Someone was banging on the door. There was no question about what they wanted. I had some food left, I had shelter, and there were a handful of clothes I had found. Everything that was getting scarce now.
I had two seconds to make a decision and that was all it took. I quickly threw everything I owned into a duffel bag and pried open the window in the kitchen. It was a basement apartment so there was only a small space to wiggle through.
The unwanted visitor continued to bang on the wall, throwing in some demands to open up for good measure. They could have the apartment, it hadn’t been home to me for almost two months now. I only stayed there occasionally, just enough to make sure the note I left for Faith was still on the fridge.
I hadn’t seen her in two months. Two months. The devil sitting on my shoulder told me she was never coming back. Yet the tiny spark of hope in my heart prayed that she would perform a miracle and return to me.
Oliver was always busy with the shelter and whatever else he did. He was harder to find some days than food. He didn’t need me hovering around him and taking up his precious time. The city needed him and I couldn’t be selfish.
There was nothing left for me in the city anymore. There were too many kids that thought they were Batman villains and decided to take whatever they wanted. They didn’t care about what was right or wrong. It was a fight for survival now and nobody to police the streets. As long as they were bigger than their victim, they could take and do whatever they liked.
Nowhere was safe.
Little kids either remained permanently in the shelter or they hid away from sight. Everybody knew to be home and locked away before dark.
I couldn’t continue to live in the city that held so many ghosts. I wasn’t getting any better at blocking them out and their pleas were only getting louder.
Eight months.
That was a lot of months to go by when every day was a struggle – for both the living and the dead. I didn’t know how to help any of them, which only added to my sadness.
My feet took me automatically to the shelter but I stopped in the doorway. Oliver was standing behind the food counter and talking to some kids. He wasn’t like the best friend I used to know. He was better now, completely selfless and filled with a purpose.
I was there to say goodbye to him but I couldn’t do it. I’d never been good at them and I would probably just get all blubbery. It was better to just leave, he would be better off without me.
I turned around and started to walk the long road out of the city. There was no reason to explore the outer suburbs before, my life had been too involved in my neighborhood. I thought I would live there for the rest of my life.
Now, it was time that I found places that were unfamiliar to me. Maybe then I could start a new life and pretend that everything I once had was just a fanciful dream. If I told myself that enough, maybe I would start believing it.
My feet weren’t the best form of transport but they were all I had. I kept putting one foot in front of the other and told myself not to stop under any circumstances.
Maybe I would find a stash of food nobody else had pilfered beyond the city. Perhaps I could plant a garden in a small uninhabited area and live off the fruit and vegetables I could grow. A part of me was excited about the prospect of starting again. I wouldn’t be able to stop grieving for those I’d lost, but maybe I could live a life that wasn’t based solely on survival.
I walked for so long that the night crept up on me. I slept in a house that didn’t seem occupied and then the next morning I started walking again.
The neighborhoods changed the longer I walked. The apartments started to turn into houses and then eventually their lots grew bigger. The outer suburbs were nice, pretty. All the houses seemed empty of kids.
They were still filled with the dead.
But they wouldn’t hurt me.
They would just crowd me until I couldn’t breathe and then I could run. The dead didn’t have any other weapons like the kids did these days. I wouldn’t be stabbed or shot or bludgeoned to death out here in the suburbs.
I had to climb a hill to reach the next set of houses I wanted to check. Some had been looted already and had all the food stolen. But the majority were still intact, just waiting for their owners to return and resume their life again.
That was definitely not going to happen.
The neighborhood was quiet, so much more quiet than the city had been. Birds still flew around the area, chirping in the trees like nothing had happened. I could almost believe the Event had never happened up here.
This was my new home.
I picked the house with the nicest yard and that was going to be my home now. Every day I would search through all the others and take what I needed to survive. This would be my base and I would live here by myself for the rest of my life.
I’d failed Faith by not keeping her safe.
I’d failed Oliver by not helping in the shelter.
They didn’t need me now, nobody did. They were all better off without me. Living in the house on the hill would suit me just fine. I could read all day, plant a vegetable garden. I would be happier here than anywhere else.
“Who are you?” the voice came from behind me. I hadn’t heard anyone sneak up on me. I spun around to face not just one person but many.