Oh dear, thought Matthew, oh dear. Not now, he could not bear them now, the hot eager simple emotions of a young girl. How paradoxical that the young are so elementary and formless at a time when they feel their lives to be of a maximum significance. How could one tell them the cruel truth that one is just not interested? He shifted away from her, from her long glowing rosy-brown legs and the fresh appley smell of her dress.
‘Just now I’m going to be away for a bit, but later on perhaps —’
‘Oh and another thing, Matthew, I want you to have the Villa.’
‘The Villa?’
‘Yes, to live in. You can’t go on living in a horrid hotel. The Villa’s empty, you know, and I somehow see you there. You needn’t pay any rent. You’ve got to have somewhere to put your vases and things, and house-hunting in London is such hell now. You could have it for the whole summer or the whole year or longer if you wanted. You see, Ludwig and I will be living in Oxford.’
‘No, no,’ said Matthew.
‘Just while you’re looking round for somewhere permanent then. Oh do live in the Villa, it would give me such joy! You could move in tomorrow.’
Matthew saw himself in the Villa, in quietness, closing the front door.
A large golden retriever was lifting its leg against one of Peter Pan’s fairies. ‘Poor old Tinkerbell,’ said Gracie with a giggle. ‘Do you believe in fairies, Matthew?’
‘Yes.’ There were no more gods, but all the minor magic remained, beautiful, terrible, cruel and small.
Matthew saw the fey wild-haired face of Mavis Argyll, she floated again before him, enchantress, temptress, and as her translucent robe drifted across the scene the ducks quacked and the dogs barked and the lake water glittered amethystine beneath its flowing willows and the willows tossed their pale locks wantonly and an aeroplane bound for London airport buzzed murmurously above them like a great honey bee. Matthew opened the door of the Villa and Mavis Argyll came in.
‘I’ll think about it,’ he said.
‘Ludwig.’
‘Yes, chickadee?’
‘Have a milk chocolate kitten.’
‘No thank you, angel.’
‘Ludwig.’
‘Yes, honeybunch?’
‘You’re not going to be very pleased with something I’m just going to tell you.’
‘Oh Lord, you’re not going to —’
‘No, nothing awful. It’s just that mama and papa are not going to go to the Odmores this weekend after all.’
‘Oh God! Oh no!’
‘It is a nuisance of them, isn’t it?’
‘I’m not going to stand for this,’ said Ludwig.
‘How do you mean? There’s nothing — Oh Ludwig, no — We’ve got to go down, the cocktail party is just starting, they’ll expect us, they’ll look for us, and Matthew’s coming specially to meet you.’
‘Bugger Matthew.’
‘Ludwig, what are you doing? You know the door doesn’t lock, and —’
‘I’m going to jam it with this chair.’
‘Oh do be careful, you’ll break it. Oh, Ludwig, please, mind the tea tray and — Oh dear, why did I tell you —’
‘Come on, Gracie,’ said Ludwig. ‘Get undressed.’ He slipped out of his jacket and began to take off his tie.
‘Not — no, no — not suddenly like this, please —’
‘Yes. Suddenly like this.’ Ludwig undid his belt and dropped his trousers off. The little attic room was hot and stuffy and thick with evening sunshine.
‘Ludwig, I couldn’t bear it if mama and papa came, they’re certain to come to fetch us, and —’
‘Take your dress off, Gracie.’
‘And I haven’t anything —’
‘I have. Come on.’
Ludwig took off his shoes and socks and pants and his shirt last of all. He stood before her naked, sweaty, hairy, erect. Gracie stood there in her silky cream-coloured party dress, her hands at her bosom. Ludwig pulled the little narrow bed out from under its white shelf and ripped the counterpane off it.
‘Ludwig,’ said Gracie, ‘I’ve never done this before. I’ve never seen — before —’
‘I’ve done it, but it never meant anything till now,’ said Ludwig. ‘Forgive me.’ He was trembling. He felt ugly before her, gross, smelling of sweat and sex. She had never seemed more delicately inaccessibly desirable. He had never made love to a virgin. What would it be like? How could she not detest him? He saw her revulsion and her fear, and for a moment he thought of getting dressed again. But if he did so there would be this new barrier between them, everything would be even more difficult. And by now desire was too fierce, he was fainting with it.
