IX
Ed Clark was setting type for an extra when Don and Alis visited hisshop.
KING'S IN BUSINESS, the headline said.
"You don't sound like a loyal subject," Don said.
"Can't say I am," Clark admitted. "Guess I won't get to be a royalprinter."
"What's the story about?" Alis asked. "The splendid triumph of justicein court this morning?"
"No. Everybody knows all about that already. I've got the insidestory--what happens next. Just like _The New York Times_."
"Where'd you get it?" Don asked.
Clark winked. "Like Scotty Reston, I am not at liberty to divulge mysources. Let's just say it was learned authoritatively."
"Well," Alis said, "what does happen next?"
"'His Unconstitutional Majesty, King Hector I, will attempt to prop uphis shaky monarchy by seeking an ambassador from the United States, the_Sentry_ learned today. Such recognition, if obtained, would be followedimmediately by a demand for "foreign aid."
"'It is the thesis of the self-proclaimed king--known until 24 hours agoas just plain Hector--that the satellite status of Superior, thetraveling townoid, makes it a potentially effective arm of U. S.diplomacy. King Hector will point out to the State Department thebenefits of bolstering Superior's economy, especially during itsexpected foray over Europe and, barring such misfortune as being shotdown en route, into the Soviet domain.
"'The King will not suggest in so many words that Superior would make agood spy platform, but the implication is there. It will also be impliedthat unless economic aid--which in plain English means food and fuel tokeep Superior from starving and freezing to death--is forthcoming fromthe United States, Superior may choose the path of neutrality ...'
"That's as far as I've got," Clark said.
"I suppose the 'path of neutrality' means Superior might consider hiringitself out to the highest bidder?" Don asked.
"That would be one way of putting it," Clark said. "Undiplomatic butaccurate."
"How does Civek intend to get his message to Washington?" asked Don,aware that it had already been transmitted to the Pentagon via thetransceiver under his collar. "Bottle over the side?"
"My sources tell me they've got WCAV working on short wave. That right,Alis?"
"Don't ask me. I only live there."
"Do you still think Civek is fronting for the Cavalier crowd?" Don askedher.
"I don't remember saying that," she said. "I think I agreed with youwhen you said Civek was ineffectual. Who do _you_ think is behind him?Do you think he's king of the kangaroos?"
"Well," Don said, "they're the ones who took him away last night. Andwhen he came back this morning he had all the trappings. He didn't getthat coach-and-six from foreign aid."
Ed Clark said, "This is all very fascinating, kids, but it's not helpingme get out my extra. Don, why don't you take the little lady out tolunch? You can continue your theorizing over the blueplate special atthe Riverside Inn. Only place in town still open, they tell me."
* * * * *
Doc Bendy was hurrying out of the Riverside Inn as they reached it. Hewaved to them. "Save your money. His Gracious Majesty is throwing a freelunch for everybody."
"Where?"
"At the palace, of course."
"What palace?" Alis asked.
"The bubble gum factory. He's taken it over."
"Why the gum factory?"
"Cheeky McFerson offered it to him. Not the factory itself but the bigold house near the west wing. The mansion that's been closed up sincethe old man died. They say Cheeky's been given a title as part of thebargain."
"Sir Cheeky?" Alis asked, giggling.
"Something like that. Lord Chicle, maybe, or Baron de Mouthful. Come on.It should be quite a show."
Dozens of people were in the streets, all heading in the same direction.Word of the king's largess spread fast and, on the factory grounds,guards were directing the crowd to a line that disappeared into a sidedoor of the old McFerson mansion.
A flag flew from the top of a pole at the front of the house. It waswhipping in a stiff breeze and Don couldn't make out the device, exceptthat a crown formed part of it.
One of the guards recognized Alis Garet and directed her to the frontdoor. She took Doc Bendy and Don by their arms. "Come on," she said."We're VIP's. Father must have sworn allegiance."
The chief of police was sitting behind a desk in the wide front hall buthe now wore a military tunic with a chestful of decorations (includingthe Good Conduct Medal, Sergeant Cort noticed), and the visor of hismilitary cap was overrun with gold curlicues.
"Well, Vince," Bendy said. "I see you got in on the ground floor."
"General Sir Vincent Grande, Minister of Defense," Grande said with astiff little bow, "at your service."
"Enchanted," Bendy said, bowing back. "Tell me, Vince, how do you keep astraight face?"
"I'll overlook that, Bendy, and I'll give you a friendly tip. Thecountry is on a sound basis now and we intend to keep it that way.Obstructionists will be dealt with."
"The country, eh? Well, let's go in and see how it's being run."
A clattery hubbub came from the big room on the right. To Don it soundedlike any GI mess hall. It also looked like one. The line of peoplecoming in through the side door helped themselves to tin trays andsilverware, then moved slowly past a row of huge pots from whichwhite-coated men and women ladled out food. At the end of the servingline stood Cheeky McFerson, splendid in purple velvet. He was putting apiece of bubble gum on each tray.
