Read Apocalypstick Page 4


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  I woke up early the next morning, at least I hoped it was the next morning, ate some scrambled eggs and a dry muffin at the buffet, and climbed into the van. At around seven o’clock, I found myself back at the quarry. I stood on the edge again, looking down, but with the sun still low on the horizon, the pit looked like a dark, bottomless hole.

  I sat down and dangled my legs over the side. My leg burned, my body ached, and I just wanted to go home. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what David and Shelia were doing, but I couldn’t concentrate.

  Forcing the pain out of my mind, I remembered the feeling of David’s soft cashmere jacket. It took me back to the moment when I opened that closet and saw the treasures of their normal life. It was like I was back in the foyer.

  “No,” David’s voice says from the kitchen. “She’s not out there. Poor girl. What could have gotten into her? She just went crazy. I hope it’s not distemper, or something.”

  Shelia comes down the stairs wearing grey running shorts and a tight pink shirt. “She’s had her shots. I’m going to jog around the neighborhood and look for her. Can you make a couple of passes on your way to work?”

  David hugs her. “Yeah, I have a meeting with the concrete guys at ten, but I should still have enough time to prepare. Don’t worry. She’s a smart dog. She’ll probably find us before we find her.”

  Shelia nods, but doesn’t look convinced. “Good luck today,” she says.

  “You, too,” he says back. He kisses her goodbye and goes out through the garage.

  He backs the truck down to the street and starts driving slowly around the block. I wondered why he wasn’t going to the quarry. It was a perfect place for a run-away dog to go. There might even be someone there who could help find her. David thinks so too. He turns the truck around and leaves the neighborhood.

  A few minutes later, I heard his wheels grinding down the gravel road. He stopped next to the van and walked over to me.

  “Morning,” he said.

  I looked over my shoulder at him, still sitting on the edge. “Hi,” I said with a little wave.

  “Are you alright, Pal?”

  Did he really care if I was alright?

  “My leg hurts,” I said.

  “Here, let me help you up. Can you stand?”

  I nodded, and he pulled me to my feet. It was nice of him. He was very handsome in person. He smelled good, too. Not perfumy, but nice in a manly way.

  “I’m looking for my dog. She’s about fifteen pounds, brown curly hair. You haven’t seen her, have you?”

  I smiled and nodded. David seemed like a really nice person. He was just the sort of person I wished I could be.

  “Shirley’s down there,” I said, pointing to the bottom of the quarry. “I’ve been watching her.”

  “Oh, that’s such a relief,” he sighed. “It’s weird, you know? I just knew I’d find her here.” He stepped up next to me and scanned the dark pit for Shirley, but after a couple of seconds, he took a sideways step away, and turned to face me.

  “I didn’t say her name, friend,” he said, suddenly very serious. He looked back at the van, and I knew he recognized it. “You were outside my house yesterday. What are you doing here with my dog, and how do you know her name?”

  I bowed my head. He was so nice a minute ago, now he was really mad. Why did nice people always get so mad at me? Why couldn’t we ever be friends? I closed my eyes, and pictured Shirley running around at the bottom of the quarry, barking.

  David looked down, but didn’t see her yet. My foggy head made it hard to picture her. My whole body was starting to ache. I must have been getting a fever.

  “Now what are you going to do?”

  It was my other voice again.

  “Go away,” I said.

  David must have thought I was talking to him. “I am going to get my dog,” he said. “You better be gone when I get back up here, and pray that I never see you again.”

  “You can’t do anything right. I’m going to have to clean this up, too, aren’t I?” My other voice said.

  “No. I’ll do it. Just leave me alone. Go away!”

  “Hurry! Push him in!” my other voice said. “Bah! I’ll do it!”

  “I don’t need your help! Go away!” I was yelling again.

  David grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away from the edge, but my other voice took over.

  When I woke up, I was on the edge of the cliff again, and David’s broken body was sprawled on its back at the bottom of the quarry.

  “Look what you’ve done, now,” my other voice said, “I hope you’re happy.”

  “Ow! OW! Whass happened?” I asked, but my other voice was silent. My leg hurt worse than ever, my top lip was split open, and my nose was bleeding. My tongue probed through a gap in my teeth to touch my torn lip. Dammit! I was missing a tooth. No, two teeth! Right in front, in the middle of my smile. I staggered back from the precipice once more, and shambled over to my van, but…

  David’s truck was still running, and it was much nicer than my new van, so I climbed in. It was probably time for new car, anyway. I adjusted the mirror, catching a glimpse of my small black eyes in my chubby face, beneath my straight, oily bangs. I was so surprised not to see David’s smooth face and thick hair, that I punched the mirror, knocking it out of view. Now my hand hurt, too.

  “Don’t like what you see, do you?” my other voice chided.

  “Shut up. You can’t stop me now. I’m going home.”

  “You don’t have a home, and this isn’t your truck. What have you done to deserve this man’s life? He’s the one who worked to build it. People like you don’t get to have a life like his. You are a bad person! You are the monster in the closet. You are the intruder in the steam outside the woman’s shower curtain, hoping for a peak.”

  “That wasn’t me! It was you!” I screamed. “You are the pervert, not me! I just want to be normal!” I punched the mirror again, and again, bloodying my knuckles and knocking it off the windscreen.

  My aching, battered body forced me to calm down and catch my breath. There was a laptop bag next to several cardboard tubes in the back seat. The glove box held some hand sanitizer and Burger King Napkins, and in the center console, I found a bag of peanuts, a big black handgun, and a box of bullets, but no medicine or cigarettes, so I closed it and drove back home.

  Home. I was already starting to think of it like that. Poor Shelia would need a new husband now. I was sure I could come to like her if I could help her overcome her natural, whorish tendencies. I could teach her to be a good, decent woman, and in return, she could have a new husband to love and care for. She could bring me that glass of wine, and ask how my day was.

  I parked in the garage and went inside to tell Shelia the good news, but she wasn’t there. She must have still been jogging around the neighborhood, looking for Shirley.

  I almost forgot about Shirley. It would be nice if she found her way home before Shelia got here. It would be wonderful for Shirley to have a new master; one who wasn’t a moral degenerate. She would be happier with her new master. All would be perfect once she got home.

  I took the cashmere jacket from the coat closet and ran my hand over the shoulder, admiring it once again. It must have looked nice on David, but it was mine now. I tossed my bloody leather jacket on the floor, and tried it on. The buttons wouldn’t close, and it was tight in the shoulders, but I wore it anyway. I had earned it, and besides, it would comfort Shelia to see me wearing something of David’s.

  A few minutes later, the little brown curly dog was at the back door. I let her in, and found a treat for her in the pantry. I picked the flotsam and jetsam from her hair, and petted her on the big, comfy sofa until she fell asleep on my lap. She perked up, though, when Shelia came panting through the door.

  “David?” she called. “What are you doing back? Did you find Shirley? Ugh, where’d this jacket come from? It’s filthy.”

  Shirley barked and jumped down, and ran t
o greet Shelia with a happily wagging tail.

  “This won’t work. She’ll hate you. You aren’t her husband.” It was my other voice trying to sabotage my new life, but I wasn’t going to let him. Not this time.

  Shelia screamed when she saw me on our couch, but I knew she would come to see me just as she saw David. With patience, I would teach her to be a good wife, and maybe even a good woman. I was home at last, just like I imagined.

  The End