FADE IN:
INT. DESMOND MANOR LIVING ROOM – AFTERNOON
Another day at Desmond Manor. Nikki’s father DONALD DESMOND, 45, dressed in casual clothes is sitting on the sofa reading his newspaper when–
SLAM! NIKKI DESMOND, 16, a spoiled rich sista rushes into the mansion followed by RUMSFELD, 61, her polished British servant wearing his driving uniform. Both carry lots and lots of shopping bags. Nikki father jumps off the sofa and asks–
DONALD
Nikki, what’s all this?
NIKKI
Bergdorf’s had a sale. Bloomingdale’s had a sale. Versace had a sale and so did Armani, Ferragamo, Gucci–
DONALD
Did you leave something for the other shoppers?
NIKKI
I left the hangers.
NIKKI
Rumsfeld, could you get the rest of the bags out of the car?
RUMSFELD
Yes, Miss Desmond.
Rumsfeld hurries out to the car as Nikki’s Dad inquires–
DONALD
There’s more?
NIKKI
Of course there’s more. They had a sale.
Nikki sets the bags down on the sofa. Her father searches through them and is shocked by the price tags.
DONALD
Nikki, have you seen these price tags? Where’s the sale? On a boat?
NIKKI
You have to pay for quality Dad.
DONALD
You mean I have to pay for quality.
NIKKI
Indirectly.
DONALD
Nikki, do you even know the value of a dollar?
NIKKI
I know millions of yours can buy me anything I want–
DONALD
Just because I make millions of dollars a year doesn’t mean you get to spend it all on clothes–
NIKKI
Well, Dad if I didn’t spend your money on clothes I’d have to give it to poor people.
DONALD
Which one is the bigger waste of money?
NIKKI
Poor people of course. All they’re gonna do is come back for more.
DONALD
Just like you do. These are going back to the store–
NIKKI
But Dad–
DONALD
You probably won’t even wear most of these–
NIKKI
Come on, that’s not true. I’m gonna wear most of them. Once.
DONALD
Maybe you wouldn’t blow through my money if you knew how hard it was to earn your own.
Nikki catches the serious look on her father’s face and clutches her chest.
NIKKI
Oh my God– You actually want me to WORK!
DONALD
Oooh. Work. You act like I’m asking you to kill someone–
NIKKI
But what about my allowance?
DONALD
From now on if you want money to buy stuff get a job.
DONALD
Come on Dad, I’m a Desmond. We don’t work. That’s what we have Mexicans for.
Nikki’s racist comment is heard by–
ROSA 36, The Desmond family maid as she walks by with towels and grimaces before telling Donald–
rosa
You better do something about her–
Nikki’s Dad is offended by her racism and takes action to punish her by demanding–
DONALD
Just for that give me your credit cards.
Nikki’s eyes grow wide.
NIKKI
No! Not my credit cards! They’re my babies!
Donald taps his foot and orders–
DONALD
The Cards Nicole.
Nikki reluctantly reaches into her purse and takes her credit cards out of her wallet.
NIKKI
(Kissing credit cards)
Goodbye Platinum Visa. Goodbye Platinum MasterCard Goodbye Platinum American Express.
DONALD
(Taking credit cards)
Thank you.
Nikki folds her arms and glares at her father.
NIKKI
I just want you to know you’re ruining my life.
DONALD
Third time this month. I must be on a roll.
Nikki storms up the stairs as–
Rumsfeld walks in carrying the rest of the shopping bags. Donald puts on his jacket.
DONALD
You can take those back to the car Rumsfeld. We’re taking them back to the store.
RUMSFELD
I do so enjoy returning merchandise sir. Taking commissions from salesclerks’ just makes my day.
Rumsfeld and Nikki’s father leave as–
DISSOLVE TO:
DAYS LATER
INT. NIKKI’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
A frustrated Nikki sits in the middle of her bed perusing the want ads for jobs as–
SLAM! Nikki’s best friend CANDICE COLLINS 16, storms into the room. Nikki jumps out of bed.
CANDICE
Some best friend you are.
NIKKI
What’d I do to you?
