“You can’t just break the connection because you want to. We are meant to be together, and I know you feel that, too,” Seth replied. The tears were fading into anger. “We have always been meant to be together. Logan Jones doesn’t get to decide who you’re meant to be with. You aren’t his destiny. You’re mine.”
Seth reached over and touched my face. Tingles shot from his fingers straight to my toes. Everything inside me heated up at his touch. I missed him very much. It was hard to not just curl into his arms. I needed him like I needed water. I wanted him like I wanted ice cream on a hot summer day. He was the other half of me, and always would be. But I had to let go. I had to move on. I had to keep everyone safe, and Logan knew how to do that. I didn’t like the price, but I was willing to pay it if that meant they would live out their lives here in my time, if that meant Seth would live.
I stepped back. My brain had to take over as my heart would never let go of Seth.
“We can’t be together anymore. We just can’t.” I looked back to the ground. It was too hard to look at him.
“Why? Give me the real reason.” Seth reached for me again, and this time I backed up far enough to be out of his reach. I couldn’t let him touch me, or I would cave. I had missed his touch so badly.
“Because I need answers, and Logan has them,” I replied with as much of the truth as I could tell him.
“And his answers don’t include me.” Seth’s tone changed. He was truly angry now. I wasn’t sure if it was at me, or Logan.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “We have to break up.”
The words were halfway impossible to get out of my mouth. I had never wanted to say that to him, but I had to now. Logan was watching. It had to be real, even if I never planned to stay with Logan. My breakup with Seth had to feel authentic. Even if Seth never forgave me, if I could save them from their fate, I had to do it. I had to endure.
“Love doesn’t just go away,” Seth replied.
I couldn’t answer that. No, love didn’t go away. The love I had for him would never go away. He was my other half. But I had to keep us apart for his sake and everyone else’s. My love was greater than ever, but I couldn’t let him see that. I continued to look at the floor.
Seth approached me and kneeled to get into my line of sight.
“Just tell me what’s going on,” he pleaded quietly. His tactics had changed again. How was I to refuse him? I loved him. I was close to caving in and giving him what he wanted. I wanted to tell him, but I had my deal with Logan that was keeping the words bottled inside.
“We can’t be together,” I answered. It was a one-dimensional response, and I knew it. It didn’t tell him anything, but it was the truth. I would never lie to Seth. Never.
“I heard that, but why?” Seth asked gently. I preferred anger over his niceness. “Give me something so that I can understand this better. Give me some hope that this is temporary.”
I stared into his beautiful brown eyes. They were sad, mad, and laced with concern. I didn’t blame him. This wasn’t how our meeting should have gone. We were supposed to throw ourselves into each other’s arms and greet each other with the kiss I had been wanting for days. He was supposed to hold me and never let me go again. We were supposed to have the future I dreamed about. There were many things I wanted to do with him—new places to see, new foods to eat, new adventures to have. We were supposed to do a lot, and none of that would happen now. He would move on with his life. He would eventually forget me. He would be happy, even if he wasn’t mine. Logan had promised me that much. He would live longer than the next couple of years. He wouldn’t die on a battlefield. He would be happy, have children and a wife, he would grow old. It was the greatest gift I could give him, and he’d never know it came from me. I couldn’t even tell him that much.
“I love you Seth, and that will never change, but we can’t be together now or later. I can’t say more than that, but know that I’ve always loved you, and everything I ever told you was true. The piece of my heart you own will always be yours, but fate doesn’t want us together. We were meant to be with other people. I’m sorry,” I answered.
I wasn’t prepared when he stood swiftly. Instantly I was in his arms with his lips pressed to mine. The zing of tingles filled my body. Every fiber of my being was happy in that moment. Warmness spread to the tips of my fingers, and I felt energy at his touch. He was perfect. The kiss was perfect. Everything felt right. We felt right. It was hard to know it was wrong, that we needed to be apart when it felt this perfect.
“I don’t know what Logan is holding over you, but I’ll find out. He’s using tricks and threats to make you his. I know this game. He’s been playing it for years. Ever wonder why you never had another single guy ask you out once you broke up with him? You should ask him some time. I’m not letting you fall for this. I’ll find a way to get you back. You’re mine, and will always be mine.”
Seth didn’t need to surprise me the second time as he pulled me close. His anger was still flaring, but I could see it turning into determination. His lips met mine, and I couldn’t help but return the kiss. It didn’t matter what Seth found. My fate was the same. I couldn’t be with Seth, no matter how much I loved him.
“Marcella Navina, you have been mine since the first time we met. You may have won this round, Logan, but you won’t win the game,” Seth said into the empty room.
The tingles pulled back as he let go of me. Seth leaned in close so that only I could hear his last remark.
“We were meant to be together. I’ll find a way to change what he’s done. You were never meant for him. You will always be mine.”
Chapter 6
New College Semester
“Too bad he doesn’t know the rules of the game.” Logan had reappeared and spoke to Seth’s back as he stormed down the hallway. “He should just save his energy since he can’t ever win. It’s my turn to win this time.”
