She chose me.
A lot of people would be creeped out by a realization like that. Call me sick but I kinda liked it. She’d seen something special in me and singled me out.
I got a hit the second night at the Princeton University East Asian Library (less than three blocks from Oracle.) The reference librarian thought she was a grad student or worked in one of the research labs in some capacity and said she was a regular. I also discovered that the “librarian look” wasn’t her current style. The librarian described her wearing jeans and casual blouses. He also said he didn’t remember her eyes being green. After that, I staked out the library every night until closing and then drove around or walked the streets.
I spotted her on the fourth or fifth night—I can’t remember which because I wasn’t sleeping well by then. I almost missed her in her baseball cap, workout shorts and Einstein tee shirt. It took me a few moments to be sure it was her but there was something about the subtle way she searched her surroundings as she went. She wasn’t furtive but she was watchful in a way that struck me as experienced. I figured the guy in the library must have told her about my interest in her. I couldn’t imagine her being this worried about me, so I decided that she was either paranoid by nature, or this was a woman in hiding from somebody. She crossed the street and power-walked toward one of the larger campus buildings.
I followed, keeping a distance and doing my best to move near trees or objects big enough to obscure me when she stopped and glanced around. I’d never gone to Princeton but I’d become familiar enough with the area to know that the hall she headed for wasn’t a lab or research building. I gambled and decided that she was gonna move toward one of the building’s other exits. As soon as she went in, I ran around to the opposite corner, finding a spot which gave me a view of both of the building’s other doors.
I still almost missed her.
She’d opted to travel straight through the building and exit opposite where she’d entered. Only now there was no baseball cap, her hair was down and the glasses were gone. In the light of the doorway, I also noticed that her eyes were brown and not the brilliant green I remembered. She came out at the tail of a small group of chatting friends, doing her best to look like she was with them.
After we got away from the building, she veered away from her group and I followed her meandering route back to a one story colonial on a cul-de-sac. Small as it was, there’s no such thing as cheap housing in Princeton, so she obviously had money. I waited while she unlocked her door and disappeared inside, watching for another ten or fifteen minutes just to be sure this wasn’t another feint. Then I went back to my car, drove home and slept for about twelve hours.
* * * * *
The next afternoon, I ate lunch, shaved, put on a dress shirt and trousers and headed up to Princeton. The sun still hadn’t set by the time I got there, so to kill time and help ease my nervousness, I stopped for an early dinner. Finally, when it was dark and I couldn’t wait any more, I drove to her house and rang the doorbell.
No answer.
I knocked and waited, hearing nothing from inside. The windows were all curtained and impossible to see through. I found it hard to imagine she’d packed up and moved in less than a day, though that was one of the fears that resurfaced in my mind every few minutes. I sat down on her front steps and waited.
I was there about an hour before I heard the door open.
She wore jeans, a summer blouse and wasn’t wearing her glasses but she was exactly as I’d remembered. Her gorgeous green eyes were back (she used color contacts when she went out).
“You need to go home. Leave me alone,” she said.
Well, gee, who wouldn’t walk through fire for a reception like that?
She was already closing the door but I stuck my hand in the way—an incredibly dipshit move if she chose to just whack it with the door until I pulled back but I had to know if she’d do it. Instead, she stopped with a sigh and glared at me.
“I can’t go. Not … not until we talk.”
“Fine,” she said. “Hurry up and come inside.”
I stepped into a small foyer from which I could see a kitchen in back, a hallway that probably led to the bedroom and bathroom and a living room that looked like my high school library. I couldn’t see everything but there were full bookshelves and still more books piled on every horizontal surface that wasn’t already holding a computer. There were at least six computers on the huge corner desk, probably networked. One rolling chair at the desk. Later, when I was able to see more of the room, I spotted the bank of monitors for the hidden, night vision cameras that covered the entire exterior of the lot.
“Look, I’m sorry to have to come here like this,” I said as she closed the door and I got my bearings. She had no lights on, just the glow of the living room monitors. “But you don’t know what I’ve been going through since that night. I … it hurt waking up with nothing but that note…”
“What do you want, Avery?” Her anger was back but it was a bad disguise for the pain I could hear. My eyes were adjusting but I listened carefully to her inflections. She still hadn’t turned from the door. “I thought my note was pretty clear. Do you need to hear it in person? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if you thought there was more to that night than there was. I’m sorry you were hurt but I can’t give you any more than that. There is nothing more.”
It felt like being stabbed, hearing her say that but I did my best to hold on to my temper. I knew she wanted to turn this into an argument so I’d just get angry and leave but I couldn’t let myself fall into that trap. “No, there’s a hell of a lot more, at least as far as I’m concerned. I need to know what that night was really about, what was true and what wasn’t. I need to know who that woman I had such an incredible time with was … because I think I’m in love with her.”
She grabbed my arms and shoved me back against the wall—I couldn’t believe how strong her grip was and in the weird glow of the monitors from the living room, her features looked sharp and barely human. “Stop being ridiculous! You don’t know anything about me and you can’t, do you understand? The smartest thing you can do is forget about me—”
“Oh, don’t go all tragic loner on me! So you’re a vampire, big deal!”