CANDICE
Thanks to your Dad talking to my Dad about your shopping sprees, I, Candice Cameron Collins have to get a job.
NIKKI
Why would he want you to do something crazy like that?
CANDICE
He thinks if I work I’ll get discipline and character like you. What a load of crap.
NIKKI
Like you need those things to succeed in the real world.
Candice puts her hands on her hips and glares at Nikki.
CANDICE
How are you going to fix this? I can’t go without shopping. I mean, I walked by stores today and I didn’t buy anything. I felt like I was going through withdrawal–
NIKKI
Me? I can’t find a thing in these want ads–
Candice grabs Nikki violently and speaks through gritted teeth.
CANDICE
YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS–
The tension builds as–
Rosa walks in with fresh towels. She puts towels on the dresser before she breaks up the fight.
ROSA
Hey, hands off the muchacha. As much we’d all like to, only her Dad gets to beat her.
A scared Nikki backs away as Candice has a meltdown.
CANDICE
I NEED CLOTHES! I NEED SHOPPING! I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA DIE!
Rosa takes charge. She grabs Candice and tells her–
ROSA
Deep breaths little muchacha. It’s going to be all right. The merchandise will still be there tomorrow.
Candice takes deep breaths but continues to have her breakdown.
CANDICE
Right now there are designer clothes not being tried on by me–
Candice balls up into a fetal position on the floor and sucks her thumb. Rosa steps over her and puts towels in the linen closet. Nikki timidly approaches Rosa.
NIKKI
Rosa, how do you get a job?
ROSA
What type of job are you looking for?
NIKKI
Something to do afterschool and the weekends. Preferably something in high fashion so we can get lots of clothes.
Rosa puts on an evil grin.
ROSA
I think I know what type of job you’re looking for…
Nikki’s eager smile turns into–
A frown–
As she and Candice are wearing red polo shirts and khakis on the sales floor of–
INT. OLD RED – AFTERNOON
Techno music plays in a trendy warehouse store for discount fashions. Poor kids shop as Rosa introduces them to their manager XANDER 19, a smiling corporate drone who drank WAY too much of the corporate Kool-Aid. Nikki glares at Rosa and says–
NIKKI
I have something to say to you Rosa.
ROSA
What?
NIKKI
You stink.
ROSA
Well, you wanted a job in high fashion.
NIKKI
This is high fashion? With bins all over the place? This is where clothes go to die.
ROSA
Hey they sell some nice clothes here at Old Red–
CANDICE
Yeah right. My shoes probably cost more than all the merchandise in the entire store–
NIkki
I thought you were gonna help us get good jobs, not one like yours.
ROSA
Hey, I pulled a lot of strings to get you here. Don’t mess this up.
As Rosa leaves, Xander grins and goes into the corporate rhetoric.
XANDER
Yes, here at Old Red you can have a wonderful career in high fashion starting in the entry level position of Junior Sales Associate.
Xander walks Nikki and Candice over to a–
SWEATER DISPLAY
XANDER
We’ll start your training with the presentation of merchandise.
CANDICE
Folding sweaters.
Xander takes a sweater and puts it into a sweater folder.
XANDER
(Folding sweater)
Merchandise presentation is paramount here at Old Red. A polished image of merchandise gives the customer a positive image of product which increases profits and productivity.
NIKKI
Pretty hard to polish–
CANDICE
Shhh! We’re gonna learn how to fold poor people sweaters.
The girls watch as–
XANDER
Now you take the sweater fold it like this, this and this and–
PRESTO! The sweater is folded perfectly and in the blink of an eye.
XANDER
(Placing the sweater on the display)
This then place it on the display. Now you try one.
Candice and Nikki hesitantly reach out to touch the sweaters.
NIKKI
We-we actually have to touch them?
XANDER
Hands-on training with the merchandise will allow you to get a better understanding of our products.
NIKKI
But these are poor people clothes–
XANDER
This is high quality merchandise. A fifty-fifty blend of orlon and acrylic, a hypoallergenic synthetic with the feel of cashmere. Millions of customers have been satisfied purchasing these sweaters.
NIKKI
(Touching the sweater timidly)
It feels slimy.
