“What?”
“There’s something in the library for Molly.”
“What is it?”
“A gift.”
“What kind of a gift?” If Molly didn’t know Gabriella, why would Gabriella give her a gift?
“A very special book.”
“I don’t know …”
“She will be very glad to have it.”
“How do you know?”
Gabriella smiled. “I just know.”
Leah wanted to shout that she was sick of the mysterious smiles and enigmatic conversation. Instead she asked, “Will she really want this book? I don’t want to upset her, and she’s pretty upset already about you sneaking around the hospital pretending you’re a nurse.”
“I never said I was a nurse.”
“But you acted like one. What else was I supposed to think?”
“I cannot help what you thought. I never pretended to be anybody except myself.” Gabriella’s voice was soft. She held Leah’s gaze, and inexplicably all Leah’s fear and anger vanished. She saw a beautiful woman with gentle brown eyes. “You have many questions,” Gabriella said.
“Yes,” Leah answered, her voice barely a whisper.
“It will take a lifetime to answer them.” Gabriella reached out to Leah. “I have a gift for you too, Leah.”
“What?” Gabriella took Leah’s hands in hers and placed them on Leah’s wrapped knee. Then she tenderly covered Leah’s hands with her own. Warmth from their combined touches spread through her sore knee.
“Do you want to be well?”
“Of course.”
“Then believe.”
“Believe what?”
“Believe in the power and goodness of God.”
“I—I believe …” Leah stared into Gabriella’s eyes, and suddenly she did believe. She believed in a power higher and stronger than what could be seen or explained. She closed her eyes, and a feeling of peace enveloped her. When she opened her eyes, she was alone, still clutching her knee. All she saw was the darkened corners of her room and the lamp glowing on the table. Nothing remained of Gabriella.
Leah told Ethan everything, but he could make no sense of it either. “Perhaps you fell asleep and dreamed this,” he suggested. “How does your leg feel?”
She rotated it. “I’m not sure. About the same, I guess.”
“Did she frighten you?”
“A little. She’s strange. And after what Molly said about—” She interrupted herself. “Ethan! Help me to the library.”
“Why?”
“Gabriella said there was a book in the library that would mean a lot to Molly.”
“What book?”
“I don’t know, but I need to find it.”
He helped her with her crutches and walked with her as she hobbled down the dimly lit hall. In the library, Leah peered around at the shelves.
“How will you know which is the right book?” Ethan said.
Leah didn’t know what drew her to the right side of the room, to the third shelf, halfway over. But that was where she instinctively went. She leaned against the bookcase, handed one crutch to Ethan and gingerly tugged a small book off the shelf. The book was worn, bound in green leather, and fastened tightly with an old-fashioned clasp lock. The lock wouldn’t budge. “This is it.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.”
Ethan swept his hand over her hair. She looked into his eyes and forgot about the book, forgot about everything except his nearness. “You are beautiful, Leah. And I know that you will be all right.”
Her heart pounded crazily. “What makes you say that?”
“Because it is Christmas.” His smile almost lit the room. “And because I do not lie.”
Leah was taken down to X ray first thing in the morning. She introduced her mother to Ethan as “my guardian angel,” and when he looked startled, she patted his hand and said, “It’s just a figure of speech.”
She endured the radioactive injection, sat and talked to Ethan and her mother while it was absorbed into her bones, and lay perfectly still on the table for the scanning camera. Then she returned to her room and started to pack. She was almost finished when the X-ray department sent for her a second time.
Again she went down to X ray, where a very agitated technician said she had to repeat the procedure.
“Why again?” her mother demanded. “Can’t you get it right?”
“Look, lady, I know how to do my job, but whatever her doctor’s looking for didn’t show up clear enough, so I have to do it again.”
Leah glanced at Ethan, who shrugged and squeezed her hand.
Much later, as she was leaving the floor to go home—in a wheelchair, as all patients were required to do—Molly hurried up to her. “I’m so glad I caught you. I wanted to say goodbye and let you know I’ll be here after the holidays when you come back.” She saw Ethan and looked surprised.
