Read An Unforgivable Secret (Amish Secrets - Book 1) Page 7

  Chapter 4

  Christian entered the Schrock’s barn wondering why Hannah hadn’t come with him tonight. He’d waited at the usual spot, but after about fifteen minutes he’d given up and come alone. He’d been tempted to go up to the house and find out what the problem was but decided against it, given the hour. He hoped she wasn’t sick or anything.

  Although it had been difficult, he had finally broken things off with Kristine. When she asked him why, he simply told her that he was Amish and planned to remain that way. That was enough to scare her off. What Englisch woman would want to give up her carefree lifestyle for a rigid Amish one? None that he’d ever heard of. Of course, there was Brianna Beiler who had sort of become Amish by accident, but that was a different story. Due to a unique, somewhat rare form of amnesia, she had forgotten her previous Englisch life and thought she was Amish. But she hadn’t known that she was ever Englisch in the first place.

  Christian now pondered his future. It felt good to be free of Kristine, like a weight had been lifted. His heart was no longer divided now. He could give all his devotion to Hannah and get excited as they planned their wedding together. Just a few months and she’d be his completely, and boy, was he looking forward to it. Hannah would be the perfect wife.

  As he and Samuel sat around talking and indulging in snacks, more young people began arriving. He informed Samuel that he’d broken up with the Englisch girl, and to that he just nodded. He knew Samuel had never approved of him seeing two girls at once, especially when one of them was their good friend. Samuel and Hannah had been the best friends he’d ever had, so he understood Samuel’s concern.

  Christian pulled out his pocket watch. Apparently, they’d come a little earlier than normal. He usually took his time when driving with Hannah, wanting to spend as many extra moments with her as possible. He caught sight of Hannah’s buggy through the open barn door and his heart skipped a beat. She was so beautiful, like a pure white lily. He couldn’t wait for the drive home tonight. But why had Hannah brought her own buggy? Perhaps her sister Deborah needed to use it to get home.

  I don’t know if I can do this, Hannah thought as she neared the barn. She did not want to break down in tears in front of everybody; she’d already done that enough at home today. She had a mind to turn around and head back to the buggy and began to do so when Deborah grasped her arm.

  “Nee, Hannah. You have to do this. Christian needs to be confronted,” Deborah insisted.

  Hannah knew she was right, but it didn’t make the task any easier. With dwindling confidence, she made a beeline for the snack table, hoping the distraction would calm her frayed nerves. She didn’t dare look in Christian’s direction although she knew he and Samuel would be in their usual spot, probably cutting up as they always did. How could Christian carry on a double life? She’d always thought he’d been sincere in his affections toward her. But she was obviously wrong.

  “Hannah,” Christian’s familiar voice echoed behind her. She knew if she turned around they would be face to face, so she kept her back to him. “Where were you? Why didn’t you ride with me tonight?”

  It took every fiber in Hannah’s being not to erupt into a conniption. She grimaced and clenched her fists tightly. “I thought you’d be with your Englisch aldi,” she replied as calmly as her voice would allow.

  Christian’s eyes widened. “Ha – Hannah, I…” Resigned, Christian sighed. “Let’s go outside and talk.”

  Silently, but still not looking in Christian’s direction, Hannah walked outside. As she and Christian neared the Schrock’s white pasture fence, Christian took her arm and stopped her. Hannah hastily pulled her arm away. Just the thought of him touching her after seeing him holding hands with the Englisch girl disgusted her.

  “Hannah…I – I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how you found out, but you must believe me when I say that I’m not seeing Kristine anymore,” Christian said, wishing she’d face him.

  Kristine. It was a name she would now hate for as long as she lived. She wished Christian hadn’t said the name because, before a few seconds ago, she actually liked it. Not anymore. Now the name would forever be synonymous with harlot, thief, and destroyer of dreams. She knew that she was being partially irrational. In fact, the pretty Englisch girl probably had no idea Christian was two-timing her. She was probably just as innocent in the whole matter as Hannah was. Nevertheless, Hannah’s mind wasn’t thinking rationally at this moment. She was running on her emotions, which could be a dangerous thing.

  Christian tentatively placed his hand on her shoulder. “Say something, Hannah.”

  She shrugged his hand off. “You’re right, Christian. I don’t believe you. The Amish man dressed in Englisch clothes at the restaurant last night certainly didn’t act like he was about to break up with his girlfriend.”

  “But I did,” he insisted.

  Hannah spun around and looked him squarely in the eye. “You know what? I don’t care, Christian. You’ve shown me that you are not faithful and I can’t trust you.” She determined not to let him see her cry.

  “Hannah, you must know that I love you.”

  Of all the nerve! “What? You’ve got to be joking. If that’s love, you can keep it for yourself. Or give it to your Englischer. I don’t want any part of it.”

  “Hannah…” Christian hung his head. He realized he’d blown it. “Will you please just give me another chance? I want to marry you.”

  Exasperated, Hannah's shaky voice replied, “You want to marry me? How can you even talk of marriage now?” The tears fell from her eyes, and she was unable to stop them.

  Christian attempted to pull her close, but she pushed him away. “Don’t touch me!” she said.

  “I’m sorry, Hannah.”

  “Sorry isn’t enough.” With that, Hannah stomped off toward the barn where voices were now lifted in song. There was no way her heart could sing now. She’d tell Deborah she was leaving, and then she would go. Hopefully, Deb didn’t mind taking the buggy because Hannah needed to walk off the negative energy she emanated.

  Christian gave up on reasoning with Hannah and decided to go home. He needed to come up with a plan on how he could get Hannah back. This evening definitely didn’t turn out how he’d hoped.