Noel eyed her from her head to her bunny slippers and grinned. “I guess you’re not expecting much company.” Holly’s eyes widened and her toes bunched. She had traded scrubs for loungewear. No one at the hospital would’ve guessed she’d wear something like this. But it was too late to hide from Noel.
Noel tilted his head and peered past Holly. “I’m sorry to have come unannounced. I don’t mean to bother you and your family.”
Holly waved him inside. He clearly wasn’t going to just drop off a plate of cookies. “Come in, Noel. You’re not bothering anyone. I live alone.” For the first time, she hated to admit that.
He hesitated. “Um. Well, I hope I’m not interrupting your evening.”
Yeah, okay he was, but she refrained from telling him so. Instead, she shook her head. “You’re not.” Noel slipped off his snowy jacket and hung it on the coat rack. Holly pointed to the living room. “Have a seat.”
Noel set the plastic wrapped plate of cookies onto the coffee table, hiked the hems of his trousers, and plopped onto the couch. He hadn’t changed his clothes since the party. Holly glanced at his penguin print tie and then down at her homey attire.
He loosened his tie and winked at her. “Nice snowflake pants. You would have been a hit at the party in those. Why did you leave? I turned around and you were gone.”
She hesitated and then lied. No way was she going to admit that she was dodging an encounter with the elder Dr. Thornton. Holly had no idea he’d make a guest appearance. “My pager went off. I needed to check on Mrs. Shale. You remember, my patient with the cholecystectomy?”
“Yeah, I recall. Is she okay?”
“Yes, fine. Afterwards, I decided to home.”
He furrowed his forehead. “I thought you weren’t on call.”
“I wasn’t, but I requested the nurses call me about her.” She hoped he’d drop the inquisition, but just in case he persisted, she changed the subject. Holly hugged her mug. “I’m drinking cocoa, but I could brew some coffee for you.”
Noel shook his hand. “No need, but I’ll have some of that cocoa.”
“It’s from a mix,” she blurted out guiltily. Her mom made the best hot chocolate, the kind that stuck to your top lip on a bitter winter day. The kitchen silent from her mom’s humming and hugs, Holly had switched to instant cocoa years ago. Hers could never taste like her mother’s anyway.
“Sounds good to me.” Noel stood. “I’ll give you a hand in the kitchen.”
“It’s okay, Noel. It’s just cocoa.”
He stood there as if waiting for an invitation.
“Relax. I’ll bring you a cup.”
Clearly this wasn’t about cocoa.
Holly strode into the kitchen and set her cup onto the counter. She could ask him into the kitchen. No, that’d be awkward. She had already told him to stay where he was. Too late now. The moment had passed. Holly crossed her hands and shivered.
“Noel,” she called. “There’s a thermostat on the hallway wall. Could you inch it up a bit?”
“Sure,” he answered, his voice suspiciously not that distant.
Holly filled a kettle with milk and set it on the stove. She turned around to fetch a mug from the cupboard and smacked into Noel. Holly jerked back and blinked. Her heart beat wildly.
He embraced her shoulders. “I’m so sorry to have startled you. I took care of the heat, and I thought I’d come here to help you. Noel cocked his brow. “Not helping, am I?”
She didn’t have to wait for the heat to kick in. His touch warmed her plenty.
“That’s all right. Thanks for adjusting the thermostat.” She pointed to the top kitchen cabinet. “You can get a mug down from there.”
Noel reached into the cupboard and pulled out a mug. Holly reared back, her eyes wide open.
He stared at her, his eyes nearly as wide as hers. “Um. I’m guessing not this one.”
Noel had plucked out her dad’s favorite mug. She had forgotten it was still up there.
“No. It’s fine. It’s a good mug,” she said, her voice cracking. “Fine. Fine. Fine. Bring it here.”
He gingerly jutted the cup towards her. Holly sprinkled cocoa dust into it and filled it with warm milk.
“Spoons are in the drawer to your left,” she said. Their gazes met.
“Okay,” he said slowly, carefully. Noel reached into the drawer and pulled out a spoon, his eyes on Holly the whole time.
