Isaiah motioned to his brothers to start back to the door. As fast as they blew in, they were blowing out. Isaiah stopped at the door and turned back to him. “One thing. I know a thing or two about breakups and heartache. Only this is a first for her. Clearly, she’s not taking it well, but you’re old enough to know better. Do not dick her around and go back and forth, getting her hopes up for no reason—”
“No, fuck that!” A.J. said, turning back in a flash. “He’s done. Look at him.” A.J. stabbed a finger in Sydney’s direction. “Does he look broken up to you?” He motioned to the front room. “Over here enjoying a glass of wine and shit?” He glanced down at Sydney’s phone still in his hand with a look so disgusted, for a moment, Sydney thought he might spit. “He’s probably already talking it up with his new chick. Hell no!” Isaiah placed a cautious hand on his brother’s chest as A.J. continued. “I better not find out you’re sniffing around her again. You don’t want her anymore? That’s fine, Syd. She don’t need your ass. But that’s it. You had your chance. You’re cut off. Done. Consider yourself warned, asshole.”
Without another word, they all turned and walked out. Sydney stood there, feeling an even more profound weight on his already heavy heart. Not that he’d hoped for any kind of reconciliation between him and Emi. No way was that going to happen, but he’d at least held out hope that maybe someday they could enjoy an occasional chat. They had been best friends before anything else happened between them. This just sealed the nail in the coffin. Any kind of relationship with Emi was out of the question now.
It wasn’t until A.J.’s comment about him being on the phone with his new chick that Sydney realized he’d never hung up on Lynn. He brought the phone to his ear, surprised to hear noise on the other end. “Lynni?”
“Holy cow, Sydney.” Lynn gasped. “What’s gonna happen when they find out why you broke things off? Obviously, they still don’t know or that would’ve been so much uglier.”
“She won’t tell them.”
Seeing just how accurate her brother’s nickname really was, Sydney knew she’d never tell them the truth. Not because he thought after what he’d done to her she’d be looking to protect him, but she would want to protect her brothers, especially A.J., from doing something that would land him in jail and possibly ruin his career or even his future if he was angry enough. No doubt that guy had it in him to follow up with his threats. Sydney had seen the irrepressible fire in his eyes, in all three sets of eyes when they’d glared at him. No way would Emi fan those flames.
“Sydney, you left her for their cousin’s widow. I agree. I don’t think Emi would tell them either. If I actually believed you were in love with Cristina, I’d be more worried. You hurting her that way would be a death sentence for you and a life sentence for one or more of Emi’s brothers. Please tell me by doing the honorable thing it isn’t something completely undeniable”—she lowered her voice—“like that you had an incredibly stupid moment of indiscretion, got Cristina pregnant, and now you’re doing right by her and marrying her or something. It’s the only thing I can think of that would explain any of this.”
Sitting back in his chair, Sydney took a deep breath, knowing he should’ve never called Lynn. Of course his luck would be so fucked that her brothers would show up right in the middle of his conversation with her. That she’d hear every word of that confrontation. But who was he kidding? It didn’t matter if he’d waited months to finally return her calls. She knew him too well. She’d never believe he wasn’t still, and probably always would be, hopelessly in love with Emi.
“Listen to me, Lynn. Before I say anything, let me make something perfectly clear, okay? My mind is made up. Things are over between Emi and me. Even her brothers are going to make sure of that now. But I need you to promise me that, no matter what, this never gets back to Emi or anyone that might tell her. Understood?”
As expected, she went silent. He didn’t expect her to immediately agree. But it was a little too quiet on the other end. No usual squealing or laughing kids in the background. No Angel’s voice or kid’s music like earlier, and he wondered for a moment if their call had been dropped. “Lynn?”
“I’m here,” she said.
“It’s so quiet.”
“I’m in the garage. I don’t want anyone interrupting this.”
Squeezing his eyes shut, Sydney got back to what he was saying. “You promise? It’s the only way I’ll tell you because I know you’d never betray me. No matter what.”
“Before I promise, because you’re making me nervous and I’m not sure that I want to, can you just answer two simple yes or no questions for me?”
Lynn knew him too damn well. He knew whatever the questions were she’d likely already figured out a few things. But he was sticking to his guns. He wouldn’t tell even Lynn unless she could absolutely promise to keep this to herself. “Go ahead.”
“Do you still love her?”
“With all my heart,” he said without hesitation.
He heard her breathe a sigh of either relief or frustration, probably a little of both. She was quiet momentarily as if to take that in, before she asked the next question. “Did you cheat on her?”
“No.”
“Then why would you hurt her the way you have?”
“That’s three questions,” he pointed out as he took a deep breath. “And before I can answer that, I need you to promise this stays between us, Lynn. I mean it. This cannot get back to her or anyone that might tell her ever.”
“How can you ask me to promise that, Sydney? Obviously, if you still love her, with all your heart, my keeping my mouth shut could potentially compromise your happiness? I don’t think—”
“Lynn, you have to,” he said firmly. “All I can tell you before you promise is I need for her to hate me.”
