“Thank Father Gabriel,” Benjamin said under his breath.
I looked back. His eyes were closed and he was clutching Raquel’s hand. I doubted he even realized what he’d just said.
CHAPTER 34
Sara/Stella
From my vantage point on the floor in the back of the SUV, I couldn’t tell where we were going. When the SUV finally stopped, I tried to see where we were. It was the rumble of the garage door that let me know we were inside a new building.
When the back door opened, I looked up at the blue eyes of my dreams. He offered me his hand; however, in those piercing eyes, I didn’t see the Dylan I’d known. It seemed as though his learning my deception had changed something. What I witnessed was a growing harshness I didn’t recognize.
Was this the hard-ass Dr. Tracy Howell had warned me about?
“Dylan,” I began, meeting his gaze. “What happened? Where are we?”
As he helped me from the SUV, his head tilted and his lips formed an unnatural grin. “I thought you weren’t supposed to question. Maybe I should correct you. That’s what happens according to the doctrine you’ve been spouting all night, isn’t it?”
“That’s not you,” I pleaded. “Tell me the truth, and I’ll tell you the truth.”
Grasping my upper arm, he forcefully ushered me up some steps and through a door into a very nice house. Judging from the amount of time we’d been in the SUV, we were still in Bloomfield Hills. With each light switch that he pushed, the beautiful interior came to life.
Once we were in the designer kitchen, he led me to the table and motioned for me to sit in one of the chairs. For a brief moment, I considered refusing, but the Sara side of me obeyed. The lashes on my backside were no longer as big a concern as the man who had now taken me somewhere that I wondered whether Jacob would be able to find.
In a matter of minutes, Dylan’s demeanor had morphed into something neither part of me recognized, but he seemed to be the kind of person the Sara part had more experience dealing with, someone who expected obedience.
Pacing near my chair, Dylan appeared to collect his thoughts and rein in his words.
“Truth,” he began. “You want the fucking truth? Well, so do I.”
My ability to keep my chin down was waning by the second, as were my eyes’ ability to maintain the conditioned submissive pose. This wasn’t a man of The Light. This man had at one time been my boyfriend. And never in our relationship had I allowed him to speak to me with that tone.
Slapping my hands on the granite tabletop, I glared. “OK, truth. Let’s start with the fact you fucking gave me to The Light. Do you have any idea what kind of hell I’ve lived through?”
He reached for my chin. Clenching his jaws, he spoke slowly and deliberately. “No. Stella. Do. Not. Talk. To. Me. Like. That . . . I. Saved. Your. Goddamn. Ass . . . Show. Me. Some. Fucking. Respect . . . For. Once. In. Your. Damn. Life . . . If. You. Can. Give. It. To. Him . . . Then. I. Fucking. Deserve. It. More.”
I searched behind the manic blue for the man whom, at one time, I’d thought I loved. “Explain it to me, Dylan. Tell me what’s happening, what happened. I thought we . . . I thought we were going someplace. I didn’t lie earlier. After my accident, which wasn’t real, but some drummed-up scenario that The Light put me through. A scenario that harmed me—like broken leg, concussion, injured me—I did dream of you, of your eyes. When I was finally able to see, Jacob’s brown eyes upset me. I couldn’t remember you, because of the medicine they gave to me, but I wanted to remember. Please tell me why you did it.”
“How can I trust you?” he asked, taking a breath and sitting in the chair to my left.
Trust me? Is he serious?
“You lied about remembering,” he went on. “You acted like you didn’t know me.”
“I was afraid, and I didn’t lie about that. I’m still afraid.” I met his gaze. For the first time with any man other than Jacob, I felt empowered, back on an even keel. I wanted information. I just needed to figure out the best way to get it. “If I ever meant anything to you, tell me what’s happening. What was Brother Elijah saying? Why was he so mad?”
Dylan shook his head. “It’s you. It’s fucking been you. You have that effect on people.”
I waited as he ran his hand through his hair and leaned back with a look of utter exhaustion.
