The only part of the exam that actually involved Alex doing anything was in the final hour when the professor asked Alex to try and use her gift. At first, Alex didn’t understand what she meant, but then she thought about how Gammy could outwardly share her peace with others. Alex wondered if perhaps one day she would be able to do the same sort of thing. After an hour of trying, it was her who was sweating, with no results to show from her effort.
“Well, it’s something to practise, at least,” Marmaduke said as they finished up. “Something to work towards.”
Alex didn’t even know if it was possible, but she promised she would continue to try and develop it.
When Marmaduke finally released her, Alex had to run to her dorm so that she could get changed for her Equestrian Skills class. By the time she arrived at the stables she was almost late for her lesson, but she was saved by D.C. who had tacked up Fiddle for her already.
“You’re the best,” Alex panted, having sprinted the entire way.
“I know,” D.C. said, handing the reins over.
It was one of the best Equestrian Skills classes yet, with Tayla leading them all out on an end-of-year trail ride through the forest. Alex and D.C. rode side by side, talking and laughing for the entire ride.
When they finally arrived back at the stables and finished seeing to their horses, Alex had one more thing she had to do before going on holidays.
“You go ahead,” she told D.C. “I’ll be along in a moment.”
Her roommate looked at her knowingly. “What’s with you and that pony?”
“He’s just… adorable,” Alex said. “I’ll feel bad if I don’t say goodbye.”
“Fine, fine,” D.C. said, laughing. “I’ll meet you back at the dorm.”
It wasn’t hard for Alex to find Monster, but it was hard to say goodbye to the shaggy little pony. It took a while—and his entire body weight in apples—before he stopped head-butting her and allowed her to leave without following. She would miss the little guy, no matter where she was over the summer. But she promised him that one way or another, she would do her best to find her way back to him.
And Alex always kept her promises.
Forty-Seven
“Well, well, well. Look who’s finally decided to grace us with her presence.”
Alex held her annoyance in check as she walked into the Arena the next afternoon. It was her last class of the day, of the year in fact, and it just had to be Combat.
“I’m on time,” she said, crossing her arms defiantly.
“You weren’t for the rest of the week,” Karter said.
Alex couldn’t believe him. Was he seriously blaming her for being unconscious on one of those days, and in an exam on the other?
“I’m just pulling your leg, Jennings,” he said after a tense moment. “Relax.”
She gaped at him. Was that a smile on his face?
“Queenie!” Sebastian called. “We heard you were in the Med Ward, like, all week. What’d you do? Eat some bad chicken? That’s what everyone’s saying.”
Alex turned around to find her classmates staring at her, waiting for an answer. She didn’t know what to say and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Queenie?”
“It’s your new nickname,” Sebastian said. “Queen of the obstacle course. You totally nailed it last week.”
“All right, enough chitchat,” Karter interrupted, saving Alex from having to respond.
He told them to take a seat and everyone hastened to follow his order.
“It’s been a big year,” Karter said, pacing back and forth in front of them, “but you’ve all made it through. I’m the first to admit I don’t go easy on my Epsilon students, and you’ve each proven your worth, one way or another.”
Alex couldn’t believe it. He was almost… encouraging. Supportive, even. Nothing at all like the drill sergeant she was used to.
“I expect even more from you in the coming year.”
Yay, Alex thought sarcastically, but she was still amazed by his encouragement.
“That said, this year’s not over yet. So, GET OFF YOUR BEHINDS AND GET TO WORK!”
Ah. There he was. Normal Karter was back.
The six of them scurried up from their seats. The boys headed automatically to the opposite side of the Arena where the weapons were kept, but Alex held back, awaiting further instructions.
Karter turned to her, heaving a sigh deep enough to blow storm clouds off course. “The headmaster wants to see you, Jennings.”
She blinked at the unexpected words. “Err—okay. When, sir?”
His eyes narrowed. “When do you think, girl? Use your brain. He wants to see you now, obviously. In the administrator’s office.”
“Oh, right. I’ll—I’ll just go now, then?” she asked, uncertain if he was giving her permission to leave his class or not.
“Go,” he said dismissively.
She hesitated, wondering if she should say something like ‘See you next term’ or ‘Enjoy your summer’ or ‘Thanks for teaching me how to dodge things in your own stupid way’. But in the end, the moment passed and she walked away, glancing back only briefly to look at her classmates one final time. Her eyes caught Declan’s and the big guy gave her an easy grin and a goodbye wave, which she returned.
Just as she began to turn away another set of eyes caught hers, and she became trapped in Kaiden’s searching gaze. After a moment he nodded and gave her a slight smile before he turned back to face his opponent.
Alex walked quickly out of the Arena, ignoring the fact that her heart was beating faster than normal. It was probably just nerves because she was finally going to meet the headmaster. That was all. Nothing else.
Yeah, right.
