Chapter 9
Jessica had a soft spot in her heart for Grandma Garland and she was excited about getting to live with her at the lakefront property along Old Hickory Lake. Grandpa Garland had died a few years earlier and Jessica felt sorry for her grandmother having to live alone.
The lakefront property was a stark contrast to the hospital. It had always been a welcome relief to visit Grandma Garland there and with just the two of them the three bedroom house seemed spacious.
They were sitting at the dining room table, eating dinner, when Grandma Garland said, “We'll have to get you registered at the local high school on Monday.”
Jessica didn't like the idea of starting classes at a new school near the end of the spring quarter, but she was too grateful to make a fuss about it. “Okay.”
“Your mother said you have a boyfriend now.”
“Yes, I do.”
“What's his name?”
“Jason. Can he come here to visit me on the weekends?”
“Of course he can.”
“Thanks.”
“Where does he live?”
“In Madison.”
“That should be convenient for the two of you.”
“I know. Please don't tell my parents about him coming here.”
“Why not?”
“Gary doesn't want me dating any boys until I turn sixteen.”
Grandma Garland grimaced and said, “I don't think that's his place to restrict you from boys your own age.”
Jessica felt extreme love toward her grandmother for saying that. “I don't think it's any of his business either.”
“I think your mother made a mistake marrying that man.”
“So do I. I hate him.”
“I hate him too for what he did to you.”
Jessica recognized the heartfelt concern in her grandmother's features. She loved her grandmother so much for believing her over her stepfather.
Grandma Garland added, “Heaven knows why your mother would accept the word of a man like that over yours.”
Jessica felt a need to cleanse herself of what had happened at the hospital. “I tried to have him arrested, but they sent me to that hospital. And then...” Suddenly the rift sprang up over Jessica's brain, causing her body to convulse. “...then...” The rift enveloped her with pressurized force, pouring out from her brain across her entire body. Before she knew it, she'd fallen out of the chair onto the floor in a full body seizure.
Grandma Garland bent over her, put a napkin into her mouth, and called for an ambulance.
After the seizure had ended, the rift in Jessica's brain felt torn, pulsating with blood that caused her entire body to shake beneath the stress caused by the attack. Grandma Garland helped her to her feet and led her to the couch in the living room, where Jessica lay down and closed her eyes to rest. By the time the ambulance arrived, Jessica was skittish about going with them.
“I don't want to go back to the hospital,” protested Jessica.
“I won't let them take you back to that place,” said Grandma Garland.
“If you're feeling better now, then there's no need for an ambulance,” said one of the paramedics. “Your grandmother can take you to the hospital.”
“Thanks for the information,” replied Grandma Garland, who showed the paramedics out the front door.
When Grandma Garland returned to the living room, she said, “There's no hurry about the doctor right now. You can go when you feel like it.”
“How about we see a doctor on Monday instead of signing up for classes.”
“Sure.”
The next night Jessica called Jason.
“How are you?” asked Jason.
“I'm scared,” replied Jessica.
“Why?”
“I had a seizure yesterday and I'm afraid of getting another one.”
“That's terrible. Have you seen a doctor about it?”
“I'm seeing one on Monday.”
“What was it like?”
“It was like something in my brain took control over my entire body. It was terrifying to lose control like that.”
“I bet. I hate thinking you suffered something like that.”
“I'm feeling better now. I'm just afraid it might happen again.”
“I would really like to see you again.”
“I know.”
“Could we go to a movie or something next weekend?”
“Sure.”
Jessica felt a lot better after she'd spoken to Jason about it. She was looking forward to seeing him a lot during the summer.
No full body seizures occurred before her appointment with the doctor, but she began suffering head twitches. The initial twitches caused her to cry and her grandmother hugged her and told her everything was going to be all right. Jessica hated thinking she might have to live with a disorder like Tourette's syndrome. On Monday the neurologist wrote referrals for an X-ray and an EEG scan.
