Copyright 2014 Shelly Crane
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ISBN-13: 978-1499602395
ISBN-10: 1499602391
For Axel.
These past two years have been anything but easy. When we said ‘til death do us part’ you never imagined that this was what you were signing up for, did you? But these past couple years have been such a blessing, too. I never have to wonder if dinner will be taken care of, or if the kids have brushed their teeth, or just if…everything will be okay.
Thank you for that.
We don’t know what will happen in the years to come, I know that, but I know that you’ll be there, and nothing is more amazing than knowing that the one person I love most in the world is the one person who loves me back. Thank you for being you, for getting me, for being sarcastic, for being willing to do what needs to be done. When it’s your turn, I’ll be there.
I love you more.
I stood there and watched as he married Clara, as he turned away from everything that we stood for and became human in every way possible. And somehow he was dragging me down with him. I was changing, I could feel it. Ever since that human had gotten her claws in my brother and bonded to him, I had begun to change, too—though I’d never admit that to anyone.
I stood there and watched as she looked up at him and I knew she loved him. I wanted to be happy for him—I came back for his wedding for God’s sakes—but that was the problem wasn’t it? I wasn’t supposed to be happy for him. I wasn’t supposed to want to see him get married or anything else. This whole thing was making me soft. I hated that I cared. Though the bond wasn’t there anymore, there was still a lingering in the back of my mind that made me wonder how they were doing.
And it pissed me right off.
As soon as they said I do and he took her in his human arms, holding her and kissing her, I stormed down the aisle. I’d done my brotherly duty, hadn’t I? I was done with this charade of human bullcrap. So done. I got into the car that I’d hotwired and went back into town. I went into the first bar I saw and dared anyone to look at me except the one person I was after.
The brunette in the corner would work just fine. She favored Clara a bit and I smiled at the satisfaction that was going to give me. She was standing by the jukebox looking through the songs with a beer in her hand. I stalked up behind her slowly and let my eyes roam the selection as I let my thighs press against the back of hers. Her breath swept from her lips in a hiss. She turned to put me in my place, but immediately lost her train of thought when our gazes collided. Her lips fell open, but it wasn’t to reprimand me for my behavior. Her eyes moved to my lips and back up again. I felt them form into a grin. Ah, so good to be bad again.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she returned, no voice, just breath.
“Find anything good?” Her eyes widened a little. “On the jukebox.”
“Oh,” she said and turned back, snapping out of the trance finally. She cleared her throat and clutched her beer bottle to her chest like a security blanket. “Not yet. Nice accent.”
“Thanks. Mind if I…?” I pointed and leaned in to see the song titles.
“Find something to dance to,” she ordered.
I looked over and knew this was in the bag. I didn’t need to feed the meter on this deal any longer. She was practically salivating as her hips swayed before I’d even put the quarter in the jukebox. I took her arm in my hand and leaned in. “I’d rather go somewhere, if I’m being honest. Just you and me.”
“Ok,” she couldn’t say quickly enough. “My place is—”
“Too far.” My hands gripping those hips tightly, I pushed her out the back door to the dark spot I knew would be there. I let the door slam behind me and turned her to face me, pressing her back to the wall. Her dazed eyes tried to focus on mine. I smiled inside—and I hadn’t even started yet. This was too easy. “Right here is just fine.”
“But, someone might come back here.”
“No one will come,” I assured her, pushing my persuasion into every word. “And if they do, I’ll bloody well take care of them. But what I really want is to take care of you.”
I opened my senses up, wide open, and let my nose coast across her cheek to her ear. Her fingers gripped my shirt and her breath caught. I could taste her lust all over my tongue and all I wanted was to drown in it. I smiled and let my lips touch her skin. “What’s your name?”
“Isabella.”
I rolled my eyes. “Isabella. What a sweet name. Do you taste as sweet as you sound?”
She smiled, almost shyly. “You are awfully good at that.”
“What?”
“Making me feel like you actually want me for more than just a good time.”
I paused and looked at her eyes. Green. Like Clara’s. My God…I was ruined, wasn’t I? She smiled again and rubbed my chest.
“Don’t worry, slick. I’m not about to go all Wicker Park on you. I was just saying that it’s obvious you’ve had some practice at this.” Her smile was genuine. It wasn’t a sloppy, come-hither look they usually are when women in places like this try to get with a man. It was so completely genuine. It enraged me in my soul that I noticed this, let alone cared.
I didn’t say anything else, I just moved in, letting my lips touch hers. The harder I pressed, the more she fed me. My eyes rolled back into my head at having my first good meal in days. The more clothes disappeared, the more I felt like my true self was coming back, the more evil I felt.