Reaching out, I covered his hand lying on the table. “I don’t understand.”
“I fought to keep you alive and now, this is what happens. Gabriel must be . . . shit . . . I can’t imagine.” He removed his hand from mine and pinched the bridge of his nose. Suddenly his eyes widened. “Where’s my phone?”
I looked from side to side. “I-I don’t know. I reached for it, but Elijah threw me to the ground. I think I left it on the sofa.”
“Fuck! I won’t know what Gabriel is thinking, unless he calls this one. I need to get my phone out of his office.”
“What? Why? And what is Gabriel Clark or Garrison Clarkson to you? How are you connected to all of this? I mean, you didn’t seem like”—I looked down and took a deep breath—“with me, you were never like them.”
Emotions flooded his expression, creating a spinning kaleidoscope. Happiness and sadness battled, and at the same time, I saw loss and duty as well as pride and shame.
“You may think you know The Light,” he said with an eerie calmness. “But you don’t. You only know what you’ve been allowed to see, and,” he added exasperatedly, “what you learned in your fucking research.”
I knew more than he thought because of Jacob, but I wasn’t going to correct him.
“Then tell me,” I said, adjusting in my seat as the cramps continued to ache. “Help me understand.”
“It’s bigger, so much bigger than you know. I’m not part of this fucked-up religious sect. I don’t beat or use women. The man you knew, that’s who I really am. And believe it or not, Stella, I tried to save you. If you would’ve had a damn ounce of the obedience you appeared to have with that asshole, you could be living your own life right now.”
My back straightened, rebelling at Dylan’s description of Jacob, but I decided that learning more about The Light was more important. “What do you mean, it’s bigger? And what did I do that caused Brother Elijah to be so upset?”
“You left. Nobody leaves and talks about it! Did you think you’d get away with it?”
Shit!
“I left the Northern Light and came here, because Father Gabriel ordered it. I didn’t, no, I don’t, want to be here. I’d rather be there.”
His gaze narrowed. “Truth? Really? Stop the fucking lies! You left the Northern Light four days ago with some douche bag named Thomas. I don’t fucking know if he took you willingly or unwillingly, but I know he said that you begged him to help you get away. He said you claimed you’d been kidnapped.”
It wasn’t only the cramping from before that caused my discomfort, but also nausea, bubbling, no, gushing and churning the sandwich in my stomach. If Dylan knew this, then so did Father Gabriel, so did the Commission at the Northern Light.
Where is Jacob? What have they done to him?
Perspiration dotted my brow and lip as the blood drained from my face. “Dylan, I-I . . .” I looked down, unsure what to say.
He reached for my chin. “What’s the matter?” he asked in a tone I didn’t recognize. “Cat got your tongue? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stella Montgomery speechless. Is that who I’m talking to now, or is this Sister Sara?”
“How? How do you know that?”
His palm slapped the table. “I told you, The Light is bigger than you think. What The Light doesn’t know is how the US Marshals became involved. Why would they be there when you landed and how did Jacob find you?” His expression softened and his tone morphed to that of the man with whom, at one time, I’d considered sharing a life. “That’s what I need you to tell me.” He reached for my hand. “Come on, sweetheart, I’ll show you mine, you show me yours. We used to be good
at that.”
I pulled my hand away. “Stop it, your bipolarness is scaring me.”
“Really?” His chair scooted across the expensive flooring as he stood and began pacing. “I scare you? I never gave you a damn black eye.”
“Neither has Jacob!” I retaliated. “This came from Thomas. The man you’re willing to believe. He’s the one who did this, and I didn’t want to go with him. He not only took me against my will but threatened to rape me once we got to Fairbanks. I don’t know why the marshals were there when we landed, but I’m sure as hell happy they were. They left me alone in an interrogation room for hours. They fed me, but kept promising I’d see another marshal and get to make a call.
“Guess who I wanted to call? Guess who I thought would be my knight in shining armor. You! I was going to call you! But the female marshal never came. Instead the first marshal walked in and told me my husband was there to get me. It was Jacob. I don’t know how it all went down, but I was fucking terrified.”
