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“Yeah, well, I’m not your dad! And it wasn’t exactly my plan to have Juan die before we even got started, so that I had to be in charge of training this bunch—” Kara broke off. Exhaling, she ran a hand across her face; there was silence. “Oh, hell, I messed up, okay?” she said finally, her voice weary. “They’d been doing target practice for what seemed like for ever, and I’d just found out about the Council, and this being our only chance – and I guess I sort of freaked. I thought it might be good practice for them, or something – like we couldn’t just sit here with all this going on; we had to get out and do something. ”
Alex sighed – he could understand this kind of frustration all too well. “Yeah, I know. Don’t beat yourself up over it. ” He looked down at his plate again; took a disinterested bite. “No one could be like Juan, anyway. He was one of the best leads I ever worked under. ”
Kara leaned back, crossing her ankle over her knee. She gave him a long, appraising look. “I bet you could be like Juan,” she said at last. “Maybe even better. ”
Alex’s muscles stiffened; he could see Willow watching him, and knew she was thinking the same thing as Kara. His voice came out sharper than intended. “No way. You’re in charge, Kara. I’ll help however I can, but I’m not going to come in here and take over your team. ”
She rolled her eyes. “What about if I begged and pleaded?” she said. “Alex, seriously; I’m barely holding it together here. Give me an angel to shoot and I’m fine – but this?” She shook her head. “Even when you were a kid you were a great AK. I bet you’d be fantastic at all the strategy stuff, and the training – it’s just in your blood; you’ve been around it your whole life. God, I remember you taught me the best way to go for a halo, and you were only around fourteen!”
Willow touched his hand; her voice was steady. “You’d be great. I know it isn’t really something you want, but you’d be so, so good at it. ”
“You’ve got to do it,” said Kara. “You have got to. Or else we don’t even stand a chance against the Council. ”
So here it was, the thing he’d dreaded so much – as inevitable as the coldness of ice. Alex’s bruised cheek gave a throb. Somehow he’d known this would happen, from the moment he first saw Sam flailing around with the gun, screaming at the angel to come and get him. There was no getting away from it. He couldn’t say no, even though he wanted to refuse this more than anything he’d ever faced – because it wasn’t just a team’s safety he’d be responsible for now; it was all of humanity’s.
“If I’m lead, then the first priority is to get floor plans for the hotel,” he said finally. “I also need more specific security information. A lot more specific; every detail you can find out – how many guards, exactly what’s happening at this reception, everything. And as soon as the team is ready, we’ll have to start taking them out on safe hunts – the safest we can manage, so they can get some real-life practice. I don’t want any of them dying if I can help it. ” His mouth twisted. “Not even that jerk-off Texan. ”
“You got it, chief,” said Kara softly.
Chief. Alex resisted pulling a face. “Are you okay with this?” he said to Willow.
She nodded. She looked resigned, as if she too found this inevitable. At the same time, apprehension flickered deep within her green eyes, and he knew how worried she was. “Of course,” she said. “This is what we have to be doing. ”
“So, I guess I’ll tell the team tonight,” said Kara.
Alex started to eat again; the food had lost all its flavour. “Tomorrow,” he said. “Let me get some sleep first, okay?”
Kara nodded. And though he was exhausted, Alex didn’t know whether that was the real reason he wanted to put the announcement off, or whether he just wanted a few more hours’ reprieve before he had to take this on. He glanced at Willow, wishing again that they were alone. He wanted to find out how she really felt about staying here, given the reception she’d received.
Willow seemed to guess what was on his mind; her fingers rested fleetingly on his arm, telling him it was okay. She pushed her chair back. “Is there a restroom I could use?” she asked Kara.
Kara turned, pointing with a slender brown arm. “Yeah – just go through that door and it’s upstairs, second door on the left. ”
After Willow had disappeared, Kara said, “So. She does that too. ”
Alex didn’t look up from his meal. “Yeah, gosh, just like a real human being. Do you think you could stop being such an idiot about this? As a special favour to me?” He shovelled another bite of spaghetti into his mouth.
“She’s very pretty,” said Kara after a pause.
“I know. ”
“So. . . can I ask you a personal question?”
He looked up sharply; her beautiful face was bland. “Yeah, you can ask,” he said. “I might not answer, if it’s none of your business. ”
She tapped her pink nails on the table. “Well, I’m guessing you two are – intimate, am I right?”
Alex held back a snorting laugh and took another bite of spaghetti. If Kara thought he was going to discuss his sex life with her, she was insane.
“Okay, fine, don’t tell me,” she said. “But what I’m getting at is, aren’t you worried about angel burn?”
He let out a groan and dropped his fork. Kara went on before he could say anything. “I mean, all right, she’s not on the side of the angels; I get that. But that doesn’t mean being close to her won’t physically hurt you somehow. I’m not saying she’d do it on purpose, but—”
Alex gritted the words out. “Listen carefully and I’ll say it again – she is not like them. She doesn’t feed. How could she give me angel burn?”
Kara shrugged, her expression arch. “I don’t know. Who the hell knows anything about a half-angel? She doesn’t even know, so how can you?”
“Yeah, well, thanks for your concern,” he said, picking up his fork again. “I feel fine. ”
“Good,” she said. “Glad to hear it. ” She picked up the sheet of paper with Juan’s writing on it, turning it over thoughtfully. “Course, you don’t always know these things, do you? Some of those cancers, for instance, can take a real long time to start showing themselves—”
He glared at her; he would have happily smashed the plate of spaghetti in her face. “Kara, I’m serious – shut the hell up. ”
A strained silence fell. “Hey,” she said eventually, touching his shoulder. “Don’t be mad at me, Al. I mean, just put yourself in my shoes – I really hope that if I came strutting in here with some half-angel boyfriend, you’d start asking a few questions. ”
He managed a smile at her old nickname for him, and knew she was right. If he had been in her place, he’d have been saying the exact same things. He shook his head. “Kara, Willow is. . . she’s the kindest, most unselfish person I’ve ever known. She’d die before she hurt me, or anyone else. ”
Kara lifted a hand. “Okay,” she said, and he knew she was holding back from repeating what she’d said before – that it might not be something Willow was doing on purpose. “Just keep it in mind, all right? That’s all I’m asking. ” She changed the subject adroitly. “You know, I really cannot get over how much you look like Jake now – you’ve actually grown into those shoulders of yours. What a difference a couple of years makes, huh?”