On the other side of the room, opposite the servers, King Hector sat ona raised chair, crown on head, scepter in hand, nodding benevolently toanyone who looked at him. On each side of the king, sitting in lowerchairs, were members of what must have been his court. Professor OsbertGaret was one of them, and Maynard Rubach, president of the CavalierInstitute of Applied Sciences, was another.
"Oh, dear, there's Father," Alis said in dismay. "What is that silly hathe's wearing? It makes him look like Merlin."
"But Civek doesn't look a bit like King Arthur," Bendy said. "Let's gopay our respects. Straight faces, now."
"Ah, my dear," the king said when he saw Alis. "And gentlemen. Welcometo our court. May we introduce two of our associates? Sir Osbert Garet,Royal Astronaut, and Lord Rubach, Minister of Education."
"Father!" Alis spoke sharply to the Royal Astronaut. "How silly can youget?"
"Now, now, child," the king said reprovingly. "You must not risk ourdispleasure. For the time being our rule must be absolute--until thesafety of our kingdom has been assured. Sir Osbert," he said, "we trustthat at a more propitious time you will have a serious talk with yourcharming but impetuous daughter."
"My liege, I shall deal with her," the Royal Astronaut said, gloweringat Alis. "As Your Majesty has so wisely observed, she is but a slip of agirl."
Her father's apparent sincerity left Alis speechless. She looked fromBendy to Don, but they seemed to consider discretion and masklike facesthe better part of candor.
"Well spoken, Sir Osbert," the king said. He clapped his hands and aservant jumped. "Dinner for these three. Find a table, my friends, andyou will be served."
Don firmly guided Alis away. She had seemed about to explode. They foundan empty table out of earshot of the king, and three footmen lookinglike refugees from _Alice in Wonderland_ immediately began to servethem.
Bendy spread a napkin over his lap. "Let's curb our snickers and fillour stomachs," he said, "and later we can go out behind the barn andlaugh our heads off. Meanwhile, keep your eyes open."
They were eating meat loaf and potatoes. The meat loaf was so highlyspiced that it could have been almost anything.
"I wonder where His Worship got all the grub," Alis said.
"I don't know," Don said, "but it certainly doesn't look as if he needsany foreign aid."
Alis put down her fork suddenly and her eyes got big. She said, "Youdon't suppose--"
"Suppose
what?" Bendy said, spearing a small potato.
"I just had a horrible thought." She laughed feebly. "It's ridiculous,of course, but I wondered if by any chance we were eating Joe Negus."
"Don't be silly," Don said, but he put down his fork too.
"Of course it's ridiculous," Bendy said. "Hector only put Negus tosleep. He didn't kill him. Besides, Joe Negus wouldn't stretch farenough to feed this crowd."
"Is that why you're not eating any more?" Alis asked him.
"Why, no," Bendy said. "It's merely that I've had enough. It's true thatHector could have used his scepter on other transgressors, but--no, Irefuse to admit that he's turned cannibal."
"_He_ isn't eating," Don pointed out.
"I'll guarantee you he has, though. I've never known Hector to miss ameal. No. Hector may be a fool and a dupe, and power-hungry to boot, buthe's not a cruel man, or a deranged one."
"No?" Alis said. "I dare you to ask him what's in the meat loaf."
"All right." Bendy got up. "I'll ask to see the kitchen--to complimentthe chef. Want to come?"
"No, thanks. I might be mean to Father again."
She and Don watched Doc Bendy go to the improvised throne and talk toCivek. The king laughed and stood up and he and Bendy crossed the room.They went through a door behind the line of servers.
Don pushed his plate away. "You've certainly spoiled my appetite."
"I'm sorry," Alis said. "Maybe it's hereditary. Look at Father in thatidiot hat. Sir Osbert! Honestly, Don, if we ever get back to Earth I'mgoing to get out of Superior as fast as I can. What's it like inWashington?"
"Dull," he said. "Humid in the summer. And when you've exhausted thenational monuments there's nothing to do."
"Nothing? Don't tell me you don't have a girl friend back there. No,_don't_ tell me--I don't want to know. Oh, Don, what a terribly boringplace this must be for you."
"Boring!" he said. "I've never had such a wild, crazy time in my life.Furthermore," he said, "there's nobody like you back in Washington."
She beamed. "I'd kiss you right here, only Doc Bendy's coming back.Heck, I'll kiss you anyway."
She did.
"Ahem," said Bendy. "Also cough-cough. If you two can spare the time,there's someone I'd like you to meet."
"We're through, for now," Alis said. "Who?"
"One of our hosts. The power behind the shaky throne of Hector theFirst. I think you'll like him. He has a magnificent tail."
