OTHER TITLES BY ALEATHA ROMIG
The Light Series
Into the Light
The Infidelity Series
Betrayal
Cunning
Deception
Entrapment
Fidelity
The Consequences Series
Consequences
Truth
Convicted
Revealed
Beyond the Consequences
and companions
Behind His Eyes: Consequences
Behind His Eyes: Truth
Tales from the Dark Side
Insidious
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Text copyright © 2016 Romig Works, LLC.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
Published by Thomas & Mercer, Seattle
www.apub.com
Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Thomas & Mercer are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.
ISBN-13: 9781503938724
ISBN-10: 1503938727
Cover design by Shasti O’Leary-Soudant
To Mr. Jeff. Without your love and support, my dreams wouldn’t be complete. I love you.
CONTENTS
START READING
AS WE LEFT THE END OF INTO THE LIGHT . . .
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
CHAPTER 30
CHAPTER 31
CHAPTER 32
CHAPTER 33
CHAPTER 34
CHAPTER 35
CHAPTER 36
CHAPTER 37
CHAPTER 38
CHAPTER 39
CHAPTER 40
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Forever is composed of Nows.
—Emily Dickinson
AS WE LEFT THE END OF INTO THE LIGHT . . .
Jacob
Taking a deep breath, I recalled the number I’d memorized and stored away. I steadied my hand as I fired up the other burner phone and dialed. Running my fingers through my hair, I listened to the rings.
Special Agent Adler, my handler, answered on the fifth one. “Agent McAlister?”
“Yes, sir,” I answered through gritted teeth.
“Fuck! We haven’t heard from you in over two years. Tell me you’re calling because you’ve got the evidence. Tell me to get the bureau ready, that you’re ready for the raid. Tell me you’ve got what we need to bring Gabriel Clark down.”
“Special Agent, we have a problem.”
CHAPTER 1
Sara
More than a week earlier
The granulation was off. From what I was seeing, that had to be the answer. I wasn’t sure why it had caught my attention or whether I should mention it to Brother Raphael or Brother Benjamin; however, the more I scrolled and clicked, the more apparent the problem became. From what little I’d picked up over the months I recalled working in the chemical lab, I understood the medications we created allowed Father Gabriel’s vision to be shared with the world.
Due to the energy constraints at the Northern Light, most of our electricity coming from the hydropower, we were forced to use dry granulation in the manufacturing of the pharmaceuticals. If the granulation of this new medication was off, slightly larger than that of its model medication, it could affect the absorption rate. I’d overheard many of Brothers Raphael and Benjamin’s formulation discussions.
The difference in the weights of the finished products was what caused me to question.
“Sara?”
Why am I questioning?
“Sara!”
Small beads of perspiration dotted my brow as my research all but drowned out the sound of Dinah’s voice. I reasoned that with most patients this minor difference might not be a significant issue, but I also worried that in others it could be life-threatening.
“Sara, what are you doing?”
Dazed, I looked away from the computer screen into Dinah’s concerned expression. My coworker, friend, and Assembly wife sister had an expression of sheer terror as she scanned the screen of my computer.
“I’m . . .” My words faded away as I looked from the report beside the keyboard to the screen. My mouth dried. I wasn’t in the program I was supposed to be in. I wasn’t adding the data and quantities I was supposed to be adding.
My pulse suddenly quickened. “Oh, Dinah, I don’t know what I was doing.”
She looked toward the wall and my eyes followed hers to the clock. It hung near the ceiling and was simple, plain, with a round silver frame. It reminded me of the clocks in my elementary school when I was a child.
When I was a child!
I recalled a clock in my past. It was the first thing I could recall in nearly a year.
Shutting my eyes, I tried to see beyond the twelve numbers and the hands in my memory. As if it were right in front of me, I saw it. I even saw the skinny red second hand running circles around the black minute and hour hands. I blinked twice, wishing for more of the scene to materialize and at the same time fearing that it would. Below the clock from my childhood was a large green blackboard.
Wait, that didn’t make sense. Blackboards weren’t green. Besides, my elementary school would’ve been in the dark, a place that was gone to me forever. How then could I remember that clock?
Dinah was speaking, and finally her words broke through my thoughts. “. . . Brother Benjamin will be back from Assembly. What will he say when he sees you’ve not completed your assignment, but taken the liberty—”
I moved my head back and forth as I exited screen after screen that I didn’t recall opening. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was doing. It was because something in the numbers seemed wrong, like it didn’t fit. I was curious. I started looking . . .” I pulled my lip between my teeth. “I’ll confess.” My head hung in shame. “To Brothers Benjamin and Jacob.”