That brought her up short and she flinched back. I knew now that by putting my cards on the table, I was literally risking my life.
“Yeah, I know you took some blood from me and you either drank it or you’re using it for some funky science project. I knew that before I started looking for you and here I am.” She let go of me and moved away. I held out my arm. “You want more? Go ahead, take it! Isn’t it easier to have a willing donor than going around seducing strange men in bookstores? It’s also pretty obvious that you’re in hiding from someone or something. Well, if they’re looking for you alone, wouldn’t it be harder to find you if you were with a guy? Not to mention I could probably help out in other ways…”
She was just looking at me and I couldn’t see her expression well enough to know how I was doing. I started pacing a little. “Dammit, don’t you understand? All I want is an honest chance. At this point in my life, you are the best thing that ever happened to me! You’re smart, beautiful, interesting, exciting, funny, warm—”
“Funny?”
“Well, okay, maybe more witty than funny. That’s okay. I’ll be the funny one.”
She laughed with a sniffle that told me I’d reached something in her. It was enough to calm me down a little. “All I’m saying is let me have a chance at a relationship with you, Kimberly, whatever that means. If it doesn’t work, I’ll go away quietly. Or maybe I’ll grow old rapidly like John Blaylock in The Hunger but you know, whatever.”
Neither of us said anything for a few moments. Then she sighed, long and deep and leaned back against the wall. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Oh God, Avery … you sweet, impossible, stupid … wonderful boy…”
I walked over to where she stood and leaned down and kissed u
p the tears from the heat of her skin. I moved my mouth to hers and kissed her lips. They opened for me and I tasted the copper tang of fresh blood in her mouth and pressed harder, penetrating more enthusiastically with my tongue…
Before the kiss could lead to penetration of a different sort, she eased me down and rested her head on my shoulder. “Caroline,” she said.
“What?”
“My name. It’s Caroline.”
“Oh. Nice to meet you, Caroline.”
She laughed and kissed behind my ear. We held each other for another few minutes and then she led me back into her kitchen for the first in a series of very long conversations that began our merry adventure together.
PART TWO
The fact that we choose to refer to our peculiar form of reproduction as “Creation” speaks volumes about the God-like power we see within ourselves as well as the low opinion of the human material from which we originate.
- Dr. Caroline Ludlow, The Order: History, Structure and Purpose.
From the Diary of Caroline Ludlow
Sept. 14, 1946
Tonight Sebastian has asked me to join him. Though not wholly unexpected, I am still in a whirlwind of emotions. The implications of his proposal are staggering. To be his bride forever, truly forever, as a Vampyr.
He has promised me that if I decline his offer, nothing would happen to me. I’d be free to leave and live as before but he has revealed to me the existence of The Order and its control of mankind. Can I just go on working a “normal” government job in a government that is merely a puppet?
Stop beating around the bush, Caroline! Sebastian is the most fascinating, romantic and charismatic man I have ever met. I LOVE HIM!!!
How could I settle for an ordinary life or marriage to an ordinary man who’s ignorant of the true nature of the world around him? The truth is, I can’t. Sebastian has already changed me forever.
What should I do?? If I accept his offer, Sebastian will make me a Vampyr, an immortal being who must drink human blood to survive and sleep during the day to avoid sunlight. Eternal youth and immortality, at a price. Living off blood isn’t evil, is it? So many species do. It’s not as if I would have to hunt and kill every night, not with the blood banks set up nationwide and the companies that exist to serve The Order. Even if I had to hunt, I only need a pint each from several people a night, not enough to harm anyone. No one need die to sustain me.
I’m rationalizing. Yes, there are drawbacks. Yes, it’s not a perfect situation but if I understand it going in, the harm can be minimized. I have the ability to understand a society I never suspected existed. I also have the opportunity to influence that powerful society toward doing less harm to the people it controls. Perhaps a synthetic blood substitute can be created, something with all the nutrients Vampyrs need to live on. Surely Sebastian and the others could see the advantage.
In the end, I suppose it comes right back to love. I don’t want to live without Sebastian. I can’t. I don’t want to be alone anymore. There is no one like Sebastian. Every moment with him has been stimulating, exciting and romantic. Think of what he’s offering. Not just a good marriage but the opportunity to truly make the world a better place! Meet the brightest people, travel the world and see every new discovery make its impact. Promote science and medicine to help rid the world of disease, poverty and hunger. Help Sebastian and his allies understand their enemies better, to minimize the damage they can do to both mankind and each other. Maybe we can stop future wars, or at least, lessen the horrors they inflict on the innocent. I can make a real difference! Not to mention being alive for the next centuries and seeing the marvels that will exist. Not just see them but touch them, live with them! Isn’t that reason enough to accept Sebastian’s offer?
October, 2007
Caroline told me that Sebastian had finally found us, and we had to leave. We wiped down our place in Princeton as soon as the sun set that evening, loaded our few essentials into my hatchback and headed down to Trenton so Caroline could meet up with this hacker guy she’d met online. She wanted to give him some insurance for safe keeping.
