Matt was fast asleep when I went back to bed. He probably wouldn't even remember that we'd had sex when he woke up in the morning.
I lay there looking at him in the moonlight for a while. He was really handsome. He'd always made a real effort to have a good body, with his cycling and the gym he used almost every day. Sometimes he went swimming, too. A surfer as well - whenever he got the chance to go away, he'd go. And I'd use that time to write. We gave each other freedom, and that was important to both of us. He let out a sudden snort and turned his head, giving me a better profile view of his classic features. His nose was a little long, but it fit perfectly with the rest of his face. He had the deepest of blue eyes, not that I could see them. In fact, it was his eyes that had drawn me to him, all those years earlier. That and his dark red hair. His colour was unique and so was he. That's what I'd thought at the time. We'd fallen in love almost instantly and were living together within four months.
I sighed and turned away, curling up into a ball. Where and when had it gone wrong? Was it Adam? Had I ruined it? A tear rolled down my cheek. Had I done this to us? Was I really to blame?
oOo
'Morning,' I said, as I stood checking the week's post as Matt walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and yawning. I handed him a large cup of black coffee without him even having to ask for it. I just knew he needed it.
He took it and looked at me gratefully as he took a long drink. Sighing, he sat down at the breakfast bar.
'How are you feeling?' I asked.
He raised his eyebrows.
'You were quite drunk, last night.'
He nodded. 'Yes, I think I must've been,' he said, rubbing his temples. 'I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow,' he muttered.
I didn't say anything about the rough sex. There wasn't any point. 'You danced a lot.' I smiled, remembering how happy he’d seemed.
'Did I?' He thought for a moment. 'Oh yeah, I suppose I did. It was a good night. Maybe we should throw a party soon, too.'
'A party? Whatever for?'
He shrugged. 'Just for the fun of it.'
'Maybe at Christmas,' I suggested.
'That's not exactly soon, though, is it?'
'A few months. It's enough.'
He shrugged. 'They've got a great house, haven't they?'
'Hm? Yes, they do. Beautiful.'
'Especially the master suite. I did like that.'
I burst out laughing, expecting him to laugh with me, but he just looked at me quizzically.
'What are you laughing at?'
'I thought you were being sarcastic.'
He slowly shook his head. 'No. I quite liked it.'
'Oh, Matt, it's hideous. That woman has no clue when it comes to interior decorating.'
'I just think it has... plenty of personality.'
'Yes, you could definitely say that,' I said, shaking my head. When had we become so different? We used to have the same style, the same ideas when it came to how to decorate our rooms. And now? Well, I'd much rather have Amy's assistance than Charlie's.
'I prefer the rest of their house, myself.'
Matt nodded, standing up to go and make himself a slice of toast. 'It's lacking a little something, if you ask me.'
'Really? You know it was Adam's daughter that did the rest?'
'I had no idea. I didn't even know he had a daughter.'
I nodded. 'Yes, Amy is at university in Bournemouth, studying to become an interior designer. He has a son, too; Jack.'
Matt barely acknowledged me while he stuffed his marmite-covered toast into his mouth, 'I'm going for a shower.'
'Okay. You going out after?'
'I think I made plans to do something. Can't quite put my finger on what, though. I'm sure a shower will help me remember.'
'Maybe. I just hope it's not anything particularly important.'
'No, probably not. Something I organised last night. It'll come to me soon enough.'
'Well, it's almost half past nine, so whatever it is, I hope it wasn't too early.'
He ignored me and walked up the stairs, and I returned my attention to the mail. Just bills, random leaflets and my magazine subscription. I tossed them onto the kitchen counter and went to the bottom of the stairs.
'I'm going to yoga,' I yelled. 'I'll see you later.'
'See you in a bit,' he shouted back before I heard the water come on in the shower.
oOo
'Oooh,' I groaned as I leaned forward, stretching my legs straight out in front of me. It was my least favourite yoga move, but it did wonders for my lower back. Spending so much time sitting at a desk at my computer meant my back often ached, but the yoga was helping tremendously. And I was thoroughly enjoying it. The group that attended were really good fun, and I'd frequently go for a cup of coffee with one or two of the ladies afterwards.
