. “Meets a girl and we only see him at meals and with her there to boot.” He shook his head slowly, “Don’t you think Lance’s new girlfriend looks odd? I’m not trying to be stupid, but is she a dwarf?”
“No, dwarves have limbs disproportionate from their bodies. Hers are proportionate. She’s just very little,” I responded, scrutinizing her from our distance, “She may be a midget. I’m not sure what classifies a midget. I know it’s different for men and women. Lance may be a midget,” I suddenly realized Alex was staring me as if I were a numpty, “Don’t give me that look! I’m being serious! Anyway, they’re absolutely charming.”
“I don’t believe she’s a third year,” He crossed his arms across his chest, “She’s not large enough. If I had to guess I’d say she’s no older than eight.”
I laughed, “She’s well-formed for eight. Anyway, she seems quite nice.”
Alexander looked at me for a quick second and then without a hint of humour in his voice, he said, “No, I heard some of the staff talking. She’s all bad, that one. They kicked her out of the Lollipop Guild for theft, yeah, and she did community service for bitch-slapping the Mayor of Munchkinland.”
I burst out laughing with such force Lance and his new girlfriend turned to look. Alex finally lost the straight face and gave them an involuntary smile. We both waved, which they returned.
“That wasn’t very nice,” I told him, even though I was still laughing.
“When are you going to realise that I’m not nice, Sil?”
“Oh, you’re nice. You just don’t want anybody to know it.”
The school year ended a month after that conversation. Oliver and I had already worked out the details of how we would see each other over the summer. We discussed them again as we stood outside the school waiting for our rides home to arrive.
“Cars, busses, trains…I’ll walk to you if it comes to it,” He promised, “But it won’t. I’ll have to work during the week. Dad makes us work to keep us honest and out of trouble, he says, but that’ll give me money to see you on the weekends, eh? Mum and Dad want you to come visit us, too.”
“I can take the train for that,” I took his hands, “It’s pathetic, but I’ll miss you every day.”
“It’s not pathetic. It makes me feel cool,” He grinned and pushed a stray hair from my eye, “I’ll miss you every day, too, Sil, but I’ll see you every weekend. More if I can make it up there. We’ll have fun. I’ll take you places. Me and you, Sil. It’ll be brill!”
His smile melted me as usual. “Did I ever tell you that you are my favourite person?”
“And you’re mine, Just Silvia Cotton. I’m glad that you’re not hurt or ticked off. You’re just fine,” Oliver kissed me tenderly as my father pulled up to collect me, “I’ll see you on Saturday.”
“See you on Saturday,” I took one last look into those dark eyes before he walked me over to my father’s car.
“Good afternoon, Mister Cotton!” Oliver said brightly, waving an arm.
“Hello, Oliver! How are you?” My father got out of the car with a grin and walked to the back to load in my bags.
“I’m well, Sir,” He helped him stuff my bags in the boot and stepped back as Daddy slammed the lid closed.
“That’s good news!” Daddy gave another rare smile. “Are your parents coming for you?”
“Yes, Sir, a little later.”
“Good then! Silvia, go ahead and say good bye. You can ring him later this evening.” He headed back to the driver’s side of the car, “Good to see you, Oliver.”
“Yes, Sir, you too,” Oliver glanced to see if my father was looking and kissed me again quickly. “I’ll ring you after supper, yeah?”
“OK.”
He opened the door for me and held it until I was in. “I’ll talk to you soon, Sil. Have a brilliant day, Mister Cott
on!”
“Yes, you, too! Give your parents my best!”
“I will!” Oliver closed the door.
I turned in my seat to see him watching us as we drove away. He saw me and raised his hand as if to wave, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood there with his arm stretched up and his hand wide open, almost as if he were reaching. I put my own hand against the glass and twisted to get a better look at him, but we were already around the bend in the drive that took us from Bennington. He was out of view.
It was amazing how extremely alone I suddenly felt.
