When he got through, he turned his sweat-streaked white face toward her, she fetched the ice cream and they had a jolly little family party. Then she went out and got into her car and drove home.
She telephoned me. I met her at an all-night drugstore, and across the imitation-marble top of the table in the booth. I saw her for the first time since the morning in May when she stood at the door of her apartment and had read the question in my face and had slowly and wordlessly nodded the answer. When I heard her voice on the telephone that night, my heart took the little leap and kerplunk_, like the frog into the lily pond, just as it had before, and for the moment what had happened might as well not have happened. But it had happened, and what I had now as my cab wheeled me down-town to the all-night-drugstore, was the wry and bilious satisfaction that I was being called on for some special reason the other fellow couldn’t be expected to answer. But the satisfaction forgot even to be wry and bilious and was, for the moment, just simple satisfaction when I stepped out of the cab and saw her standing inside the glass doors of the drugstore, a trim erect figure in a light-green polka-dot dress with some kind of a white jacket hung across one of her bare arms. I tried to make out the expression on her face, but before I could discover what it was, she spied me and smiled.
It was a tentative, apologetic sort of smile, which said please_ and thank you_ and at the same time expressed an innocent and absolute confidence that your better nature would triumph. I walked across the hot pavement toward that smile and the green polka-dot figure which stood there behind the glass like something put in a showcase for you to admire but not touch. Then I laid my hand on the glass of the door, and pushed, and left the street, where the air was hot and sticky like a Turkish bath and where the smell of gasoline fumes mixed with the brackish, dead-sweet smell of the rivers which crept city on still nights in summer, and entered the bright, crisp, antiseptic, cool world behind the glass where the smile was, for there is nothing brighter, crisper, more antiseptic, and cooler than a really first-rate corner drugstore on a hot summer night. If Anne Stanton is inside the door and the air conditioning is working.
The smile was on me and the eyes looked straight at me and she put out her hand. I took it, thought how cool and small and firm it was, as though I were just discovering the fact, and heard her say, “It looks like I’m always calling you up, Jack.”
“Oh, that’s O. K.,” I said, and released the hand.
It couldn’t have been More than an instant we stood there then without saying anything, but it seemed a long and painfully embarrassed time, as if neither of us knew what to say, before she said, “Let’s sit down.”
I started to move back toward the booths. Out of the tail of my eye, I notice that she made a motion, quickly suppressed, to hang on to my arm. As I noticed that fact, the satisfaction which had been for the moment simple satisfaction, was again merely the wry and bilious satisfaction with which I had started out. And it stayed that kind, as I sat in the booth and looked at her face which was not smiling now and was showing the tensions and the tightness of the skin over the fine bone and showing, I suppose, the years that had gone since the summer when we sat in the roadster and she sang to Jackie-Bird, and promised never to let anybody hurt poor Jackie-Bird. Well, she had kept her promise, all right, for Jackie-Bird had flown away that summer, before the fall came, to some place with a better climate where nobody would ever hurt him, and he had never come back. At least, I had never seen him since.
Now she sat in the booth and told me, over our glasses of Coca Cola, what had happened in Adam’s apartment.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked, when she got through.
“You know,” she said.
“You want me to make him stick to it?”
“Yes,” she said.
“It’ll be hard.”
She nodded
“It’ll be hard,” I said, “because he is acting perfectly crazy. The only thing I can prove to him is that if this Coffee bastard try to bribe him it only indicates that the job is on the level as long as Adam wants to keep it that way. It only indicates, furthermore, that somebody farther up the line had declined to take a bribe, too. It even indicates that Tiny Duffy is an honest man. Or,” I added, “hasn’t been able to deliver the goods.”
“You will try?” she asked.
“I’ll try,” I said, “but don’t get your hopes up. I can only prove to Adam what he would already know if he hadn’t gone crazy. He just has the high cantankerous moral shrinks. He does not like to play with the rough boys. He is afraid they might dirty his Lord Fauntleroy suit.”
“That’s no fair,” she burst out.
I shrugged, then said, “Well, I’ll try, anyway.”
“What will you do?”
“There is only one thing to do. I’ll go to Governor Stark, get him to agree to arrest Coffee on the grounds of attempted bribery of an official–Adam is an official, you know–and call on Adam to swear to the charges. If he’ll swear to them. That ought to make him see how things line up. That ought to show him the Boss will protect him. And–” to that point I had only been thinking of the Adam end but now my mind got to work on the possibilities of the situation–”it wouldn’t do the Boss any harm to hang a rap on Coffee. Particularly if he will squeal on the behind-guy. He might bust up Larson. And with Larson out, MacMurfee wouldn’t mean much. He might hang it on Coffee, too, if you–” And I stopped dead.
“If I what?” she demanded.
“Nothing,” I said, and felt the way you do when you are driving merrily across the drawbridge, and all at once the span starts up.
“What,” she demanded.
I looked into her level eyes and saw the way her jaw was set, and knew that I might as well say it. She would work on me till she had it. So I said it. “If you will testify,” I said.
“I’ll do it,” she said without hesitation.