* * * * *
"Hector was very co-operative," Doc Bendy said. "I guess he figured hecouldn't keep it a secret for long anyhow, so he decided to be frank.After all, half the town saw them take him away."
"You mean Civek admits he's only a figurehead?" Don asked.
"Oh, he wouldn't admit that. His story is that it's a workingarrangement--a treaty of sorts. He's absolute monarch as far as thehuman inhabitants are concerned, but the kangaroos control Superior as apiece of geography."
"I knew Father couldn't have done it," Alis murmured.
They went down a flight of stairs off the main hall to a basement room.It was luxuriously furnished, as every room in the mansion must havebeen. There was a rug over inlaid linoleum and a blazing fireplace. Ahuge round mahogany table stood in the center of the room.
Hector Civek sat in one of the half-dozen leather armchairs drawn up tothe table. In another sat a furry, genial-looking blue-gray kangaroo.
Only it wasn't really a kangaroo, Don realized. It was more human thananimal in several ways. Its bearing, for instance, had dignity, and itsround eyes had intelligence. A thick tail at least three feet long stuckthrough a space under the backrest of the armchair. As Doc Bendy hadsaid, the tail was magnificent.
Civek nodded and smiled, apparently willing to forget his flare-up atAlis. "I'll introduce you," Civek said. "I mean _we'll_ introduce you.Oh, the hell with the royal 'we,' as long I'm among friends. This isGizl, and what I'm trying to say is that he doesn't speak English.Doesn't talk at all, as far as I can tell. But he understands thelanguage and he can read and write it. That's why all this."
He indicated the letter and number squares on the table. They were fromsets of games--Scrabble, Anagrams, I-Qubes, Lotto and poker dice.
"My granddaughter met Gizl, you'll recall," Doc Bendy said. "Either thisone or one like him. We don't know yet whether Gizl is a personal nameor a generic one."
"Let's find out," Don said. He sat down at the table and began to formsquares into a question.
"Wait a minute." Doc Bendy broke up Don's sequence. "The amenitiesfirst. Spell out 'Greetings,' or some such things. Manners, boy."
"Sorry." Don started over. He spelled GREETINGS, then ALIS GARET, thenDON CORT, and pointed from the squares to Alis and himself. "I assumeyou've already introduced yourself?" he asked Bendy.
Bendy nodded and the kangaroo-like creature inclined his furry head inacknowledgment to Alis and Don. Then he--Don had already stoppedthinking of the creature as an "it"--formed two words with his tapering,black-nailed fingers.
PLEASANT, he communicated. "GIZL." And he tapped his chest.
Don turned to Bendy. "Now can I ask him?"
"With His Majesty's permission," Bendy said solemnly.
Hector nodded. Don left the three names intact, distributing the rest,then put three squares together to spell _Man_. He pointed to the wordand then to Civek, Bendy, Alis and himself, excluding the creature.
"Well, I like that!" Alis said. "Do I look like a man?"
"Let's keep it simple, woman," Don said.
The creature nodded and pointed again to GIZL, then to himself, "Hedoesn't understand," Don said.
"It's quite possible his people don't have individual names," Bendysaid. "Let's call him Gizl for now and go on."
"Okay." Don thought for a moment, then formed a question. "Might as wellget basic," he said.
Q. ARE YOU FROM EARTH.
A. NO.
At the risk of irritating the others, Don repeated the questions andanswers aloud for the benefit of his eavesdropper in the Pentagon.
Q. ARE YOU FROM SOLAR SYSTEM
A. NOT YOURS
Q. WHEN DID YOU REACH EARTH
A. 1948 YOUR CALENDAR
Q. WHY
A. FRIENDSHIP
Q. WHY HAS NO ONE SEEN YOU SOONER
A. FEAR
Q. YOU MEAN YOU FRIGHTENED OUR PEOPLE
A. NO I MEAN FEAR OF YOUR PEOPLE
Q. WHY
A. GIZL RESEMBLE EARTH ANIMALS
Q. WAS SUPERIOR THE FIRST PLACE YOU LANDED
A. NO
Q. WHERE WAS IT
A. AUSTRALIA
"The home of the kangaroo," Doc Bendy said. "No wonder they had a badtime. I can imagine some stockman in the outback taking umbrage at akangaroo asserting its equality. Let me talk to him a while, Don."
