Chapter 8
No-one was happier to leave Scotland and return to the Palace than Jeff who'd received a number of angry texts from Ursula over the trek's five days. She made it very clear she was not happy about him being away. What Jeff didn't understand about Ursula baffled many a male, how she was with him but wanted to change the most important thing about him, his job.
Crystal who had left the camp with cheery waves and a sigh of relief, was delighted to be back in the land of nightclubs and friends.
Jeff had several days off before their departure on Crystal's gap year but as it drew nearer his feelings were mixed. He hadn't travelled a great deal so the idea of going to New Zealand, their first point of call, and then onwards for about six months, was enticing. However, Jeff had a problem: the lovely Ursula. She was beautiful and talented, but regrettably, high maintenance. She would not take the news of his imminent departure well.
'That's putting it mildly,' he thought, 'She's going to have a meltdown. Me taking off for six months to the other side of the world is not what she's expecting right now.'
Ursula liked him in town, in the flat and particularly in her bed.
'The problem is,' he thought, 'After you live with them for even a short while most women expect commitment, and I think Urusla is one of them. Why are they always ready before we are?'
He shook his head, bewildered, as he walked out of the Palace and into the courtyard where he parked his bike. As he put on his helmet he knew his evening wasn't going to be a happy one. But he did make one decision: he would honour his commitment to Her Majesty. He would not let her down. The trip and his duty looking after Crystal was on.
Crystal was in another kind of misery: a dress fitting with Constance, her grandmother's seamstress. The large workroom was buzzing with activity as the dressmakers finished her grandmother's dress for tomorrow's state dinner. It was for the President of somewhere, one of the countries ending in 'stan.' Crystal could never get them straight and didn't care which one it was. As she stood, for what seemed an interminable period on a plinth in four inch heels, her mind wandered off to six days from now when she would get away.
'Queenstown, adventure capital of the world,' she thought, 'To say nothing of a meat market for hot guys.' She was brought back to the present with a jolt as Constance tugged on the hem of her dress,
'Please stand up straight Miss, we can't do the hem if you slouch.'
Crystal sighed which Constance heard. She asked,
'Have you chosen a tiara yet Miss? I assume you're wearing diamonds.'
'Yes, grandmother took me to the vault this morning. I was allowed to choose from the small ones. It's light at least. Those big ones must give you a headache after a while'
'Yes, weight is a consideration when you have to wear it for several hours. Are you wearing a necklace? I only ask as the neckline of your dress would set one off.'
'No, only earrings but they're cool, apparently they belonged to great great grandmother. They're big, with drops.'
Constance smiled, at least she was taking an interest in something. You couldn't ask for more with a girl like Crystal.
Walking into Ursula's flat Jeff braced himself for a storm as he told Ursula about his new posting to Crystal's protection detail. He got it.
What followed created a small ugly history not to be repeated among the sensitive, save to say Jeff ducked several objects thrown at him and heard himself compared to a number of unsavoury and possibly unsanitary items. He bore it for a respectable time and then left,
'That's well and truly over,' he thought. He was surprised that he didn't really care.
On their return to the Palace Archie and Terri had another new experience. The laundry day had been traumatic for Archie and he did not want a repeat in the near future. Happily he was spared another separation from Terri but both of them were perplexed by the morning's activity in Crystal's bedroom.
A short, rather round person of indeterminate gender arrived with two companions and several large aluminium suitcases. When opened, these revealed a plethora of equipment: brushes, combs, hollow, round plastic cylinders, lotions, unguents and treatments which the functionaries arranged on portable stands next to Crystal's dressing table.
Crystal arrived in a long chenille dressing gown and was greeted by all with bows,
'Does that mean they're men?' Terri asked.
'I assume so,' said Archie, 'Women curtsey, don't they?'
There were several reasons for their confusion: eyeliner, lush dark eyelashes that flapped nearly to their cheeks, foundation makeup and a hint of colour on pouty lips. The earrings were studs on the companions, a large pearl drop on the right ear of their leader who wore tight gold trousers with a long red satin tail coat. A lilac paisley scarf was wrapped around the neck of a pale lemon ruffled shirt, its buttons open to the waist exposing a hairless flat chest. Red nail polish, 'To match the coat?' Terri wondered, completed the look. Except for the shoes.
'How does it walk in those?' Archie wondered.
'Downhill,' said a goggle eyed Terri.
For the next three hours the team worked on Crystal. She was transformed. Her long rather mousy hair shimmered with honey highlights and was arranged in a smooth chignon at the back of her head. A coil of diamonds,
'It's a tiara, my love,' Terri informed Archie, 'And a very pretty floral design,' was placed within the hair and carefully pinned. It took an age. Archie despaired,
'Doesn't it hurt? Sticking those things into her head?'
'I suppose so, but look at the result.'
Archie had to agree, Crystal looked, at last, like a princess. The functionaries had been filing, buffing and painting her nails in pale peach. As the leader said,
'Gorgeous,' and stepped away, fanning itself with a large handkerchief, they went to work on her face. Sandwiches and tea were served by a maid. Another hour passed with an obviously wilting Crystal longing for it to be over.
Finally and with many
'Goodbye darlings,' they repacked the suitcases and left. The room was quiet and Crystal threw herself into an armchair, grabbing a sandwich from the plate.
'I'm exhausted and we haven't started yet.' she said to herself. Jessie arrived with soft drink and cake,
'Sugar is what you need miss. That lot would exhaust anyone.'
A small nod was all Crystal could manage. She still had to get through the evening.
Grandmother's big dinner with tiaras and fluffy hair looked to be as stuffy as Crystal had expected. The whole family of chinless cousins and colourless uncles and aunts were there.
She wore the dress created by Constance which she did like and the heirloom earrings, large diamond drops that swung in her ears and sparkled in the light of the Palace's many chandeliers.
As the family waited to enter the state dining room, Crystal's grandmother, resplendent in a silver on white evening gown, massive necklace, tiara, diamond bracelets and chandelier earrings that made Crystal's look small, surprised her,
'My dear, you look lovely. The tiara is just right. Tonight you're sitting with someone I hope you might like. Let me know what you think later.'
Crystal's idea of someone she might like and her grandmother's had, to date, been so far apart they might as well have been in separate galaxies. A number of alien like creatures had been proffered for her approval and rejected. In light of her previous experience it was unlikely, Crystal thought, that her grandmother would produce anything remotely acceptable now.
As the family and the principal guests entered in a procession the assembled company of two hundred stood, jewels and medals throwing shards of light into the air. As she walked to her seat to the left of the table, several places from her grandmother, Crystal was surprised. Her dinner companion was quite tall, very slim and blonde with green eyes that fixed on hers as she took her seat. His skin was very smooth and pale with no hint of a beard. In short, he was hot.
This was a new experience and an enjoy
able one given some measure of baby fat still clung to Crystal, due no doubt to all that chocolate, and the swan within had not yet taken on its final plumage. That was to come, and soon. They sat and the evening was a blur to Crystal, filled as it was with the presence of someone who took the trouble to make her laugh. Her report to her grandmother was favourable.
'Good,' she said. 'We will see him again.'
Of that Crystal was sure. He'd quietly entered her number into his phone between the entree and the main course.