The reaper stepped toward me, his head low, his black eyes fixed on me with a hungry stare. "Get up, girl!"
I struggled to my feet in the debris, cradling my broken wrist, stumbling from the pain that rocketed up my arm. I could feel the tiny bones clicking and moving beneath my skin, snapping themselves back into place.
"So, here we are," he sneered. "Bastian doesn't even care whether you die now. 'Your death is no longer necessary,' he says. Wel , his orders mean nothing to me now. I'm stil going to eat you alive."
"El ie, don't listen to him!" Wil shouted.
Ragnuk tossed his head at Wil . "Your Guardian doesn't know when he has lost. Typical of a vir." The reaper thudded over to Wil and looked him up and down. "You al think you're gods, storming around, barking orders. You're no better than the humans. You look just like them." He spat on the ground at Wil 's feet. "For the most part."
Ragnuk drew a talon down Wil 's cheek with, drawing a red line of blood. The cut healed instantly. The claw was large enough to punch right through Wil 's skul , but the ursid reaper's movement was shockingly gentle. "You do a good job, Guardian. Looks like you've got her fooled into thinking you're human. She doesn't even remember what you're capable of, does she?"
Wil didn't answer him. Why Ragnuk didn't just kil Wil , I didn't understand. He had us both at his mercy at that moment, but he chose to taunt us instead of just finishing us off. It was like he was getting a high off his momentary power over us.
"You haven't told her anything, have you?" Ragnuk laughed. "You arrogant vir bastard. No attempt to jog her memory? Should I do the honors? Shal we remind her of the monster you truly are?" He smiled with his bear face and licked his fangs.
Wil jerked away from him and swung a fist, but the reaper moved his head fluidly to the side, avoiding the strike effortlessly. Ragnuk grabbed the end of the pipe with his jaws and bent it upward. The metal creaked and groaned until it pointed at the ceiling at a ninety-degree angle. Wil gasped for breath.
"Get out of that, Guardian," Ragnuk sneered, his voice dark and cruel.
"Wil !" I cried in horror. I squeezed my fist and whimpered in pain.
Ragnuk smiled and stepped away from Wil heavily, his talons clicking on the floor. He lumbered toward me, but stopped halfway and turned to pace back and forth. He seemed conflicted somehow, probably deciding whether to kil me or to chew on me for a bit before I died.
"Why don't you show her your true self?" Ragnuk growled to Wil . "You could escape that trap easily. I've seen you escape from worse. You're holding back Guardian!"
I stared at Wil in confusion. What was Ragnuk talking about? Wil had told me he didn't shape-shift like Geir. My gut trembled. Had he lied to me? Was he about to transform right in front of me?
Wil 's arms strained with the excruciating effort of trying to free himself from the pipe. He didn't look up to Ragnuk when he spoke. He stared down at the pipe, his hair fal ing over his eyes. "I am not like you."
The ursid laughed, bel owing. "You are a reaper! I don't care if you're angelic or demonic or idiotic. You're not human, so stop pretending to be!" Spittle flecked his mouth as he yel ed. "You have a hunger that can never be sated."
"I'm better than that," Wil groaned.
"You are not!" Ragnuk roared. "You think you're not a monster, but you are. Show her, Guardian. Show the girl!"
"I'm not a monster!" As Wil dragged his body toward the end of the pipe, his power detonated, slamming the ground and wal behind him. He grabbed the pipe with both hands and bent it until the metal was straight. I watched in horror as Wil slid forward and he dropped to the ground, leaving the pipe stained dark and a gaping hole in his abdomen. He col apsed to the ground on al fours, spil ing red. He coughed and moaned as he struggled weakly to his feet and faced Ragnuk. "But I am not human either."
