“When he wakes up, I need to play the ambient sounds of the ocean.” I pointed to the mp3 in the corner. “When you change him, you only give him a bit of powder because it makes him sneeze. He likes applesauce instead of milk when he wakes up, and if it’s quiet for long enough, he will fall back to sleep before finishing the cup.”
Her mouth dropped open, as did Coraline’s. Her eyes squinted together for a moment.
“Mel, how did you—”
“Just because I haven’t been here doesn’t mean I haven’t seen what I need to,” I whispered, as I took off my suit jacket and placed it onto the changing table.
“But Declan said you haven’t checked into any of the cameras,” Coraline replied.
“That he knows of. Next time, tell him to make his virtual footprint smaller.”
Her face went blank and she clearly didn’t understand the term, but I knew that Declan would. Evelyn didn’t say anything and simply left. But I had a feeling she would be back.
Coraline kissed Ethan before walking to the door. “Goodnight to you both.”
I just nodded. When the door closed, I pulled both of my guns from my bag next to the changing table. I placed one behind the dresser and walked back over to Ethan. For the first time in months, we were both alone and I felt like I could breathe again. He was alive and happy and beautiful.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered down to him as I kissed his head. “I’m so sorry. I won’t leave ever again, I promise.”
Not wanting to wake him, I wiped my eyes before I sat down next to the window. I glanced outside, but all I could see were trees.
We’re going to need sensor lights back there, and I was going to need body heat indicators around the whole house. There had already been one attack on our house and it could never happen again. Part of me was worried that I had triggered something even worse by coming back, but I didn’t have a choice.
Pulling off my heels, I tucked them to the side of me before I crawled into a small ball by the window. The safety was on my gun as I held it against my side. Through the gaps of wooden crib, I could see his chest rise and fall…proof that he was alive and well. It felt like I had only closed my eyes to blink, however the moment I heard the floorboard creek, I was on my feet with my finger on the trigger.
Liam’s green eyes were wide as he stared down the barrel of my gun before he relaxed. Glaring at me, he stepped forward.
“You can’t be fucking serious, Melody.”
It took me a moment to adjust. Backing away from him, my hand shaking slightly, I sat back near the window.
Breathe, Mel.
Placing the gun beside me, I took a deep breath, and glanced once again at Ethan.
He’s okay. You’re okay. Everything is okay.
It felt like ages before I relaxed again. Resting against the wall, Liam looked down at me, with anger, worry, and confusion written in his eyes.
“What was that?” he asked me, and for the first time, I took a good look at him. He must have just taken a shower because his hair was still wet. He wore nothing but black silk pajama bottoms. I swear he must have worked out every second in jail. Every one of his muscles, from the six-pack of his abs to the muscle of his arms, were tightened up and flawless. He looked like a gladiator, and I was the lion he was trying to slay.
Stop staring.
“I’m no psychologist, but I’d have say that that would be a side effect from the last five months,” I replied as I pulled my knee to my chest.
He looked over at Ethan. “Should I take him out of the room?”
“I don’t know. Would you like to keep your arms?” Because if he tried to take my son away from me, he may just lose all his limbs.
“If I have to lose them to keep him safe, I would do it,” he said as he brushed Ethan’s hair back.
“Safe from me?”
“Yes, you. You hurt people. The only person you care about is yourself.”
He was starting to piss me off.
“You know, I was in this room when you called,” he whispered. “He was so small, I swear he only took up the space between my wrist and palm. He was so calm…so sleepy. I wanted him to have the world, but most of all, I wanted him to have his mother. I thought it was my fault—that Aviela had gotten to you because of me. Then you had to fucking call and tell me you needed time. The rational part of me knew that something must have happened. But, Melody, for the life of me I cannot understand what in the hell it was that you couldn’t come to me with? Am I that incompetent that you couldn’t trust me? Couldn’t tell me the truth?”
“I was strung out on enough coke to kill a parade of elephants,” I answered, cutting him off before he could insult himself and me any further. I refused to be his emotional punching bag.
His entire body turned to me. “Wh…What?”
With a sigh, I closed my eyes. I was only going to tell this story once, he needed to know, no one else.
“I was doped up with coke three times day and it wasn’t the low quality stuff, it was the best of the best…ours, courtesy of Aviela and Nelson, the flight attendant on my jet. You know, what I remember the most was the feeling. My heart felt like it was constantly trying to pound a hole through my chest. Escaping, killing Aviela, it was all a blur. But I also remember the phone call, I had walked five miles in the snow covered hills of Friuli to make that call. Every word of it was the clearest moment in my mind. Listening to Ethan breathe through the phone, I swore that I would not allow my son to see me like that. I couldn’t come home because I physically Could. Not. Come. Home. Somehow I ended up in an abandoned cabin. And the moment I thought I was safe, I passed out for two straight days. But that was the easy part.” I sighed, keeping my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see him.
“I won’t go into the effects of my withdrawals, I’m sure you can imagine. It took me four weeks, two days, and nine hours to reign myself in. No contact. No news. Just cold baths, training, potatoes and water.