After the tests had been given she returned to the neurologist's office. He looked at her frankly and said, “My advice to you is to continue taking the medications you're currently taking.”
The doctor's advice flustered Jessica. “But I had a seizure and I'm suffering spasms now. Isn't there some kind of medication to treat it?”
“The tests turned out normal. That means this is a psychiatric issue and a psychiatrist is best equipped to deal with this.”
By the time Jessica got in the car with her grandmother, Jessica was sobbing. The devastating realization of her helplessness overwhelmed her psyche with a painful void. As soon as she got home she collapsed into her bed and slept.
The ringing of her cell phone awakened her. She picked it up and said, “Hello. This is Jessica.”
“Hi,” replied Jason. “I was wondering how the doctor's appointment went.”
“He says the tests turned out normal.”
“That doesn't make sense.”
“I know, but he's unwilling to help me”
“You should get a second opinion or something.”
“Maybe I will. I was very upset when he dismissed it as a psychiatric disorder.”
“I would be too. Seizures are a physiological disorder, not a behavioral disorder.”
“I'm still kind of tired. I should be getting back to bed.”
“I hope you feel better.”
“Thanks for calling.”
“Any time. See you soon.”
“Bye.”
Jessica hung up the phone, feeling comforted. Hearing his voice made her feel so much better. Laying on her bed, she took refuge from the void with thoughts of Jason and the time they would be spending together. Within moments she was sleeping again.
On Monday of the next week, Jesscia went to the high school to register for classes, feeling trepidacious about going to a public school with head twitches. The way some of the boys looked at her made her feel better about it. Two boys and a girl said hello to her on the way to the office. It made her think that it couldn't be that much different from the way things had been before she had gone to the hospital.
Wednesday morning, a plain and heavy set girl named Molly met with Jessica a half hour before her first period class. “I'm the girl assigned to show you around the school,” said Molly.
“Thanks for helping me out,” said Jessica.
Molly showed Jessica the general outlay of things so that Jessica would know how to get to class and then, just as the other students began showing up, Molly said, “Don't hesitate to come to me if you have anything you want to talk about. I like helping people.”
“I'll keep that in mind.”
The other people at the school seemed friendly enough. One of the boys, who had said hello to her the day before, approached her at her locker. He was a gorgeous and athletic senior dressed in jeans and a tank top, which revealed large, rock hard biceps. “Hello,” he said. “I'm Bret.” He held out his hand.
Jessica shook his hand and said, “I'm Jessica.”
“Anything you want to know about this place, feel free to ask.”
A minor head twitch caused Jessica to blush with embarrassment, but Bret pretended not to notice it. Jessica said, “I'll keep that in mind.”
“Where are you from?”
“I moved up here from Nashville.”
“I like Nashville. There's a lot to do there, but Hendersonville is a better place to live.”
“I know.” Jessica held the supplies for her next class and said, “Nice meeting you. I've gotta get to class.”
Bret took out a pen and a small pad of paper and said, “Just a moment, please.” He began writing on the piece of paper.
Jessica waited for a moment to be polite. Receiving phone numbers from boys was nothing new to her.
Bret handed her the piece of paper and said, “Here's my number. Feel free to call me any time you feel like talking to someone.”
Another head spasm occurred when he said feel free and Jessica was eager to get to class, but she didn't want to be rude. She took the number and hurried off.
Bret said, “Hope you enjoy it here.”
“Thanks.”
At lunch Jessica looked for Molly in the cafeteria, when she heard a girl call out, “Jessica. Over here.”
The voice was unfamiliar, but Jessica turned toward a nearby table and saw an attractive Native American girl sitting with some other attractive girls. The Native American girl waved to her and said, “Yeah, you. Do you want to sit with us?”
A slight head twitch caused Jessica to blush and she sensed other people's eyes on her. “Sure,” replied Jessica. She took a seat next to the Native American girl.
“I'm Anna.”
“Nice to meet you Anna.”
“What do you think of the school so far?”
“It's all right.”
“Did Bret give you his phone number?”
