Am I Dreaming?
Deliah Kiester
Copyright 2014 Deliah Kiester
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I didn't know where I was running, only to get away from whatever lurked in the shadows behind me. Every step I took, it took three long strides. I could feel the rank breath on my shoulder; hear its distinctive evil giggle.
I had seen it before in my dreams. It always changed its face; making sure it was a part of any dream I had. Even the dreams of peace and tranquility, I knew it was there behind the tree that I rested against as I watched a colt chase its own shadow or sensing it watching me from the corner of the room as I did the horizontal tango with Gerard Butler.
I never knew what it wanted from me and I never wanted to learn it. I knew better than to let it catch up with me.
I kept running down the dimly lit hallway with the decaying rug that reeked of mildew. The walls were lined with doors but something inside of me knew each of them would lead to my doom, or only slow me down with a knob that wouldn't turn. The farther I ran, the narrower the hall became. Just as the pain in my chest became too sharp for me to handle, the hall ended abruptly, only wide enough for the door that I now faced. It was a different door than the false ones I had passed. With fear high in my throat, I looked behind me. The previous doors had disappeared and I no longer sensed that thing. Either it wanted me to go through the door or I would be safe inside. Seeing no other choice, I put my hand on the crystal knob that was cold in my sweaty palm, pulled opened the heavy oak door, and stepped inside. The door slammed behind me and I heard the locking mechanism engage.
A chill ran up my spine. I stood in another hallway, only this one much more elegant than the last. The inside wall was of oak that framed frosted glass windows. The lights about my head were bright and crystal gems that dangled beneath them and were low enough to touch. They were cold at my fingertips, much like the door knob. As the gems clinked together the lights danced around me.
I could hear whispers coming from my right and I let my feet carry me towards it. I couldn't make out words, but I followed the sounds for a few yards before it stopped. I noticed the hall seemed to curve in a slight circle. I looked to my right and there was another door that matched the one I had come through. As I debated entering it, I heard the crystal gems hitting one another farther up the hall. The air around me thickened and I knew it was coming for me now.
I quickly weighed my options. To chance the door, or hope the hall wasn't a circle and I wouldn't end up face to face with the boogeyman.
I threw open the door as the crystals got louder and closer to me. I was faced with another curving hallway and another door. I opened it just as I heard his taunting laughter. I came upon yet another identical hall and chose to follow it.
I could feel my chest tightening again as I pushed through my exhaustion and I came to a door that looked rather uninviting. Seeing no other choice, I pushed in and slammed it shut behind me. I sat down with my back against its cracked and splintering boards. I was out of breath and my heart was about to pound through my chest. I pulled my knees up and pressed my forehead against them, trying everything I could to regulate my breathing and keep from hyperventilating. "I'm ok, I'm ok. It's not there. Nothing there, nothing there," I continued to repeat to myself, saying it faster and faster until it was all one word. That's when I heard voices, no longer the whispers I had heard earlier.
I unfolded myself. I was in a room that was filled with clutter coated with dust so thick that it could only have occurred after many years of accumulation.
Behind a table that had wooden chairs stacked on it, I could make out two adults and a child hunched together and I called out to them. "Who are you?" They stirred for a moment before one of them, a woman with a sharp voice responded. "Who are you? That's the real question. Are you one of them?"
"If I were one of them," I replied with an obvious amount of impatience in my voice, "you wouldn't still be in this room, now would you?"
The thing outside the door I sat against had many faces, but on top of that, it could conjure up smaller versions of itself. Minions, perhaps, would be the better word for them as they weren't smaller in size but in spirit. It chases us into corners, but it sends them into doing his dirty work. That's the definition of a minion isn't it?
" She's got a point," another voice said, this time a man. He rose to his feet and walked towards me, offering his hand out. He was in his early thirties, dark brown hair and wore glasses. His hand looked soft and I stared at it for a few heartbeats before placing mine in it and he helped me to my feet.
"My name is Bobby," he said.
"I'm Abby."
The woman earlier, not much younger than Bobby, introduced herself as Cathy. Behind her was a young girl of about five or six and as Cathy stood, so did the young girl as though there were invisible strings connecting them to each other. "This is our daughter," Cathy said as she came closer to Bobby and me. "Her name is Darla."
Looking down at Darla's face now that they were standing close, I could see from the look on her face that she was traumatized. Her piercing blue eyes looked much older than she did.
Cathy whispered something inaudible in Bobby's ear. I could tell by the twisted facial expression on his face it wasn't something pleasant. He turned to her and told her, "You're a fool, Cathy. That's not your character. I don't know who you've become and I don't like it."
A shroud of shame from whatever it was that Cathy had said fell over her. Bobby turned back to me and asked, "Do you know your way out of here?"
A part of me wanted to lie. I wasn't ready to be alone again. I had always heard there was a "safety in numbers", but a disadvantage to traveling in a posse was you had to watch for stragglers. I wasn't fond of the thought that someone could be left behind.
"No, I've never been here before. I doubt you have either." I decided the truth might set me free of this wicked decision.
Cathy shook her head, "No, we haven't either, but Darla might have." She then knelt next to her daughter and asked her very softly.
