Read All by Myself, Alone Page 5


  “My grandfather was one of the first to collect modern art,” Dana said. “Emily Post referred to it as ‘frightful things in vogue today with flamboyant colors, grotesque triangular figures and designs, that aside from novelty, are in bad taste.’ My grandmother tried to make him throw them out. Thank God he didn’t. They’re worth millions today.”

  Yvonne added, “Well, if we’re going to spruce up on our manners, let’s start with that lecture. Maybe there’ll be a section on the proper way to exit one marriage and enter another.”

  They all laughed. Valerie signaled the waiter and pointed to their almost empty glasses. They were quickly refilled.

  “Okay,” Dana said. “What other ones are they doing today?”

  “There’s the Shakespeare lecture,” Yvonne volunteered.

  “I saw that Professor Longworth was at dinner with you,” Valerie said. “What is he like?”

  “No barrel of laughs,” Yvonne told her. “He has a habit of raising his eyebrows. I guess that’s why his forehead is so wrinkled.”

  “How about Celia Kilbride?” Dana asked. “She’s the one who is accused of being part of that hedge fund swindle. I’m surprised they invited her on this ship. I mean the way the Captain went on about everything being the best of the best. Why would they invite a crook to be here?”

  “I read she claimed she was a victim too,” Yvonne said. “And I know she’s considered to be a very knowledgeable gemologist.”

  “I should have had her look at my engagement ring from Herb,” Valerie laughed. “It had been his grandmother’s. If you squinted, you might get a glimpse of the diamond. When I got the divorce, I gave it back to him. I said, ‘I wouldn’t want to deprive some lucky woman of the chance to be adorned with this.’ ”

  As they laughed, Yvonne thought both of them had married classy guys the first time, and they married big money the second time. I’ve got to keep my eyes open. Or better than that . . .

  After they each took long sips from their glasses, Yvonne said, “I’ve got a mission for you two.”

  They looked at her expectantly. “Both of you dropped the guys you started with,” she said. “Did you have another lined up?”

  “I did,” Valerie confirmed.

  “So did I,” Dana agreed.

  “Well frankly, whatever existed between Roger and me is long since over. So keep your eyes open.”

  “Now, back to the lectures. So what’s our schedule?” Valerie asked.

  Dana answered. “I’m in the mood to be entertained. Let’s go to all three: Emily Post, Shakespeare, and Celia Kilbride.”

  “To entertainment,” Valerie said, as they clinked their glasses together.

  20

  Anna DeMille did not like to remember that she had started to drink the water in her finger bowl before she saw Ted Cavanaugh dip his fingers into his. She was pretty sure that no one had noticed, but the fact that someone might have continued to annoy her. That was why she opted to go to the lecture on etiquette. Maybe I can pick up some tips, she thought, no harm in that. And I can see that a lot of the people on this ship are pretty ritzy.

  There was also the hope that Devon Michaelson might just happen to be there.

  She waited to take a seat until the last moment before the lecture began, just in case he walked in and they could sit together.

  That didn’t happen. She did notice that Ted Cavanaugh, Professor Longworth and the Meehans were seated near the front.

  I can understand why the Meehans might be here, she thought. But why would Cavanaugh and Longworth show up? she wondered.

  Anna settled in next to an elderly gentleman who seemed to be alone. She was about to introduce herself and tell him her Cecil B. DeMille story, when the lecturer walked to the podium.

  Julia Witherspoon was a severe-looking woman of about seventy. After introducing herself, she explained that she usually only spoke about dining etiquette. But on this voyage, it seemed appropriate to review the quintessential good taste of a century ago.

  As Witherspoon began to speak, she had no way of knowing that Ted Cavanaugh was one of her most interested listeners. From the time he was a boy and had developed his love for Egyptian antiquities, he had also been interested in what constituted good manners in ancient times. He knew it would be a distraction to hear about the mores of society one hundred years ago, and he needed that distraction.

  “Since what was known as etiquette a century ago is so disgracefully lacking today, you may be interested to hear about the beautiful customs that prevailed in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century.

  “Let’s start with wedding etiquette. When a young man gives his intended an engagement ring, he follows a tradition that began more than eighty years ago. The proper engagement ring is a solitaire diamond because it is the conventional example of, and I quote, ‘the singleness and endurity of the one love in the groom-to-be’s life.’

  “At the first family dinner after an engagement, the girl’s father would raise his glass and address the assembly by saying, ‘I propose that we drink a toast to the health of my daughter Mary and the young man she has decided to add permanently to our family, James Manlington.’

  “The young man should respond by saying, ‘I, er . . . , we thank you all indeed for your good wishes. I don’t think I have to tell you, the thing for me is to prove, if I can, that Mary has not made the mistake of her life by choosing me, and I hope that it won’t be very long before we see all of you again at our own table with Mary at the head of it and I, where I belong, at the foot.’ ”

  Witherspoon sighed. “What a shame that life is so rude today.”

  She cleared her throat. “And now to the wedding. The bride’s gown should be white. Satin and/or lace are most appropriate.

