“I wish you’d stop phrasing every discussion about the Garto as ‘assuming I don’t die’ or ‘if the Garto doesn’t kill me.’” He growled. “I killed my former Alpha, replaced him, got the pack in order, run multiple businesses, and survived five separate alpha challenges, which I think might be a record by the way, I am capable of saving you from a mythical beast.”
She shifted until she could sit in his lap. “I’ve known my whole life, since I was old enough to understand such things, I would be a sacrifice, I would die. I did not intend to give myself. I had visions of going out fighting or sometimes, if I was really dramatic, winning. I don’t mean to imply you can’t keep me safe. I have to shift how I think and speak about it.”
“I’m being a temperamental ass.”
She turned in his lap, pressing her face against his chest. “Yes, but you’re my temperamental ass.”
Savage snorted.
Max and George’s scents wafted toward them and she turned to see the two guards arriving. “We’re sorry to interrupt, my Alpha.” Max spoke. “The package you’ve been waiting for from the Montana Alpha arrived. We thought you’d want to know.”
“You were right.” Savage answered George before he kissed her neck where his mark displayed. “I’ve made some decisions, gentlemen. George you are going to be my mate’s chief guard. I leave you to her care when I’m not with her. Assemble a team to help you. Five while we’re here, then as many as you want when we get home. Her safety is my top priority.”
Sydney looked between George and Savage. She had a guard—no scratch that—a team of guards? What did that mean? What was she supposed to do with them?
“Savage.”
He patted her on the side before he scooted her off his lap to stand up. George’s eyes as he gawked at the two of them were huge. Only the night before he’d been rude, then sorry, and then visibly upset. She’d promised to keep the knowledge from Savage, which both did and did not sit well with her.
Now he was her guard. How had that all happened?
“I will not fail you, my Alpha.”
Savage patted George’s arm. “I know you won’t. Wherever she wants to go, she goes. Never alone.”
“I’m not sure I’m happy about being followed.”
Her mate bent forward to kiss her lips. “In this case, I don’t care.” He turned away. “Max, you’re with me. Back to the house and the killing of childhood nightmares. Did you know the Garto when you were a kid, Max? Or was it only my parents who played with those stories? Hayden doesn’t even remember them. “
Sydney stood next to George and watched her mate stroll away chatting with Max as though he hadn’t responded to her complaint about not wanting a permanent guard by telling her he didn’t care. She put her hands on her hips. Her father ordered her mother around, and it was the norm in her life. But Savage had seemed different.
Whatever she wanted, he’d told her.
“Your safety will always come above all other things.”
George’s words brought her out of her haze.
“What?”
“The Alpha is protective of everyone. I can’t imagine it won’t be tenfold with you. He’s given me a great honor placing me in charge of you. If he knew about last night, perhaps he wouldn’t have made such a decision.”
It did seem coincidental he’d picked George, but she didn’t have to live with Savage long to know he acted purposefully. “Interesting for sure. Well, I guess we’re together until I can convince him I’m not in danger at my farm. I want to visit with the children.”
“Absolutely. I do think he believes you are safe here. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said for me to pick five. He would have given me all twenty.”
Twenty men following her around all the time? She couldn’t even imagine.
****
The girls sat around her, all holding their sewing.
Elena, the second to youngest at seven years old, looked at her with tear-filled eyes. “We didn’t want to lose you to the Garto, sister.”
“I know.” She reached out to stroke the darling’s hair. “We’ve talked about this many times. I didn’t want to leave you. If I do, we’ll see each other again with the Moon around us and all our ancestors smiling.”
She’d said the same speech over and over for years. Having to make everyone else feel better about her upcoming death was a special kind of hell. She looked up, catching George’s gaze. He wasn’t rolling his eyes.
Instead, he squatted down next to her. “You don’t need to worry, sweetheart. The Alpha will save your sister.”
Right, she was supposed to be thinking along those lines instead of assuming the worst. What if she did and then nothing worked out? How could she let herself be hopeful and then, what, die? Wouldn’t that be so much worse? Wasn’t it better to be happy later if things miraculously worked out? By the Moon, she was so confused.
“Savage is the magical Garto killer. He will save our family from this cycle.”
Elena squeezed her hand. “Then we’ll lose you to him. You’ll go away and never come here.”
Sydney’s head might explode if she clenched her jaw any tighter.
“Why don’t we sing a song? One of the fun sewing ones? Mama will like it when she comes outside and sees us singing to the sun and the moon. Who wants to pick one?”
Sydney grabbed an extra needle, twisting her legs under her until she sat crisscross with the other girls. “Elena, since you’re so chatty, you pick the song. Go on, now.”
“I don’t feel like singing, sister.” Elena shook her head. “We only have days. You will be dead and the many will not beat the fallen.”
She stroked the girl’s hair. “I’m afraid I don’t know what the prayer or the words from it means.”
A tear slipped from Elena’s eye. “You can’t feel it? The end?”
She felt a lot of things. But never as alone as she did sitting on the floor surrounded by family. Even Savage, not far away in the guest house, couldn’t make it better. He would want to, if he could understand. She’d been born to die at the hands of The Garto. If she lived, if she died, she’d do it all by herself. Surrounded by people, she could still be all alone.