CANDICE
(Picking up the sweater)
It doesn’t feel so bad.
Candice folds the sweater exactly like Xander showed her and puts it on the display to his approval.
XANDER
Good work Candice. Nicole?
Nikki takes the folder from Candice and–
Struggles to fold the sweater. Xander shows her again but–
Nikki messes up. Xander shows her again. Nikki gets frustrated as she examines the sweater folder–
NIKKI
How do you work this thing?
Xander takes the sweater folder from her and hands it to Candice who smiles back at him.
XANDER
Umm…Maybe you’re not ready for sweaters yet. Let’s try something more your speed.
Xander walks Nikki over to the–
BARGAIN BIN
A big metal mesh bin in the center of the sales floor. Next to it is a big plastic rolling cart filled with multicolored flip-flops.
NIKKI
The bargain bin? You want me to work the bargain bin?
XANDER
I believe this task is more up to your speed. Just fill the bin up to the red line. If you need any help I’ll be over at the sweater table with Candice.
Xander walks over to the sweater display to help Candice. Nikki takes a pair of flip-flops out of the bin and scoffs at them.
NIKKI
Rubber flip-flops. I can’t believe I have to touch trailer park dress shoes to make money for decent clothes–
Nikki holds her breath as she takes plastic shoes and drops them into the bargain bin. She’s working well as–
A customer approaches. She peruses the bin, takes a pair of shoes, and is on her way as–
Xander notices. He rushes over–
XANDER
Nicole, why didn’t you help that customer?
NIKKI
She knew what she wanted–
XANDER
You’re supposed to ask the customer if they need help before they touch any merchandise.
NIKKI
You told me I was supposed to fill the bargain bin–
XANDER
But you’re also supposed to anticipate the customers’ needs. We have to be their eyes and ears before they see or speak on the sales floor.
NIKKI
But–
XANDER
Just be aware of what’s going on the sales floor.
Xander walks back over to Candice. Nikki continues to fill the bargain bin as–
Two of Nikki’s co-workers SANDY and STACY ANN 18, dressed in Old Red polo shirts with name tags on them walk over to the bargain bin with their noses in the air as they look down at Nikki.
SANDY
Hey new girl, gotcha working the bargain bin?
NIKKI
Unfortunately.
STACY ANN
Folding sweaters too hard?
NIKKI
No, they just kept slipping off that plastic board thing–
SANDY
I got folding sweaters on the first day.
STACY ANN
Yeah, so did I. I think she’s retarded.
NIKKI
It’s harder than it looks–
STACY ANN
Well, maybe the bins are more your speed. I mean, only the “special needs” kids from the programs work them around here, but–
NIKKI
I am not a retard!
SANDY
Sure you’re just like us. If that’s what you want us to think.
STACY ANN
Look, just stay away from the big people food like popcorn in the vending machines in the break room. You might just choke on something.
Sandy and Stacy Ann walk away laughing. Nikki feels like crap as she continues to shovel shoes into the bin. Along comes an–
Angry Xander–
XANDER
Nicole do you know what you’re doing wrong?
NIKKI
I’m filling the bin.
XANDER
No, you’ve gone over the red line.
Nikki looks at the bin and notices. She’s about to take shoes off the top when a flabbergasted Xander stops her–
XANDER
Wh-what are you doing?
NIKKI
Taking some off the top so it reaches the red line.
XANDER
You can’t do that.
NIKKI
Why not?
XANDER
I told you it’s all about presentation. It looks sloppy to customers if you just take some shoes off the top and go on to another task.
NIKKI
But–
XANDER
You’re going to have to take all the shoes out of the bin and put them back in up to the red line this time.
Xander walks off. A frustrated Nikki growls–
NIKKI
THIS…STINKS!
Nikki takes shoes out of the bin until…
LATER
INT. DESMOND MANOR – NIGHT
Nikki’s Dad is reading the paper when–
SLAM! An exhausted Nikki and an energized Candice come in. Nikki staggers over to the sofa and buries herself into the cushions; Candice eases into a side chair with a smile on her face. Donald is eager to find out how things went.
donald
Hi girls, how was the first day at work?
