Chapter 16
I have traveled all over the world in the course of my duties as a Prime. Of course, nearly all of those trips have lasted an hour or less -- just long enough to destroy the Enclave beastie du jour -- and most of them have kind of blurred together in my memory.
A few of them do stand out, though. The mission in Zimbabwe still bothers me sometimes, as does the one in Somalia. I wish I could have done more to help in both of those countries than simply to destroy a monster. Hawaii was beautiful, of course, both times I've been there, and the Italian Riviera was a blast. But I don't think I have ever been to a place where the landscape was at the same time so austerely beautiful and so darned annoying as where we went today.
"Where is this place?" Mike asked as we materialized into what appeared to be a snow-covered valley. The light was dim; we couldn't see the sun, although the sky was not completely dark -- more like twilight.
"Iceland," came Wizzit's reply. "Specifically, you're standing in the caldera of the Katla volcano, which is part of the Myrdalsjokull glacier." (Yeah, he whipped out the name of that glacier as if he had been practicing it all his life. I had to look up the spelling to make sure I got it right.)
"A volcano?" Padma exclaimed, sounding alarmed. "It's not going to erupt, is it?"
"Depends on how fast you can stop their monsters," Wizzit replied.
"Monsters?" Bill repeated. "As in more than one?"
"Two -- a fire monster and some sort of ice thing. Iceland is the land of fire and ice, after all. The fire monster is toward the center of the caldera, apparently trying to melt its way down through the ice. Ice monster is coming up on your left. Lily and about forty Zoinks approaching from behind. Better look lively!"
I could see the bulk of some sort of Enclave critter, covered all over with yellowish-white fur, shambling toward us. Off to the right, a cloud of steam was starting to rise. Mike said, "Right. Umm, Blue, go take on Lily when she gets here."
"Indigo and I can attack the fire monster," Nicolai volunteered.
"No, I want you two on Mister Yeti over there. I'm guessing this fire guy will need a long-range attack so that no one gets burned."
"I will go, then," Trina said, and started jogging toward the cloud of steam.
"I'll go with you," Mike said. "Green, I guess that leaves the Zoinks for you, and Black . . . I'll let you decide where you can be the most help."
I could see Lily directing a whole bunch of Zoinks towards us, about a hundred yards away. Toby and I decided we would just keep an eye on the ice monster while we waited for her to get closer. I mean, why should we have to bring the battle to her, right?
Nicolai and Padma were approaching the ice creature warily now, their axes held at the ready. Bill stood behind them; his weapon of choice was apparently a bo, the standard six-foot-long karate fighting staff, and he was holding it in a vertical ready stance. The monster was glaring at the three of them through reddish, albino eyes and hefting a long stick made of what appeared to be pure ice, coming to a point at one end.
"Do we know that it is dangerous yet, Wizzit?" Nicolai asked.
"Not yet. Will let you know momentarily."
Mister Yeti had been drawing his arm back ever so slowly, and suddenly he let fly with his ice spear. So swift was his motion that he caught Nicolai completely by surprise. One second our favorite Pole was in a half-crouch, ready to attack; the next, he was staring in shock at an inch-thick shaft of ice that was protruding from his belly. Poor guy, he never even had a chance to hit the ground, Wizzit teleported him out so fast.
"Yellow!" Padma shrieked. "Wizzit, is he . . .?"
"Bleeding his guts out all over my nice, clean kitchen floor? Why, yes! Yes, he is, thanks for asking." Padma let out a moan of despair, and Wizzit went on soothingly, "Relax, Indigo! I have already initiated a maximum-depth healing coma. The ice will melt slowly enough that the healing will be accomplished before Yellow has a chance to bleed to death. Everything is under control. Yellow is not in any pain."
Bill stepped forward and laid a hand on Padma's shoulder. "Yellow will be okay," he assured her. "I've seen people come back from worse. Come on, let's you and me take on this guy."