“I didn’t even know you were in jail. In fact, it was only when Avian sent his first agent, Roger Kane, after me that I realized what was going on. He caught me by surprise while I was in the bath. One moment I was thinking of how to get home, and the next, his hands were holding me under. There was no way I was going to fight him and win. When he thought I was dead, I came up for air and returned the favor with a cord around his neck. When he woke up, I made him talk.
“Avian wanted you in jail and he needed me dead. We have our men, he has his agents. They all think that they’re serving their country. They belong to the White List…a group of FBI and CIA agents hidden in plain view. They are willing to do anything and everything it takes. Our tax dollars at work. After Roger, Kim, Beatrice, Adam, Dillon, and then Tom followed. They hunted me across Europe. But Beatrice, she came prepared. She had somehow gotten one of Ethan’s pacifiers.” My head felt like it was on fire thinking though it all. Remembering how I’d bashed her face in during our encounter in Belgium. I’d waited until she gained consciousness before forcing gasoline down her throat. Then I set her on fire. My son was off limits.
“I couldn’t come back until I knew it was safe. I had reasonable explanations on where I was. I checked only when I could, knowing full well that Avian was waiting to find out where I was.
“My life went from The Godfather to Jason Bourne; from the hunter to the hunted. I wish I could have been in jail. So if you’re looking for an apology, pull it out of your ass, you son of bitch. I will not let you, or your fucking family, try to tear me down when I myself am barely holding on.”
He was sitting on the opposite side of the room, and hadn’t said a word. Finally he spoke. “So I was right. You did think that I was incompetent. You truly believed you couldn’t trust me. Thank you for your answer,” he replied softly as if everything I said didn’t even touch him.
Was he fucking kidding me right now?
“Did you hear me? I didn’t just run—”
“I heard you, Melody. I alwa
ys hear you,” he said, still calm and it was driving insane. “When the shit hit the fan, you did it all on your own.”
“Because I was on my own!” I hissed.
“Because you chose to be, Melody. I get what you’re saying. You were left out alone, and instead of working with me, your husband, you decided that you were going to do it on your own. You’ve once again proved that you need no one. You are the strongest. You are a survivor.”
“And I’m damn proud of it.”
He smirked sadly, but it was half-assed. “I’ve never thought otherwise. You’ve been trying to prove how strong you are since the first day I met you. But what you did to me wasn’t strong. Relying on me, on us, that would have been strong. Instead you left an ocean between us, all because you didn’t want me to see you weak. Instead, you let Avian get into your head and you faced his people alone, you suffered alone. That is what he wanted, and you gave it to him. You didn’t trust me enough to believe I would have your back. So, Melody what do you want me to say to you? Thank you? I love you and I’m glad you’re alive, but other than that, it’s taking every ounce of restraint I have to not rip into you.”
“I did what I thought was best.”
“You did what you thought was best and it wasn’t. We were a team and you went rouge.”
Even with how calm he was, I felt like he was gutting me. “The contract says—”
“The contract? We’re going back to the contract?
“In it, did it not say we made plans together? I think you even added that part. First, your mother, now, your grandfather. Orlando sure made the fine print extra small,” he replied, as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Be thankful. As if your family could have made it with me as an enemy. You were all dying slowly and you know it—”
“But we’re bleeding out all over again, and right now it seems like we were better off,” he sighed. “I’m done with this, Melody. Right now I just want peace.”
I took a deep breath, but didn’t say anything. My chest felt too heavy to speak about this anymore.
LIAM
She had kicked my world off its axis. I didn’t know where to start or how to even begin to process everything she had just told me. It was like one blow after another with her. Her phone call replayed over and over in my head. And not once did I realize how much trouble she was in. Why hadn’t she said anything? She always had this wall up, and I was tired of trying to break through it.
I tried not to look at her but it was hard. She was comfortable in the corner, her gun tucked behind her back, as strong as ever.
It was selfish of me. I know. But I wanted…I needed her to need me as much as I needed her. I was fucking confused.
Would she have come back if it weren’t for Ethan?
It seemed that after two years, we were back to square one. Was this how all marriages were? A neverending roller coaster of emotions trying its best to beat the shit out of you?
SIX
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
—George Bernard Shaw
CORALINE
I paced slowly, from the door to the window of our bedroom, waiting to see what my husband had discovered.
“Well? Do you see the footprint thing she’s talking about?” I asked Declan as he worked.
He shook his head. “Baby, I would have known if someone was…holy shit.”
Rushing to his side, I almost pushed him out of the way to stare at the screen. It was a map of Europe, and it was littered with tiny red dots.
“What am I looking at?” There was no conceivable order, just dots.
“It’s hard to think when you’re so close to me,” he whispered before kissing my cheek and pulling me into his lap. Trying to get a more comfortable position on his lap, I felt him harden underneath me.
“Declan, concentrate,” I muttered, as I bit my lip.
“I am,” he mumbled as he kissed my shoulder.
A shiver went down my spine as he kept trailing kisses along my body. I had to clench my eyes shut in order to get out my next sentence, though it pained me to say it. “Declan, the computer…footprint thing…this is important.” At least it sounded like a complete sentence in my mind.
