After Sunset
By: S.A. Waters
Copyright 2016 S.A. Waters
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To Bryson Davis, for without you this story would have never been written. And as you know, and I think you know it best, the greatest tragedy of all is a story left untold.
“I wish you could’ve seen the sunrise the day after you left, because after every sunset is a sunrise, each one more extraordinary than the last. But I’ll never forget the sunrise you missed after you left me with the saddest sunset of all.”
- Reflecting, August 29, 2016
One of the many obscurities that I loved about Kendra was how she seemed to have an opinion on everything. Literally everything. From the country’s budget to the food in the cafeteria - Kendra had something to say, and it was always intelligent. She always swung one way or another; she was never neutral about anything.
“Okay well think about this,” She said while we were driving back to my place. “You just highjack an amphibious car so you could live on a lake or something. Zombies can’t swim, you’d be safe there. And you could still get supplies on land.”
“Where am I supposed to get an amphibious car?” I asked in rebuttal. We were talking about the best plan of action in case of a zombie apocalypse.
“You just have to know the right people. Why do you think I tell you that you need to get out more?”
“So I can meet someone who has an amphibious car only to steal from them in the zombie apocalypse?”
“Exactly!”
“Do you know anyone with an amphibious car?”
“Not yet.” She turned to look at me with a sinister smile on her face, the one she gives me when she has an idea.
“Can you keep your eyes on the damn road, please?!” Sometimes I wish I had my license so my oh-so-distracted best friend didn’t have to drive me everywhere. I never knew what she was truly thinking; I did know that it was never about driving. I rarely wear a seatbelt - they’re uncomfortable and too restricting - but I was always sure to wear one whenever Kendra was driving.
When Kendra swerved into my driveway, the routine continued. We got out of the car with our stuff, said hello to my mom, and headed upstairs to the roof. The air was cooler up there than on the ground. My house overlooked a quiet street, so nothing exciting ever happened. Except sometimes my neighbors would argue, generally over nothing but bills. However, it was also a prime spot to watch the sunset; there were hardly any trees on my street. We always did our homework on the roof. Well, I did my homework and Kendra would talk; on a good day she would finish an assignment.
“Have you looked at any colleges yet?” I asked Kendra as she laid down.
“I told you I’m not going to college,” She replied, picking her head up to look at me with that we’ve discussed this look on her face. “I told you I’m going to travel.”
“You know your parents aren’t letting you do that. They’re going to pull your entire school funding once they realize you’re going to use it to travel.”
“You know I don’t give a shit what my parents think I should do with my life. Their opinions are irrelevant. In the end it’s my life, my decision.”
“You promised me you would at least apply to one in case you changed your mind.”
“Alice, you know I’m not going to do that. College isn’t for me. I can’t be tied down anymore. There are too many things to see.” Never had I met someone so adamant about not wanting to go to college. If Kendra valued anything in life, it was her independence. For as long as I can remember she’s only ever depended on one person: her older brother, Rooker.
Rooker was three years older than Kendra and I, and was one of the most outgoing and outspoken people I knew. He never complained about giving us rides places or having to stay home to make sure we were safe when Kendra’s parents were out of town. He was there for his sister all the time, and the two could never be closer. When he died eight months ago, a part of Kendra died too. I had never seen her, or anyone, so sad. The life in her eyes was absent, the color in her face drained. She didn’t talk to anyone for an entire week; no one could get ahold of her. When I finally saw her again, it was as if she was a completely different person. Kendra vowed to never depend on anyone ever again, and to live every moment Rooker couldn’t.
Secretly, I was hoping Kendra would drop all her plans to travel so she could go to college - that way there was a better chance of maintaining our friendship after graduation.
The sunset colored the sky. A layer of pink on top of the fading blue, and orange-cotton clouds painted our horizon. It amazed us every time; especially for Kendra. I feel like she could describe every sunset she ever saw, because the way she looked at the sky was as if she was seeing it for the first time. Each sunset was special and unique to her. Kendra’s never been in love, but I was convinced she was in love with the sky.
“How could you be doing homework when the world is at work?” She said to me, almost offended.
“I saw it already,” I replied, looking up from my worksheet. “And I’ll see it again tomorrow.”
“Yeah but not one like this. There is literally a show being put up for us and you’re doing math. Pathetic.” Even when the sun set completely, she was still smiling, going on about the beauty of darkness. How dark periods in someone’s life can make the sun coming up so much better. It’s something I’ve heard a million times from a million different people. But hearing it from her made it mean something. It was never about what she said, but the way she said it.
At eight o’clock sharp she was on her way back down my stairs and into her car. I always walked her to her car, and she always left at eight; that’s just the way we did things.
“I’ll see you later, Alice!” She said with a smile on her face.
“Bye!” I replied. “Please drive safely for goodness sakes!” She laughed, and I could feel how hard she rolled her eyes. Kendra was never one for goodbyes. She only says “See you later.” I think after Rooker, she stopped believing in goodbyes. Or rather, maybe she stopped wanting to. Even before his death she wouldn’t say goodbye to anybody, but I really only noticed it when she didn’t say goodbye to him.
Kendra trusted me, to an extent. We were best friends, but even she kept secrets. That was a choice she made, just as it was my choice to tell her everything. Kendra was kind of hypocritical like that; she hated it when people kept things from her, yet she had more secrets than anyone else I knew. Sometimes I’ll ask questions to prod deeper into her, and she’ll say, “It’s irrelevant. Next question.” It makes me so frustrated that I’ll never be able to figure her out - she’s just too complex. But that doesn’t mean I was going to stop trying.
“Have you talked to Landon at all?” I asked her on our drive home from school. “You know, the one in our English class? His grandfather died the other day.”
“Yeah I talked to him about it,” She quickly replied. “Anyways, as I was saying before -“
“Do you believe in Heaven?” I cut her off and she almost jolted. I don’t know whether she was more shocked by my abruptness or the question.
“What?”
“Do you believe that there’s a Heaven? Or an afterlife at all?”
Kendra went quiet.
I knew I was going to hit a rough spot as soon as I asked. Though only now had I realized, sitting in that uncomfortable,
painful silence, that maybe I had gone too far.
“Um,” She finally answered, her voice cracked as she refused to look at me. “I don’t know. I’d like to think so. I don’t think people just live to die - there would be no point. I would like to think Rooker is still around, that he really isn’t gone forever, just from this Earth. I’m going to see him again one day, wherever he is.”
She went quiet again. Her eyes were so focused on the road but I could tell her mind was somewhere else. It was the same look she had when Rooker died: the life in her eyes was absent, the color in her face drained. Kendra was so far gone, and I didn’t know how to bring her back. I turned my head to look out the window; no music on the radio and passing cars becoming background noise. But the loudest thing was Kendra’s silence.
After what seemed like years, we finally arrived at my house. Then she was back to her old self, pretending like nothing ever happened. And when she left at eight o’clock, she said, “See you later!” like always. I had a feeling she was hiding something.
Kendra’s ambition scared me sometimes. I never truly knew what she was thinking, and maybe that was a good thing. But it was because of her thrill-seeking personality that I became more adventurous. She was reckless, which got her into trouble more than a few