Chapter 9
The outdoors-
After a stressful day, it was calming to find myself back on the water with Peggy and Taz. If nothing else went right in my new world, at least I had those serene moments. During my reprieve, I had pushed a pink worm onto my hook, when a clump of black and red goo squirted onto my fingers. I was getting more tolerant to the worms innards, and I had started wiping it off on my clothes like Peggy did. It’s funny how we can become appalled by someone’s actions, then being around them enough, find we are becoming like them. I felt like being with the Sanibels was morphing me into a slob.
I hoped I wouldn’t fully turn into a Sanibel, for they were a disconnected family in my opinion. Living there, I felt misplaced along with the stress of going through life without an identity. I watched as Peggy’s children would play and interact with each other. Each one of the eleven had their own personality, knowing exactly what they wanted and how to manipulate and make things turn out for them. They understood each other intimately having the abilities to make one another happy and the knowledge of how to tick each other off. When they were willing to, they worked well together. Upon entering their house, everything felt only like chaos, but not to me, not anymore. Sure, at first the Sanibel family really scared me with their overwhelming noise, but after studying them, I saw other things. I saw networks and alliances, hustling and power plays. At times, I saw a great deal of compassion dished out. There were also good virtues like patience and understanding. Even though I loved Peggy, there was a great deal of apathy and even neglect from her and Mike towards their children, but not to the point one would call Child Protective Services on them. Just low enough to go under the radar, but ample enough the kids felt it and reacted to their disappointment in their parents on each other.
Despite their negligence, I was luckier than the others, because most nights, Peggy took me out on the boat. I cherished my time with her. After being silent all day, it was nice to talk. At first she guided our conversations, but each time we went out, I got better at initiating direction. I had often wondered why she chose me to give her free time to. I was tempted to ask her, but I was afraid if I did, the attention would stop. I could see why meal time was so important in the home, for it was one of the only times they talked and paid attention as a family unit.
As I evaluated their dynamics, I cast my line out. We had developed a pattern on the boat, fishing for an hour before the conversation started. That night while I fished, we were getting close to the hour mark, and I had only caught one fish. Peggy had caught two. Fishing was so inconsistent. At times, we couldn’t keep up with the fish we were pulling in. I had started hiding the fish I caught in the freezer in the shed. There was an electric skillet out there and whenever I was hungry, I would go to the shed and fry up a fish. I had learned to do it by watching Peggy cook fish. No one seemed to know I was doing it, and I preferred it to stay that way. It sure beat starving all the time.
Peggy let out a lazy yawn. “This is the life,” she said. The conversation had begun.
“Sure is,” I replied.
“The school called me after you got home. Do you have any idea what they would be calling me about?”
I stared at her. When she asked a question I didn’t like, I would usually stare.
“They told me you didn’t do your test. You had been given the opportunity to work on it for two days and you produced nothing. Alora, why aren’t you doing the tests? They said they are very important.”
I stared. At the time, I didn’t know why I wasn’t doing them, but I just couldn’t.
“Oh well, I guess we move forward. I had to explain to them in great detail what you have gone through. I told them you were probably still in shock and you needed time to recover, how it must be hard to start living with a new family and a new school. They decided Monday you will start with a schedule and they will gage it from there. Does that sound alright?”
I shrugged.
“Well, I can see talking about this is not making you feel good, so let’s talk about something else. Did you know the school offers clubs? There are all sorts of fun clubs. Band clubs, orchestra, writing, choir, and chess clubs, and even others. I am sure anything a kid your age is interested, they have a club for it. It may be good for you to find something you like and join a club for it.”
Hadn’t she said we were done talking about school? Since I didn’t know what I liked, there was no way I wanted to join a club. Plus, it would probably involve talking to other kids.
“All of my kids play an instrument. It is a Sanibel requirement. I would like you to pick out an instrument when you are ready. It builds discipline and character.”
What did she know about discipline?
“The church is a great way for you to make friends. You can meet them on Sunday at church, then they always have activities during the week. There is a large group of good kids your age there. They will be very kind and accepting of you. They are of everyone.”
I didn’t want friends, not yet.
We sat in silence for a moment.
“You are kind of quiet tonight, Alora. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
I hesitated. There was something I was anxious to ask her. “Can you take me to Bountiful and show me the house they found me in? The people don’t live there anymore, right?” I looked at my hands, afraid she would say no.
When she didn’t answer, I peeked my eyes up. It was hard to see Peggy’s facial expressions in the dark, but I could sense she had gone stiff. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Well, I have been thinking, maybe I wasn’t always drugged up. Maybe something about that house will open my memories. Maybe there are certain smells in it that will trigger something for me.”
“You have been thinking about it. I guess it could be arranged. I won’t take you there. I hate driving on the freeway. Driving really isn’t my thing. But, at some point, we will see you get up there.”
