In what seemed like a heartbeat I had made it to my room. It was dark and it was cold. A chill reached into me and seemed to draw scars across my soul. Everything seemed wrong. As I turned my head one way and the other images would appear flickering before me. These flickers took on unclear forms and dissipated all too slowly.
I looked above me and trickles of red ran at impossible speeds along the walls. It was blood moving like water.
Then it was gone, replaced by a grey metal roof, curved and barren.
A second later and spikes of light pushed their way into existence throbbing at a speed that seemed to impress itself into every corner of the room. I fell to the floor gasping. I screwed my eyes tight shut and crawled on my hands and knees towards the corner of the room, like one possessed.
A figure made of nothing darted past me and ceased to exist. Behind me I could hear a wheezing breathing. In front of me a gargling gasp for breathe. I squeezed my chest. The sensations were too much. Everything began pressing itself upon me. The walls were moving in. I could hear my name being called. It was all too much. My breathing stopped as oxygen seemed to be drawn away from me. The terror seemed to have pulled the very air from the room.
Still my name was being called and called. It was mocking me. It was smiling and baring its teeth in a wicked grin. It was cackling. This is it. This is the end. I grabbed my throat. I couldn’t take it anymore.
‘Go away! Go away! Please! Please!’ The louder I screamed the closer they got. They were all around me. There was no more room. This is it. I am gone. There are too many people. The room is turning red. It is filling with blood. I’m going to drown. They are here. They are here.
They are gone. There is no more noise. There is light. There is room. I’m drawing in breathe. I’m gasping. I’m crying. It’s gone. It’s not here anymore. My name is being called.
‘George!’
I picked my body up and raised myself onto my knees. Head down and shaking my voice was catching in my throat. I tried again suddenly but couldn’t make a sound. I swallowed. That was better. After a few breathes I asked timidly, ‘who is it?’
‘It’s the computer George. I have been calling you for some time. Is there something the matter? I saw you screaming at the walls. Do you wish for me to alert the medical staff?’ There was little real concern it its voice.
‘No! No. Thank You. I’m alright. It’s not a big deal. Just something…nothing. It’s everything and its nothing. Fuck it. Why am I even talking to a machine, you wouldn’t understand.’ I crossed my arms at the insanity of trying to explain something as complex as what was going on in my head to a machine.
‘On the contrary Sephra prepared me for your unpredictability. He advised that I endeavour to make you watch his presentation on it. He claimed that this would help you on your way to understanding your gift. Ordinarily I would propose you watched it another time but the ship is nearing Ascension’
‘Gift? Never mind. Okay. I’m guess I’m gonna have to find out sometime. At least after everything I have just seen I might get an explanation out of the man.’
‘Very well George. I am acquiring the necessary data. Data resolved. Are you ready to begin viewing?’ I nodded.
‘In the interests of your comfort I recommend viewing this presentation from your chair in order to avoid causing unnecessary stress to your lumbar region.
‘For youe information, this data-stream is not interactive. Additionally there is no further information available on your syndrome, although I can reference similar psychological conditions at your discretion. This presentation is the property of the Eternis Systems and unauthorised distribution of any confidential information to third parties, is strictly prohibited by law. Any opinions expressed in this presentation are of the speakers alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Eternis Systems.’
I settled into my seat. An expanding burst of white particles streamed into the shape of the man I remembered well. Gaining colour and resolution Sephra appeared before my person and appeared to walk towards me.
‘Mr Engeltine, a pleasure as ever. At the time of this recording we shall not have met, but you will know me well. As I am sure you are aware I will be unable to answer any questions directly on account of my recent death.’
Smiling with the mirth of a person who had just told a joke of great design he continued, ‘by now you should know a little of the reasons for which we have altered your genetic code and sent you on your mission. But intrinsically you will not be aware of your syndrome and your abilities. The purpose of this presentation is to inform you of the limited information that we have on your syndrome, in order that you might be sufficiently prepared for the future. If you have any further questions please ask Anieah. The Eternis Systems may well have an outstanding business practices, but even we do not have post-apocalyptic consumer support.’ Sephra’s voice quivered a little as he began to reach the heart of his presentation. ‘Let’s get straight to it.’
‘Artefact 77-x produces in the human brain an adverse reaction of epic proportions. At an unconscious level 77-x has the ability to produce a process of thought by which typically culminates in the self destruction of those affected.