CHAPTER FOUR
When Oliver and I first met at fifteen, we really were just children. Although charming in most every way, he had been a little too thin and quite gangly. He had turned sixteen the last day in April and after leaving Bennington for the summer, began working in May at a flour mill in Newtown. Spending all his holiday loading bags of flour on to and off of the back of trucks had caused a period of radical physical change for him. He had grown taller and his shoulders had broadened. His arms had doubled in size and he had gained a considerable amount of weight, but it filled him out from almost too skinny to having a lean, muscular physique. His voice had deepened into a man’s and was smooth and gentle when he spoke. Oh, my heavens, he was a beautiful boy! One touch from his long fingers could send chills all across my body.
When we’d meet on the weekends, he’d embrace me and lift me off my feet so that I was dangling in his arms. He’d kiss me like he had been away from me for months and whisper, “It’s just us now, Sil. Me and you.” Every time it was the same. Every time my heart soared. Every time I fell more and more in love with the boy I’d met at school, the one who now was rapidly becoming a man.
Physically speaking, I became a young woman that summer as well. I had my sixteenth birthday on 14 May, just two weeks after the twins. I had always had a large bust for my frame, but I found that none of my bras were fitting properly and that my knickers had become snug around my groin. I thought I was gaining weight until I stood on the scale and discovered that the amount was minute. I had transformed, plain and simple. My waist had narrowed, my breasts had filled out and my bum had turned round overnight. My uniforms for school looked comical.
I told my dad that I needed all new clothes. “I'm sorry, Daddy. Nothing fits,” I explained, sucking in my stomach so my jeans wouldn't cut into me. It was horribly uncomfortable.
He nodded without a word and reached into his pocket for his wallet, “I thought you’d grown. Amazing how you girls do that. It happens overnight, doesn’t it? See what you have that Lucy can use, then get a taxi and go get whatever else you need. Take your sister with you or she’ll pout. Don‘t worry about spending, I trust your judgment.” He handed me his credit card.
“Thank you, Daddy.” I tucked the card into my pocket and began to leave.
“Silvia, wait,” He called. When I turned to face him, he scratched his head. “I just had a thought. Why don’t I toss Ana a bell and see if she’d be willing to take the two of you shopping in Powys? I could send you both down on the train and you could get your school uniforms direct. That way you could both be fitted at the shop. I really have no idea what size your sister is these days, either.” He paused blankly, and then added, “You're both getting so big,” as if we were toddlers having a growth spurt.
I didn't think much of what he said at the time, but in retrospect he must have been remorseful about our growing up. As usual, however, I was only thinking of myself. I loved his idea. Ana and I had become great friends over the summer. I adored her. She'd taken me shopping before once or twice and I'd embraced it since I'd never had a mother with whom to shop. It didn’t hurt, either, that the outing would give me the opportunity to spend some extra time with Oliver. Sometimes my father was brilliant without effort. Life was good. Life was very good.
Lucy and I caught the train south the next morning at seven. She was tired and difficult. “Have a kip!” I finally snapped at her after she practically burst into tears over dropping a pasty.
“I'm not tired!” she swore, but her eyes were pink and puffy.
“Right,” I mumbled, agreeing to avoid any further argument. I was quite relieved when she nodded off five minutes later and left me to my book.
Ana met us at the station, dressed in blue jeans and a rose coloured satin shirt, all full of excitement and smiles. “So this is Lucy!” She held out her arms, “It’s so wonderful to meet you, Darling! Oliver’s told me all about you! He said you were just as lovely as your sister and you are!” She shook her head, still grinning. “Where did the two of you get that gorgeous hair?”
“Both Mum and Dad are gingers,” Lucy said quietly, accepting the hug. “That’s where.”
“Well, it’s beautiful,” Ana rocked her in an embrace. “It’s going to be a wonderful just us girls together on the loose! We’re going to have so much fun it’ll be sick!” She grinned at me, released Lucy and took me into her arms instead. “Hello, Silvia Sweetie!” Now she was rocking me. “I was thrilled that your dad phoned me and asked me to take you both shopping! Ollie and Xan are working until five, but they have something planned for this evening for the four of you, so the whole day should be loads of fun...let's go! Let's go!”
