An Incredible Case of Dinosaurs
Barnes & The Brains
Kenneth Oppel
Dedication
for Philippa
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1 Splish Splash
Chapter 2 Prehistoric Glurp
Chapter 3 Into the Deep
Chapter 4 Dinosaur!
Chapter 5 Smarter Than You Think
Chapter 6 The Big Deal
Chapter 7 Hatched
Have you read all of the Barnes & the Brains adventures?
Also by Kenneth Oppel
Copyright
About the Publisher
Chapter 1
Splish Splash
Giles Barnes settled back in the bathtub with a contented sigh.
He’d just managed to work up a thick bubbly foam on the water’s surface, when the bathroom door suddenly flew open and Tina and Kevin Quark walked straight in and stood at the edge of the tub, looking down at him expectantly. Giles could only stare back at them, speech-less.
“Knocking,” he managed to say. “Ever heard of it?”
“We have secured another commission,” said Tina grandly.
“We’ve got a job,” added Kevin.
“Kevin,” said Tina with a weary sigh, “that’s what I just said.”
“Could have fooled me.”
Giles slid lower down in the tub, the water lapping against his chin. Life had seemed so simple before he’d met Tina and Kevin. Now that he’d been fully promoted to their genius business, it seemed he never had a moment’s peace. Just last week, they’d been hired to deal with the Walshes’ missing garden gnomes, and the Angelinis’s creaking hinges. Then there’d been a particularly nasty case involving a radio that only picked up country and western music. It didn’t matter what station it was on, or whether the radio was on or off; the same mournful voice and guitar-strumming blared from the speakers.
Giles supposed he should feel grateful that business was going full blast. After all, he’d almost saved up enough for the remote-controlled airplane he’d had his eye on for months. But he couldn’t help wishing things would slow down just a little.
“Here I am, just trying to enjoy a simple bath,” he said to Tina and Kevin, “and in you come like the ‘Ride of the Valkyries’!”
“Ride of the what?” said Kevin.
“Barnes is saying we just barged in,” Tina explained.
“Well, I suppose we did,” said Kevin good-naturedly. “Sorry about that, Barnes.”
“Oh no, not at all!” he said. “Look, just climb right in, both of you!”
“Thank you, Barnes,” said Tina, “but we’re rather pressed for time. Maybe at some later date.”
“It was a joke,” said Giles, rolling his eyes. “So, what’s this new job?”
“A Miss Frost telephoned,” said Tina, taking a small notebook from her pocket. “She says there’s a problem with her swimming pool.”
“What kind of problem?”
“How much do you know about underwater life forms, Barnes?”
“You know,” said Kevin helpfully, “squiggly things with tentacles and suckers the size of—”
“In her swimming pool?” said Giles, glancing nervously at the bath water. “You must be joking!”
“All I know,” said Tina calmly, “is that Miss Frost seems to think she has something strange living in her pool. I personally doubt very much that this is the case, but we’ll need to make a full investigation tomorrow morning.”
“Fine,” said Giles. “Now if you’ll both excuse me, I’m going to pull the plug.”
Chapter 2
Prehistoric Glurp
The big door swung slowly open.
“Mr Frost?” said Giles uncertainly.
“No,” replied the man in the three-piece suit, “I’m Swift, Miss Frost’s personal assistant. You must be the Quark geniuses. Miss Frost has been expecting you. Please come in.”
It was like a museum inside. Giles looked around the grand hallway in amazement. There were Roman busts on columns, ancient tapestries and paintings hanging from the walls, ornate rugs covering the floor.
“An exquisite collection of Dutch Old Masters,” Tina commented, nodding at a row of paintings. “Miss Frost must be a woman of some distinction.”
“Wow!” Kevin exclaimed. “Look at all this stuff! It must be worth a fortune!”
“It is,” said the assistant, giving Kevin a disdainful look. “So please don’t touch anything. Follow me.”
As they passed the living room, Giles thought there was an oddly empty feel to the place. He could see now that there was a fine, dusty silt over all the antique furniture and beautiful ornaments. Old cobwebs trailed from the picture frames.
Swift led them up a swirling marble staircase, then down a long, dimly lit corridor which ended with a set of wide double doors.
“Miss Frost’s office is through here,” the assistant told them, turning the huge doorknob. “Go in, please.”
It was the biggest room Giles had ever seen.
Blinds covered all the windows, casting slices of dusty light into the room. A whole wall was filled with television monitors, scrolling numbers across their screens at a dizzying rate. At the far end of the room was a huge desk, with a long row of telephones on top.
And behind the desk sat an elegant, middle-aged woman. She was very pale, as if she hadn’t seen the sun for quite some time. At the moment she was talking into one of the telephones.
“What do you mean, he won’t sell?” she demanded in a steel-cold voice. “There’s nothing that can’t be bought! Everything has its price. Offer half a million! That should do the trick!”
She slammed down the phone and looked up fiercely at Giles, Kevin, and Tina.
“So,” she said, “you’re the Quark geniuses.”
“Well, they are,” stammered Giles, pointing to Tina and Kevin.
