I laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind. Speaking of, I really should get home. I barely get enough time with my baby as it is. It was so lovely to meet all of you.”
We all exchange numbers, and the girls promise to keep in touch. Celia tells me she’s going to stay, so I head out alone and find Marcus sitting with the males of the group. They all stop talking and look up when I get closer.
“Everything okay?” Marcus asks.
“Yeah, I just wanted to see if I could get a ride home. I don’t want to leave Ajax all night.”
“Yeah.” Marcus stands and looks to the guys, “Good to see you all.”
“Don’t be a stranger, Marcus,” Krypt says.
Marcus nods, and I give a little wave. “Thanks for having me.”
“Remember, we got you covered if you need it,” Maddox says. “We can take care of you, Julietta.”
I smile—it’s genuine. “Thank you, Maddox.”
The other men jerk their heads in agreement and wave.
Celia and I get in Marcus’s car. “Well?” he says when he climbs in.
“Well, I was wrong. They’re not at all what I expected.”
“Funny thing about people,” he says, driving away. “They never are.”
He’s right about that.
CHAPTER 12
“Where the fuck have you been?”
I step through my front door with Ajax asleep in my arms and flinch at the sound of Riccardo’s angry voice. Great. Just what I need right now. I had an amazing night and now I have to put up with Riccardo and his jerkiness.
“I was out with Celia. There was no rule against me having a life, Riccardo.”
“You work for me, Julietta. I needed you tonight.”
“Well, I was busy.”
I walk into Ajax’s room and place him down. He stirs a little, then falls back asleep. I close the door softly and walk out, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the pathetic excuse for a man who took part in my creation.
“Something is off. You’re going to find out what it is,” he says, standing and walking towards me.
“What’s the problem now?”
“More shipments went missing tonight. Someone is messing with me; I want to know who. I think it’s very possible Rafael knows more.”
I keep my features schooled. “I don’t know. He didn’t say anything to me, but I’ll go over tomorrow and see what I can find out.”
“Good. It’s time for you to start spending more time with him.”
“I have a child, remember?”
His jaw tics. “Yes, I’m fully aware of that. Get him babysat. Things are heating up; I’m going to come up with a plan to make Rafael look bad and when that happens, life will get more hectic. You need to be ready. It’s time to start taking him down.”
“He’s got loyal followers—I don’t see how you making him look bad will get him removed from his position.”
“Trust me, I just need to have him piss off the wrong people and I won’t need to do anything and neither will his followers.”
I flinch. “Like what?”
“Like the members of the cartel his father had beef with. If I make it look like Rafael is messing in their business, they’ll not hesitate to remove him. They can do the job for me, then I step in, take over, clean them up, and no one will ever know any better.”
He says “clean them up” as if they’re nothing more than scraps. Not the cartel.
“And if your little plan doesn’t work?”
“It will. But for now I need to find out who is messing with my shipments. Someone knows, but as far as I know, whoever it is doesn’t know it’s me or I’d be dead. I need to be more careful. You need to get in there and find out more.”
“Maria was doing this for you, wasn’t she?” I ask a question I’ve often wondered but never actually had confirmed.
“My daughter was a good and loyal daughter. She knew the place was mine. She knew she could live the life she wanted if I took over. She was smart. She was good to me. Unlike you.”
“Yeah, well, I never did like conforming,” I say sarcastically.
He shakes his head at me. “Do your job, Julietta. My patience with you is wearing thin.”
“My patience with you has snapped. Now leave my house. I’m tired.”
He glares, then turns and leaves.
I exhale and rub my hand over my face. Rafael is going to get killed. The very thought has my chest clenching. It makes me feel so sick I have to lean over to get a steady breath. He deserves a lot of things, but I don’t want to see him hurt. I thought I could handle it; I thought I could do whatever I had to in order to protect my son but the fact of the matter is I don’t know if I have it in me to let Riccardo end Rafael’s life.
Dammit.
What the hell am I going to do?
~*~*~*~
“I missed you.”
Rafael nuzzles my neck as he pulls me into his house two nights later.
“I missed you too.” It isn’t a lie, and that scares me.
“I’m glad you came over tonight.”
“Me too,” I admit.
His lips move from my neck and glide up my jaw. He stops on my cheek and pulls back, stroking his thumb over the fading, nearly non-existent bruise.
His erection presses against my belly, and I forget what we’re talking about.
I want him. We both know we came here so we could fuck. I reach down between us and take hold of his cock, curling my fingers around it through his pants. He hisses and thrusts his hips, pushing it farther into my hand. I squeeze and take a step backwards, forcing him to take a step, too. I unbuckle his belt. Then I lower to my knees, looking up at him through my lashes.
“We’ve both been waiting for this,” I murmur.
His eyes flash and his hand tangles into my hair, jerking my head just slightly. “Yes, we have,” he growls. “Now suck me, cara. I can’t wait any longer.”
“Bossy,” I murmur, unzipping him.
His beautiful cock springs free when I jerk his pants down. I’ve missed it. Oh so much. I lower my mouth, slipping my tongue out between my lips and sliding it over his crown. He hisses, and his fingers tighten in my hair. “Don’t play, Julietta.”