Holly cleared her throat. “Let’s go to the living room, shall we?”
Still cautious, Noel nodded. “Okay.”
She grabbed her mug from the counter and headed toward the couch. He followed close behind, the steam from his hot chocolate teasing the back of her neck. They settled onto the couch, a sofa pillow between them. He set his hot cup of cocoa on the coffee table and pulled back the plastic wrap from the tray of cookies he had scavenged from the hospital party.
He handed her a chocolate chip cookie. “These are the best.”
“Thanks,” she said, accepting his offering.
Gooey chocolate chunks melted on her lips. She licked the sweet cream away, leaving telltale smudges at the corners of her mouth.
Noel handed her a poinsettia print paper napkin. He grinned. “Told you they’re the best.”
She dabbed her lips. “My favorite, too.”
He grabbed the TV remote. “Mind if I change the channel?”
“No, go ahead.” After all, he was her guest.
Wouldn’t she know it? The guy picked, ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, the Christmas classic movie she had perused right by.
Noel crunched on a cookie and smiled. “I love this part. Who would have thought a swimming pool would lie under a gymnasium floor? Amazing. I wish I went to a high school like that. We had a gym, and we had a pool. But two in one? Whoa! That was some architectural coup.”
They watched the dancing high school students on screen fall into the pool as the magical gym floor parted beneath them, giggling like teenagers themselves. That was the second time he had made her laugh that day, a holiday personal record for her.
By the end of the movie, they had devoured the cookies.
Noel leaned back into the couch and rubbed his belly. “That takes care of dinner.”
“I’m stuffed as well.” She scooted into the corner of the couch and sat cross-legged facing him. “You’re new at the hospital. Where did you come from?”
“I grew up in the Northeast, but when my family moved to Houston, I followed them. I practiced general surgery there for a few years. After the woman I was going to marry ran off with a fellow surgeon, I needed a change of scenery. That’s how I ended up in New Hampshire. Granite State Medical Center offered me a good position. I accepted.”
Holly shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” He grinned. “I like it here so far. Some things are just meant to be.”
Her palms grew moist. She quickly wiped them on her snowflake pants. “I don’t think so.”
“Don’t believe in kismet, do you?”
“I believe random events happen.”
They sat in silence.
Why does he keep smiling at me? Especially since I trounced his destiny theory.
“This is quite a large house for you. Did you grow up in it?”
“Sort of. I spent my childhood here. I moved out for a while, then I returned.”
“Ah, sentimental reasons. Your folks retire to a smaller place? Are they nearby?”
Holly pressed her lips together. More questions. Questions she didn’t want to answer. Noel was a nice enough guy. He meant no harm. Apparently he didn’t know, and she wasn’t ready to confess the past to him.
“Yes. They are in a smaller place close by,” she said. That was true. The cemetery was not far.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t intend to pry.”
“That’s all right,” she said pointedly, hopefully making it clear to Noel that she didn’t want to discuss the issue any furth
er.
He picked up their empty mugs and the tray with cookie crumbs. “I’ll take these to the kitchen.”
“Thanks. Put them in the sink. I’ll get to them later.”
Noel returned to the living room and sat back on the couch. He tossed the pillow that had separated them to one side and scooted closer to Holly. Her foot twitched. “Where’s your Christmas tree?”
Holly shrugged. “I don’t have one.”
“I don’t either. I have boxes all over my apartment. I’ve been so busy getting used to the hospital, I haven’t purchased one yet. But there’s time. I passed this Christmas tree lot on the way here. They still have plenty of nice evergreens left.”
“I’ll pass this year. Besides, I’m on call Christmas Eve, and I have plans for Christmas Day. I really don’t have time to decorate a tree.”
That explanation would have to suffice. Aunt Mae dismantled the last Christmas tree to grace that house after her parents’ funeral while Holly stayed tucked away in her aunt’s home with family friends.
Noel snapped his fingers. “What a coincidence! I’m on call Christmas Eve, too. Hey, I have an idea. Since we’re both pressed for time, and away from our families, let’s share a tree. I’ll even pay for it.”