“I came to keep her company,” he explained.
Leah remembered the book and reached into her bag. “I have something for you. Actually, it’s from Gabriella.”
“She came to see you?” Molly looked alarmed.
“Don’t be worried. She won’t be back.” Leah handed Molly the book. “She wanted you to have this.”
Molly took it, then gasped. All the color drained from her face. “Where did she get this?”
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Seeing Molly’s reaction made Leah’s heart skip.
“It’s my sister’s diary. It’s been missing for all these years. We knew Emily kept it. I saw her writing in it, but after she died, we couldn’t find it anywhere.” Molly hugged the book to herself as tears streamed down her face.
“Gabriella told me it was in the library, and that’s exactly where Ethan and I found it.”
“How can that be? That library’s been revamped and restocked many times over the years. Someone would have found it before now.”
“I don’t know how,” Leah said, equally baffled. “But that’s where we found it. Just like Gabriella said we would. It’s locked.”
“I have the key. I’ve kept it all these years.” Molly wiped her eyes. “Oh, Leah, what a wonderful present for my parents. We’re supposed to go there for Christmas dinner. I’ll take it with me and we’ll read it together.” She looked at Leah. “Thank you. And thank this Gabriella when you see her.”
“She told me that I won’t see her again,” Leah said. “And I believe her.”
The elevator door slid open. “Let’s blow this place,” Leah’s mother said.
In the lobby, they waited for Leah’s mother to drive the car to the front door. Outside, snow was falling. Leah saw a gray van off to one side. Ethan touched Leah’s cheek. “My ride to Nappanee is waiting for me. I must go.”
Leah clung to his hand, not wanting him to leave her. “Ethan, I want you to know how much it mattered to me to have you come stay with me.”
“I wanted to stay with you.”
“I don’t want you to be in trouble because of it.”
“I cannot change what I have done.” He squared his jaw. “You should not worry about me.”
“I’ll write you. Charity and Rebekah, too.”
He grinned and stroked her hair. “We’ll wait for your letter.”
“Please tell them Merry Christmas, and that it helped knowing they were praying for me.”
“So are you no longer angry with God?”
She sighed. “I guess not. I need his help, don’t I?”
He bent and kissed her forehead. “Merry Christmas, English.”
“Merry Christmas,” she whispered. She watched him step out into the snow, his dark coat, pants and broad-brimmed hat stark against the white snow. She pressed her hand to her mouth and felt the lingering warmth of his touch. She watched him disappear into the van, and she hoped with all her heart that angels would watch over him forever.
January 30
Dear Charity,
Thanks fo
r your letter. I love hearing from you. I’m mailing you two letters in this envelope, one for you and Rebekah, the other for Ethan. Could you please give it to him?
Since you asked for my news, I’ll give it to you in detail. Where to begin?… I went back to the hospital right after New Year’s Day and Mom, Neil and I met with Dr. Thomas and two of his colleagues. I wish you could have been there. It’s hard to write down what happened, but I’ll try. Dr. Thomas hung four sets of my X rays on his light board, which included a series he’d had done that very morning. The first few sets of X rays showed big dark spots where cancer had eaten away my bone. But on the newest set of X rays the spots were smaller! He explained that the X rays were showing that the cancer wasn’t nearly as advanced as they originally thought. So I endured another biopsy which showed that while there were still some questionable cells, the doctors felt that after a round of chemotherapy, I’ll eventually be all right. In other words, NO amputation! What a relief!