Wil staggered to the side, leaning against the gorecovered pipe as the hole in his gut closed over. When he turned back to me with anguished eyes, his bel y was smooth, but his shirt was shredded. He ripped the pipe clean out of the wal , yanking a chunk of the wal with it. Ragnuk snarled, curling his lips back and exposing his massive fangs. The ursid pounded Wil 's back to the wal , his jaws gaping wide, ready to snap. Wil swung the pipe up with both hands, striking Ragnuk in the mouth. The ursid chomped savagely, lashing his head back and forth, gagging and snarling. Wil yanked the bar out of Ragnuk's mouth and jammed it through the ursid's neck. Ragnuk roared and thrashed, ramming his skul into Wil 's temple with a sickening crack. Wil hit the ground hard and didn't move. I tested my grip again and found my hand now ful y healed, and I bolted forward, grabbing one of my swords on the way as I ran to help Wil . Ragnuk's paw struck my chest and slammed me to the floor, knocking the breath right out of me. As I lay there gasping, his other front paw stomped on my arm holding the sword, pinning my blade. I yanked, but the lack of oxygen had weakened me. I stared up into the reaper's inky black eyes.
"This is the end for you," he hissed. Blood from the bar impaling his neck leaked onto my shirt.
"No, it's not," I snarled.
He smiled cruel y. "Oh, I think it is. Once again, your Guardian is down and you are alone. I know you remember the last time you and I were alone. I'd like to relish the moment, savor it, if you don't mind."
I glared up into his empty eyes. My fear for Wil 's safety consumed me, and that fear spun into hate and rage. "That was then. This is now."
My power swel ed into a swirling orb in my palm, the heat of it blasting both of us. Ragnuk's eyes widened. I let it erupt point blank into his face, the white-hot light swal owing his entire upper body. He shrieked and reeled back, shaking his head violently, blinded by the light of my power. I rol ed away from him and swept up my second sword.
Ragnuk backed away, fighting against the glaring light. When it settled, I gaped at the damage I had done to him. Half his face had burned away, revealing sinewy muscle, sagging chunks of flesh, and gleaming white bone. His massive fangs were exposed completely on the right side, and the charred bones of his jaws clicked grotesquely. His right eye was missing from the dark, bony socket, and his remaining eye was shut tight from pain. He breathed heavily, wheezing, staggering on his feet. I watched in horror as his face tried to heal itself; the flesh bubbled and spread slowly, uselessly. He needed to feed.
The reaper stared up at me with his one bloodshot eye, a new hate and hunger boiling within him. My pulse pounded faster.
"Now, look what you've gone and done," he spat with his half-skeletal face. "How did you burn me? It burns like angelfire!"
I held my ground, my own fury matching his. The corners of my vision pulsed, darkening, and I fought to stay focused. My power was building steadily, swel ing past my limit of control. I was slipping again, but I didn't fight it. Al I yearned for now was to dig my hands through Ragnuk's entrails, to smel the sizzle of angelfire on his hide.
"You don't stand a chance, girl," he snarled. "You reek of humanity. I can smel your soul through your skin. It makes you weak."
"My humanity makes me strong!" I shouted, the truth in my words resonating deep within my heart. "It gives me passion so I can keep on fighting, and my friends and family give me something worth fighting for!"
"And if you didn't have those swords?" He laughed, spittle and blood flying from his maw. "You and your weapons. You're helpless without them. You'd be nothing without them. My weapons are part of me. Tooth, claw, and bone." He dug his nails into the floor and licked the charred remains of his black lips. "You're helpless, Preliator, and you always wil be."
Something swel ed deep within me, something angry, desperate, and dark. It flowed at my feet like fog, flickering with snaps of electricity. I crouched, feeling the energy pulsing from me and out through space. The floor throbbed as if it had a heartbeat, hammering inside my head in time with my own pulse, drowning my senses in the hypnotic rhythm. I forced my eyes up to meet the reaper's angry stare. I snarled, binding my power to me, feeling it pounding against my wil . "I am not helples
s!" I shrieked, releasing my power ful force. The concrete floor sank beneath me and I with it, the white light swal owing Ragnuk whole. He roared and leaped high into the air before coming down on me. He landed with an earth-shattering thud and lashed a paw at me, but my arm shot up, deflecting his strike. I swung the sword in my other hand up, but his teeth clamped down on the flaming blade, wrenched it from my grip, and threw it aside. I jammed my fist into his soft throat and his jaws crunched shut. I stared into Ragnuk's eyes and felt myself slipping away again, into the darkness deep within me. Deep down inside I knew that if I lost control, I could hurt Wil . But as soon as the thought had passed, so did my sense. Crouching low to the floor, I gathered my power as I had done moments before, my swords back in hand. I ground my teeth tightly as the energy col ected inside me, swal owing me in white light, pressing outward on every inch of me.
