“So, the watch? You like it?” she asks.
“No, it’s hideous, and I don’t wear watches.”
“I think it looks nice.”
“What about your bracelet?” I hesitantly ask her.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Oh . . .” I look away. “It’s fancy and expensive,” I add.
“Yeah . . . I feel bad that they spent all that money on it when I won’t really be wearing it. I’ll have to wear it when they’re around once or twice.”
“Why won’t you wear it?”
“Because I already have a favorite bracelet.” She shakes her wrist back and forth, making the charms hit one another.
“Oh. You like mine better?” I can’t hide my stupid smile.
She looks at me with a lightly chastising look. “Of course I do, Hardin.”
I try to hold on to some of the little dignity I have left, but I can’t help but scoop her up by the back of her legs. When she screams, I laugh loudly. I don’t remember ever laughing this way in my entire life.
chapter fifty-three
TESSA
The next morning I wake up early, shower, and with my towel still wrapped around me, quickly start a pot of that elixir of life: coffee. As I watch it brew, an awareness bubbles up in me that I’m a little nervous to see Kimberly. I don’t know what her reaction to Hardin and me getting back together will be. She’s not judgmental, but flipping the situation around, I don’t know what my reaction would be if it were her going through the same thing with Christian. She doesn’t know all of the details, but she knows they’re bad enough for me to keep them from her.
With a steaming mug in hand, I walk over to the large window in the living room. The snow is falling in thick clusters; I wish it would stop already. I hate driving in the snow, and most of the way to Vance is freeway.
“Morning.” Hardin’s voice startles me from the hall.
“Morning.” I smile and take another sip of my coffee. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” I ask him as he wipes the sleep from his eyes.
“Shouldn’t you be dressed?” he retaliates.
I smile and walk past him toward the bedroom to get myself dressed, but he tugs on the towel and pulls it from my body, making me shriek and rush into the room. Hearing footsteps behind me, I lock the door. God knows what will happen if I let him in. My skin flames at the thought, but I don’t have time for that right now.
“Nice, very mature,” he says through the wood.
“I never claimed to be mature.” I smile and pad to the closet, where I decide on a long black skirt and red blouse. Not my most flattering outfit, but it’s my first day back and it’s snowing. After I put light makeup on in the full-length mirror in the closet, all I have left to do is dry my hair. When I open the door, Hardin is nowhere to be found. I quickly half dry my hair before pulling it back into a secure bun.
“Hardin?” I grab my purse and take out my phone to call him.
No answer. Where is he? My heart begins to pound as I walk through the apartment. After a minute, the front door clicks open and he steps inside, covered in snow.
“Where were you? I was getting nervous.”
“Nervous? Of what?” he asks.
“I don’t know, really. That you were hurt or something?” I sound ridiculous.
“I was just scraping and starting your car for you so it’s warm and ready when you get down there.” He shrugs off his jacket and removes his soaked boots, leaving a puddle of slush on the concrete.
I can’t hide my surprise. “Who are you?” I laugh.
“Don’t start that shit or I’ll go back down and slash your tires,” he says.
I roll my eyes and laugh at his empty threat. “Well, thank you.”
“I . . . I can drive you?” His eyes meet mine.
Now I really don’t know who he is. He was polite for the most part yesterday, and now he’s heating my car and offering to drive me to work—not to mention the way he laughed so hard last night that his eyes were brimming with moisture. Honesty really does look good on him.
“. . . or not,” he adds when I take too long to reply.
“I would love it,” I say, and he puts his boots back on.
When we get downstairs and start pulling out of the lot, Hardin remarks, “Good thing your car is such shit, or someone could have stolen it while it was down here running.”
“It is not shit!” I defend, eyeing the small crack in the passenger window. “Anyway, I was thinking next week when classes start back up we can drive to campus together, right? Your classes are around the same times as mine, and on the days I go to Vance, I’ll just take my car and meet you back at home.”