Padma set herself and nodded once. "Yes," she said fiercely. "Let us destroy him!"
"Go ahead," Wizzit put in airily. "I believe we have established that he's hostile."
I had been watching Mister Yeti scoop up handfuls of snow while Padma, Bill, and Wizzit had been talking. Now he was pressing them together between his paws, as if he were molding them into a snowball. I wasn't sure what kind of damage he could do throwing snowballs at Bill or Padma, but I was sure that I didn't want to find out. Quick as I could, I whipped out my blaster and shot him. Toby must have had the same idea, because our two blaster beams struck him in the chest almost simultaneously.
He staggered backward, almost falling on his furry butt. As he windmilled his arms, the ball he had been molding flew from his grasp. Even in the dim light, I could see that it was hard and shiny -- a glittering lump of pure ice.
"Be careful with this guy," I warned Padma and Bill as I put my blaster away. "Looks like he can turn this snow into ice plenty fast, and he can probably form it into whatever shape he wants."
"Duly noted, Blue," Bill replied tersely.
"Uh, Blue, you might want to turn around now," Toby said from somewhere behind me, "unless you feel like getting your butt kicked."
I whirled. A Zoink was approaching me, coming on fast. Well, as fast as Zoinks ever get, anyway. I whipped out one of the moves I had been practicing with Bill, the jumping 540-backwheel, and blasted it in the head. "Where's Lily?" I asked, looking around as it slowly collapsed in front of me. "I don't see her."
"She's, umm, in the back, off to the left," replied Toby, who is six or eight inches taller than me and could therefore see over the heads of the Zoinks. He swung his hammer with a grunt, taking out two of the drones. "Looks like she thinks she needs bodyguards after that adventure in New York. Got herself surrounded with a bunch of Zoinks."
"Thanks, Green. I'll just have to see about those so-called -- aagh!" I broke off as a shower of what felt like red-hot needles drove themselves into my back. "Damn, that hurt! What was it?"
Toby was making a similar exclamation. We both turned around in time to catch a second blast directly in the face. "Damn!" he yelled, pawing at his eyes.
I was a little luckier than he was, or maybe my reflexes were just a hair faster. I had caught a glimpse of Mister Yeti making some sort of flinging motion towards us, as if he were scattering seed in our direction, and I brought an arm up in front of my face a split second before we got hit. Still hurt like hell, though.
"Blue, where are you?" Toby shouted. He was staggering in my direction, waving one hand in front of him like a blind man, the other rubbing at his face. "Blasted thing's done something to my eyes; I can't see!"
I sidekicked a Zoink out of my way and took Toby's arm. "Easy, mate," I said gently, dodging as he sent a wild punch my way. "I'm right here. Wizzit?"
Wizzit sighed. "Another one down; you've got some pretty severe damage to the eyes, Green. Prepare for teleportation and a big, fat healing coma immediately afterward. Better let go of him, Blue, unless you're coming along for the ride."
"No, I reckon I'll stay here. Things to do, people to see," I quipped. I squeezed Toby's shoulder. "Take it easy, Green, and heal up fast. We're going to need you here as soon as you can get back."
He groaned. "Will do." There was a flash of green light, and he vanished.
"I thought our force shields were supposed to protect us from stuff like that," Bill said acerbically.
"They do," Wizzit replied. "Ice monster is apparently capable of throwing out very hard, very sharp ice crystals at very high rates of speed. Green and Blue would have been hamburger twice over by now without the force shie
lds."
"Thanks, Wizzit," I said. "That's good to know." I whipped out my blaster and popped off a shot at the monster, who looked like he might be thinking about throwing something else at us. "I vote that we keep Mister Yeti off-balance so he doesn't give us any more nasty surprises."
"Indigo and I will handle that, Blue," Bill said coolly. "You're going to have your hands full with the Zoinks. Better start taking care of them."
