Read Aileen Aroon, A Memoir Page 30

early recollections, I have no doubt is considered bythemselves as very amusing and highly respectable.

  The reader will readily admit that the character of "greedy as gluttons"has not been misapplied when I state that it would be an easier task totell what they did _not_ eat, than what they _did_.

  While they partake largely of the common articles of diet in the ship'sstores, they also rather like books, clothes, boots, soap, and corks.They are also partial to lucifer-matches, and consider the edges ofrazors and amputating-knives delicate eating. [Note 1.] As to drink,these animals exhibit the same impartiality. Probably they _do_ preferwines and spirits, but they can nevertheless drink beer with relish, andeven suit themselves to circumstances, and imbibe water, either pure ormixed with soap; and if they cannot obtain wine, they find in ink a verygood substitute. Cockroaches, I should think, are by no means exemptfrom the numerous ills that flesh is heir to, and must at times, likehuman epicures and gourmands, suffer dreadfully from rheums anddyspepsia; for to what else can I attribute their extreme partiality formedicine? "Every man his own doctor," seems to be _their_ motto; andthey appear to attach no other meaning to the word "surgeon" than simplysomething to eat: I speak by experience. As to physic, nothing seems tocome wrong to them. If patients on shore were only half as fond ofpills and draughts, I, for one, should never go to sea. As to powders,they invariably roll themselves bodily in them; and tinctures they sipall day long. Blistering-plaster seems a patent nostrum, which theytake internally, for they managed to use up two ounces of mine in asmany weeks, and I have no doubt it warmed their insides. I one nightleft a dozen blue pills carelessly exposed on my little table; soonafter I had turned in, I observed the box surrounded by them, and beingtoo lazy to get up, I had to submit to see my pills walked off with in avery few minutes by a dozen 'roaches, each one carrying a pill. Ipolitely informed them that there was more than a dose for an adultcockroach in each of these pills; but I rather think they did not heedthe caution, for next morning, the deck of my little cabin was strewedwith the dead and dying, some exhibiting all the symptoms of an advancedstage of mercurial salivation, and some still swallowing little morselsof pill, no doubt on the principle of _similia similibus curantur_, fromwhich I argue that cockroaches are homoeopathists.

  That cockroaches are cowards, no one, I suppose, will think ofdisputing.

  I have seen a gigantic cockroach run away from an ant, under theimpression, I suppose, that the little creature meant to swallow himalive.

  The smaller-sized cockroach differs merely in size and some unimportantparticulars from that just described, and possesses in a less degree allthe vices of his big brother. They, too, are cannibals; but they preferto prey upon the large one, which they kill and eat when they findwounded. For example, one very hot day, I was enjoying the luxury of abath at noon, when a large cockroach alighted in great hurry on the edgeof my bath, and began to drink, without saying "By your leave," or"Good-morning to you."

  Now, being by nature of a kind disposition, I certainly should neverhave refused to allow the creature to quench his thirst in my bath--although I would undoubtedly have killed him afterwards--had he not, inhis hurried flight over me, touched my shoulder with his nasty wings,and left thereon his peculiar perfume.

  This very naturally incensed me, so seizing a book, with aninterjectional remark on his impudence, I struck him to the deck, whenhe lay to all appearance, dead; so, at least, thought a wily little'roach of the small genus, that had been watching the whole affair atthe mouth of his hole, and determined to seize his gigantic relative,and have a feast at his expense; so, with this praiseworthy intention,the imp marched boldly up to him, pausing just one second, as if to makesure that life was extinct; then, seeing no movement or sign of lifeevinced by the giant, he very pompously seized him by the fore-leg, and,turning round, commenced dragging his burden towards a hole, no doubtinwardly chuckling at the anticipation of so glorious a supper.

  Unfortunately for the dwarfs hopes, however, the giant now began torevive from the effects of concussion of the brain, into which state myrough treatment had sent him; and his ideas of his whereabouts beingrather confused, at the same time feeling himself moving, he verynaturally and instinctively began to help himself to follow, by means ofhis disengaged extremities. Being as yet unaware of what had happenedbehind, the heart of the little gentleman in front swelled big withconscious pride and dignity, at the thought of what a strong little'roach he was, and how easily he could drag away his big relative.