Mom went ballistic (which means crazy-angry). She shouted, “What if you’d cut off Leah’s leg and then found you’d made a mistake? Then what would you say?” Dr. Thomas insisted he hadn’t made a mistake. He assured us his diagnosis had been correct. He explained that sometimes X rays can look different from each other, but he did agree that he was mystified by the shrinking spots. He showed us some pretty interesting stories in a medical book about patients who go into “spontaneous remission” with absolutely no help from medical science. He admitted that there really are some weird unexplained healings. I mean people who were at death’s door—much worse off than me—and then their sicknesses mysteriously vanished over time. That’s when Dr. Thomas recommended chemo. He said it was the smart, responsible thing to do. I’m not crazy about taking it (I’ll probably lose my hair and be sick), but I guess it’s best not to take a chance that I’m not having a “spontaneous remission.”
Neil was real quiet through the whole discussion. But right after Dr. Thomas finished with his explanations, Neil says, “ ‘Spontaneous remissions’—in my day we called them miracles.” It made me laugh, and, of course, think of you and Rebekah. It also made everybody in the room relax a little.
Anyway Dr. Thomas agreed that there were some things science couldn’t explain. Whether we call it a spontaneous remission or a miracle doesn’t matter to me. All I know is that I still have my leg. And in spite of having to go through chemo, I have a good feeling about this, Charity. You might even say I have faith. Maybe your prayers for me helped after all.
Which brings me to the part Gabriella may have played in all of this. Only Rebekah and I ever saw her. But she did exist. Emily’s diary is proof enough for me. Molly can’t understand how it could have been in the library all these years and nobody ever found it. It’s a real mystery, and only Gabriella knows the answer.
Speaking of books, did I mention that I got my own Bible for Christmas? I’ve been doing a lot of reading in it, especially about angels. I keep thinking of all the things you told me about them the night we decorated the Christmas tree, and so-o-o, I’m going to tell you something that may make you think I’ve gone nuts. Charity, I think that Gabriella might be an angel. That would explain so many things about her. The way she seemed to appear and disappear. The way I felt so peaceful the last night I saw her. She may even be responsible for the craziness with my X rays! I honestly can’t find another way to explain the things that have happened. But you’re smarter about these things, what do you think?
Anyway, I do know that you and Rebekah and Ethan are angels too. Earth angels who came into my life when I needed a miracle! Thanks for your friendship. Please keep writing and tell Rebekah that if she ever sees Gabriella again, she should throw a net over her. I have a hundred questions I want to ask her.
Dear Reader,
Would you do me a favor? Would you lend this book to a friend? I get so many letters from young people saying they love to share my books with their friends, and I like knowing that my stories are being read by as many people as possible—people like the reader who wrote, “I cry when I read your books, but I love them. They make me realize that life isn’t always ‘happily ever after.’ ”
If you enjoyed this story, why not share your experience with a friend by passing this book along? My publishers think this request is important enough to leave a blank page where you can write a private note to your friend when you pass along the book. They think others will feel inspired when they read about people facing life-and-death experiences with courage and hope. Maybe you can tell your friend why you like this book and why you think she should read it. And if you just can’t stand to part with your copy, you can tear out the book list (which is on the other side of the blank page) to give to a friend.
I love writing books. I love knowing that kids enjoy reading my books. And I love knowing they’re sharing my books with their friends. Thank you for your loyalty. And keep reading!
Best wishes,
You’ll want to read these inspiring novels by
Lurlene McDaniel
ONE LAST WISH NOVELS:
Mourning Song
A Time to Die
Mother, Help Me Live
Someone Dies, Someone Lives
Sixteen and Dying
Let Him Live
The Legacy: Making Wishes Come True
Please Don’t Die
She Died Too Young
All the Days of Her Life
A Season for Goodbye
THE DAWN ROCHELLE QUARTET:
Six Months to Live
I Want to Live
So Much to Live For
No Time to Cry
OTHER NOVELS BY LURLENE MCDANIEL:
Angels Watching Over Me
I’ll Be Seeing You
Saving Jessica
Don’t Die, My Love
Too Young to Die
Goodbye Doesn’t Mean Forever
Somewhere Between Life and Death
Time to Let Go
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
When Happily Ever After Ends
Baby Alicia Is Dying
From every ending comes a new beginning.…
Lurlene McDaniel, Angels Watching Over Me
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