“Of?”
“Of everything! I was scared to go back with Jacob and scared not to. These last nine months have screwed with my mind. I didn’t know who to believe or what. I mean, I was with the US Marshals for Christ’s sake, and I thought my nightmare was over, but it wasn’t.” A tear slid down my cheek. “It still isn’t, and I’m with the person who I thought would save me.”
“You lied to me!”
I couldn’t reply; instead I crossed my arms over my chest and pressed my lips together. For the first time, I looked at the room around me and saw the tall, dark cabinets, high ceiling, and designer lighting.
Where are we?
“So,” Dylan said, “you and dear old hubby concocted this lie about you missing work . . .”
I nodded. “Yes, he was afraid of what could happen to me if The Light knew I was off one of their campuses. I was afraid to tell him I’d gotten my memory back. So I told him Thomas took me.”
“How did he know where you where?”
I shook my head. “I really don’t know. Don’t you get it? I’m not allowed to question.”
Dylan smirked. “Stella Montgomery couldn’t question. How did you function?”
I slapped the stone table. The sting in my palm took a bite out of my response. “Not well, not at first. It wasn’t easy. It was my biggest difficulty.”
“I can see that.”
“Dylan, you said The Light is bigger than the three campuses. What do you mean?”
“How do you know there are three?”
“My husband, I mean Jacob, is a pilot. He’d tell me when he’d fly to the Eastern Light or Western Light. He never told me where they were, but he’d use those names. I also knew we were at the Northern Light.”
We both stopped talking as the earth shook. Wineglasses hanging upside down from racks clinked against one another as the table trembled under my grasp. My eyes opened wide as we waited for it to stop.
Did we have an earthquake?
Dylan hurried to a wall of windows and then rushed to another room. The next thing I heard was a long tirade of curse words. Scooting my chair, I quietly made my way toward his voice. The house wasn’t nearly as large as Father Gabriel’s. From the front window of the living room, I could see other homes. From their size I presumed we were still in Bloomfield Hills. It wasn’t the neighbors’ homes Dylan was watching, but a glow in the distance. Above the glow, suspended in the night air, was a plume of smoke.
He reached for his other phone and dialed a number. Though I could barely make out what he was saying and my conditioning told me not to intrude, the Stella part of me wanted to listen to every word. Quietly I inched closer. I heard the name Joel and more curse words. He asked something about all of them, but he was speaking too low for me to make out anything more.
Once he put the phone back in his pocket, I asked, “What happened?”
Dylan spun toward me. “You, and I don’t know what fucking else. I won’t. I don’t have my damn phone!”
“I don’t understand,” I said to his back and broad shoulders as he turned again toward the window. On the wall I saw a clock, a quarter past one.
Pulling his other phone back out, Dylan swiped some numbers and turned toward me with disgust. “Damn circuits are overloaded.”
“Dylan, what happened?”
As I asked, the air filled with the shrill wails of sirens; though muffled by the walls and windows, they seemed to be coming from all directions. For a moment I prayed they’d be coming to us, and I might be saved, but that didn’t happen. Just as fast as they’d come, the sirens faded away, growing fainter with distance. I stepped toward the large window and watched as the dark Michigan sky filled with red and blue lights speeding toward the glow.
“I guess I won’t get my phone back or my car,” Dylan stated matter-of-factly.
“W-what?” I asked in disbelief. “That’s Father Gabriel’s—”
I couldn’t finish before Dylan turned back to me. “Go back to the kitchen. You wanted answers? Well, Stella Montgomery, you’re going to get them. Go sit the fuck down and listen.”
More sirens roared, only to fade into the general chaos occurring in the distance. Unsure what I had to do with any of this and why Dylan blamed me, I did as he said and went to the kitchen. He followed close behind.