By the time she reached the Tower she was too distracted by her upcoming meeting to think about anything—or anyone—else. She’d been waiting months to meet Marselle, and there was a lot riding on their conversation—her entire future, really.
Alex ran up the stairs and across the room before knocking on the door and waiting for the muffled invitation to enter. When it came, she straightened her spine and opened the door, fully expecting to see Jarvis with the headmaster. Instead, the only person in the room was—
“Darrius? What are you doing here?”
“Alex,” he said, smiling at her. “It’s good to see you up and about. Are you feeling better?”
“Good as new,” Alex answered, looking around the room and wondering where Jarvis and Marselle were.
“I’m pleased to hear it,” Darrius said. Noticing her distraction, he asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Huh? Oh—sorry, Darrius,” Alex apologised, turning her attention back to him. “I’m just looking for someone.”
Darrius made a show of glancing around. “It doesn’t appear that anyone is here but me, Alex. Are you here to see me?”
She smiled and said, “I wish that was the case, since at least I know I like you. You haven’t been AWOL all year, unlike… some people.”
Darrius’s eyes were full of understanding. “Come and take a walk with me.”
It wasn’t a question, and she frowned slightly in confusion. “I really shouldn’t. I’m supposed to be meeting Headmaster Marselle here. Right now, I thought. But… well, clearly he’s not here. Have you seen him by any chance?”
“I have, as a matter of fact,” Darrius said. “I believe he’s waiting for you in his office. Allow me to escort you there.”
Alex was happy to accept, because even though she had been outside the headmaster’s office twice, she still wasn’t sure what floor it was located on.
“Thanks, Darrius. That’d be great.”
He opened the door for her and led the way up the stairs. Up and up they stepped, until finally the staircase ended at the very top of the Tower.
Darrius led her through the somewhat familiar antechamber and stopped in front of the closed door. He pressed a code into the TCD display beside it and the door sprung open. Alex
was just about to ask how he knew the password to the headmaster’s office when she glanced into the room and her mouth snapped shut.
She followed Darrius inside and looked around the small space. Realisation dawned on her so hard and fast that she almost had to sit down. She covered her reaction by walking unsteadily over to the other side of the room and leaning against the wall.
“It didn’t look like this last time,” she said quietly, looking out the familiar window and down into the endless cloud-filled sky. “During the first Lockdown, I mean. It was more like a boardroom then, with a glass wall looking out over the entire academy. It looked like a headmaster’s office. I guess you get to pick and choose what you want, huh? One of the perks of the job?”
Her throat was clogged with emotion. It took her a moment to realise that she was angry—at him, definitely, but mostly at herself. She felt stupid for not making the connection sooner. It had been so obvious, in hindsight. But she’d been so overwhelmed by the weirdness of everything else that she hadn’t even paused to question his identity. If she’d stopped to think for just a moment, the truth would have been glaringly apparent.
“This is my private study,” Darrius told her simply. “We’re now back in the Library, having walked through a doorway connected by the code I used with the TCD. A password isn’t necessary to reach my other office, which is always accessible to others—except in the case of a Lockdown. That office is used for my more formal duties as Headmaster of Akarnae.”
“All this time?” Alex asked, her voice almost a whisper. “All this time, and you never said anything?”
“I don’t suppose you’d believe me if I told you it was for the best?”
“You lied to me,” she said, ignoring his question.
“I did not,” he said calmly. “I merely withheld certain information.”
“Important information,” she said, her anger rising.
“I don’t believe that to be the case,” he returned, still completely calm despite her darkening mood. “How would knowing my identity have benefited you in any way?”
“You could have helped me get back home,” she answered. “That was all I ever wanted.”
“Which is precisely why I didn’t reveal myself to you,” he said, taking a seat on the edge of the couch that she’d once woken up on many months ago, on her first Library ‘adventure’.
“You had no right to do that.” She felt resentment burning in her chest. “You should have told me.”
“You weren’t ready to leave,” Darrius said, his eyes sad. “Even if you didn’t know it at the time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
“Think, Alex!” he cried, his suddenly loud voice startling her as it echoed around the small room. “Think about what you’ve learned here! All the things you’ve done, the experiences you’ve had, the people you’ve met! None of those things would have happened if you’d known who I was. You would have wanted me to take you straight back to your world, and your time here would have ended before it even began.”
Alex wished she could deny his assumption, but he was probably right. Her anger deflated and she walked over to drop onto the opposite end of the couch. “It still wasn’t your decision to make.”
“Believe it or not, in the end it was entirely up to you,” Darrius told her. “The moment the Library Chose you, your will reigned over mine since I only have the rights of a headmaster—given, but not Chosen. Add to that your natural gift of willpower, and there was your immediate ticket home.”
“What do you mean?” Alex asked, not following.
“I spoke with the librarian after our first meeting,” Darrius said. “Tell me, how did you get out of the chequered room with your friends? Did you just go back the way you’d entered?”
“No,” she answered. “I opened a door in the wall.”
