Read An Accidental Pirate, The Adventures of Captain Pigtail McQueue Page 16
Chapter 15
Meanwhile, back in the underground, the Flugs were not happy one bit about their dirt being hit so hard with cannonballs. To make matters worse, the dirt was thrown up into the air and blown away from the point where the Flugs had put it in the first place. No one was allowed to move dirt from its proper place unless it was the Wind Hag when she had a sand storm going on. But she, at least, filled out all the proper paper work about dirt displacement. The Flugs in the Department of Dirt always approved of the Wind Hag's request of dirt displacement. That was mainly due to the fact that they would all regret it if they didn't do as the Wind Hag requested.
The news of the attack on the dirt was heralded up and down the tunnels. The Flugs formed battalions and Gape and Gog were elected to be the ones to inform the Wind Hag of the security breach in her territory. They were not happy about this. The Wind Hag didn't like breaches in security. At least they were assuming that the Wind Hag wouldn't like this. They really didn't know for sure simply because no one had the guts to go against the Wind Hag. Whoever had done this would soon regret it. That was the one thing that Gape and Gog knew was true.
They knocked on the door to the throne room. They waited for Ethel to answer the door. As the door slowly opened they saw Ethel standing there with a wig on top of her head. It wasn't your everyday kind of wig either. It was one of those that had about three stories to it. It was almost as big as Ethel. This wasn't saying a whole heck of a lot since Ethel was an ant.
"What the heck are you wearing, Ethel?" Gog asked.
"It's a wig; her Royal Haggness wanted to play a game and for some reason this game included me wearing this wig. As to why, I have no idea," Ethel told them.
"It's because the game we were really playing was 'make Ethel look silly' and I won. Of course, I always win. That's because I'm the Wind Hag. Now what in roots cellar name are you doing knocking on my door and disturbing my game?" The Wind Hag demanded.
"Begging your pardon, your Royal Haggness, but there has been a breach of security."
"Goodness gracious, you two are so weak minded you let those stupid pirates influence you. Well, newsflash, there are no beaches here. That's because there is no water in the area to form a beach. So you two get back to work while Ethel and I play another game." She dismissed the two sentries with a wave of her hand.
They didn't know what exactly to do next. Should they follow orders and leave and not inform her of the security breach and end up paying for it later when she learned of it. Or did they correct her and face her wrath for having done so. Gape looked at Gog and shrugged. Gog looked at Gape and shrugged right back at him. So then Gog took a deep breath and decided to bite the bullet and get the worst over with now rather than wait for later.
"Begging your pardon, again, your Royal Haggness, but we didn't say 'beach' we said 'breach,' as in someone breached security. Someone attacked our dirt in quadrant 51 and caused the dirt to be displaced and they didn't have the authority from the Department of Dirt to do so." Gog held his breath as soon as he finished waiting for her wrath.
"So a little dirt got displaced, it happens. I don't think that it is very important. The dirt will eventually end up back where it started. Thank you for telling me. Oh, and Gog, if you ever imply that I misheard you again then you'll be pushing up daisies like Dreson. Do I make myself clear, Gog?"
"Absolutely, but begging your pardon once again, speaking of Dreson, he claims that it wasn't just one breach, but two and the dirt was displaced because of an attack on it by cannonballs. It happened in his quadrant and he witnessed the whole thing. He was just sitting there working on pushing up the daisies, which wasn't an easy task, because some oxen had unloaded right on top of the daisies and they got hungry and greedy and so they ballooned in size and it was making it that much harder for him to push them up, what with the increase in weight. Anyway, he saw this wagon train being attacked and cannonballs being fired and landing on the dirt and kicking it up in great plumes. He also said that the wagon train members had been robbed by their attackers." Gog closed his eyes waiting for her fury to hit him. When nothing happened for a few minutes he dared to take a peek to see what was going on. Gape was hunkered down at his feet as if to shield himself from her wrath. He too had his eyes closed tight. As Gog slowly dared to look at the Wind Hag he saw her sitting in her throne looking thoughtful.
"When she noticed that he was looking at her she smiled an amazing wicked smile at him.
"I'm thinking that the stupid human pirate, you know, the one who needed my assistance to get back home to the Gulf, has taken it upon himself to start robbing. Yes, I think that is what he is doing. Poor man, he not only is not going home but he's made a very stupid move, to go against me. Yes, I'll make him and his crew pay for what they have done. Who do they think they are invading my territory and harming the people who depend on my protection? Send for the Flug covert operatives, I have need for their special skills. Well, don't just stand there, MOVE!" She exclaimed with a big huff of wind being expelled from her mouth. It was a strong enough burst of wind to knock Gog and Gape off their feet. It took a good two minutes for them to scramble to their feet and hightail it out of the throne room.
The Wind Hag sat there on the throne and drummed her fingers on the arm rest. It was quite obvious from the look of concentration on her face that she thinking of what to do to get even with those stupid humans. Ethel took this opportunity to remove the silly wig from her head. She then scurried to her desk and grabbed a pen and parchment to take down any notes the Wind Hag may need taken.
It was over an hour before the covert operatives made it to the throne room. They were granted immediate entrance into the throne room.
"It's about time, I need you to find the hide out of the pirates and let me know where it is and when they are there. Then I will send the mother of all sandstorms after them and make them regret ever attacking someone in my territory. So go find them and for goodness sake, keep out of sight. I don't want them to know I know where they are hiding. This way I'll have the element of surprise. It makes things so much worse when you spring it on them suddenly." She had a wry smile on her face as she pictured just what she was going to do to them. She had decided that she would send out a very strong sandstorm but not one strong enough to send them back to the Gulf. Nope, she would see to it that they never made it back there. Well, at least not alive. This thought brought another smile to her face.
The covert operatives left the throne room and went straight to their commander to tell him of her orders. They were offended by her 'keep out of sight' remark. They were called 'covert' for a reason. They were experts at concealing themselves. Gorbook was the best covert field agent they had. He was a master of disguise. He once portrayed a cactus to such great success that it sent chills up and down his commanding officer's back, like little needles poking him. At least, that was what the commanding officer thought until he realized he had sat up against Gorbook and then he screamed in pain from all the cactus needles stuck in him. Gorbook hadn't been allowed to be a cactus ever since, much to his consternation.
Upon learning of the orders, the commanding officer, Gahn, agreed that this was a job for Gorbook. He also agreed that it was such an important job that he could even get his cactus suit out again and go as a cactus. But he made it clear to Gorbook that he was to take off the costume before entering the C.O.'s office. Gorbook left the office immediately, before the C.O. could change his mind and headed topside to carry out his mission.
Gorbook talked to all those Flugs that had been banished by the Wind Hag to live topside. He was able to follow the trail of the robbers pretty easily by following their directions. He soon figured out that they were hiding in the Bermuda Grass Square. Not his idea of a great place to go. He was just as superstitious as the next Flug and he feared the Square. The stories of dirt being dug up and moved without its consent were the scariest thing he could imagine. But he would have to ignore and overcome his fears in order
to fulfill his mission. He just hoped they would give him hazard pay for this particular mission.