3
I was right; Zoe wasn’t missing. Martin just didn’t know where exactly to look for her.
Which was t the corn field.
It had been our secret hang-out since freshman year. Ten steps from the signage that says, “Welcome to Woodborough,” ten steps to the left, and then another ten steps to the right.
Nobody except for Zoe and I knew how we’ve been loafing around the corn field, at that particular spot where we cut a bunch of our corns to make way for our space, for nearly half of our lives. It was our place.
“Zoe.” Her back was against me, head bowed down. When she turned around to meet me, her eyes and nose were puffy and red. Evidently from crying. I loped to where she stood and embraced her as I reached her. “I’m so sorry, Zoe. I didn’t mean to mess up the rehearsal. Let’s just go back and get it over with the way it should be, okay? Come on.”
Her head shook frantically from left to right.
No? To going back or to my apology? Wanting to find out more about what the gesture was all for, I pulled apart from her. “What?”
“Liv, I’m…I’m sorry!” she sobbed, and this behavior of hers had me quite taken aback. I’ve never seen her in this state before. Which meant she must be hurting bad. Real bad. But from what? And why was she apologizing to me when the disaster that was the wedding rehearsal was all my fault? “I made…I made a terrible mistake,” she added.
My brows furrowed in immense confusion. “What are you talking about, Zoe?”
But by then, another voice emerged, putting her answer to a halt.
“What is this place?”
Dylan.
Frowning, I swiveled to face him. “What are you doing here? And if it couldn’t be any more obvious, it’s a corn field.”
He rolled his eyes. “Zoe texted me to meet her here. I didn’t know you’d be here, too.”
I fought the urge to seethe. I would not give him the satisfaction that he got to me.
My gaze swung to Zoe’s, one that etched bewilderment all over it. “Is this true?”
She nodded her tearful face. “Yes. Because there’s something I want to confess to both of you.”
If she wasn’t a blubbering mess and looking definitely wretched at the moment, I would have scolded her for letting Dylan in at our place.
Of all people!
“What is it?” Dylan asked, his demeanor changing to a concerned one as he marched nearer to Zoe and patted her on the back. He became a little nearer to me as well that the musk of his cologne drifted to my nostrils.
I felt instantly nostalgic. It was the same scent he had from high school. I had loved his smell, though I had never admitted that to him when he had been courting me.
But I refused to digress. This whole situation we were in now was all about Zoe, not him. Or me. Or us.
Wait, there was no us. There had never been us.
“It was my fault,” Zoe began, struggling to fight the sobs from breaking out so perhaps she could do this so-called confession with smoothness. But ended up failing massively. “Liv, when you asked me to mail the last letter for Dylan, I…I didn’t mail it. I mean I did send one, but it wasn’t that letter. It was one where I tried to copy your handwriting and…and said that you didn’t love him…that you never did…and that he should never ever write to you again.”
My knees almost gave in, shock ruling every fiber of my being. But I didn’t fall. I refused to.
Was she being serious? This must be a joke, right?
Zoe went on, her snivels getting slightly louder. “That’s why…that’s why you never heard from him after that.” Then she brought herself down on her knees, grabbing onto my wrists. “I’m sorry, Liv. Please forgive me…I’m so sorry.”
But I was still swimming in my shock to form a string of words to respond to her. I had known Zoe had a little crush on Dylan when we were in high school. It just didn’t occur to me she would do such a thing. Or that she was even capable of it.
“I swear to God, I tried to tell you the truth, Liv,” Zoe explained, still down on her knees. “But I had been so afraid. Afraid I’d lose the friendship I have with you. I love you, and…and I didn’t mean to hurt you. To hurt both of you. I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”
I finally found the ease to move, hunkering down so I could reach for her arms. Then I helped her up before I embraced her, rubbing my hand consolingly along her back while at it. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad, Zoe. I understand.”
I did. I really did.
“I don’t.” Dylan’s voice could slice a boulder. Sharp and stern. Even the gaze he’s throwing toward Zoe’s way was identical I had this sudden instinct to protect her from him.
But I didn’t have to because he then started walking away.
I freed Zoe from my arms, making sure she’s okay, before I ran after Dylan. He was on the verge of mounting his posh vehicle when I found him.
“Hey!” I called, and he looked at me angrily. At a halt, he waited for whatever else I was about to say.
What the hell was I to say?
“Look, you have every reason to be mad—” I started.
Which probably wasn’t a good one as he cut me off with a loud, hysterical “Don’t you?!” before he slammed the door of his car so thunderous I felt the vibrations ringing in my ears. “I thought I fucking lost you and I blamed myself for that! Because I didn’t have that much power at 18 to not leave, to fucking stay here with you!” He paused, looking at a distant space, his chest heaving up and down from his hard breathing. Yup, he was angry. Fuming. Then he looked at me again. “And that speech you pulled off this morning? God!”
I jumped to my defenses. Clearly, that speech he was referring to was nothing more now than a waste of words and anger. “I didn’t mean that until—”
“You have no idea how much it hurt me to hear you say that all that I did for you were lies. That they meant nothing when they meant the whole world to me. You meant the whole fucking world to me!”
