“What?”
“It’s the first thing I grabbed in my purse.”
He chuckled, even as his own ego bumped up against the pride he felt for what she’d done. But every single time he looked at the bandage above her eye he flashed back to her and his mother stumbling out of the trailer like two drunken sailors, both looking like they’d just been in a bar brawl.
The reality of what had happened had been worse, though not nearly as bad as it could have been.
But she’d handled herself.
At the very small smile that crossed his lips, Jade cocked her head. “What?”
“You kicked his ass.”
A small smile of her own crossed her lips. “Well, not quite his ass.”
Dell let out a low laugh. “You did what you had to do.”
“I did, didn’t I?” She shook her head. “It seems like a dream now. I was terrified at the time. And pissed off. So pissed off. I mean if he’d waited a few minutes before he’d come in, you could have done all the ass kicking.”
Reaching across the console, he stroked a finger above the bandage. “I’m proud of you, Jade.”
Her eyes went a little shiny, and she took a moment to answer. When she did, her voice was soft and husky, telling him how much his words meant. “I’m a little proud of me, too. I faced my biggest nightmare and beat it down.”
“You ever going to tell me about that nightmare?” he asked, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, ducking down a little to maintain eye contract when she tried to look away.
“It’s over and done,” she said. “It’s all in the past.”
“Not when you’re still letting it affect you here and now, it’s not.”
She stared stubbornly out the window, the set of her jaw telling him she was done talking.
“Jade—”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“Because you’re leaving?”
That startled her into looking at him. “No.” When he lifted a brow, she sighed. “Maybe I’m just tired of it having such power over me.”
“Then stop giving it that power,” he said. “You’ve never told anyone about it. You’re hoarding it, storing it up, letting it eat at you.”
“Not today. Today I made Robby eat it.”
“Yeah, and you did great. But—”
“Dell.” She rubbed her temples. “I don’t want to do this.”
With him. Right. He nodded, trying not to react to that even though he felt kicked in the teeth. “Okay, let’s get you back to your loft so you can rest, then.” He unhooked his seat belt and got out of the truck, moving around to physically extract her from the car if he had to.
Adam came out of the house but Dell shook his head and Adam stopped on the porch. Dell opened the passenger door for Jade, reaching down to help her.
“I’m fine.”
“I need you to cooperate on this,” he said.
“You need me to cooperate? Dell, you never need anything, and you don’t need this. I’m fine.”
He drew a deep breath. She wasn’t going to do as he asked. Of course not. Because if he looked her up in the dictionary, she’d be there under STUBBORN.
And he’d be right next to her. “I need you to rest. The doctor said—”
“Wow.” She leaned back against his truck and crossed her arms. “Look at you throwing around that need word. The next thing you know, you’ll be telling me how you feel.”
He stared at her incredulously. “You think I don’t feel?”
“Dell, the only time I have even an inkling of what you’re feeling is if your tongue is down my throat.”
“What? That’s crazy.”
“Oh, really. It’s crazy.” She tossed up her hands. “Then tell me. Tell me right now. How do you feel?”
“About what?”
“Anything. You pick.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Is this a trick?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Okay.” He searched his brain. “I feel . . . angry over what happened to you. I should have been there, right there. I brought you and put you in danger—”
“We both know I pretty much forced you to bring me,” she said dryly. “And please. Alpha male aside, I know damn well you must have other feelings than anger.”
“Okay . . .” He tried to access one. “I’m hungry.”
“You’re what?”
“Hungry. I haven’t eaten since last night and—”
Jade pushed off his truck and headed to her car.
Confused, he followed her, ignoring Adam’s smirk. “See, it was a trap. You’re mad because I didn’t come up with whatever it is you wanted to hear.”
Jade tossed her purse into the car before straightening and facing Dell. “Tell me one thing, Dell. The women you’ve dated. What’s their biggest complaint about you?”
“That I don’t . . .” He broke off.
She lifted a brow.
“Engage. I don’t engage my emotions with them.” He grimaced. “You wanted to know how I feel about you.”
She didn’t answer and he sighed. “Jade, I’m not good at this. It’s why I don’t do relationships.”
“Getting that. Gotta go,” she repeated.
Her eyes, Christ. They were suspiciously bright. The pulse at the base of her neck beat as frantic as a hummingbird. “I’m driving you,” he said.
“Not necessary.” She flashed him a forced smile, slid behind the wheel, and pulled out.
Adam came up to Dell. “She okay to drive?”
“Yes,” Dell said, and it was true. She was okay. Much more okay than him.
Her car vanished down the street before Adam spoke again. “So you let her get attacked by some punk-ass with a knife? How the fuck did that happen?”
Dell shook his head. “Mom had the knife. The punk-ass took it from her.”
“And Nila?” Adam didn’t like to call Nila “Mom.” He didn’t like to call her anything. But he betrayed his concern when he asked, “She get hurt?”
“There was a scuffle. She got hit with a mug of hot coffee and suffered some second-degree burns on her stomach and chest, but she’s okay.”
“Jesus,” Adam said.
“Yeah.” Dell turned toward the truck, made a detour, and punched the closest tree.
Pain sang up his hand, wrist and arm.
“Well, that was stupid,” Adam said. “You break it?”
“No.” Dell opened and closed his hand carefully, and winced. Probably not, anyway . . .
“Feel better?” Adam asked.
“No.”
“So she really schooled you on that feeling thing, huh?” Adam said.
Dell wished he hadn’t punched the tree so he could punch Adam. “Shut up.”
“Why? Because you know she’s right?”
“Right about what?”
“That you don’t do need. And you don’t feel.”
Fuck the fact that his hand hurt like a son of a bitch, he was going to hit Adam, anyway. “You know that’s not true.”