When it was all over and we dressed, I started to walk away without a word, but she asked me for my name. I let it build slowly. I wanted to feel like the Devourer I knew I was so I unleashed the terror on her, seeing her eyes search around and the way she skittered into the back wall and covered her face with nowhere else to go.
And I fed.
I fed on her terror and fright and it tasted like heaven in my mouth. But as I looked down at that woman who had just given herself to me, and I hadn’t even had to persuade her to, it washed over me all at once how I didn’t really want to hurt her. That I wanted to hurt people, but not her. Not really. I had gotten everything I needed from her without doing that, hadn’t I? I was full and sated. Now I was just letting my true nature take over, letting the devourer in me come out and play.
But wasn’t that what I was supposed to do? I looked down at that woman and was so confused. I cursed Clara and Eli and all their love and human bullcrap for turning me into the thing that I was now.
No. I realized then that this was my turning point. That if I let this gi
rl go, that I would be just like my brother one day and that wasn’t what I wanted. I was not going to be some human. I was a devourer. My chin ached from clenching it so tightly. I turned my glare fully on her and knew that honestly it wasn’t her fault, but she was about to pay the price for my brother’s mistake.
“I’m sorry, love.” I lifted her by her arms and then leaned into her, pressing her to the wall.
“For what?” her small voice asked, falsely reassured by my about-face. “What are you doing to me?”
“I’m sorry that our night is just beginning.”
She seemed to understand and her face crumpled. “Please. I’m sorry for whatever I said to—”
“It’s not you,” I told her and grinned as evilly as I could muster, “it’s me.”
“Fay Hopkins.”
I rose slowly and stood, looking at the judge, awaiting my fate. I prayed his next words showed me mercy that I myself hadn’t bestowed upon anyone in the last year. I had been bitter and angry, and no one was safe from my wrath. Especially not Clara. I closed my eyes as I remembered all the things I’d said to her.
“Miss Hopkins, it is the decision of this court that you be dishonorably discharged for your actions on…”
I tuned out the rest, but got the gist. Oh…what was I going to do now? I had nowhere to go. The military was all I had. Pastor and Mrs. Ruth weren’t my family like they were Clara’s. I barely knew them. Clara had run off and married some idiot boy and they moved. I had her last letter. I’m sure she thought I never kept them, but I did.
I had no choice but to eat a ton of crow and go find her. Who knew—she may not even want me now. I may have waited too long. I was really angry with her. I mean, I still was. She did get the easy street in all this and then wanted me to put Band-Aids on everything like when we were little and make everything better. But she was too naïve to see that everything wasn’t going to be better.
And I was young, too. It wasn’t my responsibility to deal with.
The judge’s gavel banging made me jump and he glared at me for daydreaming. “I see even now that nothing gets through to you. You’re dismissed. I hope once you get home and are surrounded by people you know and are used to that it can help you to see that the world isn’t out to get you, Miss Hopkins. The world is actually a pretty fair place.”
I felt the scoff rising from my soul. “Not from where I stand.”
I turned, grabbing my bag, and left without a backward look.
_________
My Jetta made it about a hundred miles past the Montana state line before the engine gave out. I was almost completely out of cash, hadn’t slept properly in days, hadn’t eaten a real meal that wasn’t from a gas station in I didn’t know how long. I left my car smoking on the side of road and shook my head as I headed across the street to the motel. The difference between a motel and a hotel was night and day in small towns like this. It could mean the difference between getting sliced in the middle of the night, but it was all that I could see.
I prayed—again with the praying, like someone was listening—that there was a room for less than thirty dollars. Otherwise, I was screwed. Because I only had thirty-five dollars to my name and that five dollars was my dinner for the night. Tomorrow would have to worry about itself.
A car honked as it barely missed me, skidding past on the road behind me. I didn’t even know what town I was in. I just knew I was close to Clara. I opened the door, the chime of the doorbell and the smell of muck and cigarettes slamming into me. I coughed, offending the young attendant. He scowled at me and cocked his head. “Can I help you, duchess?”
“Do you have a room, please?” I asked in my most pleading, small voice.
He thought, pausing. “For the night or for the week?”
“Just for the night.”
“Working girl?” He smiled. I tried not to cringe.
“No. Just traveling through on my way to see my sister.”
His look of interest went away and so did my hope of getting a room. “Seventy-nine plus tax.”
“Please…is there anything cheaper than that?”
“You can take the room or get out of here. I ain’t running a charity.”
I sighed and turned to go. I could sleep in my car, I just didn’t want to. As soon as I got inside, I tried to lock the doors, but my battery was dead. The automatic doors locks wouldn’t work; nothing did, with the battery dead. I sighed again and laughed. It turned hysterical as I laid my head on the steering wheel.
