“Wait. W-wait. What?” Incoherent, yep. He’d given me absolutely no sign. Emotionally, sexually, he had been like the Mojave. “When?”
“Eat your soup before it gets cold. I’ll tell you more later.”
“Are you kidding? No. You can’t drop that on me and then—”
“Sure I can. Otherwise I’ll take you home after lunch and we won’t talk again until tomorrow.” He smirked.
“That’s blackmail. I’m starting to think you’re kind of evil.”
“I can live with that.”
With a frustrated snarl, I ate my soup. Then the bastard made me chew through a delicious plate of shrimp and grits while we talked innocently about stuff we planned to do later in terms of home renovation, like I wasn’t seething. Rob appeared to be enjoying it, too. I’d never known he could be such a sadist. Did this mean he’d want to tie me up and paddle me?
Hope not. Given his worries about my daddy issues, that might get weird.
I was eating salted dark chocolate fudge with a tiny fork when he said, “So you want to hear the story?”
“Most definitely.”
“Let me set the stage. You were just turning eighteen, still in high school. Which makes me a perv, I’m aware.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t count since you didn’t hit on me.”
“I try not to be creepy, it’s one of my life goals.”
“So far, you’re succeeding. Fudge?”
He took the bite from my fork, and I couldn’t help but recall all of the manga I’d read, where girls went crazy over the indirect kiss. Deliberately I licked the fork when I brought it back to my mouth, and he seemed to forget to speak. It took a full minute of him watching me eat before he resumed the narrative.
“You and Nadia were in her room, getting ready for some party. I could hear you upstairs, laughing, but back then, we never hung out.”
“Yeah, Nadia was very much ‘your world, my world, let’s not cross dimensions.’”
Rob nodded. “I was watching TV with my dad when you came down wearing a red dress and suddenly, you were all oomph and bam.”
“I remember that dress. Still have it, I think.”
“That night, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. It sucked when I realized you were headed out to hook up with some high school assholes.”
“There was no joy in Mudville for me that night. Nadia got drunk and locked herself in the bathroom because her dipshit boyfriend was making out with somebody else in the garage.”
“If I’d known, I’d have beat the shit out of him.”
I smiled to take the sting out of my reply. “That’s why we didn’t confide in you more.”
“Anyway, that’s it, not much of a story, huh? Before, you were the sweet kid who hung around the house and stared at me a lot.”
“And after?”
“Honestly?”
“Please.” Fixing my gaze on his face, I watched the sheepish smile widen.
“I wondered what you looked like naked. A lot. Felt like a deviant, too. Because there’s a certain kind of guy who’s attracted to high school girls in his twenties, and I definitely didn’t want to be one of those. But I’d still think about asking you out and then remember you were my sister’s friend, and how awkward would that be, plus you were still in school, and I knew you wouldn’t be sticking around past graduation.” He hesitated, as if I might yell at him again for what came next. “And I knew you were too smart to be drawn in by physical stuff or the fact that I played football, so I figured—”
“It was best not to make a move.”
Rob nodded. “At the time, it was the only play I could make.”
“Or not make,” I murmured. “You never let on at all. I never guessed.”
“Yeah, well. I learned early on not to show people how they’re making me feel. Otherwise I’d always be the dumb kid crying in a corner.”
“You’re not like that with me anymore,” I realized aloud.
“I trust you,” he said softly.
I melted around a mouthful of fudge. At his gesture, I fed him another bite of the shared dessert, imagined what it would taste like on his lips. Hot, sweet, slightly bitter, sharp with salt, rich as sin. In the not-too-distant future, I might be kissing Robert Clayton Conrad. Back in the day, I wrote his full name on my notebooks a lot, always on the inside, where Nadia wouldn’t find it and tease me.
This should make him laugh, plus it would show I trusted him, too. “You know, I always thought you had a kingly name. I have a folder on my computer devoted to your fantasy adventures, like three hundred thousand words, all terrible.”
Finally, I’d succeeded in startling the ever imperturbable Rob. “What?”
“You heard me. In the world of Nebaskalan, your evil uncle stole your throne and left you for dead. But with the help of your talking horse, you swashed a lot of buckles, slew dragons, restored your kingdom to prosperity and won your lady love.”
“Did I now? Was her name Lauren by any chance?”
God, I’d let him read those god-awful fanfics if they’d make him smile like this. “Please. Laurenara, that’s completely different. She’s a gorgeous, irresistible sorceress with red hair and purple eyes who can turn people into mist, superhandy for breaking into castles occupied by villainous relations.”
“Seriously, I can’t rest until you’ve shown these to me. Do the stories have titles?”
“Book one is The Fallen Crown, book two is The Weeping Throne and book three is The Undying King.”
Grinning, I had no idea why he was looking at me like that, until he stood, rounded the table, drew me up out of my chair and kissed me. Sensation careened through me: the hardness of his chest pressed against mine and the roughness of his hand tangled in my hair. I tasted salt and chocolate, heat as promised, more in the hard demand of his mouth and the fleeting sweep of his tongue. I could’ve kissed him forever, except that the waiter almost knocked into us with a tray of plates.