“A door that wasn’t previously there and one that led straight back into the foyer, correct?”
She nodded.
“How did you do it?” he asked.
“I just knew I could,” she answered truthfully. “I was tired; I didn’t want to have to cross the room again. I just wanted to get out of there.”
“So you willed it to happen.”
“I—I guess so,” she agreed. “But I didn’t know what I was doing. It wasn’t deliberate. It just felt… right.”
“What happened the next time you entered the Library?” Darrius asked, before clarifying, “Not for study reasons, of course.”
“I went with Bear and Jordan,” she said, thinking back to the day she’d met Sir Camden. “We were curious about what it meant for me to be Chosen. We wanted to know what the possibilities were, so went looking for an adventure, as weird as that sounds.”
“And did you find it?”
Alex thought over her experience—the fight with the suit of armour, all the doorways leading to far-off places, befriending the knight. “Absolutely.”
“The next time?” he prompted.
“It was just before term started back,” Alex said, “straight after the Gala. I was bored. I wanted a distraction.”
“Did you find one?”
“I found a door back to my world, so yeah, I’d say I was pretty distracted.”
Judging by the look on his face, Darrius hadn’t expected that answer. “You found a door to Freya? Why didn’t you go through?”
“I wasn’t ready to leave,” she said quietly. “And—I don’t know—but it felt like I was still needed here. Like I am still needed here. It’s an inner knowledge, just like how I knew I could open that door in the wall—even if it didn’t make any sense.”
Darrius remained quiet for a moment as he thought over her words. But then Alex cut into the silence.
“Is that why there were so many doorways when Aven held me and D.C. hostage? Did I unconsciously will them into existence?”
“I believe so,” Darrius answered. “It’s also possible that the Library realised you didn’t want him to find what he was searching for, and it sought to stall him.”
“Then why was he able to find the right door in the end?” Alex asked.
“Because he’s Meyarin, and exiled or not he still holds some sway with the Library because of his ancestor.”
“Ancestor?” Alex asked. “What ancestor?”
“Eanraka. The Library’s first Chosen, and Akarnae’s first headmaster,” Darrius said. “The Meyarin royal family are direct descendants. Eanraka’s daughter, Queen Niida, is Aven’s mother.”
Alex opened her mouth to question how that could be possible considering how much time had passed, but then she remembered that a few thousand years was probably just a ripple in time for the Meyarins.
“Those from Eanraka’s bloodline will always be granted access to the Library,” Darrius said. “But when Aven was disinherited, the Library no longer recognised him as a descendant, and that’s why he needed you to allow him permission to enter.”
“Which I did,” Alex muttered unhappily.
“You had little choice in the matter,” Darrius said. “But unfortunately, it means he can now access the Library anytime he wishes.”
“What?” she gasped. “But—but that means… What does that mean?”
“It’s okay, Alex,” Darrius soothed. “He can cause little damage without you. He’s still exiled from Meya, and only one who is Chosen can open that particular doorway for him. I’m not sure if even I would be able to do so, with my Library accessibility more limited than your own. That isn’t to say he hasn’t tried to overpower me and force my hand, but we headmasters are covered by additional protection—including the wards around the academy and the Lockdown protocol. The safety of our students is of the highest priority, and the Library seems to agree.”
“I wondered how that worked,” Alex admitted. “The wards and the Lockdown, I mean.”
“I couldn’t tell you even if I tried,” Darrius said. “I have no idea how it works, just that it does. It’s some kin
d of security system the Library has set up. The Communication Globes are also Library-designed, which is why they work so efficiently, even during the Lockdown—or when a quick getaway is needed from, say, a New Year’s Eve Gala.”
Alex shook her head slightly, feeling a headache coming on.
“I do believe we’ve moved from our original topic,” Darrius said, steering the conversation back around. “We were discussing your ability to influence your Library destination.”
“I never really got to choose where I went,” she protested quickly.
“But you can see now that you had some influence over the events?” Darrius asked, and she nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Then I believe we have the answer you’ve been searching for.”
“The answer…?”
“Didn’t you want to find a way home?” Darrius asked. “Isn’t that why you’ve wanted to meet with me all year?”
“Oh.” Her head felt muddled, but she eventually realised what he was getting at. “Are you saying I could have gone back to my world anytime I wanted? That I could have just… made a doorway appear?”
He nodded and sent her a smile of approval. She found herself wishing he was more irritating, or just downright unpleasant. But despite his deceit—or his ‘withholding of certain information’—she still really liked Darrius. It was hard to stay mad at him, as much as she would like to.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That you’re too nice,” she said. “It’s annoying. I’d very much like to be angry at you, but I can’t because it’s me who I should be angry at. I can’t believe how unobservant I am. Not just with you, but with the Library too. If I’d figured out that I was influencing it, then… well, let’s just say I might have had a lot more fun and a whole heap less heart failure.”
Darrius chuckled lightly and, as always, it was a comforting and peaceful sound.