Adam nodded. “Yeah. But I’m just your sorry-ass brother. I don’t give a shit if you show your feelings or not. She’s the one who needs to know.”
Dell stared at him. “What, are you Dr. Phil all of a sudden? You, who haven’t looked at a woman since you got back from your last mission? What the fuck, man? Why don’t you worry about your own love life, or lack thereof?”
Adam shrugged. “Fucking with you is more fun.”
Dell stalked to his truck, shoulder-checking Adam hard as he did.
Adam let that go, which was just as well.
Because yeah, Dell had been schooled. Not only that, he was one hypocritical son of a bitch. All this time, all these months, he’d been so proud of himself for helping her. For giving her a job. For being there for her. For boosting the confidence that had grown inside her. For showing her how to face her demons and keeping her safe.
He’d actually thought that he’d been saving her.
>
Instead, he’d had it all ass-backward. She’d been there for him. She’d supported him, she’d made him look at himself differently, changing what he’d thought he’d wanted out of life. It used to be enough for him to have Belle Haven, to have just Adam, and Brady and Lilah. He didn’t need more.
But that was no longer the case. Now when he went to sleep at night, he lay there wondering what Jade was doing and why she wasn’t in his bed.
He didn’t want to be alone anymore.
“Man, you’re going to have to get over yourself,” Adam said.
“You get over yourself.”
Adam snorted. “That the best you’ve got? Why don’t you just go after her, dumbass?”
“Thursday is her last day.”
Adam rubbed a hand over his jaw. “Well, damned if that didn’t sneak up on us.”
Dell looked down the road where Jade’s car had vanished. “Yeah.”
That night on the drive home from work, Jade quickly realized the weather had taken a left turn directly into winter. She hadn’t turned the heat on high enough and the loft had a chill when she entered. She fed Beans and went directly to her laptop and her things-to-do-when-upset list.
Bath.
Candles.
Ice cream.
She combined all three, stripping and sliding into the water.
Beans sat on the mat, well out of the reach of any possible stray water drops, cleaning behind her ears.
Jade was halfway through the ice cream when her cell phone rang.
Jade set her bowl on the edge of the tub and gingerly leaned over to the sink counter where her phone sat. It was Lilah. “Hey,” she said. “I’m in the bath so—”
“You okay?”
Jade eyed the phone warily. “Why?”
“Just wondering.”
Jade sighed. “Dell or Adam called and asked you to check up on me.”
There was a guilty pause followed by a guilty laugh. “I know you said no good-bye party, but how about we go out for a drink?”
“Already there,” Jade said. She’d added a glass of wine to her pity party and it was nearly gone. Someone knocked at her door and she went still. “Wait—are you here?”
“No, but I can be.”
“Lilah, I’m fine.” She stood in the tub and accidentally splashed Beans, who sent her a reproachful look. “Which of them called you, Lilah?”
“Oh God. Don’t make me tell you that.”
“I just want to know who’s knocking at my door at”—she looked at her watch, also on the counter—“ten o’ clock at night.”
“Honey, you don’t need me to tell you who’s on your doorstep.”
Jade’s stomach clenched. Too much ice cream. “It could be Adam.”
Lilah laughed. “And the Tooth Fairy is coming by later, too. Look, we both know who’s at the door. Answer it. Talk to him. He’s worried about you.”
“I’m in the bath.”
“Naked?”
“Well, that is my usual preference for bathing.”
“One of us has to see you tonight, Jade,” Lilah said. “It might as well be the one of us who’s falling in love with you.”
Jade went still, then jerked at the second knock on her front door. More water splashed over the sides of the tub and Beans trotted out of the room in self-defense this time.
“Jade?” Lilah asked. “You still there?”
“Dell’s not falling for anyone, Lilah. He’s a serial dater and doesn’t believe in relationships.”
“He hasn’t had a real date in months. And don’t look now, but he’s got plenty of relationships in his life. Adam, Brady, me, his mother—though he’d deny that to his dying day, the stubborn ass—and . . . you.”
There was a third knock, not nearly as patient as the first two. “Dammit, I gotta go. I’ll deal with you later.” Still dripping wet, she wrapped herself up in her bathrobe and gave herself the quick once-over in the mirror. No makeup, hair a mess—hell, who was she kidding? Her entire being was a mess. With a sigh, she moved through the loft to the door. Maybe he’d left, maybe . . .
“Jade, open up.”
“I’m fine. I told you I was fine.”
“Okay. Great. I’m not.”
Letting out a breath, she undid the security chain, unbolted the door, then pulled it open.
Dell’s hands were braced high on the doorjamb. His head was bowed, and when he lifted it, his eyes trailed up from her bare feet and legs to the robe that clung to her, heating her skin inch by slow inch. By the time his gaze met hers, his eyes were dark, filled with an emotion somewhere between possession, protection, and lust. “Invite me in, Jade.”
He wasn’t even going to try to sweet-talk his way in. He wanted her to invite him.
And that wasn’t all he wanted. He wanted some answers, too. She knew this. Just as she knew she hadn’t been able to give anyone those answers in all this time. But maybe . . . maybe that was the problem. God knew, keeping it in wasn’t working for her.
Maybe it was time to try something new.
So she drew in some air and stepped back. He didn’t move, just stayed in that position, arms up, eyes stark, expression bare.
Waiting.
“I want you to come in,” she said.
He dropped his arms and ignored the space she’d made, stepping into her, pushing them both into her place and shutting the door behind him.
Twenty-three
Dell followed Jade into her kitchen, trying like hell not to notice that her white fluffy robe was sticking to her obviously wet body. Water dripped from her hair and her legs, and her feet squeaked on the tile floor. He was here for a reason, but that reason was fuzzy now that he had her in sight, all dewy fresh, no makeup, smelling like some complicated mix of sweet, sexy woman. “Jade.”