'And now the shoulder stand,' said Amelia, the yoga teacher, after we'd done a few other poses. I carefully threw my legs over my head until they were touching the floor. Breathing slowly for a few moments, I then lifted them upwards so that they were straight out above me. Amelia walked over and just pulled my legs up a little more. 'That's better, Eve. You weren't quite upright,' she said, walking over to the girl next to me.
After three minutes of being in the shoulder stand, we gently lowered our legs before we slowly sat up and continued with the other moves. Soon though, it was time for deep relaxation. A time to clear the mind and totally relax. I often found my mind drifting to whatever I was working on at the time, but lately, all I could think about was one thing. Or should I say one man.
CHAPTER FIVE
I always felt so good after my yoga workout, fully stretched, focussed and ready for the day. I always went to a class on Sunday, while the rest of the week I tried to do half an hour at home. Matt had tried it once with me but spent most of the time laughing because he kept farting. It was very distracting, so I was glad when he told me he didn't fancy doing it again. Thank God for that.
Climbing out of my little Fiat 500, I shut the door and walked into the house to be met by nothing but silence.
'I'm back, Matt. Are you home?' I listened for a moment, but nothing.
Dropping my handbag and yoga mat at the foot of the stairs while I took off my jacket, I hung it up before heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water. On the table was a hastily written note:
I remembered! I'd arranged to go for a cycle with Charlie. Tried to get Adam to come but he wasn't keen – no surprise there. See you later x
I scrunched it up, dropped it into the recycling bin and stood gulping down a tall glass of water, before pouring a second. I let it slide down my throat, soothing my thirst, while I wondered what to do with my day. Opening the fridge, I decided I ought to go and get some groceries, otherwise Matt would complain about the lack of food later.
The supermarket was so crowded; it had been stupid to go on a Sunday morning. I should have done the shopping earlier in the week, I thought, as I waited in line for a parking spot, drumming my fingers on the dashboard to the sounds of Lady Antebellum's American Honey. A few months ago, this would have probably left me feeling impatient and stressed out, but yoga had certainly helped calm me down. I smiled at the thought. My yoga teacher, Amelia, was a woman in her sixties who looked twenty years younger, even though she was completely natural, with long silky white hair. She was a true beauty, in and out. The sort of person I'd like to become.
Not likely,said the angel on my shoulder.Not with you screwing up your marriage. Lusting after another woman's husband. I bet Amelia wouldn't do such a thing.
I sighed and finally turned into a parking space, narrowly missing a man who had rushed across right in front of me. Idiot. Breathe, Eve, breathe. Think of yoga. Don't think of betrayal and infidelity.
Betrayal. Infidelity. In some cultures, I'd be stoned to death. I shuddered. It was only once. Well, not counting the kiss last night. The kiss. I'd almost forgotten about it. How could I?
&n
bsp; Because you're trying to force it from your subconscious,said the devil again.Don't bother. You did it. You kissed him. He kissed you. What's wrong with that?
Everything,said the angel.You're a married woman, Eve. You don't need anyone else. You need to make it work with Matt. Maybe you should move house.
Move house? I almost crashed my trolley into a stressed young woman with three children.. I smiled apologetically and she returned the gesture.
Maybe Ishould think about moving house. Perhaps I'd bring it up with Matt later.
'Why do you want to move house?'
'Because I slept with the neighbour.'
Yeah, that would go down well, wouldn't it?
Totally distracted, I failed to notice that a young child to my right had been trying to pull a tin of beans out from the bottom of a pyramid of cans. Before I could realise what was happening, there was a loud crash and they all came falling down, some of them right on top of me. I dodged most of them but couldn't help some of them from crashing into my shin and foot.