  But this new and sudden access of strength began presently to astonishthe little creature itself, for, aided by the giant's movements, itcould now almost run with its burden, and guessing, I suppose, thateverything was not as it ought to be, it peeped over its shoulder tosee. Fancy, if you can, the terror and affright of the pigmy on seeingthe monster creeping stealthily after it. "What had it been doing? Howmadly it had been acting!" Dropping its relative's leg, it turned, andfairly _ran_, helping itself along with its wings, like a barn-door fowlwhose wits have been scared away by fright, and never looked once backtill fairly free from its terrible adventure; and I have no doubt it wasvery glad at having discovered its mistake in time, since otherwise thetables might have been turned, and the supper business reversed.

  So much for cockroaches, and I ought probably to apologise for mydescription of these gentry being so realistic and graphic. If I oughtto, I do.

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  Note 1. It is probable that the edges of razors, etc, are destroyed bya sort of acid deposited there by the cockroaches, similar to that whichexudes from the egg; however, there is no gainsaying the fact.

  CHAPTER TWENTY.

  MY CABIN MATES--CONCLUDED.

  "The spider spreads her web, whether she be In poet's towers, cellar or barn or tree."

  Shelley.

  The spider, however, is the great enemy of the small genus ofcockroaches. These spiders are queer little fellows. They do not builda web for a fly-trap, but merely for a house. For the capture of theirprey, they have a much more ingenious method than any I have ever seen,a process which displays a marvellous degree of ingenuity and clevernesson the part of the spider, and proves that they are not unacquaintedwith some of the laws of mechanics. Having determined to treat himselfto fresh meat, the wary little thing (I forgot to say that the creature,although very small in proportion to the generality of tropical spiders,is rather bigger than our domestic spider, and much stronger) emergesfrom his house, in a corner of the cabin roof, and, having attached oneend of a thread to a beam in the roof, about six inches from thebulkhead, he crawls more than half-way down the bulkhead, and attachingthe thread here again, goes a little further down, and waits.By-and-by, some unwary 'roach crawls along, between the secondattachment of the thread and the spider; instantly the latter rushesfrom his station, describes half a circle round his victim, lets go thesecond attachment of the thread--which has now become entangled aboutthe legs of the 'roach--and, by some peculiar movement, which I do notprofess to understand, the cockroach is swung off the bulkhead, andhangs suspended by the feet in mid-air; and very foolish he looks; so atleast must think the spider, as he coolly stands on the bulkhead quietlywatching the unavailing struggles of the animal which he has so nimblydone for; for Marwood himself could not have done the thing half soneatly. The spider now regains the beam to which the thread isattached, and, sailor-like, slides down the little rope, and approacheshis victim; and first, as its kicking might interfere with the furtherdomestic arrangements of its body, the 'roach is killed, by having ahole eaten out of its head between the eyes. This being accomplished,the next thing is to bring home the butcher-meat; and the manner inwhich this difficult task is performed is nothing less than wonderful.A thread is attached to the lower part of the body of the 'roach; thespider then "shins" up its rope with this thread, and attaches it sohigh that the body is turned upside down; it then hauls on the otherthread, _turns_ the b
ody once more, and again attaches the thread; andthis process is repeated till the dead cockroach is by degrees hoistedup to the beam, and deposited in a corner near the door of its domicile.But the wisdom of the spider is still further shown in what is donenext. It knows very well--so, at least, it would appear--that itssupply of food will soon decay; and being unacquainted with theproperties of salt, it proceeds to enclose the body of the 'roach in aglutinous substance of the form of a chrysalis or air-tight case. Itis, in fact, hermetically sealed, and in this way serves the spider asfood for more than a week. There is at one end a little hole, which is,no doubt, closed up after every meal.

  In my cabin, besides the common earwigs, which were not numerous, andwere seldom seen, I found there were a goodly number of scorpions, noneof which, however, were longer than two inches. I am not aware thatthey did me any particular damage,