“What are you doing here, Opie?”
Her voice was strained, scratchy in the way one got after screaming or yelling for a long period of time. The entire picture made me frown and had my hackles rising up.
“People are worried about you. I thought I would come check on you and see if I could put their minds at ease.” No way was that happening now. Brite would lose his ever-loving mind if he saw his only child in this condition. “The druggie boyfriend do that to you?”
I crossed my arms over my chest to show her I wasn’t going anywhere in a hurry and she pulled the door open another inch. Her bottom lip was split open and it took every ounce of self-control I had not to tense up in rage when I saw the black-and-blue marks that ringed her neck like some kind of horrific necklace.
Avett moved several strands of faded pink hair out of her face and adopted a pose very similar to my own. Even bruised and battered, she was still a defiant little thing, and I had to admire her spark even if it was firing in all the wrong ways.
“I haven’t seen him in a few weeks. He said he was in trouble and took off right after I gave him the money I took from the bar. This is from the guys that came looking for him. Apparently he’s in bigger trouble than he led me to believe. They thought I was lying when I told them I didn’t know where Jared was. This”—she pointed a finger at her battered face—“was their way of persuading me to tell them the truth about his whereabouts.”
Her raspy voice wobbled and a chill slid up my spine. I knew all about how bad men tried to use the people in other bad men’s lives to try and get information. I would bet all my meager belongings that what I could see was only half of what she had been forced to endure while trying to protect her useless man.
“Why are you still here, Avett? Go home. Let your dad take care of you, let your family help you out. Where do you think this road you’re on is going?”
Ayden had taken a few steps back toward the door and Avett shifted her gaze to my sister as she quietly told her, “This road ends up with you hating yourself and walking away from people that love you. It dead-ends with you sitting by the bedside of someone you love praying for them to wake up from a life-threatening injury because there’s always more trouble around the corner and eventually it’s going to catch up with you and with them.”
The young woman shook her head and laced her fingers together as she took a step back toward the open doorway. “You don’t understand. Jared isn’t a bad guy. He loves me, he just has a problem. He needs me.”
Ayden and I exchanged a look. We both knew it was impossible to try and help someone that wasn’t willing to help themselves first.
Ayden’s voice was hard when she told the younger woman, “His problems don’t automatically have to be your problems.”
“Rome didn’t press charges, your parents bent over backward to give you a shot at a steady and normal life. I’m here because you remind me just a little bit too much of myself right before everything went to shit. How many chances do you think you get before your luck runs out?” I laughed drily and lifted a hand to rub the back of my neck. “Because let me tell you, when the luck runs out it’s a really scary thing, and what’s waiting for you on the other side isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy.”
She just shook her head again, and shoved her mangled fingers through her hair and whispered, “I love him.”
She gave me a look that let me know the conversation was over and then turned on her heel and disappeared back inside the doorway.
I stood there in silence for a long moment trying to situate how I felt about what had just happened. Feeling helpless to help someone wasn’t something I was used to and I couldn’t say that I cared for it very much. Ayden grabbed my elbow and gave me a little tug to get me moving. She bent her head and rested her cheek on my shoulder.
“That kind of love kills.” Her voice was quiet and I could hear all kinds of memories and fear twisted through it.
“It’s not love.”
Ayden murmured her agreement, and we both fell silent as we got into the car and headed back toward downtown.
“So what are you going to do about her? She can’t just stay in that place while people are looking for her junkie boyfriend and using her as a bargaining chip.” It was all too familiar to my sister and I wished I had refused to let her come with me. She didn’t need any kind of reminder about the way things had been for us back in the day.
“I’m going to talk to Brite and my guess is he’ll go in there and bodily move her out of that crack den. I know he’s frustrated with the choices Avett has been making over the last few years, but there is no way he’s going to sit by and let her purposely put herself in danger over some loser with a drug problem.”
Ayden let her head flop back on the seat and shifted so she could put her boots up on the dash. If the car had been in pristine condition, I would’ve had a fit, but considering it was still a work in progress, I figured I could let it slide.
“Brite might not get a choice in the matter.” I knew she was talking about me and all the trouble that I used to actively bring right to our doorstep. She turned to look at me and I felt my heart along with several pieces of the soul that I thought had long been lost start to fuse back together when she told me softly, “You’re a good man, Asa. You might not see it because you’re so used to looking at the man you were before, but you are right here in front of me and I can see the good shining out of you. The fact I can see it means you should be able to as well.”
I couldn’t say anything to that. There were no words, and even if I’d had them I was too afraid that if I tried to use them it would break this moment, this second that I had been waiting for ever since I had woken up from that coma. I was a good man in Ayden’s eyes, and with her saying that I finally felt forgiveness for all the things I had put her through. I could literally feel some of those bricks made of guilt that barricaded me from everything happening around me start to crumble away.
I was taking her back to Rule and Shaw’s, where she and Jet were staying, and she was going on and on about how cute the new baby was. I asked her if she thought a little one was in the future for her and Jet, which made her laugh. She told me Jet was all about having kids, but considering our upbringing and our less than stellar example of parenting our mom had left us with, she was less eager to bring a new life into the world. She told me that they had agreed to table the discussion until she was finished with school, but I knew my sister and had seen her with Jet. They would be wonderful parents and I bet he’d convince her to have his baby long before she had a degree in her hand.