He had a childhood glimmer in his eyes with that “please, please, can we?” kind of look. She couldn’t completely decline his proposition, not now anyway.
“Noel, that’s sweet of you. Maybe. I don’t know.”
He took her hands. “It will be fun.”
She didn’t pull away from him, but shook her head.
“Just think about it.” He let her loose. “I’ve taken up enough of your night. I’ll see you in the morning on rounds.”
“I enjoyed the company and the cookies.” Holly didn’t want him to leave, but they had just met. She didn’t want to be pushy. And she was hopelessly out of practice.
“We’ll have a proper dinner next time.” Noel stood. “May I use your bathroom before I go?”
“Sure. It’s down the hall, first door on your left.”
Holly rocked out from the couch and walked over to the window. Peeking through the drapes, she watched the boys from next-door tap snow from their shovels. With the TV on and then immersed in conversation with Noel, she missed that they had cleared the snow from the drive. She opened the front door and yelled, “Thanks, boys. Wait here. I’ll get some money.”
“No need to pay us, Dr. Green. It’s the holidays.”
“Yes, it is. But I want to give you something.”
She hurried to her bedroom to retrieve her wallet. Holly halted in the doorway. There stood Noel, in her bedroom, staring at the ornament decorated framed picture of her and her parents.
Holly skidded to a stop. Her breath pumped. “What are you doing in my bedroom?”
Noel stared at her, question deep in his eyes. “They’re not alive, are they?”
He had discovered that which she had worked so hard to bury during the holidays. Now she was forced to tell him.
Chapter Four
“I didn't mean to take a wrong turn," Noel said. “I was on the way to the bathroom when I saw a sparkle from the corner of my eye. It was coming from these ornaments.” Noel pointed to the glittering globes hanging from the picture on her dresser. He reached for the photo. Holly held her breath. But his hand stopped short of the frame. “This is an old photo of you and your parents. I noticed there aren’t any recent ones anywhere in your house. And you were so evasive when I asked you about them. Then I figured it out. They aren’t retired. They’re gone.”
Her throat burned and her eyes began to sting. Don’t do it! Don’t cry! Emotions banged in Holly’s head so she simply nodded.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I recognize you. You look about twelve here."
Holly took a stuttering breath. "Actually thirteen. It's the last photo of my parents and me. They died two weeks after that picture was taken at a Christmas tree farm we visited every year."
Noel backed away from her dresser. Their awkward gazes collided in silence.
Holly cleared her throat and interrupted the quiet. "Uh, the bathroom is one door down. I’ll meet you afterwards in the living room.”
Noel raked his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t intend to invade your privacy, and I, uh, certainly didn’t expect to be in your bedroom, for uh, any other purpose,” he stammered.
Holly lightly scratched her cheek. “It’s all right, Noel. I didn’t take it that way.”
“Okay then.” He pointed toward the door. “I’ll meet you back in the living room.”
They danced around each other, their heads bobbing to and fro, dodging one another just like in the hospital when they first met.
She waved her hand toward her bedroom door. “Please, you first.”
He fiddled with his shirt collar. “Thanks.”
Between the two of them, she didn’t know who was more flustered.
***
Meanwhile, Holly sat on the sofa. She pressed her palms to her knees, steadying them before Noel arrived. She yanked a throw pillow onto her lap in a desperate attempt to camouflage her knocking knees.
Noel let out a ‘Humph’, heralding his approach. He sat diagonally, facing her. Holly hugged her pillow.
"If you're not ready to tell me about it, it's okay. I don't want to force you."
He touched her hand. It was warm and unwavering. She hadn’t trusted anyone other than Aunt Mae in years. But there was something about Noel. The way he looked at her, holding her in his gaze a few seconds longer beyond mere politeness. Holly drew a deep breath. She’d say it quickly, like ripping off a Band Aid. “I don't speak to anyone about it. I know they gossip about my avoiding the hospital Christmas party every year, but I doubt they know the truth. I guess they think I'm sort of a Scrooge. I prefer it that way. Please don't mention this to anyone else. I don't want their pity."
