~*~*~
“Come on, Meg!” Zell laughed as he sat soaking in the hot tub. “I want to hear how much butt you kicked while I'm soaking out the stress.”
I sunk into the spa with an “ow ow ow” and then an “ahhh”.
Zell shook his head and sent me a lopsided smile. “Come on, beach bunny. I tell ya it's not that hot.”
“Sure it is.” I glanced his direction. “You just have thicker skin than me.”
Zell threw back his head and laughed. “You got me there!”
I softly smiled as I carefully made my way to the right--and tripped over Zell's feet in the process. “Ack!”
“Wup!” He reached out and guided me to sit on his lap instead of falling over the side of the spa. “You OK?”
I nodded with an exhalation of breath. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Man. That would've hurt,” Zell observed. Then he grinned and adjusted his hold around me. “You wanna stay?”
Flush, near giggle, and a heart flutter--I cleared my throat. “Zell.”
“Please?”
I flushed darker, and I'm sure I raised the temperature of the spa water at least five degrees. While it's tempting... “That wouldn't be a very good idea,” I whispered.
“How come?” Zell's expression screamed 'I dare you.'
I cleared my throat and absently tapped at the water. “Zell.”
He chuckled and kissed my cheek before holding my hand to steady me as I moved off his lap to sit beside him. Then he released my hand and draped his arm behind me along the rim of the spa. “So, what happened? Xu said you were cool as a cucumber. Thomas said you had perfect timing, offering great ideas right when he needed them.”
I absently played with my t-shirt, making it capture the spa-bubbles only to force them out again.
“Come on,” Zell pressed as he nudged my shoulder with a hand. “'Fess up. What happened?”
I sent him a sidelong glance. He met it. “I don't have to embellish, do I?”
“Just give it to me straight, Sally.” And Zell's expression looked surprisingly serious.
Throughout the entire re-telling Zell stayed mostly quiet, nodding here and there with a gentle rub of my shoulders. He grinned when I retold the section where I took on the two guys and won, and he whispered a “good for you” and a “good girl” at certain times after that. Then the story ended and Zell didn't say anything. He just kept lightly rubbing my upper arm.
I looked over at him, watching his profile to try and figure out what he thought that kept him so quiet. I couldn't get it, though. His expression was different. Serious. I hadn't ever seen Zell so serious. He must have looked like this all the time during the fights against Sorceress Ultimecia.
“Zell?” I finally asked. “Is something wrong?”
Zell looked over to meet my gaze. “No. I was just thinking that maybe you shouldn't be Network Admin for the library.”
I blinked and pulled back a little. “What?”
His serious expression remained. “I think you've got what it takes to be a true SeeD. You're cool under pressure. Sure you don't like confrontations, but you don't shirk 'em when they hit you.”
I shook my head, wide-eyed. “I don't want to be a fighting SeeD.”
Zell turned toward me. “But Meg, if you--”
“No,” I insisted while giving another head shake. “If they need me to get involved like I was here, that's what I'll do. But not unless I have to.”
“Sally, hear me out.”
I gave a slight nod, eyes still wide as I watched his face.
“You've always kicked ass on the written exams, your theories and hypotheses on different things were majorly amazing. I know. I remember reading some of them when Selphie needed help grading papers. Then you got over the Fire Cavern and kicked ass again on the field exam. You belong in the field, Sally. It's obvious.”
I lowered my gaze.
“I wouldn't even think it except for what Xu and Thomas said. Thomas usually doesn't think girls should be anywhere near the action, but he said he couldn't have done it without you. And Xu? Xu doesn't like anyone's field exams. She picks 'em apart like a, well, I don't know. All I do know is that she had nothing but good things to say about Thomas' team, especially you.”
I looked up, surprised.
Zell's expression remained serious. “I don't want to piss you off by saying all this, and I'd definitely feel better about the whole thing if you didn't listen to me, but I don't think that's fair to you or to the people Garden helps every day. Just think about it? I'm not saying you have to make any kind of choice right now. I just want you to give it a thought or two.”
I lowered my eyes again.
Zell released a deep breath. “You're not mad, are ya?” I shook my head. He touched my arm. “Come on, Sally. Let's talk about it.”
I raised my gaze to meet his. “Zell, where did this come from?” Confusion tightened my expression. “You said it was okay if I didn't want to fight. You said that each person has their specific talent. You even talked to Headmaster Cid and suggested that he give me the Network Admin job on graduation.”
Zell nodded. “I know.”
I stretched out my arms. “Then why are you saying this now? You said yourself that you didn't want me to go to the field exam because how dangerous it was. You didn't want me to get hurt. Neither did I, because I didn't want you to be miserable. I still don't. But now you're telling me that I should just because I did good on the field exam?” I shook my head. “I'm confused, Zell.”
“Sally.” Zell reached out to tug my ponytail. “It's about helping the people that need it. Garden has always been about that.”
I looked down while giving a slight nod. “I know, and I'll go if they really need me. But not unless they ask. Seeing the misery on your face--I don't want to see that again.”
“Sally, it's not about me.”
I looked up, holding his serious gaze as my throat began to tighten. “Then you have to tell me that you want me out there risking my life; fighting just like you and the others did against--”
“Okay,” Zell interrupted so sharply I twitched, and he was even frowning. “So I don't want you mixed up in all that hell, but it's not about me! You know that!”
Tears brimmed. “It is for me,” I choked out. “I just got you, Zell. Now you want me to risk losing that?” My voice cracked.
“Sally.” The frown vanished and Zell pulled me close. “Sally, come on. Don't cry. You don't hafta choose today. I just wanted you to think about it. That's all.”
“I have,” I cried, “and I don't want to.” I hiccupped. “I don't want you to feel the same way I did each and every time you were going somewhere dangerous. I want to help people, sure, but I don't want to do that to you, Zell. Please don't make me.” I sniffed and hiccupped and sniffed some more.
Zell's arms tightened around me. “Oh man.” He leaned back, smoothing the wet hair from my face as he watched my expression. “I'm sorry, girl. I just thought it was really important to think about is all.”
I met his gaze. “I don't want to think about it anymore. All I see is your face when you told me you were scared.” My throat tightened around the last word, causing yet another hiccup. I pulled him close again, closing my eyes tight as he wrapped his arms around me. “I don't want to think about it anymore.” Seeing his face like that? No, I didn’t want that.
Not ever.