Page 20
Author: Kirsty Moseley
"Riley, ok I promise, I won't do that again it was my fault, I shouldn't have" he said, I could hear the pain in his voice, he was really regretting it.
"It's not anyone's fault Clay but you're my best friend in the world and I want it to stay that way ok?" I said smiling now. I could do this, I could get past this and we would be fine.
"Ok, listen Riley I gotta go" he said quietly.
"Ok bye" I said smiling. That's done, we can still be friends, I don't care how hard this is I need to have him with me I'll do anything it takes, even if it rips out my heart.
I hung up and laid back on my bed looking at my ceiling, my phone rang and I answered it without looking at the caller id expecting it to be Rachel, she usually rang the morning after a party to tell me all about any hook ups from the night before. "Hey Rach" I said with a small smile, maybe some gossiping would bring me out of the depression I could feel myself slipping into.
"Err no Jailbait its me" Blake said uncomfortably, I sat up quickly, shit what the hell am I gonna say? After what happened last night with Clay I gasped and squirmed uncomfortably.
"Oh hi Blake" I said with wide eyes.
"Did you get my messages?" he asked quietly.
"Err yeah I just got them a couple of minutes ago" I said nervously.
"Ok well do you think I could come over and we could talk?" he asked a little hopefully. I looked at the clock it was just after 12.
"Um sure ok, my Mom and stepdad are leaving at two why don't you come over after that?" I said biting my lip hoping he would say no. I just didn't want this, I wanted Clay.
My Mom and Brian were driving to a friends wedding this afternoon and were making a weekend of it staying in a hotel until Monday so I had all weekend on my own. My parents had asked Clay to come and stay with me so I wasn't in the house on my own which was going to be awkward as hell tonight, I sighed at the thought. "Yeah ok, I'll come over about half two then" he said excited, "See ya Jailbait" he said.
"Mmm bye" I said closing my eyes again. I pushed myself up off of the bed and went downstairs to spend some time with my parents before they left and tried my best to forget everything that happened last night.
At exactly two thirty the doorbell rang, I answered it to see Blake standing there with a big grin and a bunch of flowers, I smiled, he's so sweet. "Hey jailbait" he said walking in a little awkwardly handing me the flowers, "Hey, thanks you shouldn't have" I said smelling them and heading to the kitchen to put them in a vase.
"I wanted to, I needed to apologise for being an ass" he said rubbing his hand on the small of my back gently.
"Well your forgiven" I said with a smile, he stepped forward then and kissed me hard. I didn't kiss him back at first I was too shocked, Clays face flashed in my mind but I pushed it away and kissed him back.
The kiss felt nice but wrong, this wasn't how I was meant to be kissed a small part of me was saying. I reached my hand up and tangled my hands in his hair, he put his hands on my h*ps and lifted me onto the kitchen counter stepping forwards so his body was between my legs. He moaned as I sucked on his lip ring, he ran his hands slowly up my thighs until he got to the top of my legs then moved them to the small of my back pulling me closer to him. He broke the kiss only to place little kisses down my neck, he stopped suddenly and pulled back.
"What the f**k is that?" he said frowning looking at my neck, oh crap the love bite!
"That's nothing, just a joke Clay did it for a laugh, it's kinda his thing he's done it since we were kids" I said uncomfortably shifting around on the counter.
"He gave you a love bite for a joke?" he asked shaking his head in disbelief and slamming his hands down on the counter either side of me angrily making me jump. Holy crap he's got a short fuse!
"Blake, it was a joke last night at the party that's all, nothing was meant by it, we are just friends" I said the last part slowly emphasising each word.
He bit his lip looking torn, I could see the jealousy and anger clear on his face but he was trying hard not to let it out. "Listen, Clay and I have a very close friendship, I've known him since I was four years old, you have nothing to be jealous of, if you want to try to make this work then you're gonna need to get used to it, Clay is always gonna be there" I said sternly. Half of me was praying that he would just turn and walk out.
I didn't like doing this, it felt wrong, made me feel cheap and used to be with someone when I wasn't into it. But another part of me wanted him to tell me that it's ok, to make me forget Clay, to make me want to be with him and stop me hurting and wanting my best friend when he didn't want me. I had a feeling that if I tried hard enough I could easily fall for this guy, he was sweet, hot, funny and easy to be with. I bit my lip and waited for him to speak.