‘Gracie, please, darling — Help me too — Undress. It has to be.’
Gracie unbuttoned her dress. Her things fell into a pile on the floor. Her eyes were vague with fright. She was shuddering, her teeth were chattering, and when he touched her breasts and then drew her body up against his, she felt rigid and cold though he could feel her heart striking against him. She leaned stiffly upon him, cool and dry and quivering against his hot greasy sweaty passionate flesh. ‘Oh Christ,’ he said. ‘Quickly. Quickly.’ She climbed awkwardly into the bed and lay passive as he knelt and eased himself upon her. Tears came out from under her closed eyelids.
‘Where are those two children?’
‘Chattermagging upstairs as usual.’
‘Who do you think will arrive first?’
‘Pinkie, you do agree about having Char?’
‘Of course, we can’t let her drift off.’
‘Austin has been borrowing money off Ludwig.’
‘I wonder if we should offer him a loan.’
‘A small one.’
‘He wouldn’t accept it naturally.’
‘You relieve my mind!’
‘Will Austin come?’
‘He’ll come for Gracie, he always loves her Natasha act.’
‘I suppose you didn’t invite Mavis and Dorina?’
‘I sort of did, but they won’t come.’
‘Here’s somebody. It’s Hester.’
‘Hester darling, you’re first!’
‘How awful, I always am!’
‘No Charles, no Sebastian?’
‘Charles is coming from the office, and Sebastian’s cramming, he’s so sorry.’
‘Have you heard Gracie’s latest? She’s let the Villa to Matthew for the summer.’
‘Why, Penny, hello. Clara, here’s Penny.’
‘Clara has just been telling me Gracie has let the Villa to Matthew.’
‘I think that’s sinister.’
‘Oh hello, Charles, Mollie, Geoffrey!’
‘Have you heard Gracie’s latest?’
‘Pinkie, do tell the butler he needn’t announce people.’
‘Where is Gracie?’
‘She’s upstairs with — Oh, Mr Enstone, how good —’
‘Is Matthew coming?’
‘We hope — Oh, Oliver, good. Your mama has just arrived.’
‘I hear Karen has chucked art school.’
‘Dr Seldon, how kind —’
‘Is Karen coming?’
‘She’s in the country, she’s becoming a pig maid.’
‘A what?’
‘What a mob. Oh hello, Ann —’
‘Geoffrey has taken up pigs.’
‘Ann dear, how lovely you look —’
‘Gracie has let the Villa to Matthew.’
‘Pinkie, who is that young man by the door?’
‘You mean the one in turquoise?’
‘May I introduce myself. My name is Andrew Hilton.’
‘Oh, Mr Hilton, how good — Mr Hilton, Mr Enstone. Pinkie, Mr Enstone needs a drink —’
‘Where’s Gracie? I thought it was all in aid of —’
‘I hear Gracie’s marrying a German.’
‘Sssh, he isn’t German, he’s American.’
‘Is that him over there?’
‘I suppose that is a
boy, it’s so hard to tell these days.’
‘Why, Richard, how super to see you.’
‘Mollie Arbuthnot is opening a boutique in Chelsea.’
‘Penny, you know Richard Pargeter, don’t you.’
‘What do you do, Mr Hilton?’
‘I teach Latin and Greek. What do you do, Mr Enstone?’
‘I’m afraid I’m a clergyman.’
‘Isn’t Ann Colindale looking stunning.’
‘Is Matthew here?’
‘I don’t think so, Oliver.’
‘Pinkie, where are Gracie and Ludwig?’
‘I hear Austin’s son is back.’
‘He’s on drugs.’
‘They all are.’
‘Penny Sayce looks ancient.’
‘You’d look ancient if your husband had just died of cancer.’
‘Poor Penny — I say, Ann, whoopee, long time no see.’
‘What with Martin dead and Oliver queer and Henrietta most peculiar —’
‘Hello, Richard, let’s have lunch.’