“Maybe this isn’t the place,” I whispered, breathless. “What now?”
“You’ll see.”
CHAPTER NINE
The gravel parking lot was rough, and when I stumbled, Rob swept me into a princess carry. Startled, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Are you serious? You’re completely showing off right now, aren’t you?”
“Maybe a little.” But he didn’t put me down until I was safely ensconced in the truck.
“Admit it, you do not lift everyone in and out. Your ride’s not even that tall.” I could get in unaided; it just wouldn’t be graceful.
“Just you,” he said, starting the engine and adjusting the heater.
“Why?”
“Because I needed an excuse to touch you. I didn’t think you’d suspect me of being anything but overprotective.”
He was right. In my wildest fantasies, I’d never daydreamed about Rob liking me back. For different reasons, we both had confidence issues. Buckling in, I indulged in a happy silent squee as Rob put the truck in Reverse and made a perfect three-point turn to get us facing the right direction. He didn’t say much on the drive to my house, which surprised me a little. Maybe he was already regretting the impulsive kiss?
“So—” I began, as he parked in my driveway.
“Was it okay?” he cut in.
“What?”
“Me kissing you. I guess I should’ve asked first, but you were just being so cute. You didn’t make up the whole thing about the stories, did you?”
Oh. Now I get it.
“Come in.”
This time, I didn’t wait for him to get me down; I just opened the door and hopped out. He followed me to the front door, waiting patiently while I shivered and fumbled with the key. A few seconds later, we stepped inside. Since it was late
afternoon, my mom would be home in an hour or so, but for now, the house was empty. The front door led into the living room, cozily decorated with my mother’s various arts-and-crafts projects. She’d always enjoyed finding things at antique stories, kitschy character pieces that added color to the room. Consequently, our house was more shabby than chic since she didn’t have the knack of bringing old things back to life. If I spent enough time with Rob, though, I might change that.
“My room’s upstairs.” A prickle of excitement crept through me, ridiculous as it might be. I had no plans to sleep with him right then yet it was enticing to lead him to my bedroom.
“I remember.”
He’s been here before. He delivered and set up your bed.
But the kiss changed everything.
“Give me a minute.”
“No problem.” There was something off in his demeanor, a change I couldn’t put my finger on. I was better at reading him, but he didn’t come with a translation guide or a manual.
Sighing, I went into my small walk-in closet and changed into yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Thick socks completed my ensemble—not sexy, but perfect for working on the house. Assuming he still wants me there. I stepped out to find him perched at the edge of my bed, looking at a ballerina figurine my mom bought me when I was ten.
“All right, before I break out any volumes of Rob-homage, tell me what’s going on.”
“What makes you think anything is?”
“We had a fantastic time at lunch. Then you kissed me. After that, you shut down like Sharon at ten p.m. on a Tuesday night.”
“I’m not sure if I like you having the keys to the kingdom, so to speak.” But he was smiling a little, proof he didn’t mind too much. “I just...I timed it wrong, that’s all. It should’ve been special, and instead, we almost got hot soup dumped on our heads.”
Oh. “I can’t speak for other women, but I prefer being kissed because you want to so bad you can’t help it. All the orchestration and polish in the world can’t compensate for lack of passion. I’d be bummed if you could’ve stopped yourself. That’d mean you don’t want me as...” I trailed off, deciding not to reveal that much.
“What?” There was a soft, vulnerable look in his eyes. He was never this open, even around his own family.
I mustered the nerve to say, “As much as I want you.”
“So you don’t mind that I fumbled our first kiss?”
“That wasn’t a fumble. I’m calling a moratorium on you doubting yourself, Rob.”
His gaze went flat. “Yeah, I don’t know what that means.”
Shit, I hadn’t meant to make him feel stupid. “It’s like a suspension, I’m saying enough. Anyway, it seems like you’re freaking out and looking for reasons to pick a fight. Maybe you wish you didn’t—”
“No. I’m just...worried,” he said quietly.
“About what?”
“Whether this is a good idea.”
Since I’d suspected it might not be, I couldn’t blame him. But I no longer wanted to ride the brake, now that I knew I wasn’t stuck in an unrequited attraction. It was time to chase after what I wanted, the guy I’d longed for as long as I could remember.
“Nobody ever knows that before they start dating someone.” I was making a leap, assuming he wanted to steer me toward girlfriend territory.
For all I knew, maybe he just wanted to sleep with me while I was helping with the house. I probably wouldn’t say no; it wouldn’t be the first time I’d banged a guy as a discovery exercise. There had even been a couple that I considered as relationship material, but in all honesty, Rob was always there in the back of my head. If it didn’t work out between us, maybe sex would get him out of my system.
“That’s true.”