Noel gently squeezed her hand and scooted closer to Holly. "Your secret is safe with me. What happened, Holly?”
Her stomach knotted but Holly told Noel everything about the night a drunk driver crashed into her parent's car, fatally wounding them on Christmas Eve. He didn't interrupt her once, nodding at her words. They flowed from her lips until she shared her secret life hidden from hospital view.
She swallowed hard. “I stood there frozen, in the emergency room, unable to move. I didn’t understand what was going on. In between the backs of nurses I caught a glimpse of them, lying separated on blood soaked gurneys. Dr. Thornton yelled, “Get her out of here.” Next thing I remember was my Aunt Mae hugging me to her chest. Some other people took me to her home. She whispered in my ear it was okay to go with them. I can’t recall how much time had past, but when my aunt came home, I looked into her eyes. I knew then my parents were dead.”
Noel shook his head. “I’m sorry I prodded you to that party. You left after seeing Dr. Thornton, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But I don’t blame him. I hadn’t seen him in years, and I didn’t want to relive that night. Ironically, I became a surgeon to heal others when I couldn’t heal myself.”
He touched her cheek. “You do help others, every day. I’m sure your parents are proud of you.”
Her heart hammered in her ears. She feared he’d feel the beat echoing across her cheek. Holly guided his hand from her face, his fingertips the last to leave her hot skin, and squeezed it, giving her hand an intentional chore to distract it from trembling. It worked. Now if she could only stem the moisture from her eyes. The wetness intensified. Noel’s face blurred before her eyes, and the edges of his hair grew fuzzy. Why did he have to say they’d be proud of her? It smacked her unexpectedly hard, right through her chest, the arrow of his well-meaning comfort. She had to think quickly. She had to get out of that couch and out of that room before she’d embarrass herself. Holly Green, M.D. never cried. And she wasn’t going to start today.
She turned her head away from him and pushed off the sofa. “I?
??ll make us coffee,” she said. It was the best excuse that came to her. Holly fought not to bolt to the kitchen. That would be too obvious.
She could hear herself breath as she scooped the grains into the filter. Holly held her breath. Silence. Relieved that Noel hadn’t followed her, she spread her hands across the counter and leaned forward. Her pulse slowed in tandem with the pop -pop of the percolator.
“Sugar or cream?” Holly called from the kitchen.
“Both, please,” he replied.
She poured two cups and grabbed two saucers. Blinking the moisture from her lower lids, she returned to the living room with the steaming java and set them onto the coffee table.
“Thanks,” he said. “That smells great.”
She nodded. “Special blend.”
They stirred their coffee. The tinkling sound of silver spoons against porcelain filled the air. And then it happened. Noel had let her off her cathartic hook. He had changed the subject.
Between sips, they shared anecdotes from their medical school and surgical training years. They too were once just like Clifford and Candice. Holly laughed retelling her misadventures and amusing patient antics. What she didn’t mention was Mrs. Shale’s Christmas ornament. She’d let Noel believe it was a family heirloom, keeping secret about her patient’s gift. She didn’t want anyone to see her as growing soft, except maybe Noel. And that was a “big maybe.”
They set down their empty cups, their tales exhausted, their guffaws waning. The tapping of snow shovels against asphalt echoed through the living room window. They stood at the same time.
“The boys must be finished clearing the drive.”
Noel winked. “Let’s go see if they’ve done a decent job.”
They walked to the window. Holly pulled back the curtains. Noel leaned in behind her and rested his hand on her back. She peeked through the frosty glass. He moved closer to her, grazing her cheek with his. Holly’s shoulders melted the second Noel touched her. She leaned back into his chest, so solid, so secure. Noel wrapped his arms around her. Letting Noel Shepherd into her house was the best decision she’d made all day.
“Hey, those boys have certainly earned their pay.” He eased in closer and said softly in her ear, “I would have done it for free, you know.”
Holly twisted around in his arms and faced Noel. She grinned. “Not in those shoes.”