“I’m there.”
He pulls up three blocks down and I get out of the car.
“Don’t let me down, Julietta. That son of yours is home with your mom right now, and we both know she has a weakness for me.”
My body stiffens, and I lean in the window. “I won’t let you down, but if you touch my son, I’ll make sure you suffer.”
He grins and rolls the automatic window up, forcing me to leap backwards to stop myself getting caught.
The black car drives away and I’m left on the sidewalk. I glance down at my jeans and halter top. Sexy, but not too obvious. Just a casual outfit that’ll make him want more. Devious, disgusting men and their plans. I run a hand through my hair and my fingers glide through the loose curls. Dammit. I don’t know if I can do this.
Two big brown eyes flitter into my mind, and I know I don’t get a choice.
Ajax. This is for Ajax.
I glance at my watch. Five minutes.
I start walking. I move slowly, but not too slowly. I want to be seen as just passing when he walks out. As I get closer to the charity location, I see a few people milling around the front. I glance down at my watch again. It’s time. When I look up a second time, I stop dead in my tracks. He walks out of the front doors with the same grace and dominance he always carried so well.
My breath seizes in my lungs.
This is worse than I could have ever imagined. So much worse.
My reaction doesn’t need to be pretend. It’s real, so horribly real.
His tuxedo fits his body like a glove, and his dark hair is slicked back on his head. His jaw, chiseled, is tight as he glances left and then right. Then he stops. And his eyes flash. And I can’t move. I can’t. I try to but my body refuses to co-operate. I stand there, my knees shaking, body thrumming. Those intense brown eyes capture me, and I’m their slave once more. My body temporarily turns into a pathetic mess.
Ajax.
Think of Ajax.
God, he looks like his father. Exactly like him. My heart slams against my chest, reminding me of the pain, reminding me of why I’m doing this. I straighten my shoulders, glare at him, and then turn and start walking in the other direction.
The sound of his heavy footsteps echo off the floor. As suspected, he follows me. Of course he does. Nobody walks away from Rafael Lencioni, especially not me.
“Julietta!” The sound of his voice has my skin tingling.
I walk faster. My steps quick and somewhat unstable in the high heels I was told to wear.
“Stop.” An order. A command in that deadly, ferocious tone that used to bring me to my knees.
“Now.”
My body skids to a stop, like it still remembers what it’s supposed to do. My brain kicks in a second later, chastising me for doing what he asked. I turn slowly, panting, and he’s only a few feet away from me. His eyes flash, and I could swear he flinches.
He takes me in, slowly. Can he tell my body shape has changed? That I’ve put on a little weight around my middle? Will he know I’ve had a baby?
“Julietta,” he says, his voice a low husk.
My knees shake once again. Weak. Pathetic.
“Rafael,” I say, my voice not nearly as strong as I’d like it to be.
“Where have you been?”
I flinch. “Are you honestly asking me that question?”
His eyes flash and he nods in understanding. “How are you?”
How are you? Is he serious? How fucking lame.
“Fine.”
He narrows his eyes and his jaw tics. “You know how I feel about liars.”
“Here’s the funny thing about that,” I say, stepping closer. “I owe you nothing so I don’t really give a crap how you feel.”
“Be careful,” he warns.
“Or what? You’ll fuck up my life?” I tap my chin with my finger. “Oh, wait, you already did.”
I could swear his eyes flicker with hurt, but I shove any sympathy down. He doesn’t deserve it. None of these bastards do.
“I came over here to see if you were well.”
“I’m not,” I snap. “But that’s also none of your business.”
He makes a low, throaty sound in his chest. “You might not be my business, but I’m still very capable of putting my hand to your ass for throwing your attitude at me.”
My body thrums. Betrayer. “I’m leaving now. I have no interest in speaking with you further, Rafael. We’re done, remember? That was your choice.”
He opens his mouth but a feminine voice rings out. “Raf?”
I glance behind him to see a gorgeous redhead rushing over. She’s young. She’s pretty. She’s everything I’m not. She reaches him and curls her arm through his, looking up at him with doe eyes. “There you are, darling. I couldn’t find you.”
Darling.
My stupid heart aches, and it feels like an iron fist hits me right in the belly. “I see you’ve moved on nicely,” I say, my voice strong.
Rafael’s eyes scan my face. Is he enjoying my pain? Probably.
“Who’s this?” the redhead asks.
I stare at her. “I’m his last one. Be careful; he has no problem throwing out the trash when it gets full, which, on a good run, only takes about a month or two.”
The girl’s eyes flare with rage, but I’ve already turned on my heel to walk off.
Fuck you, Rafael Lencioni.
Dammit.
Fuck you.
CHAPTER 3
It takes everything inside me to control my emotions by the time I make it three blocks down to the car waiting for me. I climb inside and look straight ahead. Riccardo is smoking a cigar, and I want to vomit from the smell. Then I want to reach over and poke his eyes out for making me do this. He glances at me, but I don’t look at him. I can’t. He’ll see it in my face—the pain, the weakness, and all of it for a man who does not deserve it.