I grew up in Trenton, so I know the area well. The hacker lived on South Clinton, one of the residential streets that parallels Broad Street near the Whitehorse Circle. I remember it was a small, white duplex.
“All right, I’ll just be a minute,” Caroline said, grabbing her folder off the floor as I pulled to the curb. “Keep the engine running but shut the lights off. Oh and turn off the radio, scootch down in the seat a little in case—”
I reached over and brushed the back of her hand—she jumped like she’d forgotten I was there. Her head snapping over to look at me. I remember being reminded of my old girlfriend, Michelle, whose previous boyfriend used to beat her. Michelle jumped like that when I touched her too. This nervous, skittish Caroline wasn’t somebody I was familiar with. It scared me and pissed me off at the same time. Caroline was the rational one, the strong voice of reason who took the lead and always knew the best way to go about something.
“Hey, relax,” I told her as gently as I could and moved my fingers up to stroke the fine, downy hair at her temples.
She gave a half-hearted nod, so I leaned over and kissed her. I wanted that kiss to be solid, reassuring and passionate; a kiss that would make her melt into my arms and forget our situation for a few blissful moments. Instead, she gave me one of those closed-lip pecks and pulled away.
I shut off the headlights but kept the music on since I was only halfway through “Vampire Love.” I watched Caroline climb the steps to the second floor and knock. She glanced around the whole time. After a few seconds, somebody opened the door and she went inside. I sat back and gazed around at the other houses and occasional passing car, singing along under my breath.
A cop car crossed the intersection in front of me just as the song ended. As well as losing all body fat and gaining a significant increase in strength as a Vampyr, my senses had become more acute. So, I’m not sure if the cop crawled across the intersection or if I only perceived it that way. He was, however, looking around for something.
I’d parked behind another car, far enough back that I could still pull out but it blocked most of his view of me. Now I was nervous, wishing Caroline would hurry up.
After another few impatient minutes, she came out. Even if there was a description of her out, we’d taken precautions. She wore loose-fitting sweats rather than her normal jeans and blouse, her blonde hair was down rather than back in her usual ponytail and she was wearing her fake glasses. I wore blue jeans, a red flannel shirt and a jean-jacket Caroline picked up at the Salvation Army. I looked like a complete tool.
“Hurry,” she said as she climbed in.
I nodded, turned the lights back on and pulled away from the curb.
“Off they drove into the darkness of the night,” I began, trying to get a smile from her. “Two young lovers on a desperate odyssey—”
“Cut it out. Please.”
“Sorry.”
I’d almost made it to Whitehorse Avenue where the street ended when I caught something in my rearview mirror.
The same damn cop I’d seen a few minutes ago.
He was driving down another cross street but turned as soon as he spotted us and started closing the distance. I sped up and took the right onto Whitehorse against the light. I raced up a block and made a sharp left onto a small side street that could take us to Broad Street. Cutting my lights, I tore down the single lane, hoping to get out of sight before the cop turned onto Whitehorse.
I saw headlights pass in my mirror but couldn’t tell if it was the cop or not. The street dead-ended at a high school and—even with my improved night vision—it was very dark without the headlights. The parked cars on either side made for a wonderful obstacle course. I just prayed no pedestrians were out.
I came to the cross street and took the turn before putting my lights back on. In the few seconds it took us to reach Broad Street, my mind filled with project
ions of the cop sitting there, having anticipated my move, patiently waiting for us to emerge…
He wasn’t. I guess he figured I’d made the right into the parking lot of the Chinese buffet on the corner and cut out onto Broad that way.
Or, as Caroline suggested later, maybe he wasn’t trying to catch us at all.
I decided to take I-195 to the Turnpike. From the Turnpike, we could get to anywhere we needed. If they were looking for my car it would be better to be one among many on a road with no stop lights.
Once it seemed that our moment of desperate pursuit was over, the whole business took on the feel of an intense role-playing scenario. I also have to admit, it made me feel good to have Caroline depending on me for once.
It made me feel like I finally deserved her.
I tried to get a conversation going as we drove, mentioning people I knew in New York and Philly who might be able to help or give us a place to crash for the day, asking whether we should continue with our original plan.
After a few, long silent minutes Caroline said, “Go to Newark first. We’ve got to assume your car’s been linked to me somehow. We’ll drop it off in long term parking or maybe just leave it on the street with the keys in it and rent something different.” She wasn’t even looking at me. She was staring out the window at the sky.
“Whoa, back up a second. You want to let my car get stolen just because some cop spooked us a little? He might not have even been looking for us. Probably just chased us ‘cause I bolted—”
“No. The fact that we even saw that cop was either a very lucky accident or a deliberate prod to get us moving in the right direction. They won’t use cops to capture us, Avery. That would involve too many questions. If Ash and his people are out there, we won’t know it until we’re trapped.”
I just kept driving, doing my best to stay in the center lanes.
“Avery, it’s only a car,” she said after another second. “We can replace it once we get—”