"It's just weird that's all, I'm not used to having to share a girl's attention, but then again I'm not used to wanting to be with a girl other than for sex" he said rubbing his jaw nervously. He stepped forwards to me again and the selfish part of me that wanted to feel better rejoiced. "I really like you Riley, but we're gonna have a lot of problems, your age for one thing, it's actually not legal for me to do anything with you until your 18" he said frowning. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, he responded immediately with a small moan pulling me to him again sliding his hands up my sides to cup my breasts, he squeezed them roughly moaning again. Ok ouch they are attached jeez!
"This sort of thing isn't allowed then?" I asked as he kissed down my neck again licking my skin, I felt him sigh.
"This is allowed but I can't actually go all the way with you, I'm allowed to do everything else" he said looking at me with a wicked grin that made me gulp. Ok I wasn't expecting things to move on that fast.
"Err, what about Clay?" I asked trying to change the subject, the look in his eye told me he wanted to jump here and now and it scared me a little. I wasn't ready for things to move this quickly with him, Clay on the other hand I would have sex with right now, NO! Stop torturing yourself, Clay doesn't want you like that.
He sighed looking slightly angry again, "Well I told you I'll just have to deal with it" he said bending forward to kiss me hard again.
I held my breath, ok is he saying he wants us to have a relationship or he wants to use me? I pushed him back and climbed off the counter, "We're not done talking stud" I said walking into the living room and plopping on the couch, he sat next to me looking confused.
"Well what else is there to talk about?" he asked nuzzling my neck.
"Well I wont be used, I'm not gonna sleep with you, if you want to be with me then we take things slow" I said sternly. He looked a little taken aback but nodded slowly, "I'm assuming that you being a player means that you've never been in a real relationship before right?" I asked smiling at the thought, bless him he's an emotional virgin.
"Err yeah, I've never really had a girlfriend" he said honestly looking a little embarrassed about it.
I nodded again, "Ok well here's how it works then, you need to trust me, and I won't let you cheat on me, if you want to be with other girls go be with them, if you want to be with me then you commit to it" I said, he smiled at that.
"I haven't even looked at another girl for the last 6 weeks" he said proudly. Wow does he honestly think that that's gonna impress me? I giggled.
"Six weeks isn't a long time Blake" I said giggling again.
"Hey it is for me, I'm usually with a different girl every other night but since I met you I just don't want anyone else, it might not sound like a big deal to you but trust me that has never happened to me before" he said defensively, ok I guess that is quite sweet in a weird man-whore kind of way.
"Ok then I get it, you've refrained from sex for six weeks I'm impressed" I said rolling my eyes a little, he chuckled and kissed my neck, "Still not done stud" I said pushing him back again.
"Jeez what more is there?" he asked throwing his hands up theatrically.
"I'm a virgin" I said quietly trying not to blush, his eyes widened in shock.
"You're kidding me" he said a small smile playing on his lips.
"Nope not kidding" I said frowning, why the hell is he smiling at me like that? "What's so funny?" I asked annoyed, was he laughing at me? He pushed me down onto the couch and laid on top of me smiling his ass off as he kissed me again. Ok what the hell is up with him?
I pushed him back, "What?" asked a little breathless from the kiss.
"I've never been with a virgin before" he said kissing down my neck. I closed my eyes and tried not to wince at the thought of being with him, letting him do the things that Clay had done, go further even. The thought scared me, I wanted Clay so badly, I wanted him to be my first and that feeling hadn't gone away at all, but hopefully in time it would. I would just have to keep trying to forget him and take things slow.
"Slow down stud, your getting way ahead of yourself there" I said chuckling as he bit my ear lobe.
"Ok well your just gonna have to tell me how fast you want to go, this virgin and minor thing is all new to me" he said sounding excited.
"Oh great so now I'm some kind of project?" I asked laughing, he laughed too and rolled off me onto his side so that we were facing each other and wrapped his arm around me. It felt nice, different but still nice.
"You're not a project, I just don't want to do anything you don't want me to" he said running his hand up my side smiling at me. We chatted easily for a while, he was really easy to get along with and actually quite funny, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong, that he was wrong, my body and soul ached for Clay to be here with me like this.
About an hour later we were making out on the couch, he had his hand up my top and was massaging my breasts, he'd taken his top off and I was slowly trailing my hands down his chest being careful not to go too far down to give him the wrong impression. This already felt like we were moving way too fast, but doing this was almost keeping my mind off of Clay. I say almost as I still couldn't help comparing everything to Clay, his body, his taste, how he moved his hands. He was a lot rougher than Clay, more forceful and demanding, not tender or loving.