A warning.
I grin and lick him again, this time swirling my tongue before gliding it down his shaft. He makes a low, guttural sound in his throat and jerks my head forward, forcing his cock against my lips. “Open for me.”
I don’t.
He jerks harder.
I get wet. So fucking wet.
“Now, Julietta,” he growls.
I part my lips obediently, and he slides his cock into my mouth. Rafael likes it rough. He likes it hard. He likes it fast. That’s exactly what I’m going to give him.
I soften my lips just barely so that he can work himself in and out of my mouth freely, but keep enough pressure to get him where he needs to go. Then I grab his ass with both of my hands and let him take the lead.
He fucks my mouth. Hard. He thrusts his cock deep. Saliva builds and helps him glide in and out. I try to open my throat as much as I can to let him go as deep as he needs. He does. His cock hits the back of my throat, his fingers tug my hair, and he fucks my mouth with a ferocity I’ve never felt before.
He throws his head back and bellows when he comes, shooting strand after strand of cum down my throat. I take it all, swallowing frantically until every last drop is gone.
Panting, he slips his cock from my mouth and releases me. He looks down at me, freeing his grasp on my hair as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “You look perfect down there on your knees.”
I tremble.
He reaches down and helps me up. “Wine?”
“Sure,” I say, my voice husky.
“Come.”
He ushers me into the kitchen and we sit on a couple of stools facing each other. He pours us a glass of wine. It’s only in this exact moment that I realize I’ve missed Rafael more than I was
willing to admit. It was never just about the sex. He always had something about him. There was always something between us. We clicked. We connected. We felt.
“Can I ask you a question?” I ask him, sipping my wine.
“Always, cara.”
“How are you since Maria’s death?”
He flinches. “I may not have loved my wife, but I respected her. It wasn’t easy to lose her. She was good to me. She didn’t deserve that.”
My fingers tremble around the wine glass, and I look down. My face prickles. My heart aches. It’s my fault she’s dead. I upset her. If I hadn’t upset her, she wouldn’t have exploded the way she did and pushed the wrong person.
“Hey,” Rafael says, slipping a finger beneath my jaw and tilting my head back. “What’s wrong?”
A tear slips out of my eye and runs down my cheek. “It’s my fault,” I whisper.
“Look at me, Julietta.”
I meet his eyes, and he keeps hold of my chin. “Talk to me.”
“We were arguing,” I say, my voice trembling. “She got upset at me for being your mistress.” Liar. Liar. Liar. “And she started yelling and screaming. Then a man came in and told her to stop. She wouldn’t, so he shot her. He just shot her. If it wasn’t for me being who I was to you, she wouldn’t have been killed.”
“That’s completely untrue. My world is risky, Julietta. Not only was she married to me, but her father was part of it, too. She got in a bad situation. She knew how not to react, and she reacted. There was nothing you could have done.”
Yes, there was.
I could have not informed her I was pregnant with her husband’s baby. “Maybe.”
“No matter what when went down between the two of you, it wasn’t your fault.”
“Did you ever find out who took us?” I ask, redirecting the conversation.
He shakes his head. “No.”
The fact that he’s not asking me if I remember anything tells me he does know who took us. If he didn’t, he’d be asking questions. The real question, I suppose, is does he know Riccardo was the one who took me after Maria was killed?
“You weren’t there when I arrived,” Rafael asks gently.
“I got away and ran. I didn’t look back. I was so angry at you, so horrified by what I saw.”
His thumb strokes my skin, soothing. “It’s a hard thing to witness.”
“That’s the an understatement,” I mumble.
“Why did you run?”
I blink. “You know why. You promised your world wouldn’t touch me and it did, in the worst way. I was terrified.” And you were looking into my father behind my back. You were lying to me.
My heart clenches.
“I’m incredibly sorry for that. If I could take it back . . .”
“Well, you can’t,” I say, jerking my chin from his grip. “Can we talk about something else?”
He nods, but his eyes are on mine, concerned. I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that. I wish he wouldn’t care about me.
I wish I didn’t care about him.
But dammit, I do.
CHAPTER 13
“Someone is onto me!” Riccardo bellows, swinging open the door to my apartment and storming in.
I’ve just put Ajax down and am up to my elbows in washing baby bottles when I turn and see Riccardo red-faced, charging towards me. I take a shaky step back because he looks pissed, and last time he was pissed, I suffered because of it.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, rubbing my arms because it suddenly feels cold in here.
“Someone is messing with me. Someone took out one of my guys, one of my most trusted. I think Rafael is onto me. I need to know.”
“He hasn’t said a thing about you,” I say, telling the truth. Rafael does know someone is double crossing him, but I don’t think he realizes it’s Riccardo. I don’t say that. Maybe Riccardo needs to be scared. Maybe he’ll screw up all on his own. “That’s the truth.”
“He wouldn’t tell you,” Riccardo roars, “which is why you’re going to his house tonight, and you’re going to break into his office. I need to know what’s going on.”
My blood runs cold. He can’t be serious. “There’s no way I’m going to even attempt something so utterly stupid!”