“Fine,” he sighed, kissing my neck once more before stopping. “But this isn’t over.”
Turning to him, I kissed his lips quickly. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Now what is this?”
“All the spots Mel checked in from.”
“Holy shit.” There had be at least a hundred dots all over Europe. France, Poland, Romania…the list went on. How did she move around so much?
“From what I can tell, she’s been keeping tabs on Ethan and was able to access the video feed, but not audio. Thank God for that, I think I might have told Ethan a few of his parents’ secrets,” he snickered and I could only imagine what those were.
Between him and Neal, Ethan was going to be a hellraiser and a heartbreaker. Females of the future, you’ve been warned.
Wait.
“She said she knew that Ethan liked to listen to the sounds of the ocean. How could she have known that if she couldn’t hear?”
He pulled up the live video feed of Ethan’s room, Liam and Mel could both be seen sleeping in opposite corners of the room. Declan zoomed in on the iPod dock.
“It’s labeled Ocean,” he chuckled at me.
Well duh. Now I felt stupid.
“You said she was rearranging the room?” he questioned as he swept the entire room over with the camera. “She put Ethan’s crib in the best defense position for her. With her sitting near the window like that, she can see through the back and have a clear shot at the door before anyone can make it further in.”
It’s not safe yet. That’s what she was talking about.
“I think there’s another mole in the house.” There were at least a dozen people that came into Ethan’s room to take out the trash, clean, sweep for bugs…
“Great, I’m sure Liam and Mel will love hearing that,” he muttered, as he rested his head on my shoulder.
“I’m not going to tell them right now, not yet, at least not until I figure out who it is.”
“You?”
“Yes, me. And don’t say it in that tone. I’m kickass, remember?”
He grinned and I glared, which only made him grin even more. Ugh! I hated him sometimes.
“Okay. Am I a suspect?”
“Keep looking at me like that and you will be. And I was right about Mel. I knew that she couldn’t just drop of the face of the planet without a care.” The way she looked at Ethan after just giving birth, that was the look of a mother in love. She couldn’t just forget him.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This proves she cares about Ethan. But it does not absolve her of all her sins. If only she cared about Liam that much,” Declan muttered, as he continued to click through the data stream.
Getting off of him, I bit my bottom lip as I began to pace again.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked, spinning to look at me.
I wanted to tell him, but I wasn’t sure if I should. Mel would be pissed.
“Coraline.” The smile on his face dropped as he looked me over carefully. “Are you feeling sic…”
“No!” I said quickly. “I just know something, but I don’t know if I should tell you. I want to because…you know I’m going to end up blabbing later, but Mel would—”
“Just tell me before you pass out.” He smirked, crossing his arms. That smug look on his face was so annoying.
“I’m not going to pass out.”
“Now you’re trying to change the subject.”
“Now you’re being a butthead.”
“A butthead? What are we, five?” He laughed and I loved seeing him so carefree, even if it was at my expense.
“I’m trying not to curse. Ethan’s going to grow up thinking normal people use ‘fuck’ in every sentence.”
“Fine, I??
?m a butthead. So just tell me, you know I can keep a secret, after all, I still haven’t bragged about that thing you do with your—”
“Oh my God, shut up, I’ll tell you.”
And the asshole winked at me.
“So after we left Ethan’s room, I was coming to see you but I forgot my watch. I went back and I found Olivia standing outside the door, when she saw me, she asked about Ethan and I told her he was fine then she left.”
“Okay, we all know Olivia can’t let Ethan out of her sight for more than an hour,” he frowned, leaning back.
“Yeah, I know. That wasn’t shocking to me, but it was what Mel said to Liam.”
“So you were eavesdropping?”
I didn’t like that word. “I was outside the door when they started arguing in hush tones. How was it my fault if I overheard what happened to her? You know I have good hearing.”
“Her, as in Mel?” he asked.
I nodded.
“And what happened to her?”
It wasn’t my place to tell.
“Coraline.” He leaned forward and his eyes felt as if they were piercing my soul. I hated when he looked at me like that, I always melted.
“This stays between you and me, Declan Callahan. I’m serious, if you speak about it to anyone, I will personally hurt you, and you know I can—”
“Coraline, now you have to tell me,” he said, rising slowly.
DECLAN
“For the love of God,” was all I could manage to say before I sat on the bed. “This whole time I had thought she had just…I don’t even know!”
“I can still hardly believe it,” she whispered crawling onto the bed with me. Pulling off her scarf, she rested her head on my chest.
“Yeah, well it explains a lot…actually, it explains everything. I’m going to do some more research on these agents Avian sent after her. Maybe Liam will have some information.”
“You can’t tell him I told you.” She sat up quickly.
“I won’t. But we need to get more information. Plus, all their names were in the news broadcast. Even the President released a statement about them. They are already taking precautions, the guards said we already have cameras lining the gates.” Once again, Liam and Mel were ahead of the curve, they could have the President make up anything in their favor and pass it on as a “leak.”