“What are you then?” asked Miss Frost with a scowl.
“I’m Giles Barnes.”
“Not a genius yourself, young man?”
“I’m afraid not, no,” replied Giles awkwardly.
“What a shame.”
At that moment, all the telephones on her desk went off like a bomb.
“Buy!” she barked into the first phone.
“Sell!” she yelled into the second.
“Tell her if she pulls out we’ll sue!” she roared into a third.
Giles swallowed hard.
“All right, then,” said Miss Frost calmly, “where were we?”
Tina cleared her throat and opened her notebook.
“Miss Frost, I can see you’re very busy, so we’ll try to take as little of your time as possible. Perhaps you could tell us more about your swimming pool problem.”
“It’s obvious to me that something is living in it,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m not talking about ducks or geese or swans. Twice this past week, I’ve seen some sort of strange creature break the surface of the water, float on top for a moment, then dive back down again.”
“What did this creature look like?” Tina asked.
“I’ve only seen it at night from the window,” Miss Frost replied, “so I didn’t get a very good look. But it reminded me of a giant jellyfish, or a squid.”
Kevin looked over at Giles and smiled weakly. Tina was busily taking notes.
“And there have been noises,” Miss Frost went on. “A kind of gurgling moan.”
“A gurgling moan?” squeaked Kevin.
“Yes.”
“Have you ever seen it swimming around in day-light?” Giles asked.
“It’s
not that simple,” she replied. “It’s a very large pool, and in very poor shape. I’ve simply been too busy to keep it up and—well, you’ll see what I mean soon enough.”
“What would you like us to do, exactly?” Giles asked.
“I want a full investigation,” said Miss Frost. “I want a comprehensive report. I want to know if what I’ve seen is truly some strange creature, or a figment of my imagination. And, of course,” she added, raising a pale finger in the air, “I insist that you keep this matter strictly secret. I don’t want any of this spreading around, not even to your parents. Rumours start so quickly, and I wouldn’t want people to think I was—”
“A complete loony?” Kevin suggested helpfully. Then he looked down at his feet, his face flushing bright red.
“You’ll have to excuse my brother, Miss Frost,” said Tina. “Sadly, he was not blessed with as large a brain as my own. In fact, in numerous tests I’ve performed on him, it seems he really only has a very tiny brain.”
“I see,” said Miss Frost. “So it turns out I’ve hired one genius for the price of three.”
“I think you’ll find my brain more than makes up for the others,” said Tina with supreme confidence.
“I sincerely hope so,” said Miss Frost. “Swift will show you to the pool now.”
Swift was waiting for them outside Miss Frost’s door, standing as still as a department store mannequin. He made Giles’s skin crawl. They were led back downstairs, then outside onto a broad patio that was surrounded on all sides by a ferociously overgrown garden.
“Here we are,” said the assistant.
Giles frowned. “Um, where’s the swimming pool?”
“Here we are,” Swift said again, looking straight ahead, hands clasped behind his back.
“I don’t understand,” Kevin said.
Swift sighed, picked up a small stone and threw it into a ragged patch of greenery.
Plok!
“There’s water underneath all that?” said Giles, incredulous.
“As Miss Frost indicated, it’s in rather poor repair,” said the assistant, and with that he turned and marched away.
All three of them stood there in stunned silence.
Giles walked cautiously to the edge of the concrete patio for a better look. It was as if the entire garden had just grown right into the swimming pool. A thick carpet of green algae and lily pads covered the water, and strange-looking plants sprouted leafy tendrils across the surface.
“Look at all that glurp!” said Kevin.
“That’s not a word, Kevin,” Tina told him.
“I’d say glurp is a pretty good word for what we’re looking at,” Giles said.
A big, oily bubble bulged on the water’s surface and burst with a thick popping sound.
“It’s like a prehistoric swamp!” he exclaimed. “How are we supposed to see what’s in the pool?”
Tina turned thoughtfully to her brother.
“Kevin, how would you feel about stripping down and just having a little paddle around?”
“Forget it!” Kevin exclaimed.
“No, I didn’t think so,” said Tina regretfully.
“You really think there’s some weird creature in there?” Giles said.
“Of course not,” said Tina confidently. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for what Miss Frost saw.”
Another big bubble popped the water’s surface, and a gurgling moan welled up from the depths of the pool.
Giles looked nervously over at Kevin.
“Could have been the wind,” Kevin said quickly.
“Well,” said Tina, “there’s only one way to find out. We’ll have to go underwater with the bathysphere!”
“The bathysphere?” Giles said to Kevin.
“Don’t even ask,” Kevin replied wearily.
Chapter 3
Into the Deep
“It looks like a washing machine!” Giles exclaimed.
Tina sighed long-sufferingly. “Barnes, even the greatest inventors are forced to work with the raw materials at hand. In this case, a washing machine happened to be the most suitable starting point.”
“Mom was not impressed,” panted Kevin, who had single-handedly pushed the huge contraption from home. He was lying flat on his back on Miss Frost’s patio, catching his breath.
“We can’t go underwater in this thing!” Giles said. “Look at it! There are still dials on top that say RINSE and SPIN CYCLE!”