"You can't do it, girl!" Ragnuk thundered, the white of his one remaining eye flashing like a crazed animal's. I felt the floor creak and groan, throbbing under strength that couldn't have belonged to me. With a hoarse cry I forced my power into the floor, crushing the concrete with the might of a tidal wave. The floor rol ed in waves, rising and fal ing like water, before it sank deeper in a massive crater. The building ached and moaned as dust shook free.
"It's not going to happen!" The reaper's voice was distant and muffled.
I sent another shockwave rocketing in a circle around me, and it exploded into the wal s and columns like a bomb. The windows shattered and sprayed countless glittering glass shards al around me. Steel crunched and screeched, and the ceiling sagged heavily. Debris crashed to the floor. My hair blazed around my face like a wildfire. Someone far away seemed to be screaming, and I realized after a moment that it was me.
Again. The columns closest to me and the beams above crashed to the floor, ripping out giant hunks of the ceiling. As a beam col apsed beside Ragnuk, I could see fear final y resonate across his scorched face. He roared and launched himself at me, talons outstretched.
My power rocked the building once more, and the ceiling plummeted down on top of Ragnuk. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself to share his fate.
But it never came. Warm hands wrapped around me, cradling me close to an even warmer body. I felt a strange rushing feeling and then it was gone a moment later. The air was now cold and I was on my feet again. As my eyes focused, I found myself in the middle of the street looking back at the ruined warehouse. My vision pulsed, and I was unsure whether or not what I saw was actual y real. Half the building had col apsed to the ground and was nothing but an undefined pile of wood, brick, and metal.
I searched for Ragnuk in case he had survived. Al seemed quiet until I heard a rustling among the debris, and the fury inside me swel ed once again to the surface and spil ed over. I climbed over the pile of debris and found Ragnuk crushed beneath a section of the ceiling. Blood seeped from his mouth. His bones were flattened beneath the rubble--al but his half-exposed skul and a single foreleg. The claws of his free paw raked the rubble weakly, as if he were trying to climb his way to freedom, but his efforts were useless. I stepped up to him, both my swords in hand, the blades scraping the chunks of concrete beneath me. The reaper's wet, black eye rol ed up to meet mine, swiveling so much that a stripe of reddening white showed around the rim.
"Are you . . . ? You're going to . . . finish me now?" Ragnuk strained, his jawbone creaking in its joints, the visible muscle shredded, his talons clawing desperate streaks into the concrete. The burned flesh on his face stil bubbled and strained, trying to heal. It amazed me that he could even speak, let alone breathe.
I said nothing as I stared down at him coldly. I couldn't make sense enough to reply. Al I could perceive was how much anger I felt toward the beast who was now at my mercy. For so long I had feared him, but now that he was helpless at my feet, I felt nothing but satisfaction and a burning need for destruction.
"Who . . . is the monster . . . now?" He laughed, a pathetic, wheezing laugh, as my blades erupted with angelfire. The white light flickered on our faces beneath the black night sky.
"You . . . don't have the spine!" he hissed with morbid, sadistic amusement.
Unfortunately for him, it was mercy that I lacked, not a spine. I raised my swords high overhead. He stopped laughing when I had finished hacking off his head. UNCORRECTED E-PROOF--NOT FOR SALE
HarperCollins Children's Books
..................................................................... 28
SOMEONE SPOKE BEHIND ME AND I SPUN AROUND, swinging my sword high as I let out a terrible cry. Bloodlust blurred my vision as my attacker struck my arm, blocking my sword strike. I kicked my foot into his chest, and he fel back with a grunt. My sword slashed again, this time ripping flesh, and I swung again, but he grabbed my wrist and squeezed until I dropped the sword from pain. I threw my newly freed fist and struck his jaw. He groaned and staggered to the side. I lunged for his throat, but the heel of his palm struck my chest, knocking the wind out of me. I col apsed forward, breathless, into my attacker's arms.
"El ie."
My heart seemed to stop as my knees hit the ground and he fel with me. His voice shook my soul and woke me, and his firm hands on my shoulders kept me from fal ing. His scent fil ed my head and I clung to him, horrified at myself for what I had done--what I had done to him.