I slammed my blaster back into its holder, trying not to take offense at having been dismissed so casually. Personalities aren't really important, I reminded myself. It's the mission that counts. "I'm on it, Black," I said. He was right, and I knew that he was. And if it had come from Shelley, I wouldn't have minded so much.
Forty Zoinks is a lot for a single Prime to handle by himself, so I got busy. With a sai in one hand and a blaster in the other, I wouldn't exactly say that I kept them under control -- that would have meant Zoinks sprawled on the ground and me just going after the ones struggling to get up -- but I did keep them away from Bill and Padma, and that was the important thing. Even better, I managed to take the fight to Lily once in a while -- often enough, at least, to prevent her from organizing much of an offensive against Indigo and Black.
Funny thing, I had never seen Lily get mad before. Sure, Crazy Kung Fu Zombie Chick was quite the spitfire, but there was no real anger to her attacks, just cold, impersonal, deadly force. I could see, though, that my antics were frustrating Lily to no end, and she just kept getting madder and madder. Finally, she ordered her Zoinks into an all-out swarming attack on me personally.
That was fine with yours truly. In fact, I had been hoping she would do something like that. Two reasons: one, it kept their attention on me and away from the folks who were fighting the real battle, namely Padma and Bill; and two, I didn't want to wind up like Nicolai or Toby. Twice now since I had been fighting Lily, I had felt that shower of red-hot needles hit me; twice, I had been lucky enough to be facing away from Mister Yeti when it happened. I figured that my luck wouldn't hold out forever, and if there were a three-deep crowd of Zoinks between me and the ice monster, then that would greatly lessen my chances of getting a blast of razor-sharp ice crystals in the face.
"How are you folks doing?" I asked Padma and Bill as I picked up a Zoink bodily and threw it into a knot of four or five others. "Any luck with the ice guy?"
"Not so far," Padma panted.
"He's got too many offensive weapons," Bill added. "Every time we get close enough to do some damage, we risk getting blinded or disemboweled."
"And having one of you snipe at him with a blaster doesn't help with that?" I asked.
If he replied to my question, I must have missed it, because I was suddenly distracted by something else: an unexpected break in the crowd of Zoinks right in front of me that gave me a direct route to Lily. I dashed forward and wrapped her up in my arms.
"Let me go!" she demanded, struggling like crazy and trying to kick her heels back into my shins. Now, if it had been CKFZC doing the kicking, then it might possibly have worked, but Lily Lee was no fighter.
"Not a chance," I hissed into her ear. I tried to ignore how good her hair smelled and how nice she felt in my arms. "Call off your drones. Now!"
"No!" She sounded frightened. "You'll . . . you'll kill me if I do!"
That took me by surprise. "Uh, no, I won't," I replied. "I could kill you right now if I wanted to, but you'll notice that you're still breathing. Now call off your drones!"
"N-no! They said I have to fight you if I want to help Uncle Oswald!"
Uncle Oswald? That was . . . random.
I heard her gasp with alarm, and I looked up to see Mister Yeti flinging a shower of ice crystals our way. With speed that surprised even me, I threw Lily over my hip, still keeping my arms around her. We landed side by side on the ground with a thump, my body (and force shield) between her and the deadly shards. I grunted with pain as the red-hot needles stung my back again.
I don't really know why I bothered to save Lily's life. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time, I guess. I figured that gratitude was too much to hope for, and it turned out I was right. She began yelling for her Zoinks just as soon as she recovered the breath I had knocked out of her. I was able to kick the first drone or two away, but with her lying on my left arm and me struggling to hold onto her with my right, it just wasn't working out. Finally, I gave it up. I thrust Lily away from me, kipped up to my feet, and started pounding me some Zoinks.
"This isn't going to work!" I heard Bill exclaim in disgust. "We can't get close enough."
I decided to repeat my earlier advice. "Have you tried sniping at him with blasters?"
"Yes, I already told you that. He just goes after the Prime doing the sniping."
