Then, as if an alien had just landed, Maria switched on the speaker and a whooshing beat sprinted quickly round the small room. It had to be the best sound on Earth, the best sound I had ever heard.
“The heart is doing well. Everything looks wonderful. Now we just have to make sure we keep him in there for as long as possible. The longer he stays in, the less chance he will need to go into the NICU. I know you have to go and see your mum and dad, but you must rest. You have to think of yourself. You’ve been through too much already, and this baby is too important to you.” Maria talked as she removed the scanner from Lisa’s belly.
“I’ll look after her Maria. I’ll make sure she’s safe.” I just wanted to burst with happiness, watching my wife and baby. I struggled like Lisa did with my emotions, unable to talk for a moment or two, trying to compose myself so I could be strong for Lisa. She still had so much more to face, so much more to do to get through this.
Chapter Four
Maria placed the scanner on its mount, reached for a paper towel and wiped Lisa’s stomach. Once finished, Lisa pulled her top down and went to sit up. Maria put the cart with the monitor on away and came round to be with Lisa. I offered Maria my stool. She took it.
“Lisa, this has been toughest on you. Two years of IVF. I know Nick was there with you all the way through it, and I know that helped, but having to go through that treatment as a woman, it takes a toll on our bodies. Now, you have all this other pressure on you. You have to think of the baby. And yourself. If you make yourself ill, the baby won’t do so well.”
The floodgates opened and Lisa began to sob, crying into Maria’s arms. “Maria, I can’t do this anymore. It just hurts so much. Why? Why did this have to happen. Why now? Everything was going so well, he was doing so well.”
“I know, Lisa. But you knew there was always this possibility.”
“Not yet, though. At least let us have a family together. At least let him see his son. We’d waited two years for this, and when it happens, wham, I’m on my own. And I don’t want to be on my own. I want Nick.”
“I’m here, Lisa. I’m here. You’re not on your own. Please don’t believe I’ve gone.”
“But I feel him all the time with me. And it just breaks my heart all over again. I go to sleep at night dreaming of him holding me. Then when I wake in the morning, for a second or two I really believe it’s true, that he’s really there, that it’s all been a terrible nightmare. But I roll over and he isn’t, and the sudden realization that he’s gone, and he’s never coming back. Oh Maria, why does it have to hurt so much?”
Maria sat quietly holding Lisa, and all I could do was watch. I thought my holding her while she slept was helping, giving her comfort. But all it was doing was breaking her heart all over again. I didn’t want to leave her and the baby. I didn’t want to go. But what choice did I have. To watch her here, breaking her heart over the fact that I am here, was too much to bear. I turned to leave, not sure what to say, what to do.
“But then, I realize that if he didn’t visit me every night, didn’t hold me, I’d be even worse. I’d have no reason to keep going, to keep fighting for the life of our baby. Oh Maria. I love him. I’ll always love him. He was my life. The first day I ever saw him I knew he was the one for me. But I was only seventeen. Mum wouldn’t let me go and talk to boys, let alone men. He was so much older than me. Ten years older. But I knew. I knew he felt the same as me. When I got the chance to study at the university here, it was like fate was playing a role in our lives, giving us a chance to be together.
“But mum and dad were angry, not wanting me to be so far away from home. I let him know I was coming, asked for his help, and he never let me down. But we never mentioned how much we loved each other, not until I arrived, not until I was away from my parents.
“And he was always honest with me. He told me straight away about his illness, that he’d never live a long life. And I was prepared to accept that. I didn’t mind as long as we could be together. And because of his shorter life span I agreed to marry him young, to give him children straight away. I’d never been with a man before, never had a boyfriend. He was my first, my one and only.
“Now, now I’m left all alone, to bring up our child alone.”
“So why don’t you go back home to your parents and stay there. Then you’ll have help.”
“No. They never agreed to my marrying Nick. They made it very clear they didn’t approve. And to be honest, Maria, being in our apartment, I feel closer to him. It’s like he’s there, all the time, talking to me. Wherever I go, around the city, I feel him next to me, holding me. If I leave, he won’t come with me, he can’t leave the city. He’s trapped here. And I need him by my side. I need to hear his comforting voice, telling me I’m doing okay, guiding me when I’m unsure.”
Lisa stopped talking for a moment, a smile appearing on her face. As always it captured my heart. The tears that had been flowing down my own cheeks listening to her. They were picking up speed as I watched her beautiful smile, her incredible face come to life. She was my angel.
“It’s ironic. We always thought it would be the cystic fibrosis that would take his life. Not his damn job. For God’s sake, he’s a professor at a university. But why did he have to go out into the mountains that day? Why did he have to go and check out the reports? He never goes to the mountains, never. Yet this one day he just had to do it, go and see the vampire for himself. Who’d ever imagine, it would be a vampire that would be the end of him, a vampire that would take his life.”
Maria comforted Lisa and when Lisa was ready to leave the two ladies said ‘goodbye’ and went their separate ways.
Lisa headed to the elevator and pressed the call button. As the doors opened and she stepped inside, I joined her. And as the small car descended to the ground floor I made my move.
“I love you, Mrs. Vãduva.” I took my wife in my arms, kissing her with all the love and gentleness I could give her.
“I’ll be back. Just a year and a day, and I’ll be back.”
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