“Yes, he did.”
“He's so gorgeous and he doesn't have a steady girlfriend right now. What do you think of him?”
“I just met him.”
“Would you be interested in going out with him?”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“Where does he go to school?”
“In Madison.”
“Do you miss him?”
“Yeah, but I speak to him on the phone every night and he's going to come up here on the weekends. Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Yes. He's looking forward to Bret graduating.”
“Why's that?”
“Bret placed second at state in his weight class.”
“Your boyfriend is a wrestler?”
“He's going to be a junior next year and he's looking forward to a varsity spot. Do you play any sports?”
“No. Do you?”
“I play volleyball.”
Anna and the other girls were friendly and informative. However Jessica felt uneasy about the way people were looking at her.
The next day went similarly, but on Friday morning things began to change. She thought she might have heard a girl say the word, crazy, as she was walking toward her locker before her second period class.
Then a tall boy in a letterman's jacket approached her while she was at her locker and he said, “What are you doing tonight?”
“I'm meeting a friend of mine.”
“There's going to be a party at my house if you want to bring your friend.”
“I'll keep that in mind.”
“Are you doing anything tomorrow?”
“Yes. I'm busy tomorrow too.”
Bret stopped nearby and said, “Don't mind her. She's just a spaz.”
The word bit into Jessica's brain like a knife.
“Oh, she likes it like that?” remarked the other boy.
The second remark disgusted Jessica and she slammed her locker door shut.
“Jessica's spending time with herself this weekend,” joked a girl from nearby.
Jessica rushed off to her next class, amid strange looks and caustic comments. When she reached the classroom, the tears ceased forming and she sat down to listen to the lecture.
By lunch time, her brain was racing with agitation and stress. Walking toward an empty table with her lunch tray, she heard Anna say, “Too bad the school doesn't have a badminton team.”
“I had no idea she was a loon,” said another girl.
Jessica sat at an empty table as far away from the other students as possible, but she could still hear them. Turning her back to them, so they couldn't see her tears, she began eating her lunch.
Molly approached the other side of the lunch table and she asked, “Can I sit here?”
“Sure.”
“Is everything all right?”
Jessica's voice cracked as she said, “People are being mean to me.”
“They're just mean people. Don't let them get to you.”
“I don't know if I can go to school here.”
“If it's that bad, you should go to the principal's office. That's what he's there for.”
“Then they'll hate me even more.”
“You don't have to be liked by everyone. I'll always be around to talk to.”
“Thanks.”
“I'm getting together with some of my friends after school to go to a movie. You're welcome to come along.”
“A friend from my old school is coming over tonight. Maybe another time.”
“Would you like to meet some of my other friends after last period? It won't take very long and I'll give you a ride home.”
“That sounds fun.”
“Great. I don't want you thinking the entire school is like that. There are nice people here too.”
The conversation with Molly made Jessica feel better. So did meeting Molly's other friends, who said they had talked to the principal about the harassment. The atmosphere at the school was already beginning to calm down after her last class. Although there were questioning and accusatory looks from some of the students, she didn't hear a single crude comment from anyone.
Later that day, Cindy came over and the two girls went into Jessica's room to talk.
“I'm so glad I have a chance to talk to you alone,” said Cindy.
“Me too.”
“I couldn't talk about it over the phone. The pigs threatened me with a gag order.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to tell people about what your step father did.”
Jessica felt a sharp pang from the rift and she stifled a yelp.
Cindy gave her a pitying look and said, “I'm sorry for mentioning it.”
“There's no need to apologize. I'm just afraid.”
“You shouldn't have to be afraid. You did nothing wrong.”
“I know, but I am.”
“So what's your boyfriend like? Do you have a picture of him?”
“You'll meet him tomorrow. We're going to...” The rift swept over Jessica's brain, violently shaking Jessica so that she fell to the floor with the initial shock. Then she writhed on the floor with her brain in agonizing pain and her body in convulsions. The last thing she heard was Cindy crying out for help. Then everything went dark.