“She’d never—”
“Are you gonna promise or not?” He leaned over, wiping his open palm down his face, exasperated because he hadn’t meant to snap at Lynn. He was done hurting people he loved. “I just . . .” he said before taking deep breath. “I need to be able to talk to you about this and know I don’t have to worry about you betraying my trust.”
“You know I’d never do that.”
“Then promise me.”
There was a moment of silence before he heard her inhale. “I promise,” she whispered.
Smiling and feeling bittersweet, Sydney sat back on his sofa because he knew he could trust Lynn to not break her promise. Still, it was little consolation. He swallowed hard, trying to think where the best place to start would be.
Only two things are indestructible, not by time nor distance:
True love & hope. . .
Chapter Twenty-Four
Emilia
One year later
At first, Emi had actually considered not following what she now knew was her dream by not enrolling in culinary school. She’d feared it would be too painful of a reminder of who helped her finally figure it out. But after months of not being able to go a single day without thinking of him anyway, she realized everything would always remind her of him regardless. It seemed almost everything she did, ate, watched on TV, even the songs she heard on the radio, reminded her of Sydney. Music was so bad she’d boycotted listening to music as much as she could those first few months.
It’d taken only a week after he so heartlessly dumped her to realize there was no way she’d be able to continue living in that building. The day she’d seen him in the lobby was the first day she’d left her apartment since the breakup. She quickly hid so he wouldn’t see her, but it was all it took to break her. She’d gone back to her room and drowned her sorrows in alcohol. It was also proof of what she’d thought was impossible. One thing could make her feel more miserable than the way she’d already been feeling: booze.
She hadn’t touched the stuff since. After nearly downing an entire bottle of wine that day, and it still wasn’t numbing the pain, she’d considered taking a handful of sleeping pills. Her s
iblings didn’t know about the pills because she’d never told them, She hadn’t wanted to kill herself, just numb the pain. But in hindsight, she knew now the former could’ve easily happened.
Her siblings hadn’t even needed to know about that. The state they found her in had been alarming enough for them to insist on bringing her home with them. The next day she’d explained about the breakup. Sort of. The most she clarified with her brothers about it was that the quarreling—something she and Sydney had never done—had just gotten to be too much. She could tell they thought she was being overly dramatic about the whole thing. As far as they knew, she’d technically only been with Sydney a few months. She was young, immature, and going through her first breakup with her first real boyfriend.
They had no idea.
Livi was the only one who knew the real truth. Thankfully, she’d had the sense to not tell them what she knew about the breakup before they reached her place that day. All she’d said was the last she’d heard was that Emi and Syd had broken up and Emi had been feeling down. Epic understatement if there ever was one.
Not even when her mother passed had Emi needed anti-depressants to get her through some of the most brutal days. She knew it wasn’t shameful to seek help if you needed it. But she hadn’t told any of her siblings about getting a prescription for them. Not Livi because she’d worry too much, and if her brothers knew, they’d figure out there was more to the breakup than she was telling them. Emi already knew about them paying Sydney a visit the day they found her piss drunk in her apartment. If they knew the real reason, there’d be hell to pay. It was the last thing she needed on top of the permanent heartache she was still dealing with on a daily basis.
Emi was now attending the same culinary school where Sal’s wife Grace had graduated from. They’d also offered her a job at the restaurant. She waited tables, but when they weren’t too busy, they gave her a shot in the kitchen and she’d be eternally grateful to them for it. Between that and school, it kept her mind preoccupied.
For almost the entire year since her breakup with Sydney, she’d managed to avoid being around Sarah too much. The first time Emi had spoken with Sarah after moving back home was beyond awkward and equally painful. It was clear Sarah knew the whole truth. Emi had sort of held out hope she might shed some light or hope on the situation. She did, after all, know Sydney better than anyone else. But all she’d done was express her regret about the breakup and offered a shoulder to cry on if she ever needed one. No thanks.
There was no greater reminder of her biggest heartache than Sarah. It was why, ever since the breakup, Emi avoided attending any of the gatherings where she was certain Sarah would be. Of all the things that were a constant reminder of Sydney, Emi had to admit she was grateful for one—the most annoying—technology. Because of technology, she’d never memorized Sydney’s number. He’d been on speed dial since day one. Though she knew she could easily get his number again if she needed to, deleting all his contact info and blocking him from all her social media on her phone and computer eliminated the biggest risk. She’d given into too many temptations those first few weeks: to call, text, or stalk his online pages. So she’d deleted and removed completely from her life anything that had to do with him.
As the months passed and she hadn’t heard a single thing from him, not even a measly text to ask how she was or say hello, she finally accepted she’d been right. It hurt like hell, but, clearly, she’d been far more into him than he’d ever been into her. She forced herself to stop hoping that he’d eventually call and say he’d been a fool. That like her he’d never ever feel complete again unless they got back together.