“Okay . . .” He stares ahead out the windshield.
“What?”
“I just wish you’d have told me what classes you were taking.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know . . . maybe I could’ve taken one with you instead of just you and Landon signing up together and becoming eternal study buddies.”
“You’ve already taken French and American Lit, and I didn’t think you’d be interested in World Religion.”
“I’m not,” he huffs.
I know this conversation isn’t going to go anywhere, so when I see the big V on the Vance Building, I’m grateful. The snow has slowed, but Hardin pulls up close to the front door to minimize my exposure to the cold.
“I’ll be here to get you at four,” he says, and I nod before leaning across the small space to kiss him goodbye.
“Thank you for driving me,” I whisper against his lips, touching them once more.
“Mm-hmm . . .” he mumbles, and I pull away.
When I step out of the car, Trevor appears only a few feet away, his black suit speckled with white snow. My stomach churns as he gives me a warm smile.
“Hey, long time no—”
“Tess!” Hardin calls my name and shuts the car door to walk around to my side. Trevor’s eyes go to Hardin, then back to me, and his smile disappears. “You forgot something . . .” Hardin says, handing me a pen.
A pen? I raise my eyebrow.
He nods and wraps his arms around my waist, pressing his lips forcefully against mine. If we weren’t in a parking lot—and I didn’t feel like this was his sick way of marking his territory—I would melt under the aggressive manner with which his tongue parts my lips. When I pull away, his face holds a smug expression. I shiver and rub my hands over my arms. I should have worn a heavier jacket.
“Nice to see you. Trenton, was it?” Hardin says with false sincerity.
I know damn well he knows his name. He’s so rude.
“Uh . . . yeah. Nice to see you, too,” Trevor mumbles and disappears through the sliding doors.
“What the hell was that?” I scowl at Hardin.
“What?” He smirks.
I groan. “You’re such a pig.”
“Stay away from him, Tess. Please,” Hardin commands, kissing me on the forehead to soften his harsh words.
I roll my eyes and stomp inside the building like a child.
“How was your Christmas?” Kimberly asks as I grab a donut and coffee. I probably shouldn’t drink another cup, but Hardin’s caveman act has annoyed me, and the smell of the coffee beans alone calms me.
“It . . .”
Oh, you know, I took Hardin back, then found out he made sex tapes with multiple girls, ruining one of their lives, but then I took him back again. My mother showed up at my apartment and caused a scene, so now she and I aren’t speaking. Hardin’s mother was in town, so we had to pretend we were together, even though we weren’t, which basically brought us back together, and it was smooth sailing until my mother told his mother about him taking my virginity for a bet. Oh, and Christmas? To commemorate that holiday, Hardin beat the shit out of his dad and punched his hand through a glass cabinet. You know, the usual.
“. . . was great. How was yours?” I say, going with the short version.
Kimberly dives into her
amazing Christmas with Christian and his son. The little boy cried when he saw the new bicycle that “Santa” brought him. He had even called Kimberly “Mommy Kim,” which made her heart warm, but made her slightly uncomfortable at the same time. “It’s strange, you know,” she says. “Thinking of myself as someone’s guardian or whatever I am. I’m not married, not even engaged, to Christian, so I don’t know my place with Smith.”
“I think Smith and Christian are both lucky to have you in their lives, whatever title you may have,” I assure her.
“You’re wise beyond your years, Ms. Young.”
She smiles, and I rush to my office after glancing at the clock. By the time lunch comes around, Kimberly’s not at her desk. When the elevator stops at the third floor, I silently scream as Trevor steps into it.
“Hey,” I say, my voice small.
I don’t know why this is so uncomfortable. It’s not like I was dating Trevor or anything. We went on one date and I had a nice time. I enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. That is all.
“How was your break?” he asks, his blue eyes shining under the fluorescent lighting.
I wish people would stop asking me that today. “Nice. Yours?”
