Chapter 33
Julia plopped down onto the bed in the Glick’s extra bedroom and closed her eyes. All she felt like doing is sleeping now, but she couldn’t fall asleep. The train ride had been a lot longer than she’d anticipated and the constant rocking did not sit well with her stomach. Fortunately, her morning sickness was over for the most part. Only now did she occasionally feel nauseous.
Dawdi had been correct about the Glicks. They seemed like a really nice couple. She wondered why they couldn’t have children, but she wouldn’t ask. She knew folks that had those kind of troubles usually didn’t like to talk about them. She was thankful that her boppli would be going to a family that cherished children. Of course, most Amish families that she knew did.
Leighton sure didn’t. No, all he wanted from her was one thing – and it didn’t include a baby. When they first met he’d been so sweet and caring. She was certain he was a good man, one she could trust. He was three years older than her and he seemed so mature. And he was Englisch.
They had been dating for a few months before they began a physical relationship. Julia didn’t doubt that she’d loved him, but she knew now that his profession of love had not been sincere. She’d been naïve to believe Leighton’s lie that giving herself to him proved her love. No, she could see now that it only proved one thing: his selfishness.
When she’d told him about the baby, he was shocked. As if he didn’t know how babies were made. Julia rolled her eyes. Leighton pretended to care for her after he found out about the boppli. At least, he did until she refused to keep sleeping with him. Now it was her fault that they broke up because she didn’t “love” him anymore.
Julia wiped away a tear. Why did Leighton have to end up being a jerk? She actually loved him, wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But now that she saw his true colors, Julia was glad that he broke up with her. She wouldn’t want to be married to someone who didn’t value children.
She’d wanted to keep the baby at first, but Dawdi, Dat, and Mamm convinced her that giving the boppli up would be best. They thought she was too young for the responsibility. Too young? Had she not helped raise her brothers and sisters? She already knew what it was like to have boppli. Would it be so bad?
She was certain that the boppli was not the main problem. It was finding a young man to marry her after she’d have the boppli. That was why her folks were so concerned. She couldn’t blame them. How many Amish folks wanted their sons to marry a girl that had been with another man – one she was not married to? Not a one that she could think of.
So she eventually agreed to give the baby up. And now that she knew the boppli would be going to a family that truly wanted a child, she felt like her sacrifice was worthy.
Hannah finally finished it. The book was complete. Now she just needed to have Christian, Deborah, Mamm, and Bishop Hostettler read it over. And then of course she needed to proofread it again and probably make a bunch of changes. How long would it be before she could hold the book in her hand?
She set her notebook down and removed her journal from the bureau. She hoped Julia would like it here. When she and Christian settled in for the night, they’d discussed their new guest. The girl had barely said a few words at suppertime. She hoped she was just tired from the trip and not afraid of them.
Hannah wanted Julia to feel as though she were one of the family. Perhaps she could be a mentor to the girl since it seemed they might have a lot in common. Of course, Hannah didn’t really know all that much about Julia except that she was a young Amish girl carrying an Englisch man’s child. Hopefully, they’d get to know each other better as time went on.
One thing was for sure: she had no stones to throw. But just because she’d had to learn some things the hard way didn’t mean she couldn’t give advice. The counselor at the retreat had encouraged each of them to use their personal tragedy for God’s glory, and Hannah aimed to do just that.
Der Herr had even given her a parable. It had come to mind when she and Christian had been walking on a private trail near their cabin at the retreat. The walking trail was absolutely gorgeous with wild herbs and plants of all kinds. Hannah had even recognized some of the herbs as medicinal. She knew several of them were used by Danika Yoder to heal certain ailments or to provide nutrition. And some of the flowers and plants on the trail she’d seen in vases at the grocery store.
But nearby they’d seen a large metal lid that had the word ‘sewer’ stamped on it and a foul smell emanated from the ground. It was then she realized that the reason the trail was lush and healthy was because the sewer was nearby. It amazed her how something so lovely could come from something so offensive.
Isn’t that the way God works? She’d thought. He takes the things in our lives that are ugly, disgusting, and downright wicked, and transforms them into something magnificent. Just as the herbs can be used to nourish and heal after they’ve been fertilized, so can we find healing through God’s mercy.