CANDICE
It was amazing Mr. De
smond. We learned how to fold sweaters. Next week Xander’s going to let me work checkout–
Nikki’s father notices his daughter sulking. Candice keeps going on.
donald
Nicole, did someone do something to you at work?
CANDICE
Oh they put her on the bargain bin. Worst job in the store. Anyway–
DONALD
Are you okay Nicole?
Nikki pulls herself out of the sofa and lets it all out.
DONALD
No, I’m not all right. I drive a $75,000 Mercedes 500SL, operate a $2000 IBM PC, but I can’t fold a cheap $15 sweater. On top of it I’ve got people at work calling me a retard, a dumb boss on my back–
Donald gives his daughter an indifferent look.
DONALD
Welcome to the world of work Nicole.
NIKKI
So it’s going to be like this all the time?
Donald
Unfortunately.
NIKKI
I only thought it was going to be like this on poor people jobs–
donald
It’s like that in rich people jobs too.
NIKKI
I don’t think I can take much more of this–
donald
Can you take not eating, not being able to pay your bills or being able to shop?
NIKKI
No.
donald
Honey, sometimes we have to put up things we don’t like to get to do the things we like to do.
NIKKI
But we’re rich–
donald
Do you want to stay rich?
NIKKI
So in order to stay rich I have to put up with working a crap job?
donald
Yep.
NIKKI
I always thought you did a job you liked–
donald
Every job has a part of it that no one likes.
NIKKI
Like mine.
donald
You like to shop don’t you?
NIKKI
I like it better when my evenings and weekends aren’t scheduled around touching flip-flops. Come on Dad, give me back my allowance–
donald
I’m sorry but you’re going to tough this one out Nicole.
NIKKI
I know. Discipline, character, and all the crap that will make me a better person tomorrow by ruining my life today.
donald
I’m only doing this because I love you.
NIKKI
Why does love always mean ruining my life?
DONALD
That’s how you know it works.
NIKKI
I’m going to take a bath. See you tomorrow Candice.
Nikki’s Dad pats her on the back before she heads upstairs. Nikki in the same outfit returns–
one month LATER
INT. OLD RED SALES FLOOR – AFTERNOON
To another day of work. A miserable Nikki is placing packages of tube socks in the bargain bin. Indifferent to her work, Nikki doesn’t notice–
Candice rushing over towards her. She puts her hands over Nikki’s eyes–
CANDICE
Guess who?
NIKKI
Candice, I’m not in the mood.
CANDICE
Just play along Grumpy. Close your eyes until I tell you to open them–
Candice turns around to show Nikki–
CANDICE
Okay, open them.
Her new Old Red Ensemble. Nikki doesn’t approve.
NIKKI
Oh no, you’re wearing poor people clothes!
CANDICE
This is the most expensive ensemble in the store.
NIKKI
So how much did all this stuff cost?
CANDICE
Not much. The entire outfit including shoes cost $350.00 after my 50% employee discount.
NIKKI
I don’t think you should be spending money you haven’t earned yet–
CANDICE
Don’t worry. We’re getting paid today–
NIKKI
I don’t think we get paid that much. $9.00 an hour times our afterschool and weekends– still doesn’t come out to $350.00.
CANDICE
Look, I need my clothes fix Nik. If I can’t get it at the high-end stores I’ll take it wherever I can get it.
NIKKI
This stuff is toxic–
CANDICE
Hey, clothes are clothes.
NIKKI
And a rash is a rash. So Xander lets you run around the sales floor out of uniform now?
CANDICE
Greeters can wear whatever they want as long as it’s Old Red merchandise.
NIKKI
He promoted you. God, you are turning into such a drone–
CANDICE
But I’m not the one wearing the red polo shirt and handling tube socks.
Nikki frowns at Candice as she heads over to the front door. A BIG COUNTRY GUY, 35, in overalls, a dress shirt, and big spice tan work boots walks up to Nikki and puts some tube socks in his basket before asking–
BIG COUNTRY GUY
Excuse me miss, do ya’ll got any DRAWS UP IN HERE?