  “As for the bridal party, Emily Post put it this way: ‘A distinguished uncle was asked, “Don’t you think the wedding was too lovely? Weren’t the bridesmaids beautiful?” ’

  “ ‘His answer was, “I did not think it was beautiful at all. Every one of the bridesmaids was so powdered and painted there was not a sweet face among them. I can see a procession just like them any evening on the musical comedy stage.” ’ ”

  Witherspoon went on to talk about the proper furnishings of a bride’s home, including the necessary number of servants, the butler, two footmen, a cook with two kitchen helpers, a housekeeper and two maids.

  She then proceeded to tell about how to garb a house for mourning.

  By the time her lecture was over, there was no one in the audience who did not feel guilty of somehow making many a faux pas along the way.

  • • •

  As Witherspoon spoke, Ted Cavanaugh found himself only half-listening as his mind immediately returned to the challenge in front of him. Lady Haywood had finally told the truth, that she had the Cleopatra necklace that her husband had given to her. Whether she likes it or not, besides being famous explorers, Sir Richard and his father were tomb raiders, Ted thought. That necklace should have been on display all these years at the Museum of Cairo. She has no right to give it to the Smithsonian. If she does so, that will probably mean a protracted lawsuit to get it back. I could make a lot of money suing the Smithsonian, but I don’t want that to happen.

  I’m going to point out to her that if she doesn’t want her husband and his father to be known as grave robbers, she should agree to turn the necklace over to the Cairo museum. Maybe I can convince her, he hoped. I’ll certainly give it my best effort.

  Ted Cavanaugh was not the only member of the audience who was not giving Witherspoon his full attention. Professor Henry Longworth made it a habit to attend the presentation that preceded his. It gave him a chance to size up the audience reaction, to see the type of material they responded to.

  Longworth did not want to admit how eager he was to attend Witherspoon’s lecture. He had never been able to lose the bitter memories of those poverty-stricken years in Liverpool, but even more so, of the ridicule he encountered wh
en he first arrived in Cambridge. He had poured tea into his saucer at the first university dinner, raised it to his lips and slurped. Then he had caught the snickers and glances from the other students at the long table. The snickers broke into laughter when the student next to him poured his tea into his saucer and began slurping it too. Then the other students at the long table followed his example.

  Henry could still hear their laughter pound in his ears. That was why he had studied etiquette as an avocation. And it had served him well. He knew his slightly aloof manner, as well as his compelling lectures, added to the air of mystery he had created for himself.

  What others did not know was that he owned a home in Mayfair that he had bought long ago when prices were affordable. He had carefully studied magazines that showed society homes, and little by little, he had turned his home into a paragon of good taste. Year by year he had furnished it with beautiful objects collected while speaking on tours. Only his cleaning woman knew it existed. Even his mail was sent to a post office box. The house and the furnishings were his. In his smoking jacket he would sit in the library, and as his eyes moved about the room, one by one he would enjoy and relish a beautiful painting or a fine piece of sculpture. In that room he truly became himself, “Lord” Henry Longworth. It was the fantasy world that had become his reality. And after a trip he was always happy to return there.

  He listened as Anthony Breidenbach, the entertainment director, announced that his Shakespeare lecture would begin after a fifteen-minute recess. At three-thirty, gemologist Celia Kilbride would present.

  21

  Celia was gratified to see that Lady Emily, Roger Pearson and Professor Henry Longworth were in the first row of the auditorium. Not only that, but the occupants of the table next to hers at dinner last night were there as well.

  She had about the same number of people in the audience as Longworth had had. The moment before she began to speak, she felt a wave of nervousness paralyze her, as usual. And then it was gone.

  “A lecture about the history of jewelry should begin by defining the word itself. Jewel is derived from the French word ‘j-o-u-e-l,’ which roughly translates to ‘plaything.’

  “Although early man created jewelry out of shells and other objects, the first use of jewelry from a precious metal almost certainly involved gold. It’s easy to see why gold was such a natural choice. It is widely dispersed throughout the world, and early societies had an easy time collecting the shiny metal from streambeds.

  “Gold had the advantage of being very easy to work with. Early societies noticed that it neither tarnished nor corroded. This sense of permanence quickly led to it being associated with the gods and immortality in many cultures and in ancient texts. The Old Testament made reference to the Golden Calf, and Jason and the Argonauts searched for the Golden Fleece around 1200 B.C.

  “The constant theme of Middle Eastern kingdoms was the desire for gold. The king of Babylon wrote, ‘As for gold, send me what you have to hand as quickly as possible.’

  “The king of the Hittites wrote in a letter, ‘Send me great quantities of gold, more gold than was sent to my father.’

  “The most abiding image of ancient Egypt is reflected in gold because it is considered the material of the flesh of the gods and the color of divinity.”

  Over the next twenty minutes she spoke of the evolution of jewelry and when various precious gemstones came into use.

  Celia had decided that since Lady Em had openly admitted that she was in possession of the Cleopatra necklace and would be wearing it on board, she would relate the story of the necklace as well as the other fantastic jewels that had adorned Cleopatra during her thirty-nine years of life. The audience’s rapt attention confirmed that she had made the right choice.