Sighing, I sat down on my bed. I was drained emotionally and physically. All I really wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry. I tried not to look at Seth, but I could see it in his eyes. Even though he was showing an external bravado of not giving up, I had hurt him. I never again wanted to cause someone I loved pain like that. I appreciated that Seth could see past what I was doing, and that I still loved him, but it was going to make things harder. To get what I wanted, I needed Seth to move on so that I could pretend I had also. There was no way I could ever let go of him completely, but if I saw him move on I could agree to pretend. I needed Logan to think I’d moved on. Even if Seth discovered my reasons, it wouldn’t change anything. I still couldn’t be with him.
“Go away, Logan. I just want to sleep,” I complained, not even turning to him.
“Aww, and here I was stopping by to be helpful. I figured you’d want to go back to college early and not hang around here where Seth is staying until they head back next week,” Logan replied.
“He’s staying here?” I asked, sitting up. I didn’t think about where Seth was staying. I had assumed he was at the Sangre house.
“Yes. In fact, I think he’s in the room next door,” Logan replied, waggling his eyebrows at the adjoining wall between the rooms. That was way too close for me if I was going to follow through with breaking up with him. My heart would win that battle in a second if I stayed too close. “I don’t think that boy is going to give up on you so easily. It probably won’t help if he’s nearby. Just remember, if you go back to him you don’t get to save him.”
Logan was right again, and I hated it. He was so cocky.
“Fine. Take me back to college,” I replied. I could cry my eyes out anywhere, and college had the added bonus that I wouldn’t have to explain to my mother what was going on.
Logan held out his hand. I took it and magically appeared at the Sangre beach house. I was standing in Seth’s room, looking out his window onto the beach. What was Logan thinking? Was this another test? Wallowing at Seth’s place wasn’t going to help, either. I tu
rned to smack Logan when I realized the room I was standing in. It was Seth’s room, but the deep-purple color of the walls and bedspread were way too familiar to me. This was my room in some alternative college past, one that I’d never lived, but could remember.
“Why are we…?” I was at a loss for words. I had no clue what to ask.
“I tried to make your memories as close as possible, but I couldn’t live in the dorms. It was easier to change the past, and have you and Sim live here with Kye and me, than to move into the dorms myself. I’m just not a fan of communal living,” Logan explained. When did he have time to change the future again? There was so much I didn’t understand.
“And Seth, Ty, and Dee?” Were we all living together? That would be strange and more than a little awkward for everyone. Maybe Logan liked it that way.
“They can handle the dorms. They’re used to living under poorer standards than I am. And I figured here would be easier for you to mend your heart than having to see him around every corner,” he added.
I was a bit surprised. I expected to find that the house grew rooms, and I would be tortured having to see Seth each day. But I guess Logan wasn’t going to be a complete dick about the situation with Seth. I assumed he’d be gloating about breaking us apart, but thus far he seemed to be trying to make it easier for me. I hadn’t expected that from Logan.
I shook my head at his last statement. The reality was that I’d used the time apart to mend my heart, but he didn’t pull me off campus to do just that. I wasn’t that naïve. If I was away from Seth it would give him more time to have me to himself. He just didn’t know how it wouldn’t change anything. There was no way he would ever be able to replace Seth, but if he thought that he stood a chance, maybe then I’d learn the truth.
“If you need anything, I can always whisk you back to Chicago,” Logan added as he walked to my bedroom door.
“About that,” I added. I pulled at the bracelet. “This isn’t needed anymore, is it?”
Logan shrugged but kept on walking without answering. I guess that was his answer. Too bad. What Seth had said before he left got me thinking. What if I could change the past? If I could head back and warn myself somehow not to take the stupid bracelet, I could be out of this jam. I could even go back and tell Seth that I had to break up with him to learn the secret, but to just wait for me. I couldn’t make plans to go back and change the past if I couldn’t travel. Logan still had me trapped, and unfortunately I had to play his game.
I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. There were all sorts of new memories to sort through. I now had three different college experiences I remembered, but only one was true. It kind of sucked to have my head messed with, but it sucked even more that everyone that couldn’t travel remembered nothing of the real past. Yes, Logan was good at keeping a large part of it the same, but things did change. I was glad he had made Sim one of our roommates, and I didn’t lose her in the last set of memories, but it wasn’t the same without us sharing a room and living in the dorms.
“Made it back already?” Kye asked from the doorway. He was dressed in a sweater and jeans, and looked casual. I had to do a double-take. He grinned at my reaction.
“I never thought you could look so…” I didn’t have a word that wouldn’t be insulting. Normal and less uptight fit, but didn’t seem nice.
Kye’s eyes lit up at my struggle for a word. “Less military?” he offered.
“Yeah, something like that,” I said, standing and making him spin for me by waving him around the room.
“Really, I’m a normal person,” Kye replied. “Until I went back to Logan’s palace, I grew up in a normal house, just like this one.”
“But way more high tech,” I said. At least that was my image of the future.
Kye shook his head. “Not that much. I think my parents liked things more this way. We didn’t really have too many new gadgets or anything. It really was very much like this house.”
I sat back down on my bed and Kye moved to the window.
“I’ve never seen this much snow before,” he commented, looking out at the lake.