Savage would try to save her. He wanted her to believe he could. She did. But, just in case, she had to keep living as she always had. Sometimes people had sucky roles to fill and the fact that destiny sometimes felt horrible didn’t mean she didn’t have to walk the path regardless. If her mate couldn’t make the Garto go away, she’d die knowing she saved the others.
There was glory in protecting family. There was righteousness in knowing she’d lived a good life. The Moon must have thought so too, or he wouldn’t have gifted her Savage. A week of heaven.
“What I can feel is it is tickle time.”
Elena’s shrieks of joy made the time pass better. They always did.
Chapter Seven
Savage threw down the books. His brother, who sat across from on the opposite couch, looked up. “Problem?”
He shook his head. “I’m not getting any useful information. Nothing I didn’t know. Big, giant, scary werewolf monster who frightens children. Eats them. Big, bad.”
Hayden nodded. “I’m not seeing anything else either. How could we have a Garto running around the United States and not have anyone know? I mean, shouldn’t someone have heard this before?”
His words resonated in Savage’s head. “We don’t have an Alpha Prime. But we did. For a long time. And this Garto nonsense has been going on for the Moon knows how long. I don’t believe someone as type-A as Lucian couldn’t have had a clue there was a Garto running around.”
Hayden tapped his foot. “You make a good point. The man seemed to know everything. Trust me, I was there to watch him control the entire United States from his various living rooms. He knew the smallest details of every pack. There’s no pack in Idaho, there never was. Doesn’t mean he didn’t know what was going on.”
“So maybe he did know.”
Savage’s brain buzzed. “Did he keep journals?”
He hated how his brother had so much knowledge about Lucian. It had been gained from years of mental and sometimes physical abuse at the hands of a man who should have had a better way.
“He did. Meticulously. Unfortunately, the only one who has them since Lucian’s murder is Alexei. The call went out, Lucian was dead, he and his pack arrived, took Lucian’s stuff, and off they went before I could stop them.”
Savage nodded. “Of course, Alexei. Who the fuck else?”
“You really hate him.”
He stood. It had been hours since he’d seen Sydney, and he was starting to feel twitchy. Was she okay?
“How are you staying away from your mate for so long?”
Didn’t Hayden want to hurl something across the room?
“It rides you hard at first. Chelsea doesn’t go into heat, she’s human. My understanding is our desire for them, for our mates, it cools with the bite a bit. Takes months to really let up on us. A couple of shifts at least.” Hayden shook his head and held up his phone. “We text all day. Skyped already twice since I got up. I’m a little jumpy. Since you opened this door.”
Shit. Savage should have kept his damned mouth shut. His brother was taking every opportunity to drive him nuts.
“What would you like to talk about, Hayden? What uncomfortable topic should we fucking bring up today?”
“Anything.” Hayden rose and gripped his shirt. “If nothing else, maybe you could tell me why you hate me so much? I’d like to know. I’m going to be a father. If I’m lucky, more than once. I’d love for the kids not to end up like us. I’d like to understand what I did to make you to immensely dislike me so much.”
Savage stopped. There had been several times in his life when he had been stunned into not knowing exactly what to say. When his father had caught him in an orgy he’d been speechless. The day he’d finally destroyed the former Alpha in San Francisco, he’d stood dumbly while everyone congratulated him on his kill. The day the Moon gifted him with Sydney, he’d been a real idiot with nothing good coming out of his mouth.
Hayden’s statement struck him mute.
He wasn’t sure how long they both stood there staring at each other, Hayden waiting for a worthy response to a declaration made from what had to be the depths of his most private thoughts.
“Well?” Hayden threw his hands in the air.
“Why do you think I hate you?” He withdrew a step. If this was going to come to blows he didn’t want to break any furniture. In the corner, there were fewer things to destroy.
Hayden ran a hand over his head. “Because you threw me out of your pack and you yell at me all the time. Talking to me clearly makes you tense. Dealing with Max or some of the others, you actually laugh. When have you and I ever laughed together? Explain it to me, Savage, so I don’t fuck up my kids.”
He should walk away. Put him off like he always did. Things were easier when they weren’t discussed. Only…shit.
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You’re my brother.” His throat hurt. Shit, he didn’t want to be doing this.
Hayden shook his head. “Those things are not mutually exclusive.”
“To me they are.” Savage shouted. If his brother wanted to open the dam then, fuck, that was what they would fucking do. “I was too young to remember your birth except somehow I do. You came and I understood you were my responsibility because fuck if the people who raised us were going to see to all the things you needed. Thirteen months old. I read somewhere children aren’t supposed to have memory yet. Or at least humans don’t. But, fuck, Hayden, I do.”
His brother’s face fell. “Savage.”
“You’re going to let me finish. You want to talk? Fine, I’m talking. Then I grew up and you were always there. Sometimes I liked it, sometimes I hated the ground you walked on or the air you breathed. But you were there. Let’s face it, let’s be honest, I was all kinds of fucked up. Yeah, I keep cursing. The things I wanted, desired, thought about—Dad called me perverse. You never were. So I shut up. I wasn’t going to bother anyone with my shit. Especially you. Hayden who never did anything wrong. “
Hayden took a step toward him. “What are you talking about…?”