‘Clinical studies suggest that those affect are in some way driven to correct some perceived psychological imbalance through a process of cerebral shutdown. Unfortunately this effect does not simply impose itself upon the individual. Indeed, victims categorically believe that the world around them is saturated with the error, that this essential wrong must be corrected. In all cases of exposure the victims seek to eradicate themselves as well as their surroundings. We do not understand the mechanisms behind this, but a potential theory is that the victims are attempting to clean the environment, to make way for something. Yet ultimately the reality of this theory is yet to be established.
‘When research on the Ascension station produced a possible immunity to the infection our science teams immediately began medical trials.
‘Upon initial exposure the patients appeared to recognise, at least visually, an inherent problem with themselves and the world around them. 77-x appeared to have an identical effect on them. However it became clear that the gene sequence offered to the patients had the ability to neutralise any greater effect. The discord with the world was only temporary. Deeply affective, but temporary nonetheless.
‘As the patients were exposed more and more frequently to 77-x they began to see more and more visions, some of heaven and some of hell. With each vision grew some greater knowledge that they could not understand. We never did find out what it was that they believed they had learnt.’ Sephra moved a little to the right to make way for a diagnostic screen which appeared to be displaying the medical trial’s data.
‘Mid-way through the trials three patients began to exhibit new symptoms. As they were locked down at night their bodies began to shift in a way that I am unable to describe. One day they simply disappeared.
‘Thirteen days after their disappearance they simply appeared. Again we do no know why, no data was recorded on the incident.
‘Curiously the very instant they appeared the other patients died. We do not understand why. A post mortem revealed little. Some of the more radical theories made out that the returning three had drain the patients of something essential. These theories are of course unsubstantiated.
‘My theory is that something went wrong in the trials. Radiation signatures were similar to the technology found on Ascension. It is my belief, and mine alone, that one of the station’s systems responsible for managing the trials safety eliminated the patients. My fears, however, may be unfounded.
‘As a matter of course we questioned those that had returned. Their responses were certainly interesting. They described to us that they had touched upon a source of power, a reality beyond ours. They claimed that their visions had ceased because they had gained, “a fuller understanding.” It is unclear what was meant by this.’ Sephra
rocked unconsciously.
‘Further questioning yielded no information of valye. The patients resisted even our best efforts at information acquisition.
‘In an effort to stop our attempts at this acquisition, they promised us a cure. As a gesture of good faith they improved the gene modification that we had developed and which ultimately you were sequenced with.
‘Despite my reservations about continuing with the project on the Ascension station, the chairman of the Eternis Systems demanded further trials.
‘After initial successes on Ascension the team sent their final message. This was the message that was played to you in our first meeting. The transmission reveals little. It seemed that even they, the best of our creations so far, had failed.
‘Shortly afterward we lost contact with our teams Ascension issued an emergency report which was cut off mid-stream. Around forty five minutes we lost all contact. This is about all the information that I have for you. But I do have some food for thought.
‘Ascension is a station whose composition we can only dream at. Even our teams did not advance so far as to see anything but a glimmer of it. They were confined to the research facilities by the onboard AI. You are about to step into a world untouched by humanity’s downfall. We know so little about the station.
‘What we know is simply this. The station was the greatest construction ever undertaken during the time of the United World. It had been a new Eden, free from the world which conceived it. It was to be a new world where generations of inhabitants would live and die as gods. It was another failed construction of our species.
‘I can tell you no more. So little has been told to our children about the world that existed before our own. Our ignorance has been our downfall. We may never recover from the damage we have caused to ourselves George. But if we ever have any chance to recover what was lost, Ascension is the only way. It is the only project of its scale left from those times. If there is an answer that is where it will be.
‘As always, good luck.’ The holo dissolved into the air. Faint traces of light particles remained, like dead pixels on a screen.
‘Message ends,’ chimed the computer.
‘Well that was less than useless,’ I muttered, my mind still reeling from the confusing mass of typically cryptic information. The man was a frustration. Why couldn’t he just say, ‘this is what is wrong with you. This is how you fix it. This is what to do.’
But that would be too simple. There were never any answers, just more information and that inevitably led to more questions.
I put myself to bed. The darkness drew itself around me I offered a little whimper to the silence and closed my eyes. Tomorrow would bring a new day and I would understand.