I opened my eyes and stood, looking down into Wil 's face as he stared up at me, looking brokenhearted. I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I touched the deep cut I had made in his arm.
"I hurt you," I said, my voice cracking. "You got me out of there and I hurt you."
Wil 's face remained pained. "I'm al right."
The wound vanished. My hand slid up his shoulder and neck to cup his cheek. "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have let it get this far."
"It doesn't matter. What's done is done."
I buried my face in my hands, Ragnuk's final words echoing in my head. "Al these nightmares, hal ucinations . . . I'm becoming a monster!"
Wil stood, and his presence wrapped around me. "You're not becoming a monster."
"How do you know? How are you so sure that I'm not going to become something that isn't me?"
"Because I know you," he said, lifting my chin and looking into my eyes. "I know you better than I know anyone else. After al these centuries and every life you've led, you've always held on to who you are."
Shaking my head, I fought back a sob. "I can't take it when I feel like someone else. I get so angry, so violent, and I know this isn't who I am. What if I can't control it? What if I hurt you even more next time? I couldn't tel you from my enemy. I mean, look at what I did!" I threw my arm out toward the wreckage of the warehouse. "I'm as demonic as the creatures I fight."
"You aren't demonic and you aren't a monster," he said, his voice firmer. "Even when your power threatens to control you, it has never succeeded. Things have happened, yes, but you're stil you. You've got to trust me, El ie."
"But I'm so afraid of myself and what I'm capable of. And now I'm going to lose my soul forever. I don't want to die and I don't want to become nothing."
"I won't let that happen to you. I'l make sure you survive!"
"I don't want to survive, Wil , I want to live!" I cried. He froze then, staring at me as what I'd just confessed to him sunk in.
"I want to live," I repeated. "I want be myself and go to school, to col ege, to parties, to the movies, bowling, footbal games. I want to rol around in the snow in my bathing suit and then jump into a hot tub. I want to pick out prom dresses with my mom and I want to road trip with Kate this summer. I want to grow up. I want to get married and maybe have a baby someday. I don't want to spend every day afraid of what might jump out at me from the shadows. I don't want to hide because horrible things are hunting me. I don't want to die and come back and not remember your face, Wil . I don't want to spend another lifetime not knowing who you are!"
He pul ed me close and wrapped his arms around me. I pressed my
face against his warm chest and final y al owed myself to cry.
"It'l be al right," Wil whispered into my hair, taking in a long, tortured breath. His hands spil ed over my shoulders and my back, holding me tightly to him. My fingers curled around his shirt just to hold him closer.
With a deep breath, I peeked past him and saw my car sitting unharmed in the al ey on the side of the warehouse that hadn't col apsed, covered in a thick layer of dirt. The sarcophagus sat just beyond the Audi and was equal y unharmed. Wil had somehow gotten himself and the sarcophagus out of harm's way just in time. Just in time before I let a building fal down on top of him.
I didn't know how long he held me there before I stepped away. It could have been hours, but I wouldn't have noticed.
"What did Ragnuk mean when he wanted you to show your true self?" A part of me didn't want to know the answer, but another part ached for it.
He didn't answer at first and his hands rubbed my shoulders gently. His cheek burrowed into my hair. "He believed I'm something I'm not," he said. "I've tried very hard not to be the kind of dark they are. The demonic reapers hate my kind for that, and they hate me even more for protecting you."
I leaned into him. I understood what it felt like to be something frightening and try to maintain some shred of humanity. Wil fought the same kind of darkness that threatened to destroy who I real y was, the darkness that threatened to destroy him and take him away from me. We both waged internal wars against the monsters inside us. It made us dangerous to everyone around us, and to each other. I'd been so busy worrying about fighting the scary side of me that I'd forgotten he was doing the same. He was always thinking of me and what I needed, and I never thought about what he needed.
"What's wrong, El ie? Tel me how I can fix this."
My breath trembled as I drew it in and I pressed my face deeper into his chest. "I thought he had kil ed you."
He exhaled and kissed my hair.
"I thought I was going to lose you," I confessed, biting back a sob that threatened to break free.