I caught a glimpse of Mister Yeti going into his ice-crystal routine again, so I quick grabbed a pair of the Zoinks I had just been pounding and slammed them together in front of me to form a makeshift shield. The ol' "red-hot needles on the back" trick was starting to get old. The shards hit, and the Zoinks collapsed forward into my arms. I gulped as I saw the way their backs had been shredded and said a silent word of thanks to Wizzit for the protection of my force shield.
"But what if both of you shoot at him from different angles?" I suggested to Bill. "He can't attack in two directions at the same time, can he?"
"That would work if I had a blaster. The only spare one we had was reserved for use by Junior Prime Pink."
"Then take mine!" I grabbed a Zoink off the ground and used it as a battering ram to bull my way past its fellows. Bill was just ahead of me, and I tossed my blaster to him.
"Thanks, Blue," he said, catching it in the air. "You sure you don't need it?"
"For pounding Zoinks? No way! It makes it a little more fun, that's all. Besides, if I do need one, I'll just go get Pink's. This is one mission where we don't want a Junior Prime around who doesn't have a force shield."
Tossing away the limp Zoink in my hands, I took a quick look around, trying to spot Lily. None of the Zoinks appeared ready to go after Bill and Padma at the moment, so I figured I had a chance to harass my favorite lady minder some more. I couldn't find her at first, but then I spotted her a little ways off, apart from the Zoinks. She was kneeling in the snow, her hands resting on her knees and her chest heaving as if she had just sprinted a marathon. As I watched, she suddenly bent forward as if she were throwing up.
"What's wrong with her?" I muttered to myself.
"Oxygen deprivation is catching up with her, I would expect," Wizzit replied indifferently. "We're nearly a mile above sea level, after all, and I doubt she is acclimated to this altitude. The air is sufficient for normal activities, but she has been exerting herself rather heavily."
"Huh! Then why don't I feel it?"
"You would, except that I have been making adjustments to your metabolic processes to handle it."
Hmm. I couldn't think of a suitable reply to that, so I just ran over to where Lily was on her hands and knees. Her hands, half-buried in the snow, were red and raw; as I approached, she wiped her mouth and forced herself to her feet, thrusting her hands underneath her armpits to warm them. She was hunched over slightly, and I could see that she was shivering a little.
"Wizzit, how cold is it here?" I asked.
"Not too. Just a little below freezing, with a bit of wind. Well within the range of your force shield's ability to compensate."
I looked Lily up and down. She seemed miserable. Defiant, but miserable. The thin material of the black Enclave jumpsuit she was wearing didn't look like it would provide much protection from the cold, and she was still struggling to catch her breath.
"Lily, give it up. Don't do this," I pleaded. "None of us wants to hurt you." I switched to Cantonese. "I want to help you, Li Lin-fa. Help me help you."
"Stop it!" Lily shouted.
She sank to her knees and pressed her hands to her ears. "Stop it! Stop saying those words!"
Dumbfounded by her reaction, I knelt in front of her and gently pulled her hands down. "What words?"
"Those words I don't understand!" she cried. "There's magic in them; you're putting a spell on me just like before. Those words -- they make me weak! They make me not want to fight you any more! Stop saying them!"
So speaking directly to Li Lin-fa was having an effect after all? Interesting. I brought her hands together between us and covered them with my own. They felt like ice. "Those words, Lily," I told her earnestly, "hold the key to who you truly are." I brought our four hands to my mouth and blew on them, warming them with my breath. "I have missed you, pretty one," I said in Cantonese. "Come out and talk with me."
"Stop it!" Lily tore her hands from my grasp and jumped to her feet. I could probably have caught her before she got away, but my heart wasn't in it. I even felt sorry for her, in a way. Sure, she was acting like some sort of refugee from the loony bin, but I could certainly understand why. I guess that's the reason I just knelt in the snow and stared at her retreating figure.
"Getting some interference over here, Blue," I heard Bill say sharply. "I thought you were supposed to be the Zoink-basher extraordinaire."
I sighed. "On my way, Black."