The one thing she’d refused to do, and had even snapped at her siblings for trying to suggest it, was go out and meet someone else. She hadn’t the slightest doubt that she’d never feel for anyone what she had—what she still did—for Sydney. She knew he’d moved on, but she wasn’t ready to. Not that she felt in any way that she needed to remain loyal or remotely faithful to him, she just wasn’t ready to tackle that hurdle yet.
The one thing she’d finally agreed on was the possibility of hanging out with Sly. He was still calling and texting her even after all this time. She’d heard some stuff about him seeing someone new, but when she’d spoken to him again a few months ago, he confirmed that they were all just rumors. His complicated schedule was still keeping him from any serious relationships. He also admitted he was still holding out hope she might come around and agree to give things a shot with him. Emi had told him flat out she wasn’t ready for anything serious, at first blaming her new and busy schedule. But just weeks ago, she’d agreed to get together with him when he was in town for dinner and a show—as friends only. That part she’d made perfectly clear.
Emi knew all too well the horrific pain of being led on by someone, only to find out later his heart was somewhere else. She’d never wish that on even her worst enemy, least of all be the one inflicting such pain. Even if in no way the pain could possibly be compared, she’d already sort of done it to Sly once. She was not about to go into even a friendship with the guy without being perfectly honest with him. Maybe once she was over Sydney she could consider more with Sly, but she still wasn’t.
In an effort to not appear that pathetic, she’d left out the part about how long she thought it might be until she was ready: a very long time, if ever. Though her head had finally accepted that her future didn’t include Sydney, her heart had yet to put out that pesky little spark of hope.
Despite her efforts to avoid Sarah, near tragedy had forced Emi to see her. Sarah had been in a car accident this past year. A bad one. She’d been T-boned in an intersection. From what Emi had heard, it was by the grace of God that she’d been alone. Whoever might’ve been in the passenger side with her would’ve likely been killed. But even Sarah had been badly injured. For a frightening moment, they thought she might not make it. Thankfully, she had, but it’d been a long road to recovery. She’d been in the hospital for weeks. Emi had gone to see her twice during that time, and both times she’d dreaded the possibility of running into Sydney. Fortunately, she hadn’t either time. Both times Sarah had also been surrounded by family, and the subject of Sydney hadn’t even been brought up. What she’d dreaded so much, Emi got through unscathed.
Now she had even more to dread. She’d gotten the phone call from Grace a little over a week ago. The way Grace had asked her that day there was no way of getting out of this. As usual, Grace always sounded busy when Emi spoke with her over the phone. She started off by asking if she had the weekend of the twentieth open. Emi had checked, knowing this was work-related.
Emi was free.
Grace asked if she had anything school-related that she might need to tend to that week that might keep her from being able to come in during the week. It was a catering job and she’d need to prepare all week.
Emi didn’t. She was done with this module of her course and was wide open that week.
Grace even made her double-check to make sure her brother didn’t have any games in town she might be attending as she and her siblings often did.
A.J. didn’t. He was on the east coast that entire week.
Grace then asked about certain dishes and techniques needed for a few things she had in mind on a catering job. When Emi told her she had been trained on those techniques but could use the practice, Grace said this would be the perfect opportunity for her to brush up on said techniques.
When it was all said and done and Emi was locked in to be Grace’s personal assistant during this very special catering gig, she let her in on something else.
“Since this is family and we don’t anticipate anyone complaining, I’ll let you lead the job,” she said, sounding excited for Emi. “Don’t worry. I’ll be there the whole time to make sure it all runs smoothly.”
“Lead the job?”
‘Yes!” Grace had said, sounding even more excited. “I hate to admit it, but over the years, I think my husband’s anal retentiven
ess has begun to rub off on me. The last two chefs I’d hoped to groom so that I can take more time off and be home with the kids have been such a disappointment. But I’ve been watching you. You’re a natural, Emilia. I think you can more than handle this. It’s a big job mostly because of the size of it. You know this family and all the Romeros will be there too. Angel wants everyone there.”
Emi couldn’t believe that, after hearing Grace mention her leading the job, the first part of that statement had gone right over her head. Since this is family. Angel wants everyone there?
“Who?” Emi began to ask nervously as Grace said something quickly in Spanish to someone in the background. “Who is this party for?”
“Angel decided last minute to do something bigger than the norm for his and Sarah’s anniversary this year.” Grace asked her to hold and spoke quickly in Spanish again as Emi often heard her speak in the kitchen at the restaurant. “Oh, and before I forget, you can’t say anything to her in case you see her before then. This is a big surprise. It’s why Angel can’t do the catering himself. The whole family is going all out. Poor Angel was so scared when she was in the hospital. So now that she’s better, he wants to celebrate in a big way. I’m so glad you can do this, Emilia. This works out perfectly, but listen. It’s a madhouse here. I gotta go. We’ll talk more about this when you come in.”
With one blow, Grace had just knocked over everything Emi had worked so hard to build back that whole year: her self-worth, the ability to get out of bed, convinced that today would be better than yesterday, and the idea that she could be happy without needing him in her life. Albeit it was all built on about as shaky ground as a house of cards, but she’d at least gotten a few rickety levels up.