I shook my head. “No,” I said.
“I’ll do it.”
“No, it won’t wash.”
“Why?”
“It just won’t. After all, you didn’t see anything.”
“I was there.”
“It would just be hearsay testimony. Absolutely that. It would never stand up.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know about those things. But I know this. I know that isn’t the reason you changed your mind. What made you change your mind?”
“You never have been on a witness stand. You don’t know what it is to have a mean, smart lawyer saw at you while you sweat.”
“I’ll do it,” she said.
“No.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Listen here,” I said, and shut my eyes and took the plunge off the end of the open drawbridge, “if you think Coffee’s lawyer wouldn’t have plenty on the ball you are crazy as Adam. He would be mean and he would be smart and he would not have one damned bit of fine old Southern chivalry.”
“You mean–” she began, and I knew from her face that she had caught the point.
“Exactly,” I said. “Nobody may know anything now, but when the fun started they would know everything.”
“I don’t care,” she affirmed, and lifted her chin up a couple of notches. I saw the little creases in the flesh of her neck, just the tiniest little creases, the little mark left day after day by the absolutely infinitesimal gossamer cord of thuggee which time throws around the prettiest neck every day to garrote it. The cord is so gossamer that it breaks every day, but the marks get there finally, and finally one day the gossamer cord doesn’t break and is enough. I looked at the marks when Anne lifted her chin, and realized that I had never noticed them before and would always notice then again. I suddenly felt awful–literally sick, as though I had been socked in the stomach, or as though I had met a hideous betrayal. Then before I knew, the way I felt changed into anger, and I lashed out.
“Yeah,” I said, “you don’t care, but you forget one thing. You forget that Adam will be sitting r
ight there looking at little sister.”
Her face was white as a sheet.
The she lowered her head a little and was looking at her hands, which were clenched together now around the empty Coca Cola glass. Her head was low enough so that I could not see her eyes, only the lids coming down over them.
“My dear, my dear,” I murmured. Then as I seized her hands pressed around the glass, the words wrenched out of me, “Oh, Anne, why did you do it?”
It was the one question I had never meant to ask.
For a moment she did not answer. Then, without raising her eyes, she said in a low voice, “He wasn’t like anybody else. Not anybody else I’d ever known. And I love him. I love him, I guess. I guess that is the reason.”
I sat there and reckoned I had asked for that one.
She said, “Then you told me–you told me about my father. There wasn’t any reason why not then. After you told me.”
I reckoned I had asked for that one, too.
She said, “He wants to marry me.”
“Are you going to?”
“Not now. It would hurt him. A divorce would hurt him. Not now.”
“Are you going to?”
“Perhaps. Later. After he goes to the Senate. Next year.”
One part of my mind was busy ticketing that away: The Senate next year. That means he won’t let old Scoggan go back. Funny he hadn’t told me_. But the other part of my mind which was not the nice, cool, steel filing cabinet with alphabetical cards was boiling like a kettle of pitch. A big bubble heaved up and exploded out of the pitch, and it was my voice saying, “Well, I suppose you know what you are up to.”
“You don’t know him,” she said, her voice even lower than before. “You’ve known him all these years and you don’t know him at all.” Then she had lifted her head and was looking straight into my eyes. “I’m not sorry,” she said, quite distinctly. “Not for anything that’s happened.”
I walked down the street in the hot darkness toward my hotel under a magnificent throbbing sky, breathing the old gasoline fumes the day had left and the sweet, marshy smell of the river at low water which the night brought up into the streets, and thinking, yes, I knew why she had done it.
The answer was in all the years before, and the things in them and not in them.
The answer was in me, for I had told her.
I only told her the truth_, I said savagely to myself, and she can’t blame me for the truth!_
But was there some fatal appropriateness inherent in the very nature of the world and of me that I should be the one to tell her the truth? I had to ask myself that question, too. And I couldn’t be sure of the answer. So I walked on down the street, turning that question over and over in my mind without any answer until the question lost meaning and dropped from my mind as something heavy drops from numb fingers. I would have faced the responsibility and the guilt, I was ready to do that, if I could know. But who is going to tell you?
So I walked on, and after a while I remembered how she had said I had never known him. And the him_ was Willie Stark, whom I had known for the many years since Cousin Willie from the country, the Boy with the Christmas Tie, had walked into the back room of Slade’s old place. Sure, I knew him. Like a book. I had known him a long time.
Too long_, I thought then, too long to know him_. For maybe the time had blinded me, or rather I had not been aware of the passing of time and always the round face of Cousin Willie had come between me and the other face so that I had never really seen the other face. Except perhaps in those moments when it had leaned forward to the crowds and the forelock had fallen and the eyes had bulged, and the crowd had roared and I had felt the surge in me and had felt that I was on the verge of the truth. But always the face of Cousin Willie above the Christmas tie had come again.
But it did not come now. I saw the face. Enormous. Bigger than a billboard. The forelock shagged down like a mane. The big jaw. The heavy lips laid together like masonry. The eyes burning and bulging powerfully.
Funny, I had never seen it before. Not really.