“It was nice—had a huge turnout at the shelter downtown, fed over three hundred people.” He beams proudly.
“Wow, three hundred people? That’s incredible.” I smile. He’s so kind, and the tension between us is somewhat diminished.
“It was really great; hopefully next year we’ll have even more resources and we can feed five hundred.” As we both step off the elevator he asks, “Are you going to lunch?”
“Yeah, I was going to walk over to Firehouse, since I didn’t drive myself,” I say, not wanting to discuss Hardin and me at the moment.
“You can ride with me if you want. I’m going to Panera, but I can run you by Firehouse first. You shouldn’t walk in the snow,” he offers politely.
“You know? Panera’s good. I’ll just come with.” I smile, and we head to his car.
The heated seats in his BMW warm me up before we’re even out of the parking lot. At the eatery, Trevor and I stay mostly silent while we order our lunch and sit down at a small table toward the back.
“I’m thinking about moving to Seattle,” Trevor tells me as I dip a cracker into my broccoli soup.
“Really? When?” I ask loudly, trying to speak over the many voices of the lunch crowd.
“March. Christian has offered me a job there—a promotion to head of finance at the new branch—and I’m strongly considering taking it.”
“That’s really great news—congratulations, Trevor!”
He wipes the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Thank you. I would love to run the entire finance department, and even more, I’d love to move to Seattle.”
We talk about Seattle for the rest of the meal, and by the time we finish, all I can think is Why can’t Hardin feel the same about Seattle?
When we get back to Vance, the snow has turned to freezing rain and the two of us rush into the building. I’m shivering by the time we reach the elevator. Trevor offers me his suit jacket, but I quickly decline.
“So you and Hardin are seeing each other again?” he finally asks, a question I had been waiting for.
“Yeah . . . we are working through things.” I chew on my cheek.
“Oh . . . you’re happy, then?” He looks down at me.
I look up at him. “Yeah.”
“Well, I’m happy for you.” He runs his hands over his black hair and I know he’s lying, but I appreciate him not making this any more awkward than it already is. That’s part of his goodness, too.
When we step off of the elevator, Kimberly’s face holds a strange expression. I’m confused by the way she’s looking at Trevor, until I follow her eyes to where Hardin is leaning against the wall.
chapter fifty-four
HARDIN
Really? Really?” I ask, my hands flying into the air dramatically.
Tessa’s mouth falls open, but no words come out as she looks at fucking Trevor, then back to me. Goddammit, Tessa. Anger courses through me and I begin to envision the multiple ways I want to beat the shit out of this boy.
“Thanks for lunch, Tessa. See you later,” Trevor calmly says before walking away.
When I look at Kimberly, she shakes her head in disapproval before grabbing a folder off her desk and leaving us alone. Tessa glares at her friend, and I almost laugh.
Tessa defends herself and walks toward her office. “We just got lunch, Hardin. I can have lunch with whoever I want to. So do not start with me,” she warns.
As soon as we’re both inside, I close and lock her door. “You know how I feel about him.” I lean against the wall.
“You need to be quiet. This is my job.”
“Internship,” I correct her.
“What?” Her eyes open wide.
“You’re not an actual employee, just an intern,” I say.
“So we’re back to this, then?”
“No, I was just stating a fact.” I’m an asshole: another fact.
“Really?” she challenges.
I clench my jaw and stare at my stubborn girl.
“Why are you even here?” she asks me and sits down in her chair behind her desk.
“I came to take you to lunch so you didn’t have to go out in the snow,” I say. “But it seems like you know how to get other guys to help you out.”
“It’s not that big of a deal. We went to eat and came right back. You need to calm down with the jealousy.”
“It’s not jealousy.” Of course it’s jealousy. And fear. But I’m not admitting that.
“We are friends, Hardin. Let it go and come here.”
“No,” I whine.