He moved on so quickly.
“You’re wrong about something,” I say to the headrest in front of me.
“What’s that?” Riccardo asks.
“He isn’t in love with me.”
The car falls silent as we pull away from the curb. “Why? What did he say?”
“It wasn’t what he said—it was who he was with.”
More silence.
Then a laugh. “He’s a Lencioni. It looks weak if he doesn’t have a woman on his arm. You could have died in his arms the night before and he’d have a replacement the next day. He’s supposed to be cold, stony, and emotionless. He was that to my Maria, but I see it in his eyes when it comes to you. He’s in love with you. He’s just doing what he has to.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. Be strong. “Whatever you say.”
“What did he say?”
I shrug. “He asked me where I’ve been.”
Lie.
“He asked how I was.”
Truth.
“I threw him some sass, because that’s how I speak to him—it’s why he liked me. He took the bait, reacted. Then his little girlfriend came out.”
“Aw,” Riccardo croons as he turns to scan my face as if looking for the truth in my countenance. “Are you jealous?”
I shoot him a filthy glare. “I’d rather stab my eye with a blunt fork than go anywhere near Rafael Lencioni again.”
He grins.
I can’t believe this man is my father. “I did what you wanted. That’s the end of this conversation.”
He studies me for a heartbeat too long, and I shift uncomfortably. “Very well. His curiosity will be piqued. I’ll make sure you end up in another location soon, but not too soon. I’ll slowly build it up until we have him asking for you to be on his arm again.”
“I’m not sleeping with him.”
“You’ll do what you have to.”
I don’t know if I have the strength to sleep with him and just be okay with it. An emotionless, cold fuck. It’s not in me. Is it?
Ajax.
Remember Ajax.
“There’s a chance he’ll want to take you as his wife.”
“I’m not of blood,” I mutter, “as far as he knows.”
“That’s a good point,” he says, rubbing his chin. “Still, he’s smitten with you.”
“Whatever.”
“Great work tonight, Julietta. You might have a bit of me in you after all.”
My blood goes cold, and I hiss, “I’m not a single fucking thing like you.”
He laughs again.
I stare out the window until we arrive at my mother’s house. I get out, not looking at him as I slam the door. I hear him mutter, “Say hello to your mama for me.”
My father—well, the father who raised me—is still unaware of the situation. That was part of the agreement. My father and my son would be protected for my co-operation. Mama knows only because I couldn’t contain my rage when I found out what she’d done. Reliving that moment has my chest clenching.
“How could you?” I scream, throwing my phone across the room. I’m covered in dirt. And probably some blood. Probably both. Probably more.
“Julietta, please. I know it looks bad . . .”
“You lied to me my entire life. You lied to Daddy. You’re a liar!”
“Julietta . . .”
“He’s blackmailing me. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“I . . .”
“My child, my precious baby”—I rub my stomach—“is going to be used because you lied!”
“I didn’t know you were involved with Rafael. Julie, please. I didn’t know. If I had known, I would have warned you.”
“Warned me of what? Your lies? Your secrets? Warned me that my real father is a raging piece of shit who will use me and my child to get what he wants?”
“I know he seems like a cold monster, but—”
“Stop being so naive, Mother. He is a cold monster. He’s the scum of the earth, and tonight I find out he’s my father. My father.”
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, dropping her head.
Tears roll down my cheeks. “That’s just not enough.”
“Please, don’t tell your father.”
“I’m not telling Daddy, but it isn’t to protect you—it’s to protect him and my baby. If something happens to either of them, it’s on you.”
She collapses to the floor with a sob.
I turn and run out, not looking back.
I walk up the front steps and enter the house. Mama sits on the sofa, my dad beside her, his arm around her shoulder as they watch an old black and white movie. If he knew, if he had any idea what her lies were doing to us, he wouldn’t be sitting there so happily laughing at the television. My heart twists with bitter anger and regret. I know she loves him. I know he loves her. If it wasn’t for that, I would have told him.
But it’s not just that.
Riccardo promised my father’s protection from Rafael if I co-operated. The trail is no longer on him, and he’s no longer under suspicion. He’s safe. Riccardo re-directed it to make sure of that. He was only making my father look bad as a way to get me to do what he wanted. He doesn’t need to do that now. He has so much more.
“Hi,” I say, my voice shaky.
They both turn.
“Hi Julie,” Dad says, standing and coming over, wrapping me in his arms. “How was your night out with Celia?”
He thinks I went out with Celia. If only he knew the cold, bitter, ugly truth.
“She didn’t feel well, so she had to go early. How was Ajax?”
“He was perfect.” He smiles, proud as punch. “Just like his grandad.”
My stomach twists again. I force a smile. “That’s awesome. I’m going to get him and head home. Is he asleep?”
“You can stay,” Mama says, her voice hopeful.
“I’d love to,” I say with false chipperness. “But he sleeps better at home.”
Mama nods, but her eyes are sad. I love her. I do. But I’m not ready to forgive her yet. Still, it hurts to see her hurting. Unfortunately, I have to put myself first right now.