That night I telephoned the Boss, told him what had happened and how Anne had told me, and made my suggestion about getting Adam to swear out a warrant for Coffee. He said to do it. To do anything that would nail Adam. So I went to the hotel, where I lat on my bed under the electric fan until the desk called me to get up at about six o’clock. Then by seven I was on Adam’s doorstep, with a single cup of java sloshing about in my insides and a fresh razor cut on my chin and sleep like sand under my eyelids.
I worked it. It was a hard little job I had cut out for me. First, I had to enlist Adam on the side of righteousness by getting him to agree to swear out a warrant for Coffee. My method was to assume, of course, that he was aching for the opportunity to nail Coffee, and to indicate that the Boss was cheering on the glorious exploit. Then I had to lead him to the discovery, which had to be all his own, that this would involve Anne as a witness. Then I had played the half-wit and imply that this had never occurred to me before. The danger was, with a fellow like Adam, that he would get so set on seeing justice done that he would let Anne testify, hell and high water. He almost did that, but I painted a gory picture of the courtroom scene (but not as gory by half as it would have been in truth), refused to be party to the business, hinted that he was an unnatural brother, and wound up with a vague notion of another way to get Coffee for a similar attempt in another quarter–a vague notion of laying myself open for Coffee to approach me. I could put out a feeler for him, and all that. So Adam dropped the idea of the charge, but retained the implied idea that he and the Boss had teamed up to keep things clean for the hospital.
Just as we were ready to walk out of the apartment, he stepped to the mantelpiece and picked up the stamped letters waiting there to be mailed. I had spotted the top envelope already, the one address to the Boss. So as he turned around with the letters in his hand, I simply lifted that one out of his grasp, said with my best smile, “Hell, you haven’t got any use for this in the daylight,” and tore it across and put the pieces into my pocket.
Then we went out back and got into his car. I rode with him all the way to his office. I would have sat with him all day to keep an eye on him if it had been possible. Anyway, I chatted briskly all the way down-town to keep his mind clear. My chatter was as gay and sprightly as bird song.
So the summer moved on, swelling slowly like a great fruit, and everything was as it had been before. I went to my office. I went back to my hotel and sometimes ate a meal and sometimes did not and lay under the fan and read till late. I saw the same faces, Duffy, the Boss, Sadie Burke, all the faces I had known for a long time and saw so often I didn’t notice the changes in them. But I did not see Adam and Anne for a while. And I had not seen Lucy Stark for a long time. She was living out in the country now. The Boss would still go out to see her now and then, to keep up appearances, and have his picture taken among the white leghorns. Sometimes Tom Stark would stand there with him and, perhaps, Lucy, with the white leghorns in the foreground and a wire fence behind. Governor Willie Stark and Family_, the caption would read.
Yes, those pictures were an asset to the Boss. Half the people in the state knew that the Boss had been tom-catting around for years, but he pictures of the family and the white leghorns gave the voters a nice warm glow, it made them feel solid, substantial, and virtuous, it made them think of gingerbread and nice cold buttermilk, and if somewhere not too far in the wings there was a flicker of a black-lace negligee and a whiff of musky perfume, then, “Well, you can’t blame him a-taken hit, they put hit up to him.” It only meant that the Boss was having it both ways, and that seemed a mark of the chosen and superior. It was what the voter did when he shook loose and came up to town to the furniture dealers’ convention and gave the bellhop a couple of bucks to get him a girl up to the room. Or if he wasn’t doing it classy, he rode into town with his truckload of hogs and for two bucks got the whole works down at a crib. But either way, classy or cri
b, the voter knew what it meant, and he wanted both Mom’s gingerbread and the black-lace negligee and didn’t hold it against the Boss for having both. What he would have held against the Boss was a divorce. Anne was right about that. It would have hurt even the Boss. That would have been very different, and would have robbed the voter of something he valued, the nice warm glow of complacency, the picture that flattered him and his own fat or thin wife standing in front of the henhouse.
Meanwhile, if the voter knew that the Boss had been tom-catting for years, and could name the names of half of the ladies involved, he didn’t know about Anne Stanton. Sadie had found out, but that was no miracle. But as far as I could detect, nobody else knew, not even Duffy with his wheezing, elephantine with and leer. Maybe Sugar-Boy knew, but he could be depended upon. He knew everything. The Boss didn’t mind telling anything in front of Sugar-Boy, or close to it–anything, that is, that he would tell. Which probably left a lot untold, at that. Once Congressman Randall was in the Boss’s library with him, Sugar-Boy, and me, pacing up and down the floor, and the Boss was giving him play-by-play instructions on how to conduct himself when the Milton-Broderick Bill was presented to Congress. Te instructions were pretty frank, and the Congressman kept looking nervously at Sugar-Boy. The Boss noticed him. “God damn it,” the Boss said, “you afraid Sugar-Boy’s finding out something? Well, you’re right, he’s finding out something. Well, Sugar-Boy has found out plenty. He knows more about this state than you do. And I trust him a hell of a lot farther than I’d trust you. You’re my pal, ain’t you, Sugar-Boy?”