Q. HOW MANY ARE THERE OF YOU
A. MANY
Q. HOW MANY
A. NO SPECIFIC COMMENT
Q. ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR RAISING SUPERIOR
A. ENTIRELY
Q. HOW
A. IMPOSSIBLE TO EXPLAIN WITH THESE
Q. WHERE IS SUPERIOR GOING
A. EAST FOR NOW
Q. AND LATER
A. NO SPECIFIC COMMENT
Q. 3000 LIVES ARE IN YOUR HANDS
A. GIZLS HAVE NO MALEVOLENT DESIGNS
Q. THANKS. YOU SAID FRIENDSHIP BROUGHT YOU. WHAT ELSE.
A. TRADE. CULTURAL EXCHANGE
Q. WHAT HAVE YOU TO TRADE
A. WILL DISCUSS THIS LATER WITH DULY CONSTITUTED AUTHORITY
Q. WHO. KING HECTOR
A. TERMINATING INTERVIEW WITH GOOD WILL ASSURANCES
"Wait," Alis said. "I haven't had a chance to talk to him." She formedletters into words. "I don't think he's being very frank with us but Ihave a few random questions."
Q. HOW MANY SEXES HAVE GIZLS
A. THREE
Q. MALE FEMALE AND
A. NEUTER
Q. ARE THERE BABIES
AMONG YOU
A. BABIES ARE NEUTER AND DEVELOP ACCORDING TO NEED
Q. CONFIDENTIALLY WHAT DO YOU THINK OF FATHERS SCIENCE
A. UNFATHOMABLE OUR MEAGER KNOWLEDGE
Q. FLATTERER
A. ENDING CONVERSATION WITH PLEASANT REGARD
Q. LIKEWISE
Gizl slid back his chair and got up. King Hector stood and bowed asGizl, who had nodded politely to each in turn, walked manlike, withouthopping, to a corner of the room which then sank out of sight.
"He's quite a guy, that Gizl," Hector said, taking off his crown andputting it on the table. "Makes me sweat," he said, wiping his forehead.
"Are you the duly constituted authority?" Bendy asked him.
"Who else? Somebody's got to be in charge till we get Superior back toEarth."
"Sure," Bendy said, "but you don't have to rig yourself up in ermine. Ialso have a sneaking suspicion that you aren't exactly anxious to getSuperior down in a hurry."
"I'll overlook that remark for old time's sake. But I defend thekingship. A show of force was necessary to prevent crime from runningrampant."
"Maybe," Bendy said. "Anyhow I appreciate your frankness in introducingus to Gizl and what he modestly describes as his meager knowledge. Sinceyou've already admitted that he's the one who provided the big feed,will you ease Alis's mind now and assure her that what she was eatingwasn't Negusburger?"
"Negusburger?" The king laughed. "Is that what you thought, Alis?"
"Not really," she said. "But I couldn't help wondering where all thefood came from all of a sudden."
"Over here." The king led them to the corner where Gizl had sunk fromsight. The top of the elevator, now level with the floor, blendedexactly with the linoleum tile. "I don't know how it works, but Gizland his people have their headquarters down there somewhere. All I haveto do is place the order and up comes food or whatever I need. Would youlike to try it?"
"Love to," Bendy said. "What shall I ask for?"
"Anything."
"Anything?"
"Anything at all."
"Well." Bendy looked impressed. "This will take a moment of thought. Howabout a gallon--no, as long as I'm asking I might as well ask for akeg--of rum, 151 proof."
Up it came, complete with spigot and tankard.
"Fabulous!" Bendy said. He rolled it out of the elevator and theelevator went down again.
"Let me try!" Alis said. "If Doc can get a keg, I ought to be able tohave--oh, say a pint of Channel No. 5. Would that be too extravagant?"
"A simple variation in formula, I should think," the king said.
What came up for Alis didn't look in the least like an expensive Parisperfume. In fact, it looked like a lard pail with a quantity of liquidsloshing lazily in it. But its aroma belied its looks.
"Oh, heaven!" Alis said. "Smell it!" She lifted it by its handle, stucka finger in it and rubbed behind each ear.
"It's a bit overpowering by the pint," Bendy said. He'd drained off partof a tankard of rum and looked quite at peace with the world. "You'dbetter get yourself a chaperone, Alis, if you're going to carry thataround with you."
"I'll admit they're not very good in the packaging department, butthat's just a quibble. Could I have--how many ounces in a pint?--sixteenone-ounce stoppered bottles? And a little funnel?"
"Easiest thing in the world," the king said. "Don? Anything you'd likeat the same time? Save it a trip."
"I've got an idea, Your Majesty, but I don't know whether you'dapprove. Even though I work in a bank, I've never seen a ten thousanddollar bill. Do you think they could whip one up?"
"I really don't know," Hector said. "It could upset the economy if welet the money get out of hand. But we can always send it right back.Let's see what happens."
The elevator came up with the bottles, the funnel and a green and goldbill.
It was, on the face of it, a ten thousand dollar bill. But the portraitwas that of Hector Civek, crowned and ermined. And the legend on it was:
"_Payable to Bearer on Demand, Ten Thousand Dollars. This Note isLegal Tender for all Debts, Public and Private, and is Redeemable inLawful Money at the Treasury of the Kingdom of Superior._ (Signed)_Gizl, Secretary of the Treasury._"