“You weren’t paying attention. I sometimes had sex with men if the girl wanted to see it, if it got her hot. And Dad saw. He knew. He beat the shit out of me. Over and over again. He wanted to make the wrong leave my body. Sent me off to Lucian’s that summer hoping the Alpha Prime could make me right. What happened there? Lucian picked me and not you to be Alpha. He put me in his ‘let’s give this boy a future’ program and shoved you in…I don’t even know what they did to you, but one day I woke up and realized you were gone. My brother was there in body and his spirit was gone. Alexei was beating you up. The other assholes. I’ll never forgive them. Ever. You looked out on the world from dead eyes. You were my little brother. I could remember you birth and I was too…weak…to protect you.”
“Savage.” Hayden looked away. “I think….”
“I’m going to fucking finish. You were gone. In Lucian’s house, I couldn’t get to you. I beat the crap out of Alexei after he laid hands on you. I…I promised myself I would make it right. You were always twice the man I was. I won San Francisco, so fucking what? Hayden’s on Lucian’s farm having the Moon knows what done to him. Who cares what I was doing? I promised the Moon, the universe, whatever, I would make it right. Lucian died. You came home. I couldn’t keep you there. What were you going to do in my pack? You never belonged with me. You didn’t want the same things I did. You weren’t going to put on a show at the heat parties. I gave you Napa. And fuck. Look what you’ve done. Fuck Lucian for not seeing you were the better man. Fuck all of it. I’ll always do whatever you need, Hayden.” He wiped at his face. Shit, he was crying. “Chelsea needed saving, I did it. You, your mate, that baby—you need something, you’ve got it.” He wiped at his face. How pathetic could he get? “Fuck you for this. I’m done.”
Savage stormed from the room. All the way upstairs into the bathroom where he sat down in the tub. Anyone tried to get near him right then and he’d beat them to death. Except for Sydney. But even she would have to wait outside.
Sometime later, a knock sounded on the door. Savage lay in the empty tub and sniffed the air. Whoever was out there hid their scent, which eliminated his mate. She didn’t know how to do so, and he didn’t want to show her. So much better she was so unguarded. His head throbbed.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Hayden. I’m coming in so you better not be naked.”
His brother stepped in the bathroom and stared at him for a moment.
Savage sighed loudly. “I can’t do round two.”
“I don’t want it. There are things I need to say.”
The intervening minutes allowed him to build up his walls. He was okay to be who everyone wanted him to be again. “Have at it.”
His brother stayed in the doorway. “Nothing you did, I mean ever, do you ever need to feel bad about.”
“Hayden….”
His younger sibling pointed at him. “You’re going to listen to me. You don’t see yourself as everyone else does. I don’t even remember half the shit you brought up. Alexei beating me, most of the stuff that went down with Lucian. I was half out of my mind. Wanna know why it wasn’t totally gone? Because I knew I could go home. You were there. I didn’t know Dad gave you crap about the sex parties. I’m pretty sure he didn’t want me to know. I would have beat him if I’d known he was raising a hand on you.” Hayden looked away. “Thank you for Napa, for Chelsea. I don’t know why I didn’t see what should have been so obvious.”
“Hayden.” His headache had become a real, palpable entity in the room. Hayden needed to get out. “Enough.”
“You should have been Alpha Prime, Savage. The only one who doesn’t know is you.”
A tear slipped from his brother’s eye before he stormed from the bathroom
.
Savage closed his eyes and leaned in the empty tub, letting his head hit the marble. Enough with the fucked-up day.
****
Hours later, Savage wandered outside. His mate was on the grass in front of the main house with her siblings. They were laughing, at least five of the children hanging on her body. She still wore her shapeless clothes.
She was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.
When he approached, George walked up to him. “She’s been at this for hours. The kids are exhausted. Her parents haven’t stepped in here once. I mean, really, she’s amazing.”
“She is.” Because she had the kind of heart to forgive George immediately and love on her siblings all day.
George stared at him for a second. “Are you okay?”
He shot the man a look to let him know they weren’t those kinds of pals. “Fine.”
His pack member nodded fast. “Great, my Alpha. I appreciate your faith in me. It means… everything.”
Keeping secret that he knew what had happened the night before proved harder than he thought. “I trust you to have her best interests first and foremost in your mind at all times.”
George nodded fast. “I do.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Sydney’s eyes met his. She grinned until her smile fell. What had made her stop smiling? He looked around. Nothing seemed off. Sydney pulled one of the kids off her and sauntered over toward him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He moaned, wondering for a moment which one of them was in heat.
“You okay?” She pulled away to look at him.
“Fine.” He bit her neck because he could. “Why?”
“When you walked up, I was suddenly convinced you were sad.”
He tried to smile which probably made him look deranged. Moon help him, he was trying really hard to not be screwed up. They had too much to do. “Not sad.”
She shook her head once. “I’ll finish up here and come to the guest house.”