I was at a stoplight when my phone rang and Royal’s pretty face popped up on the screen. It didn’t bode well for me being able to keep any kind of safety zone between us when I felt my pulse kick and my heart trip just at the sight of her name on my cell.
I swiped a finger across the screen and put the phone up to my ear. “What’s up, Red?” Without very much effort I could still taste her and scotch all hot and earthy on the tip of my tongue, and it made me shift in the driver’s seat while my sister looked at me questioningly out of the corner of her eye.
“What time do you have to work tonight?” It really did something to my insides that she always sounded so happy to talk to me. The fact that I mattered to her was not lost on me. I recognized all of the simple ways she liked to show me.
“I’m supposed to go in around five,” I told her, and she sighed and got quiet on the other end of the line. “Royal, if you need me for something, just ask.”
I heard Ayden snicker next to me and I turned to glare at her.
“My mom asked me to come over to her place for dinner and I know we aren’t really the meet-the-parents kind of couple or anything, but I was really hoping you could come with me. I love her, but she can be exhausting, and she’s been in an unpleasant funk lately. I think she would really enjoy meeting you, not to mention you’re pretty fun to stare at, even when you have clothes on.”
I chuckled. I had met plenty of parents back in the day, but I was usually putting on a show or so deep in a con that it was never actually me that they were getting to know. It was sort of freeing and kind of thrilling to have Royal ask me to spend time with her mother, considering she knew every single one of my faults and failings. Royal had made no secret of the fact she and her mother were extremely tight, so the thought that I actually needed a parent to legitimately like me if I wanted to keep this girl in my life floated around in my head and made my nerves sing.
“I’ll call the new guy and see if he can hang out for a little bit longer until I get there. It shouldn’t be a problem … and you know I love it when you owe me one, Red.”
She laughed and the warm sound sent bolts of real, honest-to-God happiness shooting throughout my body. She heated me up faster than the best scotch I had ever tasted.
“Paying up is one of my favorite things to do, Asa. I’ll come pick you up at your place when I get off of work, if that’s okay.”
I groaned and told her, “You and those handcuffs. One of these days I’m gonna make good on my threat to use them.”
She laughed again. “I can’t wait. I’ll see you later.”
When I hung up the phone Ayden turned herself completely sideways in her seat and was staring at me like she had never seen me before.
“What?” I knew I sounded surly but I wasn’t ready to have her pick apart my complicated relationship with Royal. It wasn’t like I understood it well enough to offer up an explanation anyways.
“You’re in neck-deep with the cop, aren’t you? Since when do you agree to meet the parents?”
I was in way past my neck. “Pretty much in all the way over my head at this point, and I meet the parents when it matters.”
“Are you scared?” I remembered how hard and fast she had run from Jet when he decided she was the only one for him.
“I’m scared for her. I screw up everything that matters to me, but I’ve been nothing but honest with her and she’s still here. She keeps telling me I’m a risk worth taking.” Which meant I had to make a good impression on her mom, even if it meant dipping into my old bag of tricks. “Royal and her mom are really tight. It was just the two of them growing up, so the mom’s seal of approval would be nice.”
Ayden nodded. “You are a risk worth taking … and so is she. If you stop worrying about what might happen between the two of you and focus on what is happening, you’d be able to see it clear as day. I think you love her but you’re so caught up in the then and so worried about the when that you can’t even see the now.”
“I don’t have a clue how to love someone else, Ayd.”
She reached out and thumped me on the side of the head, which made me scowl as I pulled to a stop in front of the familiar house on Capitol Hill.
“Stop making excuses. You’re too smart for that, Asa. You love me, you love Mom even though she doesn’t deserve it, and I think, finally, after way too long, you are starting to love yourself a little bit. You can love Royal if you allow yourself to.”
Her eyes brightened as the front door to the house opened and a tall guy with messy dark hair and really tight, black jeans came out on the front steps. Jet Keller and all his rock-and-roll ways was not who I would have ever pictured being my sister’s soul mate, but it was there on every feature of her expressive face. He was it for her and always would be. I saw a smile tug at her mouth as she put a hand on the door before she turned back to look at me.
“Allow yourself to love someone fully, Asa. It’s what will finally set you free from the past. There’s no room for anything else, no space for all that regret and recrimination when you’re filled up with that kind of love. I know you said you woke up from that coma for me, but you haven’t been living, and I think Royal might be the one to finally give you a reason to start.”
She climbed out of the car and Jet started to come down the stairs toward her like the fifteen feet separating them was just too much to bear. I called Ayden’s name and she bent down to poke her head back inside the car.
“I miss you. I just want you to know that.”
She winked at me and I saw hands covered in heavy silver rings slide around her waist from behind.
“I miss you, too, but I think I’ll worry about you less after this trip.”
Jet bent down and told me hello, then hauled my sister out of the way and kissed her like he hadn’t seen her in weeks instead of hours. If that was what living looked like, I really had been doing it wrong for the last couple of years, and Ayden was right.