Nothing was working out for me anymore. Nothing. The world was giving me the big middle finger. I deserved it. I leaned back and hoped that no one messed with me while I slept. I couldn’t even lay my seat back because the seat was powered. So I sat there and closed my eyes, trying to forget my mess of a life for a moment so I could sleep.
Eventually, I did sleep. I dreamt someone was touching me. I moved my face toward his hand and he chuckled. That seemed to wake me and I opened my eyes to find the motel attendant crouching down next to me with my car door open. I opened my mouth, but before I could scream or say anything, he covered it roughly with his hand. I could tell my eyes were as wide as tangerines. He smiled at me and said softly, “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
I scoffed beneath his hand and his smile widened. He gripped my arm and tugged me out of my car and pressed me to the side of it.
“I’ll give you a place to stay for the night. No charge. You give me a little something in return, okay?” I shook my head hard under his hand and he gripped me to stop it. “No harm, no foul. You need a place to stay and I like you. What’s the problem?” I mumbled under his palm. He laughed a little. “No screaming, beautiful.”
My skin literally crawled under my clothes as he let his hand slide from my mouth to my neck. “I said I’m not into that kind of thing. I’m fine in my car, but thanks.”
I waited, my breath pulling from my lungs painfully.
“Ah, honey,” he drawled and I knew it was over, “this isn’t a negotiation.”
I turned to run, but he had a handful of my hair before I could get anywhere. I used my elbow to his gut and he ‘oophed’, which just upset him more. He was a lot bigger than me. He opened the backdoor of my car and tried to shove me in. I knew if he got me in there, I wasn’t coming back out. So I fought as hard as I could, used every bit of training I could recall, but honestly, I’d done basic training and that was it. People thought just because you were in the military that you were some kind of killing machine. That’s not what it meant at all.
When I got a good palm jab to his nose, he cursed and that was it for me. Any bit of gentleness he’d been reserving for me was gone. He held my arm behind my back and yanked the handful of hair in his fist so tight that I saw stars. “You little b—”
“What have we here?”
We both turned to look at the man who was standing near the back of the car. He had an accent and looked like death warmed over. He was pale and disheveled; his hair was a mess and his clothes wrinkled and dirty. He stared at me, his mouth open, and though he seemed to be trying to help me, he also seemed to be enraptured and licked his lip more than once as he looked between the man and me.
“None of your business,” the man barked. “Scram.”
The interrupter looked at me and watched. His eyes…were purple. I could see that even in the darkness. He licked his bottom lip again, but gave me an almost sad look as he began to back away. A sob escaped my throat at the fact that I’d never reach Clara, never get to tell her that I was sorry, that I’d been wrong to blame her just because I happened to be older when our parents died. Of course I’d been given more responsibility. Of course people were going to expect more from me. But she’d never know that I loved her. She’d never know.
Another sob rose when my captor actually chuckled, realizing that my rescuer wasn’t rescuing me at all, but was backing away. I had nothing left to hold back for, so I let is all go. It bubbled up and my chest ached so har
d. The guy who had interrupted us gasped and looked at me over his shoulder, his eyes lidded, and he swayed. I was so confused as to what was going on, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t helping me and the man wasn’t waiting any longer. He turned to put me in the car. I started to fight, but no matter how hard I fought, he was overpowering me. He raised his arm back, slapping my cheek and then slamming his fist into my gut when I kept fighting. I could barely breathe through the pain as I gagged and gasped. That effectively ended all movement from me.
“Now, stop fighting me,” he growled and pushed me back into the car, lifting my legs. “I’m actually a good guy once you get to know me.”
Then he was gone. I gasped at the sudden movement and clasped my stomach, finally able to breathe and get some relief. The interrupter stood there, one arm outstretched into the air, which he’d slung the man off with.
“I somehow doubt that,” he said, his voice grating.
He fell to his knees, looking worse than I did somehow. I looked between the two of them, one way across the road sprawled on the sidewalk, and one on his knees as he held on to his last bit of alertness. He swayed and stared up at me. “If you want to wait for him to wake up, then that’s fine, but I suggest that we go.”
“We?” I breathed.
“I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m not exactly…doing so hot.” He swayed again, catching himself on his fist in the dirt. I moved forward to put my hands on his shoulders to help steady him. “Where are you staying tonight? Your car’s done for,” he stated the ever-so-obvious.
“I didn’t have enough for a room,” I told him softly. I leaned down to look at his face. “I was sleeping in my car.”
“Help me up.”
Under normal circumstances, I would have told him to go to hell, but he had just saved me and he was obviously distressed himself…to some degree. I didn’t know what was wrong with him, but I couldn’t walk away after he’d helped me. I pulled on his arm until he was standing over me. He looked down at me, seeming to study me. He looked like he was starving. He took the ends of my hair in between his fingers and rubbed it for a few seconds before letting it fall.