Peggy’s line went tight. “Oh Mercy me, I got a fish.” She yanked her pole and set the hook. “Alora, get the net ready.”
…
When we got back, it was about 1am. I was frozen to the bone. Peggy started taking a propane heater with us. It helped a little, but I still got cold. When I went to my bedroom, I found it full of neighbor kids sleeping over. Our house must have been the only home in Mantua where kids played at. I was glad my bed was full of kids, that way, I could go sleep in the shed. I knew it would be cold, so I gathered all my blankets off the sleeping intruders in my room. Taz followed me to the shed. I was surprised at how quickly it got warm out there between the dog and the heater. I had a nice night’s sleep.
Soccer season started Saturday, and most of the house cleared out to either play or watch it. Even the parents left. I really didn’t want to waste my Saturday watching kids play soccer. Peggy tried to talk me into joining a team, but I wasn’t ready to make friends. The Sanibels were enough new relationships for me for the time.
After they had left, I walked over to the campground, which had a few campers in it. The smells of bacon, eggs, and sausage lingered below the trees, causing my stomach to growl and my mouth to salivate. Everything smelt so good. Breakfast had been a meager bowl of cereal. I slowly walked around the campground, almost lingering at each site. I loved watching the people lazily sit about and enjoy the morning. Everyone was bundled in several layers of clothing. They passed around hot drinks and kept warm. The kids would be wild, running around and getting chastised by their parents. Some people had card games set up. The one thing I rarely saw was frowning. Sure, a parent would frown at a misbehaving kid, but then they quickly returned to their smile. Everyone seemed to be smiling. Maybe that is why I liked it there so much. Everyone was smiling. Their joy created a feeling in me that was hard to explain. It was interesting too, because it seemed at the campground everyone shared the same color ban
d of brilliant blue. The campground itself seemed to be illuminated brilliant blue. I looked at my own aura, it was the same magnificent color.
I compared life at the campground to life at home with the Sanibels. At home, the parents were so engrossed in selfish, unproductive activities. They often had a scowl on their face and their auras were almost grey. They didn’t interact much with the kids, unless it was to yell at them. I wondered what the family would be like camping. Maybe they would be as happy as all the other campers seemed to be. Maybe they would have the deep blue color band. I didn’t know what the colors meant yet, but I was starting to classify them. Brilliant blue seemed to mean happy, peaceful, at one with self and nature. Maybe I was wrong, but at least that is what they meant to me. Grey seemed to mean despondent, gloom, in a funk. I had decided I needed to pay more attention to color bands and the emotions the people were displaying in each color field.
There was a cold nip to the air. I stopped observing the campers and ended up going home sooner than I wanted to. Hungry, I went out to the shed and fried up some fish in the electric skillet. I was so thankful for my secret stash of food. I couldn’t figure out why there were so many portly people in the Sanibel home, for I was starving. Weren’t they starving too? Maybe they had learned to be more aggressive and therefore, they got to eat more food than the rest of us. My fish sizzled in the electric skillet and the small shed filled with savory smoke. My stomach growled, impatient for the fish to be done. With the space heater on, I stayed comfortable. When I had finished eating, I went into the house.
With my stomach feeling satisfied, I realized I hadn’t taken a shower since I had moved in with the Sanibels. I didn’t know much about hygiene, and the Sanibels weren’t good examples of it. Being alone in the house, I thought it was the perfect time to shower. Since none of the bathroom doors had locks, I had been real nervous to do it before then. Grabbing some dirty clothes, I went in the bathroom. The Sanibels never washed my laundry, so I had started doing it by hand in the sink. I am sure I must have stunk, but what choice did I have? I decided I must remember to ask Peggy about laundry services during our next boat trip.
Thankfully, nobody disturbed me while I showered. It felt so good to get all the gunk and dirt off me. When I turned the water off, I noticed there were no towels. I ended up using my dirty clothes to dry myself on.
Saturday evening, around 5pm, everyone and their friends appeared to be back together again. The only ones not there were Peggy and Mike. They had gone to the store in nearby Brigham City for a date. When they came home, Mike had the biggest smile I had ever seen on him. His color band was purple as he lugged in a 32inch flat screen TV. The kids were hyped-up by the sight of something new being brought into the home. They gathered around Mike until he growled at them to move. He took the TV straight into his bedroom and closed the door.
“What’s that? What’s that?” the kids pestered Peggy.
“It’s Dad’s new TV. Now he is no longer going to tie up our TV out here with his dumb video games. He is going to move the X-BOX into the bedroom and we get free reign on the TV.” And by ‘we’, she meant her.
The kids cheered in their excitement. Peggy immediately plopped herself in the recliner, dust shot out, and she turned the TV on. I was hoping we would go out on the boat, but with her new found TV freedom, we didn’t go out. I was rather disappointed as I headed out to the shed for bed.