“Please?” she begs, and I roll my eyes at my lack of self-control as I walk over to her. She leans against her desk and pulls me to stand in front of her. “I only want you, Hardin. I love you and I do not want to be with anyone else, only you.” She stares at me with such intensity that I look away.
“I’m sorry that you don’t like him, but you can’t tell me who I can be friends with.” When she smiles at me, I try to hold on to my anger, but feel it slowly slipping. Damn, is she good.
“I can’t stand him.”
“He’s harmless. Really. Besides, he’s moving to Seattle in March.”
Ice fills my veins, but I try to remain neutral. “He is?” Of course fucking Trevor is moving to Seattle—the place Tessa wants to be. The place I am not moving to and never will. I wonder if she’s thought about going with him? No, she wouldn’t. Would she?
Fuck, I don’t know.
“Yeah, so he won’t be around. Please just leave him alone.” She squeezes my hands.
I look down at her. “Fine; fuck, fine. I won’t touch him.” I sigh. I can’t believe I just agreed to let him get away with trying to kiss her.
“Thank you. I love you so much,” she tells me, her blue-gray eyes staring into mine.
“I’m still mad at him for trying to seduce you. And you for not listening to me.”
“I know, now be quiet . . .” She licks her bottom lip. “Let me set you at ease?” she asks with a shaky voice.
What?
“I . . . I want to show you that I love only you.” Her cheeks flush deep crimson, and her hands move to my belt as she stands on her toes to kiss me.
I am confused, angry—and incredibly turned on. She runs her tongue over my bottom lip. I groan immediately and lift her onto the desk. Her trembling hands fumble with my belt again, this time removing it. I lift the bottom of her ridiculously long skirt up to the tops of her thighs, thankful that she didn’t wear tights today.
“I want you, babe,” she breathes against my neck, wrapping her legs around my waist.
I moan at the way those words sound coming from her full lips, and I’m loving her sudden dominance as she takes control, tugging my jeans down my legs.
“Aren’t you?” I ask, referring
to her period. “Yeah . . . you aren’t.”
She blushes and takes my length into her hand. I hiss, and she smiles while pumping slowly, too slowly.
“Don’t tease me.” I groan and she works her hand faster as she sucks the skin on my neck. If this is her way of making amends to me, I welcome her to fuck up more often. As long as it doesn’t involve her and another guy.
I pull her head back by her hair to look at me. “I want to fuck you.”
She shakes her head no, and a shy smile plays on her lips.
“Yes.”
“We can’t.” She looks toward the door.
“We have before.”
“I mean . . . because of . . . you know.”
“It’s not so bad.” I shrug. It really isn’t as bad as people assume it is.
“Is that . . . normal?”
“Yes. It’s normal,” I decree, and her eyes widen. Despite how shy she’s acting, her pupils are blown out, letting me know how bad she wants it, too. Her hand remains on me, slowly moving, and I spread her legs farther. I tug on the string of her tampon and dispose of it in the trash, then, moving her hand away, roll the condom on.
She climbs down, then bends over the desk, lifting her skirt up over her ass.
Fuck if this isn’t the hottest thing I’ve seen in my entire life, despite the circumstances.
chapter fifty-five
TESSA
Anticipation builds as Hardin pushes the thick material of my skirt farther up my waist.
“Relax, Tess. Shut your mind off—it’s not going to be any different than it usually is,” Hardin promises.
I’m trying to hide my embarrassment as he slides into me; it doesn’t feel any different. Well, if anything, it actually feels better. More daring. Doing something so out of my norm, so taboo, makes it all the more exciting. Hardin’s hand runs down my spine, making me shiver in anticipation. His mood has totally shifted. Given his stance when I came out of the elevator, I had expected him to cause a much bigger scene.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod, moaning in answer.
One of his hands digs into my hip as the other grips my hair, holding me in place. “You feel so good, so good, baby.” His voice is tight as he slowly drags himself in and out of me.