“I don’t think either of you fully appreciate the greatness of my latest invention,” Tina said haughtily. “This bathysphere is capable of going underwater to great depths, while safely carrying three people inside. It will allow us to make a thorough aquatic examination of the pool.”
Giles walked slowly around the bathysphere, taking a good look. Tina had certainly made a lot of alterations. At the rear was a huge propeller that looked suspiciously like the ceiling fan from the Quarks’ dining room. Four bicycle lights had been bolted to the front. On either side of the bathysphere were bolted, big oil drums, which sounded hollow when Giles tapped them. Thick rubber hosing was wrapped all around the outside, and truck tires were nailed to the base. It was much bigger than a regular washing machine. Giles peered through the round glass hatch. Still, it looked like a tight squeeze in there.
“I’m not sure about this,” Giles said.
“It’s perfectly safe, Barnes,” Tina said. “I’ve tested it extensively.”
“That’s what you said about the turbo toaster,” Kevin reminded her. “Dad nearly lost an eye.” He turned to Giles. “That toast came out of there like a rocket!”
“Fine,” said Tina, “I’ll go alone. All the more glory for me, making the first descent all by myself—”
“All right, all right,” sighed Giles. After all, she was a genius. “We’re coming.”
He helped Kevin to his feet and together they rolled the bathysphere off the deck and into the swampy water. It rode high on the surface, buoyed up by the rubber tires and oil drums.
Tina opened the round glass hatch.
“Everyone in,” she said.
It was a tight squeeze. Giles thought the inside looked like an airplane cockpit, with switches, gauges and buttons on all sides, and overhead, too. He found it all kind of reassuring. Something with this many switches had to work.
Tina clanged the hatch shut behind her and sat at the controls between Giles and Kevin.
“Beginning descent!” she said, pushing buttons and throwing levers.
The bathysphere was slowly sinking. Giles watched as the gurgling water crept higher and higher up the round glass window. Soon it was level with his face, and he could see half below and half above the water. He caught himself holding his breath as the bathysphere sank completely under the surface.
It had become very dark all of a sudden, and Tina flipped another switch. The bicycle lights came on, and the water glowed eerily all around them.
Giles could barely believe they were in a swimming pool. It certainly didn’t look like one.
It was another world, murky-green and vast. There was no sign of any walls. Far below them, the pool bottom was so covered in dirt and stones that it looked like the ocean floor. Fat gas bubbles wobbled past them towards the surface. A school of rainbow-coloured fish flitted across their path.
“Hey, how’d they get in here?” Kevin asked.
“There must be another way into this pool,” Tina said solemnly.
She steered the bathysphere deeper along the bottom.
“Look at that!” said Giles, pointing.
Lying toppled along the bottom was a huge statue of Poseidon.
“It must have fallen in from the patio,” said Kevin. “Wow. It’s like the lost continent of Atlantis down here!”
“Never mind that,” said Tina, “I think I’ve found something interesting.”
She aimed the lights at a long, jagged crack in the pool floor, near the statue. The crack was wide—about half a me
tre, Giles guessed.
“There must be an underground river below,” said Tina. “Or else all the water would have drained through that crack. Let’s have a closer look.”
“Gork!” said Kevin suddenly.
“Sorry, I didn’t quite get that, Kevin,” Tina said.
“Thlurk!” Kevin managed to say.
Giles looked over to see Kevin pointing out the window with a trembling hand, his eyes huge.
“Th…th…there’s something moving over there.”
“Are you sure?” asked Tina.
Kevin nodded.
Tina jiggled a few switches and the beams of light swept around.
“I don’t see anything,” said Giles. “What did it look like, Kevin?”
“Big. Big and floppy.”
“Big and floppy,” said Tina, shaking her head with a sigh. “Very scientific, Kevin. Thank you.”
“Big and floppy and kind of green.”
“Oh, terrific,” said Tina sarcastically.
Suddenly, something struck against the bathysphere window.
Something big and floppy, and definitely green.
“That’s it!” wailed Kevin. “That’s what I saw!”
It was gone so quickly, Giles didn’t even have time to focus on it.
“Let’s surface!” said Kevin. “This isn’t fun anymore!”
“Certainly not!” said Tina. “Not when we’ve just made visual contact!”
“There it is again!” said Giles.
“Don’t go too close,” said Kevin, his voice shaky.
Tina aimed the spotlight at the creature. She sighed.
“So this is it, huh? Big and floppy and green.”
It was a tattered tarpaulin, floating just off the bottom of the pool, its ratty edges undulating like tentacles.
“It looked so much bigger when I saw it,” Kevin said sheepishly.
“This must be Miss Frost’s creature,” said Giles with relief.
“Yes,” said Tina wisely. “A gas bubble must lift the tarp up through the water. At the top, all the gas escapes, and the tarp sinks back down to the bottom. It could keep going up and down like that forever.”
“Well,” said Kevin, who had cheered up considerably, “that’s another case cracked by the Quark genius business.” He nudged Giles. “See, it wasn’t worth getting so scared about, was it?”