Darla tucked in her chin and played with her fingers. She obviously wasn't ready to give up any answers.
"I don't think anyone really knows this place, wherever we are. It must have a mind of its own." Bobby said this to no one in particular.
"Monster's mind," Darla said, surprising everyone. She was still looking at her feet when she said, "His mind; his house."
I threw my hands up in the air. "Great! We're at his house!"
"Calm down, Abby!" Cathy hissed. "You'll scare her."
Bobby put an arm around Cathy and said, "She's already scared. We all are."
He was right. We were all scared. The monster we hid from could be anything and anywhere it wanted. We were mere mice to him. If we were in fact in his house of madness, which I did believe we were, the only choice was to get out.
But how?
If the monster was able to change himself, he must have complete control of his own domain. Nowhere was safe and I was sure even the people I had just met knew this as well.
"We can't stay here for long, you know this right?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.
Cathy and Bobby nodded their heads while their daughter only stared at me. I found myself wondering what it was she was thinking. Then noticing the matching wedding bands on her parents' hands and ho
w tightly they were gripping each other. I wondered if it was comforting or nerve racking to be in such a terrible ordeal with the ones you loved the most.
"But where are we going to go exactly?" Cathy asked, looking from me then back to her husband.
"Anywhere is better than sitting here like fish in a barrel," I said, putting my hand on the door knob.
Cathy's eyes widened, then quickly picked up Darla and placed her on Bobby's back. With a simple nod from them both, I pushed through the door in a full sprint, hoping they were right behind me. We turned to the left, following the curves until we came to a dead end with another frosted glass piece. We had passed many doors of various colors and shapes but we continued to run and no one made any comments. We were all out of breath at this point, but we managed to keep together.
"Where now?" Cathy asked.
"Ask Darla," I said, pressing my hand hard into my right side, still gathering my breath. The little girl seemed to know where we were, she might be able to tell us where we needed to go next.
Bobby turned his head slightly and asked his daughter if she knew. Darla nodded and pointed to an old door a short distance away. Inside the door was another hallway that was cemented on all sides. I had a bad feeling in my gut and the cold air caused my arms to break out in goose bumps.
"Where is this going, Darla?" Cathy whispered.
"To his heart," she replied. I glanced behind me and noticed her knuckles were white as she clasped her hands together around her father's neck. She was quite scared, that was obvious, but the sight of her gave me another dose of caution as we silently walked along.
After a few yards, the wall to my left began to dip, exposing nothing but blackness that almost seemed to vibrate with intensity. "It's where the souls go," breathed Cathy, as though she didn't mean to say it out loud at all.
"How do you know?" I asked.
I heard her take in a long deep, harsh breath before saying, "I can feel their pain. It's a feeling deep in my heart." If she was right, I'm sure she was feeling the pain of her own soul that feared it would soon join the misfortunate ones out in the abyss of the cold black, beyond the now four foot high cement wall.
We continued the walk and though it seemed to last forever both walls soon dropped, leaving us on a stone bridge with three or four foot sides hovering above the abyss filled with only God knows what. Only, I didn't think God had much to do with a place this evil.
Just then a phrase entered my mind: God gives his toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. Did that mean He sent us to obliterate the monster for him? Were we doing God's work? Then I thought of the little girl who clung to her fathers back; how could she be a soldier of God at such a young age? Regardless of God's plans, the though of Him gave me a renewed strength. I felt myself straightening my back, rolling my shoulders, and holding my head a little higher. I was never much of a church goer, but if God got me out of the mess He put me in, maybe I'd start going more than once or twice a year.
The bridge we walked on gave way to turn and we could see an archway that led to hall that was brighter. In that light, I saw a shadow appear and I instantly knew it was a minion. We came to a screeching halt, our breaths caught in our throats. I realized then that whatever God had planned for my fate, it would happen whatever my actions were or how cautious I would be.
As the minion came down the bridge, seeing him dressed in a mechanics jumper with the name Evan on a patch above his left breast pocket, I realized I wasn't afraid of the minions. At least not ones named Evan. There was no need for my fear. They were harmless in a sense, unless otherwise ordered by their masters. Evan started with a trot then began barreling down at us. As he came closer, Cathy let out a screech but I stood my grown. I kept my body as still as possible though my heart was pumping blood through my veins harder than I had ever felt. When Evan was just over a yard away, I stomped my foot and without even thinking, I yelled at the top of my voice. No word in particular, just exclaiming loud enough to instantly run my throat raw. His originally expressionless face was filled with emotion. He was startled! His face twisted in obvious pain. He stumbled backwards over the cement railing of the bridge.
I gave a brief thought in wonder what was out there to greet him.
My body was overflowing with adrenaline now knowing I single handedly beat a minion without physical force and yelled behind me to Bobby and Cathy to run. Three more minions came towards us out of the hall but still we ran at them instead of away as I would have normally done. As though they knew what was going to happen, the three minions stumbled and toppled over each other to get away from us when they saw we were coming at them. More minions flooded out of the hall and on to the bridge ahead of us. The ones that didn't try to turn away and run, I would merely yell "Boo!" or only need to smile at them and they'd turn away with the same tortured expression Evan had before he fell away.