The whole picture reminded her of the quilt Mamm had given her and Christian as a wedding gift. Mamm had lovingly used the scraps of clothing from her and Christian’s childhood outfits and transformed them into something beautiful. But she realized that Mamm had left out the torn, soiled, and stained pieces.
But Der Herr uses all of our circumstances – even the stained ones. He cleanses them with His precious blood, and makes them not only usable, but lovely as well.
Hannah hoped she could share these wonderful truths with Julia, and perhaps bring healing in her life as well.
Julia opened the door to her room and realized it was already light outside. Oh no. I hope they don’t think I’m slothful. She hadn’t fallen asleep until late and the little rest she did acquire had been fitful. Hurrying down the steps, she noticed Hannah putting the clean dishes away in the cupboard.
“I can help with that,” Julia offered.
Hannah turned around with a smile. “Oh gut, you are up. No, I don’t need any help just now, but I might take you up on that offer when I make bread later.” She reached up and placed the last glass on the shelf. “I bet you’re hungry.”
Julia rubbed her belly. “A little.”
“Gut because I made a lot more oatmeal this morning than Christian and I could eat. Would you like toast and a banana to go with it?”
“Jah, just one slice, though. I can make it if you want me to.”
Hannah handed Julia a banana. “Nee. I ‘spect you probably didn’t sleep too gut. You look tired.”
“I didn’t. Guess it’s just too much excitement.” She wiped the corner of her eye.
“So, how long do you have? For the boppli, I mean.”
Julia peeled the banana. “About four more months. Mamm and Dat wanted me to stay home as long as possible, so folks don’t ask questions. But I’m startin’ to show a bit now, and my dress doesn’t hide it anymore.”
Hannah turned from the stove and nodded. She set the bowl of oatmeal and toast on the table in front of Julia and removed butter and jam from the refrigerator.
Julia’s eyes stared into her bowl of oatmeal. “I know what you must think. That I’m not a very gut girl.”
“Ach, nee. I don’t think that at all. Julia, we all make mistakes. I’ve made plenty,” Hannah insisted.
Yeah right. Like what? You burnt your husband’s toast one day? Julia didn’t speak her thoughts, but instead bit into her banana.
“I did love Leighton, the baby’s father,” she blabbed. “He was Englisch. He said he didn’t want the baby, so here I am.” She took the knife and buttered her toast. “I guess I should have listened about all those warnings about the Englisch. I know we’re not supposed to be unequally yoked.”
Hannah shrugged. “The Englisch aren’t so bad, most of them. They just live differently than we do. It’s important to have a husband that lives and believes the same way you do. Otherwise, you’re asking for problems.”
Julia laughed. “Do I know that now! If I had any idea that Leigh
ton would just leave me like that, I never would have gone out with him. Why do boys act all sweet and caring one minute and then just dump you the next? I don’t get it.”
“How did you meet him?” Hannah changed the subject.
“Ach, my friend Nellie and I were at the ice cream shop one day. It was crowded and there were no empty seats when Leighton and his Englisch friend walked in. They noticed two empty chairs at our table and asked if they could sit down. We didn’t want to be rude, so we let them. We talked for about an hour after finishing our ice cream. I really liked Leighton a lot.” Julia smiled and her blue eyes sparkled. “He was handsome and funny and he just seemed really sweet. When he asked if he could see me again, I said yes.”
“How long have you known him?” Hannah asked.
“I met him about a year ago. I was still fourteen then, but I think he thought I was older. When my birthday rolled around and he realized I was turning fifteen, he seemed surprised. But I guess he figured three and a half years isn’t that big of a difference.” She took a bite of her toast and Hannah waited for her to continue. “As soon as he found out about the boppli that was pretty much it.” She frowned. “Of course, my folks had no idea about Leighton.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I couldn’t imagine expectin’ a boppli being so young.” She’d remembered how frightened she’d been at eighteen.
“Well, I don’t have to imagine it. This little one doesn’t let me forget.” Julia rubbed her belly.
“Jah, I guess they do at that age. None of ours lived that long.” Hannah frowned.
“How many did ya have?”
“Four.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.” Julia shook her head.
“Jah, ‘twas. Very hard.” Hannah wiped away a tear.