Riccardo’s eyes flash to me. “He trusts you. He probably won’t even lock it. You go in when he’s sleeping, you see what you can find. I know the passwords to his computer but I can’t get in there without him getting suspicious.”
“No.” I snap. “No. If he catches me . . .”
“Not my problem. My problem is making sure he’s not onto me. If he finds out I’m the one behind the missing shipments, he’ll do far worse things than kill me. If he catches me, I’ll tell him about you helping me and you’ll die regardless. If you want to keep that baby safe, you’ll go and do as I’m asking.”
My skin prickles.
He’s giving me no way out.
“I’m telling you this will ruin everything. If Rafael catches me . . .”
“If Rafael catches you, you play dumb.”
I shake my head. “You really are stupid, aren’t you? Oh, yeah, Raf, I was just snooping through your computer for no good reason, woopsie.”
Riccardo slaps me.
My head swivels to the side, and tears burn under my eyelids. My cheek burns and anger, betrayal, hurt, and frustration bubbles in my chest, rising up my throat. I explode and turn, grabbing the closest thing I can. A knife from the kitchen counter. I wave it at him and he steps backwards, his eyes flashing with shock. “You ever so much as lay a hand on me again, I’ll drive this right through your dick. It might not kill you, but it will sure as hell make the rest of your life very fucking miserable. You’re right; I did get one thing from you, I’m not afraid to use this, and I’m not afraid to make your life as awful as you’re making mine.”
He takes another step back. “Understood.”
Power.
It’s a small fraction of it, but it gives me confidence. It makes me feel like I may just be able to get out of this.
I lower the knife, but I keep it in my hand.
“Put that down. We’ll continue our discussion,” he orders but his tone is no way near as harsh as it was before.
“I think I’ll hang onto it.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t argue. “I need to know if they’re onto me. The only way to do that is for you to go into Rafael’s office and see what you can find out.”
“Firstly, you and I both know Rafael would never keep information like that lying around in his office or on his computer for anyone to find.”
“Yes, he would,” he argues. “He keeps all his records and information in that office. All I need is some names, or a location, or a number. Something for me to start trying to figure out what the hell he knows.”
“This is too dangerous. If he catches me . . .”
“If you’re smart,” he growls, “he won’t.”
“You’re asking me to break into his office, hack his computer, and basically invade every ounce of personal space he has. If he does catch me, I’ll never be able to explain it away. It’s too risky.”
“He won’t catch you.”
“He might!”
“If you’re careful, he won’t. But to be extra sure, you drug him.”
I blink. “You’ve lost your damned mind.”
His eyes flash to the knife. “It’s a good idea. You go over, you eat with him, tip a sleeping tablet into his wine, and take him to bed. When he’s out, you sneak into his office.”
“He’s probably got cameras in there,” I try.
“He does but I’ll tell you how to disable them.”
“No,” I snap. “No, I won’t do it.”
“You will fucking do it, or I’ll have someone pay your sweet father a visit.”
I flinch, and my chest clenches. “Please don’t ask me to do this.”
“I’m not asking,” he says. “I’m telling. Tomorrow nigh
t, Julietta. I’ll have everything you need sent over here for you before you go.”
I open my mouth to argue with him, but as always, he turns and storms out.
I have a really, really bad feeling about this.
~*~*~*~
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
It feels so wrong.
I think I’m going to vomit.
I pull out my phone and text my mom for the hundredth time, making sure Ajax is okay. I can’t remove the uneasiness from my belly. It feels dangerous. I feel as if something really bad is going to happen. Riccardo has assured me that if I follow his every instruction nothing will go wrong, but I don’t believe him. I can’t. Dammit.
“Julietta.”
I glance up. The front door is open and there Rafael is, standing, watching me with those beautiful brown eyes. I can’t. I can’t. God. I can’t. All I can think of is what’ll happen to Ajax if I get caught tonight. Will he be safe? Will Riccardo take him, ruin his life, sell him? Vomit rises in my throat.
“Cara, what’s wrong?”
A tear tumbles down my cheek.
Rafael steps forward, pulling me into his arms.
God what am I doing? What kind of monster am I? He doesn’t deserve this. No matter what he’s done, he doesn’t deserve this. Maybe I should just go get my son and come clean. I’ll bring him here. Rafael will keep us safe.
But then there’s my father.
And mother.
And Celia.
Riccardo will make sure someone gets hurt. I’m sure of it. I can’t protect them all, and he knows it. He has me over a barrel and his hand is firmly planted against my back, keeping me there. I can’t roll forward or back. I can only stay in the same spot, begging for someone to save me before I rot there.
“I’m just having a really hard time,” I whisper.
Rafael holds me tightly, so tightly I almost believe he can put me back together, but I’m the kind of fucked up that can’t be fixed. “Come inside.”
He pulls me through the threshold and closes the door. The house is quiet, the lights dimmed, and soft music plays in the background. Rafael leads me into the living room and releases me only to get a glass of red wine from the bottle on the counter. He hands the drink to me, raising his hand after I take it and stroking a lone tear from my cheek. Why does he have to be so perfect? Why can’t he just be an asshole and make this easier on me?