I couldn't help myself and began to laugh as we ran past a few more. They fell over each other, knocking themselves down like dominoes. I'm sure to Bobby and Cathy I seemed to have gone mad, but I knew I was still about myself. With this information, I couldn't help but feel elated. I had felt helpless for what felt like months or years, however long I had been this monster's pawn.
We continued to run through the hallway but I didn't know where we were headed, not exactly anyway. If Darla could run as the rest of us, I'm sure she would be ahead of me and leading the way. Maybe I would be the last one as I'm sure her parents would want to be closest to their daughter.
I scanned the doors as we ran. There were many but none with doorknobs. The hall forked up ahead, I could see that, and I was about to veer to the left when I remembered that I wasn't alone anymore and maybe Darla would know which way we needed to go. I came to stop and turned around to see Darla with her face buried into Bobby's neck who had a vibrant red face from running. Cathy looked more shocked than exhausted. "How did you do that?" she asked, staring at me with wide eyes.
Another smile crossed my face as I said, "I'm not scared of them."
Bobby motioned to Cathy to help him slide their child from his back. "What do you mean?" he asked after Darla's feet were on the floor.
"I'm not afraid," I explained, "They're powerless without my fear, I guess." I shrugged, "I suppose it was like fuel to them. With it gone, they shut down and became afraid of me."
Darla was wiping at her face when I asked her about which way we needed to go, but she only yawned.
"She's tired," Cathy said as she picked up her child.
Bobby bent backwards, groaning as he stretched out his back and said, "We all are, Cath."
I sighed and looked up both hallways. They were both identical with their pale yellow walls, high traffic carpet and fake wood doors; reminding me of a cheap motel or apartment. Just as I was about to make my suggestion, I heard something and I turned to see a man sprinting towards us. My heart skipped a beat as I thought it was another minion, but as he came closer, I was able to make out he was clearly out of breath. I hadn't ever met a minion who had to breathe so hard before.
Once the man reached us, he was still huffing and seemed to be on the verge of passing out as he grasped his knees, holding his head low.
"Are you alright?" Cathy asked. I wondered where her friendly tone came from as she had been less than caring when I had first met her.
"Do I look alright?" He answered, talking to his bare feet. After a few seconds, he stood upright. He had the reddest hair and palest skin I had ever seen. He gave off the impression he hadn't seen daylight in a very long time. "Name is Frank," he said to us, finally able to slightly even out his breathing.
Cathy introduced us to Frank and asked where he was going.
"I'm trying to find my way out of here, the same as you guys," Frank paused, looking at Darla then said sarcastically, "Unless you guys actually like it here."
"Yes," I said with my own sarcastic tone. "We plan on vacationing here next year too."
; Frank slightly chuckled then asked if we knew our way out. Bobby answered him thankfully, since I was too distracted by the way Frank chuckled. It was pitched higher than what matched his voice tone and it reminded me of something. The Monster had a giggle that was high pitched, much like a clown's when they would laugh at their own pranks. I was instantly put on edge with this newcomer. I couldn't say for certain that he was a monster or a minion, but the way his eyes danced over our faces, it was as though he was assessing who was the weakest.
As I observed Frank and the others discuss a plan of action I didn't know quite how to express my worries to Bobby and Cathy. They seemed to trust him. I could tell by Cathy's eyes, the way they were open to Frank's opinions as to whether or not to find a nook to rest in or to carry on and find a way out being as tired as we already were. I jumped back into the conversation when Cathy was telling Frank about how I had stopped the minions with bravery. Frank looked at me with a hint of shock on his face. "That's how you can out wit them? Is to stand up to them?"
I folded my arms across my chest and nodded. "Yes," I said, "It's no different than any bully. If you stand up to them and show that you aren't afraid of them, they have no power."
Frank nodded then asked, "So what should we do?"
"Carry on, the sooner we get out of here the better," I said. Bobby nodded in agreement, although I was sure his back was killing him.
Cathy shook her head vigorously. "No," she said, looking down to her daughter who had her face hidden again behind Cathy. "I don't want to push Darla. She needs the rest most. Besides," she continued, "If we can't get her to tell us where we need to go next, what is the point of running around in circles just wearing ourselves out even farther?" Although she did have a point, I wasn't comfortable sharing a hiding place with Frank.
"I think it's settled then," Frank said, clapping his hands together, "It's in the best interest of the little one that we rest for a while."
Bobby sighed in defeat. "Ok," he said, "where do we go though? Which way?"
"To the left," I said.
The three adults looked at me quizzically. Darla still kept her face buried away. What she thought of the whole situation, only she knew. "Why do you say to the left?" Cathy asked.
I shrugged. "It's from my own code. Whatever is to the right is wrong. The word itself is deceiving so we should go to the left."
Bobby laughed. "With that sort of logic, how can we say otherwise?"
We began walking up the left hallway, Frank and Cathy on either side of the hallway testing door knobs. By the time we found a door that wasn't locked or didn't open to nothing but a wall, I had made up my mind. I pulled Bobby back after everyone else was inside.