‘Hello, Ann. Excuse me I must just —’
‘Oh hello, Richard — I’m afraid Karen isn’t here.’
‘Where is Gracie?’
‘Oh, Char darling, you’ve come, how marvellous, Penny, here’s Charlotte — Pinkie, give Charlotte a drink, one of her specials, Char, do sit down, I know you’re not a stander-upper.’
‘Oliver Sayce lets his ten-year-old sister drive his sports car on the M1.’
‘Mollie Arbuthnot’s boutique will sell only white things.’
‘There’s Richard Pargeter, you know he’s divorced again.’
‘Pinkie, do go and call Gracie and Ludwig, they’re being so naughty.’
‘Oliver Sayce is making a fortune in the antique book trade.’
‘I’m dying to see Gracie’s German.’
‘Is Sebastian here?’
‘Don’t be silly.’
‘Sebastian is studying chartered accountancy.’
‘Isn’t that Charlotte Ledgard?’
‘I thought she’d run away to sea.’
‘She only ran as far as Bailey’s Hotel.’
‘Why, Matthew, how marvellous! Look, everybody, here’s Matthew! Matthew, you remember Penny — Geoffrey, do come and — Matthew, how lovely —’
‘I think I see some familiar faces.’
‘Rather the worse for wear.’
‘Clara, I — oh hello, Matthew!’
‘Matthew, how super!’
‘I thought there was going to be a pregnant silence.’
‘Matthew is rather like a visiting general.’
‘Everyone has recovered.’
‘Clara, I think Gracie and Ludwig have gone out. I called, but there’s not a sound from upstairs.’
‘Karen Arbuthnot has become a pig maiden.’
‘Matthew has got fat and old.’
‘We all have.’
‘Is that really Sir Matthew Gibson Grey?’
‘Clara, we want Gracie!’
‘I thought Matthew had become a monk.’
‘Perhaps he has, it’s so hard to tell these days.’
‘Penny Sayce believes in salvation by bridge.’
‘Pinkie, are you sure that Gracie and Ludwig —’
‘Afraid my Latin’s a bit rusty. Did some New Testament Greek of course.’
‘Richard, let’s have lunch.’
‘Charles and Geoffrey are discussing the crisis.’
‘May I get you another drink, sir?’
‘Thank you, dear boy.’
‘Henrietta Sayce has won the under twelve bridge championship.’
‘Is Dorina here?’
‘Don’t be silly.’
‘Dr. Seldon is discussing liver fluke with Geoffrey.’
‘I don’t think people should invite doctors, they’re such a memento mori.’
‘Do you think that butler’s just hired for the occasion?’
‘Of course he is! Richard thought the butler was real!’
‘Matthew and Oliver are discussing Oscar Wilde.’
‘Why, Austin, isn’t that lovely, Austin’s come — Pinkie, here’s Austin, how super —’
‘Is that Austin Gibson Grey?’
‘He looks like a poet.’
‘Where is Gracie?’
‘Is that Gracie’s intended?’
‘No, darling, that’s Ann.’
‘No head for languages, I’m afraid.’
‘Richard Pargeter is going to buy a yacht.’
‘Is the young man in turquoise Ludwig?’
‘Austin, I’m still job-hunting for you —’
‘George, for God’s sake don’t waste your time.’
‘I did want to say if ever you’re short we could —’
‘Thank you, George, I would actually like a loan, how much could you let me have?’
‘Well — er — I’d have to — Clara’s signalling, excuse me — yes, Austin, we’ll definitely arrange — excuse me —’
‘Matthew looks like a businessman.’
‘My dear, he is a businessman.’
‘Char darling, you’re puss in the corner as usual.’
‘You know I hate parties.’
‘Who are you pushing, Richard P.?’
‘Sorry, I just wanted to get at Matthew.’
‘Penny dear, Hester has just been telling me about Mollie’s boutique, it will sell nothing but white things.’
‘Geoffrey’s pigs have all got liver fluke.’
‘I say, Clara, Austin accepts our offered loan with enthusiasm.’
‘Never mind, Pinkie, I must be getting drunk.’
‘Clara, what a super party.’