Dinah’s arm moved protectively around my shoulders. “We still have a few minutes. I’m not saying you shouldn’t tell Brother Jacob. You should. But if I help you, maybe we can get the data entered before Brother Benjamin gets back from Assembly. Besides, Brother Raphael won’t be here for another hour. He still has the Commission meeting. Depending what Brother Benjamin wants us to do, I’m sure we can get this entered before then.”
I let out a long breath. “Thank you, Dinah. I’m not even sure how I knew what I was doing. I don’t know. It was just—” I knew the answer. It was the same problem I continued to battle. It was my curiosity. “I didn’t want anything to be wrong. Father Gabriel’s mission is too important.”
Its importance was real. We all believed in his mission.
Dinah pulled a high-backed stool from her workstation up
next to mine. The wheels easily glided across the smooth cement floor. “Do you want to read or enter?”
I pulled the correct screen back up on the computer. “I’ll enter. You read. Start with yesterday’s production . . .”
It was only a few minutes past ten when Dinah stopped reading and asked, “Sara, how did you know how to get out of our program? I mean, we don’t know any of the passwords.”
As I tried to recall, the memory was a blur, as if someone else had taken control of my movements. My lip disappeared between my teeth. I wasn’t trying to be deceitful or cunning. What I’d wanted to do was to help, to figure out why the weights weren’t matching. Finally I replied, “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”
It wasn’t like me to be secretive, but as I answered, I willingly shadowed the truth in ambiguity. Brother Benjamin had created this program. I recalled entering Raquel’s name and 05. Raquel had told me once that she and Benjamin had been together here at the Northern Light for five years. It was a guess, but I’d been correct on the first attempt. From that moment on, I hadn’t thought, I’d just clicked and scrolled as if propelled by a sense of inquisitiveness that felt familiar yet foreign.
I replied to Dinah the way I did because if I confessed to Brother Benjamin that I’d been outside my program and he changed the password, I’d never be able to go outside it again. And though my conscience weighed heavily upon me, the yearning to keep access and learn more was too strong to ignore. Therefore, as we worked to complete my early-morning duty, I simultaneously contrived a way to confess without disclosing everything.
As the last number was entered, the door to the lab opened and Brother Benjamin came inside. The summer months at the Northern Light required less outerwear than the cold, dark months. Brother Benjamin hung his light jacket on the row of hooks near the door and ran his hand through his hair.
“Good morning, Sisters.”
“Good morning, Brother Benjamin,” we answered in unison.
His brow was furrowed as if he were deep in thought. I knew that things had been stressful with the Assembly lately, and Jacob had been spending more and more time away at other campuses. I didn’t know the particulars, only that it had something to do with Xavier, The Light’s other pilot, being ill, and a new pilot helping.
Swallowing my shame at my unusual bout of disobedience as well as an unusual, overwhelming desire to hide my behavior, I nodded to Dinah, who squeezed my hand. “Brother Benjamin,” I said, “may I speak to you about something?”
The creases in his forehead deepened. “Is this a private matter? Would you like me to call Jacob?”
My natural reaction was to shake my head, yet my training was too strong. I lowered my eyes. “If it’s your will. In the meantime I’d like to tell you about something that happened this morning.”
With my head down, I couldn’t see his expression.
“Sister Dinah, would you go to the coffee shop and get three coffees?”
My chest heaved at his calm tone. This was my chance. If I confessed outside of Dinah’s hearing, I could do it without admitting to everything.
“Yes, Brother,” she said, giving my hand another squeeze.
Once the door closed, Brother Benjamin asked me to continue.
I lifted my gaze. “This morning, I was entering the data like I always do. Well, the products, batch 3F789, the weight seemed wrong.”
His lips formed a straight line.
“I know it isn’t my place to question. I’m not questioning.” Silently I said a prayer to Father Gabriel that Brother Benjamin wouldn’t tell Jacob I had been questioning. “It was an observation. I went back to previous orders. The weight isn’t off by much, but it’s not the same. If the quantity is equal, the weight should be too.”
Though I waited for his reprimand, it never came. Instead he said, “Show me.”
I nodded, swallowing what little saliva I could muster, and walked back to my workstation. The report with the data we’d successfully entered was on my screen as I moved the mouse and brought my computer to life. I pointed to the numbers. Brother Benjamin stepped closer and stared at the screen. Without asking he took my mouse and began clicking and accessing past reports. The entire time I stood motionless, afraid that he would look at the search history and learn that I’d accessed information outside my scope.
It was bad enough that I’d done it, but to not confess and be caught would be worse.
“Sara, copy and send me the last three weeks of reports on 3F789. I know you have other work to do, and I don’t want to take your computer.”
“Brother, I’m sorry if . . .”