CHAPTER 16
Royal
I wasn’t really sure what had possessed me to ask Asa to meet my mother. I don’t know if it was the need I had to get him to see that this thing working between us was important, more important than anything he was trying to hold on to before, or if I was pulling one of his tricks and trying to see if he could handle my temperamental parent. Either way I knew I had ulterior motives for asking him to go with me, and considering he was smarter than anyone I had ever met, I knew he had to know that as well.
Even so, when I knocked on his apartment door right after work, still dressed in my uniform, he just leered at me and told me never in a million years did he ever think he would find a badge sexy. Then he kissed me hard enough to knock my hat off the top of my head and reminded me again that my handcuffs had more than one use. I just rolled my eyes and followed him to the 4Runner. One of these days I was going to surprise him and let him make good on all the wicked promises I saw in his amber gaze when he teased me about that particular tool of my trade.
On the way to my mom’s place in Littleton I gave him a brief rundown of what to expect. I told him how she liked to jump from spouse to spouse. I gave him the glossed-over version of my own origins, which had him lifting a questioning eyebrow in my direction. All I could do was shrug and tell him I had never had a relationship with my father and never wanted one. My mom had worked her ass off to be more than enough for me and I never felt lacking in the parental love and support department. The guy that had contributed the other half of my DNA already had another family when he started fooling around with my mom, so it wasn’t like I was missing out on any kind of stellar role model. Asa just snorted and told me that a philanderer was far better than a career convict when it came to father figures, and I had to admit I agreed.
“Mom’s been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster lately. She’s never liked to be alone, and ever since I went to work full-time, she’s been even more prone to looking for love in all the wrong places. I really worry about her, and sometimes I think she’s going to cross the line and I won’t be able to look the other way. Her men and the way she is with them has always been the one sore spot in our relationship. But nothing I say about it seems to sink in. It would break my heart if a man ever really drove a wedge between us.” I gave him an arch look. “So don’t flirt back if she starts to lay it on pretty thick. Sometimes I think she actually loses her mind around good-looking men.”
He grinned at me and I felt my heart flip over in my chest. Just the fact that he had agreed to go with me meant so much and I doubted he even realized it.
“Stop worrying. If there’s one thing you don’t have to worry about, it’s me being able to handle your mom.”
“Handling her isn’t what I’m worried about; tolerating her is.” My mom was my favorite person in the world, but if she made googly eyes at Asa while I was in the room, I very well might flip out. I had never been the jealous or possessive type before him, but now I was in so deep, so far down in the depths with him, that I wouldn’t hesitate to stake my claim even if I logically knew there was no way my mom would ever want to hurt me or upset me like that on purpose.
Asa reached out a hand and put it on the back of my neck, where he could give it a squeeze. It made a shiver race up along my spine. I wanted to pull the SUV over and climb in his lap. To be honest I always wanted to climb all over him, but the fact that he was try
ing to reassure me, that he was willing to go through the motions of meeting my mom just to make me happy, made me feel even more amorous toward him.
“Moms are a piece of cake. The dads used to take more work, but then again I wouldn’t want my daughter anywhere near a guy like me either.” His tone was full of self-deprecating humor and I wanted to purr as his fingers stroked along the curve of my neck.
“It’s hard to picture you doing the sit-down-and-meet-the-parents thing.” It was hard to see him as anything other than this complicated and difficult man that had become the center of everything to me.
“I did whatever I had to do to get me what I wanted, including meeting the parents.” There was no humor in his voice now.
I turned to look at him as I pulled in front of the town house and cocked my head to the side as I told him, “And yet here you are doing it for me.”
He just stared at me for a long moment and then a tiny grin tugged at his mouth. He bent forward and pressed his lips lightly against my own. “Here I am.”
I knew what he was saying to me. Not just was he here to meet my mom for me, he was here with me in this moment. Not because he necessarily wanted to be, not because he was going to gain anything from it, but simply because I had asked him to be and he was making a concentrated effort to be present, for me. There was no question about it any longer, I had handed my heart over to the southern charmer with a criminal past. Probably not the smartest move I had ever made, but I couldn’t regret it. Not when he was looking at me with that warm shimmer in his eyes and that knowing smirk on his too-pretty face.
We walked up to the front door and he put his hand on my lower back. I had ditched my hat in the car and pulled my hair out of the coiled-up bun that held it up and out of the way while I was on duty. I actually groaned out loud when Asa raked his fingers through the long locks and rubbed his fingers across my scalp. I gave the door an obligatory knock before walking in and hollering out a hello to my mom. She yelled back that she was in the kitchen, and I headed off in that direction only to be drawn up short when Asa paused at the hallway wall to look at the various pictures that decorated the flat surface. They were all of me, several of me and Dom and his sisters, and a bunch of me and Mom. His eyes seemed glued to the images and all his good humor and gentle handling from moments ago disappeared behind a hard veneer that dulled the typical molten sheen in his gaze. His jaw clenched so hard that I actually heard his teeth grind together and his arm felt like steel when I reached out to touch him.