“I know,” I replied. “Neither had I until I came here. It’s kind of surreal, but really pretty.”
“It’s just as I pictured it, snow built up on the lake with the frozen shoreline,” Kye answered.
“You’ve been picturing the snow on Lake Superior?” I replied. That was odd.
Kye turned back to me and grinned. “There’s much of this world I’ve wanted to see. My mother told me about all sorts of places. I thought they were fairy tales to get me to sleep until I traveled for the first time with my father. He showed me that my mother wasn’t telling me tales, she was telling me about the worlds I would see one day.”
“You mother knew about this stuff?” I asked.
Kye stood and looked back out the window like he was thinking of an answer. “Yes. She knew about all of it.”
“Could she time travel also?” I asked. I got the feeling we were talking about a difficult subject.
“No,” Kye answered. “She was stuck in the future like everyone else.” I wanted to ask more, but it was hard for him.
I stood beside him and looked out the window. His past in the future seemed harder than his life in the past. He never told me why he went to the past with Logan, but I got the feeling his real life in the future wasn’t that great. Seth said Mr. Sangre only had one son. Was it possible Kye was thrown aside? Was he a secret?
The snow fell outside. It was truly beautiful as the large fluffy flakes came down. The edges of the lake were already frozen, with the waves making beautiful sculptures along the shoreline. Everything was magical.
“I used to think there were winter faeries that made the snow,” I said quietly. “Only something magical could make something this pretty.”
Kye smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was focused on the horizon. His bright-red hair was now longer than the short military cut he wore in the past. I would have asked him how he did that trick, but he didn’t seem to be in a joking mood. He was somber as he stared out the window. His violet eyes were thinking something, and I wanted to ask what it was. He was still such a mystery to me. He was as beautiful as Logan, and in many ways he was almost the same, but his eyes, though purple, were different. I saw love behind them, alongside compassion and goodness. He might have shared the same blood as Logan, but he was different. I knew very little, but I trusted him. My gut told me he was a good guy. Even as I stared at him now I could see it. Kye was the light in the dark world Logan was creating for me.
Kye’s gaze broke, and he turned to see me staring at him. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I could feel a sense of familiarity and knew that it was all right to study him. Something deep down told me that I knew him. I just wished he would tell me more. He grinned and pulled me to sit beside him on the window seat. A warmth traveled down my arm at his touch. Yes, I knew him, and there was something more to him. I wanted to know what, but knew he wouldn’t tell me. I’d already tried. It was a subject Logan forbade him from talking about.
“Enough staring at frozen water,” Kye commented, ignoring, or not feeling, the warmth. “So how bad did Logan mess up the past?”
I stared at Kye for a second before I realized he had asked me a question. I was still trying to figure out what the warmth meant. It was the same tingles that drew me to Seth. But the fact I didn’t feel anything romantic for Kye made me wonder what it meant. If anything, I felt protective of him. In person, he felt more like Ty, more like a best friend than anything else, but the warmth was confusing. I didn’t feel that when I touched Ty. What did it mean?
“He’s always proud of how he can make everything almost stay the same. I doubt he did a good job this time, though. If I remember correctly, you lived in the dorms,” Kye added, ignoring my questioning eyes.
“Oh, yes,” I replied once I could finally get words out. Kye was giving me one more mystery to solve. It was jus
t one more thing on my plate. “I lived in the dorms, so this all feels very messed up. Are you ready to try out college?” I asked, trying to change the subject. Talking about my version of the past actually ticked me off a bit, and if I wanted to play nice with Logan, I had to stop getting angry with him.
“It should be a fun adventure.” Kye grinned, and this time he was back to being all smiles. Eyes and all. “I always wondered what college was like.”
“Do you have memories of your first semester here?” I asked. I was sure he was in my memories and all, but I wasn’t sure how that worked for him.
“Oh, yes, it was a great time.” Kye’s eyes sparkled. “Even if they aren’t real, I feel like they should be. It’s the life I’d have wanted if I got to choose it myself.”
“You don’t have college in the future?” I asked. It sounded strange to me, coming from a time where almost everyone I knew went to college, that he wouldn’t.
“Oh, there’s still college, or a version of it, but it wasn’t an option for me. Once I found out my job, I didn’t get much say in what was being planned for me. Gatekeepers have an obligation.”
“Oh,” I replied. I hadn’t thought of that. Logan was a gatekeeper, yet he got live a normal life, and go to college, so I assumed that was Kye’s life also.
“I’m sorry about everything,” he added.
Kye suddenly stood and moved to leave the room. Was Logan nearby? Was Kye going to get into trouble again? He had such a knack for sensing when someone was approaching. Not even ten seconds later, Sim appeared at the doorway. It was as if he already knew Sim was coming. Maybe he did. I needed to learn more about these gatekeepers, and what they could do.
“Roomies, you’re home.” She cheered, rushing into the room.
“I’ll leave you girls to catch up,” Kye said as he walked to the doorway. He didn’t turn around as he left, and I couldn’t help but stare at him. He was too confusing, and my head had too much to worry about as it was, but I couldn’t help but wonder: Who was Kye, and what did he mean to me?