NIKKI
You want me to draw–
BIG COUNTRY GUY
Naw, I want some Draws. Like ya’ll wear under your clothes. My last pair had a line o’deese inna back of em’ Clorox couldn’t clean out–
NIKKI
Spare me the skid mark stories. Men’s Underwear are over here–
A resigned Nikki walks the Big Country Guy over to the–
MEN’S UNDERWEAR DISPLAY
A display of briefs, boxers, thongs, and boxer briefs a few yards away from the bargain bin. Nikki explains the selection as the man smiles eagerly.
NIKKI
Would you like briefs, boxers–
BIG COUNTRY GUY
Ya’ll got any o’ those low rise bikini briefs? The ones in all them colors like red, orange, yellow and lime green?
Nikki shudders picturing the briefs on him.
NIKKI
Are you sure you want those?
BIG COUNTRY GUY
(Grabbing them off the display)
Sure do. I gots me a date tonite and I wants to look real sexy for m’lady. Oh there they are size 32.
Nikki looks at the guy. He’s NOT a 32 waist.
NIKKI
Are you sure you’re a 32? You look like a 44 to me–
BIG COUNTRY GUY
Ump. These’ll fit. Thank you so much little girl.
The Big country guy walks away. Nikki is about to return to the bargain bin when she–
Runs into Xander. He’s not happy.
XANDER
What are you doing over here Nicole?
NIKKI
Serving a customer.
XANDER
But this isn’t your department.
NIKKI
You told me to help the customers if they came up to me–
XANDER
You’re supposed to help customers if they approach the bargain bin. If it’s another department you’re supposed to refer the customer to the person working this department.
NIKKI
It’s two feet away–
XANDER
You’re supposed to get on a talkie and tell the person in that department there’s a customer–
NIKKI
I don’t have a talkie–
XANDER
Oh I forgot. Bargain Bin staff don’t have talkies. It’s too hard for them to learn how to work the controls.
NIKKI
I am not handicapped–
XANDER
Disregard what I just said. Just don’t leave the bargain bin or I’ll have to write you up.
Xander walks away. Nikki broods as she continues putting tube socks in the bargain bin as–
Sandy and Stacey Ann walk over to the bargain bin. Nikki sucks h
er teeth.
SANDY
Stay out of our department new girl.
NIKKI
(Reading name tag)
My name is Nicole …Sandy. Remember it.
STACEY ANN
Well, stay out of our department then Nicole.
NIKKI
Oh, so you work Skid Mark Row?
SANDY
Men’s underwear is a top department around here–
NIKKI
Okay next time I’ll send you the hillbillies–
STACEY ANN
You know you’re not supposed to leave your station–
NIKKI
I had that explained to me with the threat of a writeup. But you’re over here anyway.
STACEY ANN
We just want to explain the policy to you. The unofficial one here at Old Red.
SANDY
And according to those rules you’re on thin ice.
NIKKI
Who writes those rules?
STACEY ANN
We do. We can make or break careers here at Old Red.
NIKKI
Career? And you think I’m special needs.
SANDY
Look, if you work here for two years they put you in the management training program. $25,000 a year. You high school kids aren’t gonna mess that up for us–
STACY ANN
Shhh…! Don’t let her know about the training program. We need to finish getting our GEDs first–
NIKKI
A whole $25,000 a year? Wow. Only a poor person would think an afterschool job is going to turn into a career–
SANDY
WHO YOU CALLING POOR–
NIKKI
If it walks like a poor person, looks like a poor person, and wears cheap clothes like a poor person then it must be you.
STACEY ANN
WHY YOU–
Stacey Ann lunges at Nikki–
Who trips her into the bargain bin. A pissed off Sandy grabs at her–
And falls into the bargain bin. Nikki laughs out and tells the crowd forming–
NIKKI
Hey, idiots two for one over here at the bargain bin!
Nikki is having a good time until–
Xander walks over. He is not amused. He grabs her shoulder–
XANDER
Come with me.
Nikki follows Xander into a–
BACK OFFICE
A tight room stuffed with schedules on bulletin boards, return merchandise in boxes around a skanky metal desk and plastic office chairs.
XANDER
Have a seat Nicole.
Xander has a seat behind his desk. Nikki decides to stand.