“Don’t be sorry.” He sounded genuine. “This is Father Gabriel’s vision. We don’t want there to be a problem.”
My exhalation of relief filled the lab.
“Sara, we won’t say another word about this.”
I wanted to ask whether that meant he wasn’t going to tell Jacob, but I stopped myself, suddenly aggravated by the whirlwind of unruly questions and thoughts infiltrating my mind.
The mental image of the clock had me confused. The simple, insignificant timepiece was burrowing into my consciousness. How did I know it was a memory? Maybe it was something I’d seen at the Northern Light. After all, there was a school here. Children went to day care at five weeks and began school at four years.
That didn’t answer why the image had expanded—why I now envisioned myself sitting behind a small wooden desk with my name scrawled on colorful paper taped to the upper edge.
This line of thinking was wrong. I’d been taught that. I needed to confess to my husband and study Father Gabriel’s word more diligently.
CHAPTER 2
Sara
Two days later
Each Wednesday night, everyone on the Northern Light campus attended service, but before it began I needed to meet with a follower at the day care. She and her husband had arrived at the Northern Light at about the time of my accident, and she’d requested help with her transition. Her husband was under Jacob’s supervision, which left her walk in The Light to me.
As I walked from the lab to the day care, I told myself to focus on Sister Priscilla and forget the fog of uncertainty that seemed to have settled around me. Strange visions plagued my thoughts. I planned to talk to Jacob. He could help, except he was still gone, and I hadn’t had the opportunity to confess my actions at the lab or my thoughts to him.
Whatever was happening with The Light had him gone more often and for longer periods of time. I didn’t even think he’d return tonight, as services on the other campus would have already started. All I could hope was that he’d be back to the Northern Light sometime tomorrow.
The reality was that Jacob’s schedule—like everything else—was up to Father Gabriel.
My thoughts went back to Priscilla, the female follower I was about to meet. We’d been meeting once or twice a week for a few months. I tried to do for her what Sister Lilith had done for me after my accident, recommending lessons for her to study and talking about Father Gabriel’s teachings. Part of my duty as an Assemblyman’s wife was to remind her of her place and role as helpmate to her husband.
Though Dinah’s and my workday was done at the lab, the non-chosen followers’ workdays lasted longer. As I made my way inside the large metal structure situated near the school, the voices of young children filled my ears. As soon as the children could speak they were taught to recite Father Gabriel’s word. I smiled at the sound of repeated verses and edicts. No doubt these children would grow to be strong soldiers and workers for The Light.
My boots clicked on the concrete floor as I passed partition after partition, making my way toward the youngest followers. Some classrooms were allowing free time, which I knew from my visits was precious to the young children. As little faces turned my way, “Sister Sara” echoed around me.
Even the children knew the chosen. Though perhaps it was prideful, my heart grew a fraction at each recognition. I’d spent many hours ge
tting to know the wives and children assigned to Jacob as an Assemblyman. In my heart I hoped they saw me as a friend and confidante as well as an Assemblyman’s wife.
Once I entered the infant room, Priscilla looked up and her eyes smiled. It wasn’t her entire expression, but I saw a sense of relief as I approached.
“Sister Priscilla, can I help you for a little while?”
“Oh, Sister Sara, thank you. Thank Father Gabriel. I know not to complain, but today has been”—her words trailed off—“it has been a challenge, but one I’m happy to conquer.”
The baby room wasn’t nearly large enough for the number of occupants. Apparently the followers were taking “Be fruitful and multiply” quite literally. There were two and three babies in each crib; some had bottles propped while others cried, waiting for their afternoon meal. Thankfully, not all were anxious. Some were sleeping, somehow immune to the wails reverberating off the walls.
Taking it all in, I shook my head. How had I never before noticed how many babies there were, or how short-staffed the day care was?
I went directly to a chubby little boy I’d held many times before. His cheeks were red and his nose runny as his little chest heaved with cries. As I lifted him, the weight of his diaper caught my attention. “Priscilla, I believe he’s wet.”
She nodded. “Father Gabriel set a limit on the number of diaper changes per day. It’s designed to teach the children control. Unfortunately, little Tobias must have had an upset stomach. He’s already used his daily allotment. And while maybe I shouldn’t have used them so early, he was very messy.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Tobias is an infant. He’s what? Three months?”
“Four.”
“When was his last diaper change?”
Tears teetered on Priscilla’s lids. I wasn’t sure whether they came from my questioning or her own frustration.
“About four hours ago. I-I can’t . . .”
“How many changes per day are the children allowed?” My question came louder than I intended and more selfishly than Priscilla could possibly understand. I wanted a baby—for Jacob and me to have a family. I understood Father Gabriel’s reasoning for the day care, but control? These were babies. They needed comfort, not control.