“But look, if you’re uncomfortable or unsure, we can pretend it didn’t happen.” That offer nearly choked me on the way out. But I meant it. “You just broke up with someone. Maybe that’s why you’re backing off.”
“I’m afraid you’ll get bored.” He spoke the words while turning the ballerina statuette over in his hands, carefully not looking at me.
“You didn’t worry about that with Avery?”
“Not really. I would’ve needed to care more. With her, it was about trying to improve myself. I didn’t feel much of anything, but then, she never noticed.”
Wow.
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I won’t push you into anything.” Turning away, I headed back into my closet, hoping it didn’t show how crushed I was. Like, I could curl into a ball and cry. One lunch, one kiss and he’s done? It wasn’t even a long kiss.
Two minutes of rummaging later, and I produced the epic works of genius, as promised. Sure, I had the files on my computer, but that wasn’t enough for a true fan. My stories were all printed and collected in three-ring binders. God, the hours I collated paper and slaved with a hole punch to make Rob’s fantasy adventures look more official.
“Wow, you were serious,” he said as I handed him the stack.
“I don’t joke about fanfic.”
Smiling, he paged through the first volume, fast enough that I didn’t think he was reading. “Nobody’s ever cast me as regal before.”
“I was thirteen and reading a lot of sword-and-sorcery books.”
“Tell me I get to use a magic sword.”
“Obviously.” After flipping pages, I pointed to a particular scene. “This is where you defeat an evil wizard and liberate all of his stolen artifacts. You return most of them, but with a few items, the original owners are dead. Which is how you end up wielding Daystar.”
“See, this is why I kissed you. Your cuteness is fucking irresistible right now, Lauren.”
I smiled at him. “Yet here you are, resisting. Cut it out, Superman.”
“I’m starting to think it’s one of my dumber ideas.” He leaned in, threading his hand in my hair, and cupped the back of my head.
I closed my eyes.
This time, he felt different, more measured and deliberate, as if he’d considered the implications. Heat spilled through me from the delicate play of his lips across mine. For the first few seconds, his mouth was all candied curiosity, and then I wrapped my arms around him. Rob made a muffled sound and hauled me onto his lap, his other arm coming around me in a possessive movement, and the tenor of the kiss changed.
Hot and rough, sparks of sweetness interspersed with nips of teeth, and the thrust of his tongue. Breaking contact with a gasp, Rob fell back on my bed, intentionally, I thought, and when I followed, he rolled me beneath him. My whole body quivered. His weight pressed me into the mattress, but I only shifted to perfect our fit, and then I drew him down again.
He didn’t stop at my lips. His mouth traveled along my jaw, my ears, down my throat and back up for the most scorching kisses yet. He was molten in my arms, all hard muscle and barely leashed sex. Rob shifted once, twice, until I opened my legs a little. A quiet moan escaped me. If this was a mere preview, the sex would be amazing. He exhaled into my mouth and I breathed it in, tasted him in turn, until he was shaking, and each kiss felt deeper, hungrier, with an edge of wildness to every brush of his hands.
“God, you feel good,” he whispered.
“Mhm.” I dug my fingers into his deltoids, urging him on.
With a groan, he rolled off me. “If we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I just don’t want you to feel like we rushed into anything.”
“You do understand that women suffer from sexual frustration too, right?” If he insisted, I could take care of it myself, but that seemed like a waste. But talking was never a bad thing, especially if it resulted in better understanding.
“I know that. Damn. I just...” He cursed, jaw clenching. “Jesus, I want y
ou so bad.”
“It’s sweet of you to be concerned, but I’m not the kind of person who regrets sex.” I wondered what he’d think if I told him that I was drunk when I slept with my roommate, and I’d done it mostly to prove a point. Yet that didn’t make me bad or stupid. Even if I did it for depressing reasons, the sex was good, and we were careful. “Basically, I don’t think pleasure between two consenting adults is ever shameful.”
He grinned at me. “You’re such a hippie. I suspect you’re trying to seduce me, but it won’t work.”
“Why not?” Yeah, I totally sounded disappointed.
“Because I’m not exactly prepared to finish this right now.”
“Oh, protection.” How cute, Rob was the kind of guy who used euphemisms. I guessed that meant he wasn’t a dirty talker. Hopefully he didn’t have hang-ups about what good girls did or didn’t do in bed. Though going without a condom wouldn’t be impossible since I was on birth control, we didn’t have time to fuck properly. “There are other things we could do.”
A zing of lightning went straight through me at the way his gaze sharpened. “You are...incredible. Shouldn’t you make sure I intend to date you before we go down this road?”
I shook my head. “My self-respect isn’t tied to that, Rob. So you either want to fool around or you don’t. No strings.”
The smile he offered me was...radiant, no other word for it. You’d think no woman had ever messed around without tying it to other expectations. And hell, maybe that was the case. I didn’t care if this was a politic move, mostly because I didn’t see relationships in that light; sex shouldn’t be a leash to keep a guy in line or a choke chain that made him obey.
“Hell, yes,” he said huskily.