XANDER
It’s clear to me you’re just not Old Red material. I’m sorry but I’ going to have to let you go.
Nikki isn’t fazed about being fired.
NIKKI
No, some of us can’t become corporate drones.
An offended Xander continues on in corporate spiel–
XANDER
Well, we corporate drones have to follow corporate policy regarding insubordination. Now I’ve cut you a check for the past month–
Nikki takes the check and is leaving as–
A concerned Candice walks into the doorway.
CANDICE
What’s going on here Xander?
XANDER
Ms. Desmond is being terminated Candice. She’s just not Old Red material.
CANDICE
Well, if Nikki’s not working here, then I’m not working here either. I quit.
Xander lays down Old Red policy on his star employee.
XANDER
Not so fast Ms. Collins. You still owe us $175.00 for the clothing you purchased on the corporate account.
CANDICE
How do I owe you? I bought this outfit with my discount–
XANDER
That outfit you’re wearing was charged to your employee expense account. You didn’t make enough salary over the past month to cover the complete outfit.
Candice gets scared.
CANDICE
I–I don’t have any money–
Xander uses his position to intimidate Candice.
XANDER
I can call your parents and we can discuss a payment plan with our parent company the Viacorp collection agency.
Candice is nervous. Nikki looks at her paycheck. It’s just the same amount. She signs the back of her paycheck and hands it back to Xander.
NIKKI
That ought to cover it. C’mon Candice.
Nikki and Candice leave the store and head back to–
INT. NIKKI’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON
Where a brooding Nikki peruses the want ads. A curious Candice peers up from Nikki’s TV to inquires–
CANDICE
Hey, why’d you pay my debt?
NIKKI
I got you into this mess. I had to get you out.
CANDICE
I’m gonna pay you back–
NIKKI
Don’t worry about it.
CANDICE
Thanks for having my back Nik. So what did you learn from this little one-month debacle?
NIKKI
Discipline, character, and all the crap that’s going to make me a better person tomorrow by ruining my life today. Oh, and that work sucks.
Candice is about to say something when–
SLAM! Nikki’s father walks into the bedroom. Both girls jump up.
NIKKI
Oh my God– You’re finally gonna get the belt to me!
Candice bolts for the door–
CANDICE
I gotta go Nik. I can’t stand violence–
Nikki’s father grabs Candice and smiles as he tells her–
DONALD
Don’t worry Candice. Nobody is getting beat today.
Candice lets out a sigh of relief. Nikki is still scared.
NIKKI
Dad I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get fired–
DONALD
It’s okay Nikki. I understand. No one actually does well in their first job. You just have to show commitment towards–
NIKKI
Oh great. Here comes a story from the olden days of the 1970’s–
DONALD
Okay, okay, no story. But it looks like you learned your lesson.
NIKKI
What? I have no money, no job, no credit cards, and no cool clothes. I’m right back where I started from–
DONALD
You thought of someone else other than yourself. That means a lot to me.
NIKKI
I thought I was supposed to learn the value of a dollar–
DONALD
Candice’s dignity is worth more than $150.00 to you I bet?
NIKKI
Yeah, Yeah, I know. Discipline and character. That’s not going to buy us much at Bergdorf’s.
Donald reaches into his pocket to hand Nikki her–
DONALD
Maybe these will.
NIKKI
My Cards! Oh thank you Dad.
DONALD
You’re still going to have to get an afterschool job to help pay them.
NIKKI
Where am I gonna find a job? These want ads are crazy–
DONALD
Well, the community center needs volunteers. You help out there afterschool and I’ll give you back your allowance.
NIKKI
Works for me.
Everyone becomes concerned as-
Candice frantically scratches herself.
DONALD
What’s wrong Candice?
CANDICE
These clothes feel are starting to feel funny– OH MY GOD!–
Candice rolls back the sleeve of her sweater to reveal a–
RED RASH!
Nikki lets out a laugh as–
NIKKI
Well, that’s what happens when you don’t pay for quality.
Candice ruins out the ro
om screaming on the–
FADE OUT:
THE END
ALL ABOUT NIKKI
EPISODE 1.09
“ALL ABOUT FASHION”