I yelled and stumbled, just catching myself from falling to the ground over the tins, which were now scattered and rolling all over the supermarket floor.
Several employees came rushing over while the child sat crying in the corner. Fortunately he'd had the sense to get away before receiving any injuries. Mortified, his mother grabbed him and screamed at him. She'd clearly seen everything happen.
'Are you alright, madam?' said a helpful young man wearing the supermarket's logo on his apron.
'Yes, I think so,' I said, hobbling a little. 'Just a sore foot, I reckon. Don't worry, I'll be fine.'
'I'm so sorry,' said the child's mother. 'Are you sure you're okay?'
I nodded and smiled. 'It was an accident,' I said, glancing at the child, who looked up surprised. 'He didn't do it on purpose.'
'I won't do it again,' he said, tears pouring down his cheeks.
'Say sorry to the lady,' his mother urged.
The little boy tucked his face into his mother's shoulder and cried.
'Samuel, say sorry.'
He slowly turned his head back so he was looking at me. I waited patiently. 'I'm sorry,' he half whispered and half cried.
'You're forgiven,' I said, ruffling his hair.
'Thank you,' his mother said, as she walked back to her trolley and placed him in it before she turned back to me with a smile. She continued to the checkout, no doubt trying to get out as fast as possible.
'What happened here?' said the store manager who waddled into view. She was small and round, with a face that was both angry and sympathetic at the same time. 'I specifically requested that the cans not be stacked in such a way, and yet, continuously, my orders are not followed. And now look what's happened. Was anyone hurt?' she demanded of her staff, who were busy trying to collect the rolling cans.
'That lady over there.' The young man who had appeared first on the scene pointed at me.
She waddled over, looking very worried that I might sue or something. She glanced down at my legs and winced. 'Goodness me,' she sighed. 'You're bleeding. Please come with me so we can clean you up.'
'Oh, there's really no need. I'll be fine. I'll just carry on with my shopping. As I turned to walk away though, my foot seemed to give way and I winced in pain. 'Oh,' I cried. 'Perhaps it's worse than I thought.'
'Eve?' said a voice from the adjoining aisle.
Looking up I noticed Adam carrying an empty shopping basket, walking briskly towards me. 'Whatever happened to you?'
I laughed and winced at the same time. 'Just had a little accident with some baked beans.'
With raised eyebrows, he looked down at my leg. 'Ouch,' he said and turned to the store manager. 'Leave it to me,' he said and handed his basket to her before he bent down and picked me up as if I weighed nothing.
'Oh Adam, there's really no need. I'm fine,' I cried.
'Nonsense. Right, is there somewhere we can clean her up?'
The round woman nodded and suggested we follow her, where we walked through a door off limits to the general public and ended up in a large room with a few tables and chairs and a small sofa in the corner.
After she'd rallied round me and cleaned up my wound, putting a large plaster over it with a silly grin, she said, 'Now I'd usually be giving you a lollipop, but I think you've probably grown out of them.'
We all laughed as I shook my head. 'I don't know. Whoever grows out of sucking on a lollipop?'
She pretended to go and get one, and I shook my head. 'No, no, I was joking.'
When the laughter had subsided, Adam looked at me and leaned forward. 'Right, we should get you home.'
'No, I'm fine. I can walk, I'm sure. I need to finish my shopping first.'
'Well, I'm going to help you, then. Thank you for your help with my... friend here,' he said to the store manager, who smiled back.
'No problem. I'm just very sorry that it happened. I will be looking into who stacked the beans in such a stupid way, and they will be reprimanded.'
'Oh please don't. It's a mistake that anyone could have made. I'm really alright. There's no need.'
'Well, if you're sure?' she said.
'I am, honestly.'
'Okay then,' she smiled. 'Let me show you the way back to the store.'
Back in the main part of the supermarket, I hobbled, ungracefully leaning on Adam while we finished getting the remainder on my shopping list. He insisted that he do everything while I rested my leg, and once it was all paid for and packed in the boot of my Fiat, he turned and smiled at me.