We went to first to be fitted for uniforms as our father had suggested. It was Lucy’s first year at Bennington and I was looking forward to having my sister closer at hand. We had never attended the same school and I saw it as a chance for the two of us to become tighter knit. I’d always loved my sister, but I was five years older and we’d never had the opportunity to be very close since I was away at boarding school by the time she was two. Unlike me, our father had chosen to keep Lucy home until she was eleven before he sent her off to board. I'd only known her after that on occasional weekends and holidays.
“I can’t imagine what my life would’ve been like without Alexander if our parents had decided to split us up,” Oliver told me when I explained my sister’s and my relationship. “Very boring, I imagine. Sad, really. Lonely, for sure. Mind, I hate him sometimes, but at least he’s there for me to hate,” He paused, as if contemplating that, and then asked slowly, “Have you ever hit her?”
I laughed. “Lucy? No!”
“Oh, God!” He was amazed, “You’ve never hauled off and walloped her straight in the face-like?”
“No!”
“Then you have to spend more time with her!” He was so sincere. “If you don’t love-hate your sister and have never set a bruise on her then you don’t know her well enough! Gor blimey! We’re going to remedy this situation immediately! You‘ll be beating the crap out of Lucy by the end of the summer if I have anything to do with it!”
Now knowing the situation in full, Oliver began making it a point to invite Lucy along on some of our day trips when he came up North. Lucy adored him almost as much as I did.
“Is he coming here tonight?” She’d ask on Friday, her eyes twinkling, “I don’t have anything to do tomorrow if he’s going to be here then, either! Can I come along with you two? Do you mind?”
Sometimes I did mind, but I took her along anyway. She was, after all, my sister and I was supposed to want to black her eye every once in a while.
We did all of our shopping that day with Ana, giggling and being silly as girls are known to do when set loose in a department store with their father’s credit card. I didn't go mad with it, though. I was frugal even then when it came to money and could stretch a pound further than dough.
Ana noticed it. As we were standing in the middle of the cosmetic section in a department store she turned to me, “Silvia, you have such lovely skin. You should start taking care of it now. Let me buy you some cream, Sweetie. It's never too early to start moisturising!” She took my chin in her hand and smiled, “And we'll get you a good cleanser as well, nothing harsh. Always make it a point to pamper yourself. It's most likely that nobody else is going to do it for you, so you have to do it for yourself. No matter what, always rememb
er that you deserve it.”
I hung on her every word. Everything I knew about being female I'd learned from magazines. Having my period for the first time was terrifying. It wasn't that I was not aware of what was going on, but it was shocking to wake up and have my knickers and sheets covered in blood. I'd panicked and had my dorm mate go and get the house mother.
She'd been rather mean about it. “Congratulations. You're a woman now. Here,” She tossed a box of cheap maxi pads at me, “Go have a shower and clean up. Then come back and strip your bed. You'll have to do your wash.” Then she'd left me standing there all soaked and in tears.
It was my father's way of helping me out, buying me subscriptions to young girl's magazines and having them sent to my school. So I knew how to care for my hair and I knew how to apply my makeup. It didn't matter what clothes were in fashion as I wore uniforms ninety-five percent of the time. But with all the knowledge those magazines gave me, I knew nothing of what it was to be a woman. From the moment we met, Ana showed me how to smell pretty and be soft from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
That day at the department store she brought me in front of a mirror and stood with me. “Look at yourself, Silvia. You're such a pretty girl, but you can be more.” She brushed my hair back with her fingers, “The trick to being a woman is it's effortless. The trick to being beautiful is that the effort never ends. Just don't ever let anybody see how hard you work for it.” She looked into my eyes through my reflection in the mirror, “Being beautiful is the most powerful position in the world. Part of it is your face. Part of it is your breasts. The most of it is your heart. Never allow anybody to take your heart for granted, especially not my son.”