Tears dripped from Dylan’s eyes, glistening like bits of diamonds as the sun’s rays hit his face. Underneath the manliness he was exuding from his clothes and his car, I still see the teenage boy I fell in love with. Who fell in love with me first. Which as I remembered at this very second the events from years ago, was too surreal. When he had stood at one of the cafeteria tables and brazenly announced his claim on me. As if the very scene was pulled out of a 1980’s movie. Almost everybody had made a fuss about it because he was smart and hot, and I was not. I had been a plain Jane. Until now, I still was. But Dylan had never cared for what they said. He had courted me. He had told me he loved me. I just hadn’t said my feelings back because I hadn’t been ready. And when I finally had been…
“Have I lost you?” I asked all of a sudden. Maybe to him it was a spontaneous question, but in my mind it made total sense. It will give me my much needed clarity if he threw out his answer. “Have I lost you?”
“What do you—”
“I mean if you still…” But I stalled to go on, suddenly feeling terrified for myself. What if—
“If I still love you?”
My stomach roiled in a mix of shame, anticipation, and pessimism as he filled the words. Then again I bravely nodded. Because that’s what would it take to dig out the answer from him, and then I can get the closure I’ve been waiting for. So I can let him go.
I can finally let him go.
“There was never a second of a minute of a day that I didn’t love you.”
I stopped breathing.
Out of all the revelations hurled to me in the past two hours or so, this had been hands down the knockout. And yet also the most wonderful I was having trouble how to react to him. To what he said. And to how he was looking at me at the moment. So much yearning in his eyes. So much passion. For me.
“You do?” I asked, resisting the impulse to cry even though I knew it would be out of sheer joy. I was not succeeding.
A loud, deep sigh esc
aped Dylan lips. “Yes. Even after I’d been told by your fake letter that you could never love me back. I guess I lived in this illusion where you are mine and we’re beating the odds of a long distance relationship. And the only thing we’re holding is a promise that one day we’d be together…And I can finally kiss you and make love to you and then you’d get pregnant so you’d have a reason to marry me. Because baby or not, I will marry you.”
I didn’t realize my feet had dragged me in front of him. Or that a smile had split my face despite the tears running from my eyes. “That’s a crazy illusion. But very realistic.”
Dylan brought his hand up to wipe my tears away when I suggested, “So what do you say we forgive Zoe and—”
Brows furrowing, his hand easily lost contact with my cheeks. “How could you forgive her so easily?”
I shrugged, beaming at him. “Because I chose not to overlook the million good things she did for me just because of that one mistake.”
“That one mistake could have cost us not being together. Not today. Not ever.”
“But it didn’t.”
Dylan’s jaw clenched; his stare at me grim. “It could have been.”
“Are you seriously angry at her?”
He tore his gaze away from me to the ground, pondering for a moment. “Honestly…I’m not. I guess I’m just pissed because we wasted ten years. I wasted ten years.” He paused to grit his teeth, perhaps the imagination of what could have transpired between us in that span of time was streaming in his head.
I felt regret over those lost years, too. But we’ve found each other now. And that’s all that mattered.
“And all this time I’ve been talking to her, she didn’t tell me about that goddamn letter,” Dylan added.
My smile turned sheepish. It’s also most likely that my cheeks were blushing too. “You asked about me to Zoe?”
Dylan took notice of my reaction and the furious air on his face instantly lifted. “Every single time. And there had been a lot of those times.”
“I wish you hadn’t listened to my fake letter.”
His fingertips tenderly brushed my jaw line as he spoke. “I was hurt. I really thought you could never love me.”
“But I did…”
“I know that now.” Dylan’s hands traveled to my waist, encircling it with his arms. “So you love me?”
I nodded, sprightly. “Yes.”
Beaming, he pulled me closer. “And tomorrow?”
I stalled to answer and just smiled foolishly at him; let his anticipation simmered first. It was a well-deserved punishment for even asking such a silly question. Plus, it was a sight to see him wait…the hunger in his eyes. The hunger meant only for me. Eventually, “Forever. Is that good enough?”
“The best.” Then without wasting any more of a second, he cupped my face and kissed me. Fused with powerful longing, his lips pressing onto mine took my breath away. Shook the very ground I was standing on. As though he waited ten grueling years before he could finally do this. Well, he did wait that long. We both did.
Wait, come to think of it, we didn’t actually wait. At least not for this very moment. Not for a reunion of our hearts. I was waiting for my closure, while he, he was stuck in his illusion.
So maybe Zoe had made an awful mistake, but in the end she still fixed it. And that’s all that counted.
After a few seconds, Dylan’s mouth let go of mine and he hugged me tight. “God, I am never letting you go again.”
“Me either.” I reveled in his warmth and affection. Both that I longed to feel from him. Both that I never thought I ever would. Then I noticed Zoe on one side, sniffing, and I beckoned for her so she could join in on the hug. But as she walked closer, I noticed she was clutching something with her fingers. A worn-out envelope. Straight away, she handed it out to me.
“What is it?”