'Well, the least I can do is buy you a cup of coffee,' I offered, looking towards the Starbucks just across the road in the retail park.
'That sounds like a plan,' he said. Before I had a chance to react, I was in his arms again. I laughed as he carefully waited for a couple of cars to pass before striding across the road and very gently putting me down in front of the large welcoming doors of my favourite coffee shop. A man with a newspaper was just standing up to leave as we entered, so we carefully made our way over to his table. Adam made sure I was comfortable before returning to make the order.
I sighed and looked out the window. What a morning. I spotted the woman with the young boy who'd caused quite a stir. She looked ever so stressed out, but she still smiled when she noticed me looking at her. She nodded and gave me the thumbs up. 'Still okay?' she mouthed.
I smiled and nodded, returning the thumbs up.
Grinning, she looked in her mirror and then pulled out of the parking space. She waved to me and was gone.
'Friend of yours?' asked Adam as he placed two large identical frothy coffees on the table.
'Ooh wonderful, thank you. Er, no, not really. It was her little boy who knocked the beans over.' I laughed.
'Oh,' he laughed. 'Little monster.'
'Quite. Actually, he was a little sweetie. All kids like to experiment, really, don't they?'
'Yes, they certainly do. My Jack was a little nightmare. His terrible twos lasted well into his threes and fours.' He chuckled. 'But he grew out of it, thankfully. Probably didn't help that his mother used to spoil him rotten. Did you never want children?'
'Yes, absolutely, but I had some serious issues and had to have a hysterectomy in my late twenties,' I said, stirring my coffee. It had taken a long time, but I'd finally come to terms with my lack of childbearing abilities.
'Jesus, Eve. I'm so sorry.'
'Thanks, but I'm okay about it now. I've accepted that Matt and I weren't meant to be parents. It was tough for a while, but we got through it.'
Adam nodded. 'I have lots of childless friends who are very happy. They had more money and time to devote to themselves, some of them have a lot more holidays than those of us with kids.'
'Yes, I can imagine,' I replied. 'We've had some fabulous holidays that we wouldn't have been able to afford if we'd had children.'
'Yes, you told us about Vegas and New York. Such a coincidence that we were there at the same time.'<
br />
'It's a small world,' I said, taking a sip of my ginger spice soy latte.
'Erm, you've got a bit of a...' he leaned over slightly and wiped my lip with his finger. '...a milk moustache.'
Blushing intensely, I sat back in my chair and laughed. His touch had zapped me again, and I needed a moment to try and calm down.
'You feel it too, don't you?' he whispered.
I looked up and nodded.
'Jesus, it's like an electrical jolt or something. I've never experienced it before,' he said with a smile.
'I have.'
'Oh?' He looked disappointed.
'In London, about three years ago,' I said, trying not to smile but failing miserably.
His grin lit up his face. I just sat looking at him for a moment. He was so different from Matt, with his short black hair and eyes that were such a dark shade of brown that they could almost be described as black. He had a flatter nose than my husband, and his skin was a deep shade, like he'd spent months in the sun, though it was just his natural colour. He had quite high cheekbones. He was just so beautiful.
'What?' he eventually asked. 'What are you looking at? What are you thinking?'
I looked away and took another sip of coffee, careful to avoid the milk moustache this time.
'Tell me.'
I shrugged. 'I was just thinking how different you are from Matt.'
'Oh, yes. I guess so. Very different, in fact.' He smiled.
'And how different I am from Charlie.'
'In every possible way.' His smile widened. 'Especially your ability to decorate your home.'
I laughed and threw back my head. 'You know Matt really likes your master bedroom?'
Adam flared his nostrils and laughed loudly, causing the people at the next table to stare. 'Oh dear. Well, what can I say?'
'Not a lot, really.' I chuckled. 'You know they're cycling together this morning?'
'Yes, Charlie asked me to go too, but she knew I wouldn't. I'm not a cycler.'
'You mean a cyclist?' I joked.