After pulling a beer from the refrigerator, he turned a chair backward, sat, and stared. Once I sat, he took a long swig of his beer and began, “As I was saying, The Light is bigger than you think. The three campuses your husband”—each time he said husband he made a point of exaggerating the word—“told you about, that’s only a portion. The Light is everywhere. It’s not just about the followers on the main campuses. The Light needs followers in the field, in the Shadows, willing to do what it takes to bring light to the dark. Those followers are in law enforcement, like me. They’re in the medical field. They’re in every profession throughout the United States and Canada. The Light reaches beyond those borders, because only The Light can stop the dark.”
My heartbeat raced. I’d never seen Dylan like this. His blue eyes glowed with conviction, yet he wasn’t looking at me, but seeing things I couldn’t. In that moment I had no doubt he was part of it. “Why? Why you? How long?”
He shook his head and took another long drink from the brown bottle. Grinning, he said, “I bet good old hubby had a field day with your questioning. Did he get off beating your ass? I remember you having a mighty fine ass.”
I gritted my teeth. “Is Father Gabriel really your uncle?”
He nodded. “My mother’s half brother.”
“And when your parents died?”
“They were part of it. They died doing work in the Shadows for The Light.”
“So he took you in?”
“I lived with my grandparents, like I told you. But Gabriel and I had always been close. He never had any children.” Dylan shrugged and lifted a brow. “None that he let be born. He always wanted me to work with him, but I refused to be involved in the shit like you’ve been doing. I prefer the Shadows.”
“So those brides, have you ever . . . ?” I wasn’t sure I wanted him to answer.
“Hell no! They are, or were, his. They just know I’m a man with high ranking. That gives me unlimited power. I told you, I’ve never been into that shit. But, up until now, I never stopped it.”
“Until now?”
“Elijah. Shooting him. I’d given orders to keep you untouched.” Dylan lifted his shoulders and cocked his head dismissively to the side. “He disobeyed. When it comes to the Eastern Light, being Gabriel’s nephew, I hold my share of power. You said it yourself, earlier tonight, disobeying isn’t an option.”
“Those women . . . you said . . . were . . .” I swallowed the churning bile. “Are they dead?”
“Didn’t you see the fire? Did you feel the explosion?” he asked. “No one in that house survived.”
“Why?”
“Damn, Stella, have you lost your ability to comprehend? I
told you. This all started because of you and the fact that Thomas Hutchinson was in the dark, making threats. There’s always been a contingency plan. Witnesses are too dangerous.”
Oh, God!
Because of me?
“Kool-Aid?” I whispered.
“Only at the Eastern Light. Uncle was confident the other campuses are too well hidden.”
Thank God!
No Kool-Aid at the Northern Light.
“What did you mean that Thomas was making threats?”
“He was part of the outside Light, a follower in the Shadows. But when he called his connection, he told him that he wanted out of prison, where the marshals had taken him. He knows The Light is capable of getting him out.”
“Will it?”
“The Light can do anything. Will it? No, and it’s his fault.”
“The threats?”
He smirked. “Maybe you are listening. Yes, he didn’t just ask to be released. He said that if it didn’t happen soon, he’d start talking to anyone who’d listen.” An amused grin graced Dylan’s lips and his eyes narrowed. “The Light is everywhere. I’m sure that if it hasn’t already happened, very soon, the asshole who threatened to rape you will no longer exist. Who knows, if it’s another inmate, Hutchinson may get to know your fear of rape before he leaves this world. If I have anything to say about it, and now that I know what he did to you, I’ll suggest it.”
Part of me cringed at the idea that Dylan had that much power. The other part of me liked the idea of Thomas suffering for what he’d done to me. The evidence was mounting supporting my diagnosis of dissociative identify disorder.
“But you’re a policeman, a detective. You help people.”
“I do. I just helped you, for a second time.”
I looked down at my hands and lifted my fingers for him to see. When I did he closed his eyes and took another drink. I waited for him to finish before I said, “You knew. When we were at the morgue and the woman, the one who we were afraid was Mindy, you knew she was part of The Light?”
He nodded. “What do you want me to say, that I’m sorry? Because I’m not. It’s the way it is. You work the game in your favor or you lose. I’m not a loser, neither is Gabriel.”