  She regaled them with stories about ancient Egyptian jewelry in general including the ornaments for the head and neck, the collars and girdles adorning the body, the bracelets, finger rings and anklets for the arms and the legs.

  What she did not know was that her most attentive listener in the audience was a person who already knew the history of all the gems she had mentioned and was silently congratulating her for the accuracy of her presentation.

  She told the audience that her second lecture would include a focus on the unique role of the emerald in the history of jewelry. Then she would speak about the history of legendary diamonds like the Koh-i-Noor diamond that was now in Queen Elizabeth’s state crown and the Hope Diamond, which was donated to the Smithsonian.

  Celia finished her lecture by saying, “Lady Emily Haywood, who is here today, is the current owner of the priceless Cleopatra necklace, and I understand that she is planning to wear it on this voyage before she donates it to the Smithsonian Institution upon her return to New York. Like the Hope Diamond, it will be seen by millions of viewers every year.”

  Lady Em stood up. “Celia, you must tell the story about the legend of the curse on the Cleopatra necklace.”

  “Are you sure you want me to, Lady Em?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Hesitantly, Celia explained the curse. “After being ordered to wear the necklace at sea while being taken prisoner to Rome, Cleopatra put a curse on it: ‘Whoever wears this necklace to sea will not live to reach the shore.’ ” She quickly added that legends by their very nature are not based on truths, and she was sure that this was the case with the Cleopatra necklace.

  From the applause, Celia knew that her lecture had gone over very well. Quite a few people came up to her to say how much they had enjoyed it, and three women asked if antique jewels they inherited might have more value than they had realized.

  She always had the same answer to that question. “When you return to New York, bring any jewelry you want appraised to me at Carruthers and I’ll be happy to evaluate your pieces.”

  One woman who appeared to be in her late sixties would not take no for an answer. She was wearing a ring on the third finger of her left hand.

  “Isn’t this a glorious diamond?” she asked. “My new gentleman friend just gave it to me before we sailed. He told me it’s four carats and was mined in South Africa only last year.”

  Celia dug into her pocketbook and took out the small eyepiece known as a loupe. She held the loupe to her eye as she examined the ring. At a glance Celia could see that the stone was zirconium. She said, “Let’s go over to the window so I can see it in a better light.” With a smile and a thank-you to the women around her, Celia walked to the window.

  “Are you traveling with friends?” she asked casually.

  “Oh yes, I am. Four of my friends and we call ourselves the ‘Sail Away Widows.’ We go all over the world together. Of course we all agree that it would be much nicer to be with our husbands, but it is what it is and we have to make the best of it.”

  “But you said you have a boyfriend,” Celia said.

  “Oh I do. He’s ten years younger. I’m seventy, but he said he’s always dated older women. He’s divorced.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t think I asked your name,” Celia said.

  “Oh, I’m Alice Sommers.”

  “Where did you meet your gentleman friend?” Celia asked, trying to make it sound like a casual question.

  A blush came over Alice Sommers’s face. “I know you might think it’s silly, but just for fun, I joined that online dating service You and I Together, and Dwight responded to my profile.”

  Another con artist, Celia thought, and judging by the way the four widows are able to readily travel, they are pretty well off.

  “Alice,” Celia said, “I’m going to be honest. This is not a real diamond. It’s zirconium. Although it looks nice, it’s worth nothing. This isn’t easy to tell you and you’ll probably feel hurt and embarrassed because that’s the way I felt. My fiancé bought me a beautiful engagement ring, but then I learned that he was tricking people into investing in his hedge fund and had used that money to, among other things, buy that ring. My advice is to throw your ring in the ocean and
enjoy the friends who travel with you.”

  Alice Sommers listened. For a moment she was silent, then she bit her lip. “I feel like a fool,” she said. “And my friends were trying to warn me! Celia, would you go out on the deck and watch me throw this piece of garbage overboard?”

  “I’ll be happy to do that,” Celia said with a smile. But even as she followed Alice outside, she realized that she had given her a good tidbit to gossip about. One of them would research her name online and get all the details of her involvement with Steven. And in the way of the world, that situation would go through the ship like wildfire.

  No good deed goes unpunished, she thought, as a minute later, Alice Sommers, with a game smile, took the zirconium off her finger, tossed it high in the air and watched it disappear into the increasingly choppy waters.

  22

  Willy and Alvirah had attended the Shakespeare and etiquette lectures, and Celia’s. Afterward, they went outside to take a walk on the deck.

  Alvirah sighed, “Oh Willy, wasn’t it interesting to hear about the social customs of one hundred years ago? Then Celia’s stories about the jewelry were so fascinating. And when Professor Longworth recited those sonnets from Shakespeare, it made me wish I had learned them when I was young. I mean, I feel so uneducated.”

  “You’re not uneducated,” Willy said fervently. “You’re the smartest woman I know. I bet a lot of people would love to have your common sense and your ability to judge people.”

  Alvirah’s expression brightened. “Oh Willy, you always make me feel so good. But speaking of judging people, did you notice that Yvonne Pearson took off like a bird after dinner last night? She didn’t wait for anyone else to even get up.”

  “No, I didn’t pay any particular attention to her,” Willy said.