“I’ll get him,” Dad says, rushing down the hall.
“Julie, are you—” Mamma begins after she hears him moving farther down the hall.
“Please don’t,” I whisper. “I’m safe. That’s all you need to know.”
She nods.
Dad returns with Ajax wrapped tightly in his arms. I reach out and he hands him to me.
My son.
My boy.
The only thing keeping me strong.
~*~*~*~
“It’s been a long time, Julie,” Jacob says, staring at me.
I can’t believe I have to deal with this jerk again. It’s been three weeks since Ajax was born, and I had to come back to work. That means dealing with Jacob again daily, which isn’t a good thing for my temper right now.
“Look, Jacob, I had to leave due to a family emergency, and it’s none of your business. They gave me my job back—end of story.”
He crosses his arms. “What happened to you?”
“It’s none of your business, remember?”
“Are you still seeing that”—he looks around—“man?”
“No, I am not. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a job to do.” I turn and rush off, adjusting my scrubs which feel a bit too tight. I left Ajax with my parents. I had no choice. I have to get back to work to keep my bills paid—God knows Riccardo will have no problem in letting me become homeless. So long as he gets what he wants, he couldn’t care less what happens to me.
I get right into work, picking up where I left off. The day is long, and by the time five p.m. rolls around I’m exhausted and looking forward to getting home and snuggling my baby. I clock out from my shift, say goodbye to everyone, and pull my phone out to make sure there are no missed calls. I’m staring at it as I step out of the front doors.
“Hello Julietta.”
I flinch and look up to see Rafael staring at me, his arms crossed, leaning against a sleek black SUV.
“Can I help you?” I mutter, tucking my phone back into my pocket.
“I wanted to see you.”
My heart flutters but I keep my stony expression.
“Are you stalking me?” I snap, placing my hands on my hips.
“I heard you got your job back.”
“You’re stalking me.”
“I don’t stalk,” he says, pushing off the car and walking towards me. “Take a ride with me.”
I shake my head. “No thanks. I have places to be.”
His eyes harden. “Are you seeing somebody?”
I raise my brows. “Oh, you mean like you are?”
“She was a date,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. Fuck. He looks so damned beautiful. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“As who I date is none of yours,” I point out.
“I have a proposition for you.”
“Not interested,” I say, digging out my car keys and taking a step in the direction my car is parked. He wastes no time following me down the busy sidewalk.
My heart starts pounding and I come to a stop, glancing a block down to where it’s parked. There’s a baby seat in there; if he follows me back there and sees it, he’s going to ask what it is and I won’t be able to answer him. If I turn and walk off, he will most certainly follow me, and considering he knows what my car looks like, I can hardly pretend I walked here.
“I’ll give you five minutes,” I say. It’s the only way to get him from coming near my car.
“Get in,” he says, nodding to the SUV.
I climb in when he opens the door for me, and listen as he instructs the driver to take us for a drive. When we pull out, I shift as far away from him as I can, but in this small space, his presence is ever-dominating and I can’t seem to escape it.
“What is it you want?” I ask, glancing out the window.
“Look at me.”
I stiffen and turn, looking at him. “Can you just say whatever it is you nee
d to say and let me go?”
His jaw tics, but he nods. “I want you back in my bed.”
“Yeah,” I snort. “That’s not going to happen.”
Hard to get. I have to play hard to get. Riccardo will probably flip knowing I’m seeing Rafael without his perfect scheduling.
“Aren’t we past what happened?”
“Your wife died only what, ten months ago? How can you even think of that?”
His face hardens. “This has nothing to do with the loss of Maria. This is about you and me.”
“There is no you and me—you made that very clear when I told you I had feelings for you. Oh, and then there was the time you used me to get information . . .”
“Julietta . . .”
“Then you promised I’d never get touched by your world, but that most certainly happened.”
“Julietta . . .”
“So no offense, but I have no interest in jumping back into your bed of lies.”
“Julietta,” he roars so loudly my mouth snaps shut.
I stare at him with wide eyes. He’s pissed. Good. I hope my words cut deep. I cross my arms, but my hands tremble. It’s hard not to have a reaction when he uses that tone. He’s terrifying.
“Now I have your attention,” he growls. “I understand your issues, but I’m still asking for you to consider warming my bed again.”
“What?” I sass. “Can’t find anyone else to do the things I did to you?”
“There are plenty of women who can fuck me the way I need to be fucked.”
My face drops.
Ouch.
That hurt so much more than I’m willing to admit.
“But none of them make it feel the way you do.”
The genuine expression on his face makes my heart pound, but I keep it together. He doesn’t care. He’s just using me. Right?
“I’m not interested, Rafael.”
“Take some time to think about it. The same rules as last time apply. I’ll provide for you and take care of you.”
My stomach twists. I know eventually I’ll have to accept his offer because Riccardo will demand that I do, but that means there is a chance he’ll show up at my house one day, or see me on the street, and he’ll ask questions about Ajax. There is no way he could look at him and not realize he’s his son.
“I’ll think about it, but don’t get your hopes up.”