‘Clara, where is Gracie?’
‘Pinkie, do go and look for them —’
‘Oh hello, Austin.’
‘Hello, Matthew.’
‘Your job must be very interesting too, Mr Enstone.’
‘How about a drink some time soon, Austin?’
‘Sorry, Matthew, I’m just leaving town.’
‘Is Ludwig the man with the lace ruffles?’
‘No, that’s Oliver Sayce.’
‘Hester, we were so sorry Sebastian couldn’t make it to the Mill House.’
‘Look, Matthew and Austin are talking!’
‘No, they aren’t. Austin’s talking to Charlotte.’
‘About time somebody did.’
‘Wish I’d made it to Oxford.’
‘Austin is drunk.’
‘So am I.’
‘So is Mollie Arbuthnot.’
‘Where are Gracie and Ludwig?’
‘Karen Arbuthnot has got liver fluke.’
‘Austin is sloshed.’
‘He’s gone off to the loo.’
‘Where is the loo?’
‘Char, I do want to talk to you —’
‘Mr Enstone and the young man in turquoise are boring each other into agony and have had empty glasses for ten minutes.’
‘Oh, Char, you do make me blush, I’m a rotten hostess.’
‘Yes, wonderful place, Oxford.’
‘Mr Enstone, I must introduce you to Lady Odmore, she’s so interested in the liturgy. Mr Hilton, do meet Oliver Sayce, he’s in the antique book trade.’
‘Oh, hello!’
‘Hello!’
‘I feel quite faint with relief.’
‘I’ve been wondering who you were all the evening.’
‘Char, listen darling, you’re going to come and live here with us, we’ve decided it all, there’s plenty of room and we just couldn’t bear it if you were anywhere else, you can sleep in George’s study and have Gracie’s room when she moves, we’ll bring the car at the weekend and collect all your stuff from the Villa, and then we shall be so snug here when we’re all together, so let’s say it’s fixed and —’
‘It’s very kind of you, Clara —’
‘Not at all, my dear, you know how anxious we are —’
‘It’s very
kind of you, Clara, but I have just made another arrangement.’
‘You can’t stay in that hotel —’
‘I’m going to live in Austin’s flat, we’ve just fixed it, he’s letting me have it for a low rent. I feel I need a place of my own.’
‘Char — you’re going to live in Austin’s flat?’
‘Not with Austin, dear.’
‘Gracie and Ludwig are the limit.’
‘Matthew is leaving.’
‘Austin is locked in the loo.’
‘Everybody, Matthew is leaving.’
‘Oliver and the turquoise man have gone to the pub.’
‘Matthew has left.’
‘Hester, you and Sebastian must —’
‘Thank you, dear Mollie —’
‘We must leave too —’
‘Clara, thank you so much —’
‘Geoffrey is carting Mollie.’
‘Love to Karen.’
‘Love to Sebastian.’
‘Love to Henrietta.’
‘Love to Ralph.’
‘Goodbye — Why here they are!’
‘Gracie and Ludwig, just when everybody’s leaving!’
‘Gracie and Ludwig, how wonderful they’re looking!’
‘Just like a god and a goddess!’
‘Wait, everybody, Gracie and Ludwig —’
‘Gracie and Ludwig!’
‘Hooray!’
My dear George,
it was so kind of you to press a loan upon me, but I think that I can manage perfectly well without your help.
Yours
Austin
My dear Karen,
thank you for a super luncheon, for which it was sweet of you to pay, and excuse this short note as I have exams.
Love
Sebastian
My dear Louis,
do come and see me, all well of course and nothing else to say,
love
Dorina
My dear Austin,
I am now living at the Villa, at home every morning and very anxious to talk to you. Will you ring?
Your affectionate brother
Matthew
LIVINGSTONE SUGGESTS PLEAD TOTAL CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTION LETTER FOLLOWING LEFERRIER.
Dearest Patrick,
no time write as am busy Ludwig all time forgive,
eternal love
Gracie
Dearest Hester,
so glad you will come to the Mill House, we are dying to see you and Charles and Sebastian down here, I will telephone about time, Karen sends love,